Under the Streetlamp
I realized I had some reflecting of my own to do. Since when had I gotten so full of myself that I thought I could pinpoint a person's desires and fill them on command? That was work for a god.
“The order's a little off, but let's start with something ordinary.”
“O-ordinary…?”
“Yeah. That might not even be your real preference. You've never been with a man, right?”
“…No.”
“Figures, with your personality.”
“…You mean I should hit the gas again?”
“No. I mean pull over. There.”
It was only a little past ten, and yet the boulevard was nearly empty of cars. Hard to believe this was Gyeonggi, but that hardly mattered now. Eunchae eased the car to a stop on the road beside the park I'd pointed out.
“Let's take a walk.”
“…A walk?”
“Yeah. Let's start with a date.”
Her face went scarlet in an instant, and that gave me a little more confidence that this was the right call. Of course it was. She had no experience with men and didn't even know her own tastes, and I'd been trying to keep stuffing her with sexual pleasure—no wonder I couldn't find an answer. I could force it with the Heat Haze, but that would only make me a tool for getting her off. Filling the body alone and filling the mind along with it weren't even in the same league of pleasure.
“O-okay…”
Watching her hands fumble urgently at the seat belt, I undid mine and stepped out. Looking around, the place felt familiar. It was the park where Lahee and I had spent a pleasant hour. The wind coming from the other direction must have thrown me off.
“…gulp.”
Eunchae had already drawn up beside me, tension written through her whole body as she swallowed. I looked at her, then asked quietly.
“Cold?”
“N-no… If anything, I'm a little warm… Ah.”
Listening to her stumble over the words, I gently took her hand. The moment my fingers touched her she flinched and clenched her fist, but I held her gaze without wavering and kept softly working at her hand until the strength slowly drained out of it.
“Come on.”
“…Ah…”
I took her hand and started walking, and Eunchae dropped her head, following wherever my hand led.
“Was grad school manageable?”
“…Yes. It was hard, though.”
“What did your professor say?”
“That I was slacking off?”
“Mm. She must have hit the ceiling.”
“She did. Said if I was going to do that, I should just go study abroad. But I wanted a break too…”
“Yeah.”
We'd already had this conversation, but the way she answered so quietly told me she understood what I was doing. I'd meant to start light and loosen the air, and still it stiffened right back up. Maybe it was the sexual tension left over from the car, or maybe an atmosphere like this was simply awkward for her. Probably both. A girl who'd never been with a man—of course it was. Only now was I really starting to understand Eunchae. She was just a college student who had done nothing but study, with no experience of men. That was all.
“When you got worked up. Was there anything else?”
“…No…”
“Really? You were talking about a smell earlier.”
At that her face flared hot again. She swallowed and fidgeted with my hand. I waited without a word, and after a hesitation she spoke.
“Just… your smell, oppa. I liked it, strangely…”
“Where.”
I dipped my head toward the side of hers, and she startled, but when I tugged the hand I was holding she couldn't bolt. I made a show of sniffing, and she caught her breath, but I took in the scent as if it were nothing and murmured.
“You smell good too. You wear perfume?”
“…N-no… It's just the body wash from the locker room…”
“Want to smell me?”
She jerked in surprise and lifted her face, and I looked at her steadily. She was a little aroused, but flustered more than anything. There were only a few hints to go on, so I had to find them however I could. And the Heat Haze still wasn't catching in my sight.
“…R-really…?”
“Yeah. Come here.”
I drew her hand in, and the distance between us closed by inches. Standing in front of me, she looked up, then carefully buried her face against my chest.
“…Haah…”
“I told you to smell.”
“…Oppa.”
“Hm?”
“…I just wanted to say it.”
“You're kind of cute.”
“C-cute… I'm already twenty-seven…”
“Get the two of us alone and the act gets incredible.”
“I-it's not an act… I'm just nervous…”
“What do you think you're nervous about? The place? Or this, right now?”
“…Th-the place, I think… The situation too, but…”
“Too out in the open?”
She thought it over in silence, then gave a small nod. Her own read wasn't bad. So she preferred somewhere narrow. Come to think of it, she'd been a little like that in the car too. She seemed to like enclosed spaces. My conviction settled further: this was how I should have gone about it, calmly.
“Eunchae.”
“…Yes…”
“Thank you.”
“…What?”
Caught off guard, she tilted her head and looked up at me, and I stroked her cheek.
“Ah…”
“I know how hard you work at the instructor job. There must have been plenty of other things you wanted to do.”
“…N-no, it's nothing…”
“And thank you for being honest with me at the office. You were scared then, weren't you?”
“…Oppa.”
“It must have been really hard to say. Right?”
“A little…”
“Let's not rush this.”
“…Oppa…”
“We've got plenty of time ahead of us. Let's learn each other slowly.”
“Okay…”
“You were honest with me. I'll think about it seriously too.”
“Um, oppa…”
“Hm?”
“…You don't think I'm disgusting…?”
Now I got it. I'd wondered why she was so tense. Becoming a man and a woman after being senior and junior would account for some of it, but this was the heart of it. Confessing a preference like that couldn't have been easy. She was worried I might end up disliking her. I kept stroking her cheek and whispered.
“Disgusting, my ass. You were really cute in that office.”
“…R-really…?”
“Yeah. And why would I find an Eunchae this pretty disgusting? You didn't listen and that got to me, but you've agreed to listen now. Right?”
“…Yes… Oppa…”
“Mm.”
“…I… I want to kiss.”
I felt her looking up at me with hazy eyes and slowly lowered my face. A park at night, under a streetlamp—not a bad place for a first kiss.
“Hh—”
For all the boldness of asking for a kiss, it really was her first. The moment my lips touched hers, her whole body went rigid. I soothed her, sucking gently at her tightly sealed lips as if massaging them, and Eunchae held her breath, at a complete loss, and simply stood there.
“First time?”
“…Haa, haah… Yes…”
“Did you like it?”
“…So much…”
“Want to do it again?”
“…Yes…”
I dipped my head once more, and this time she hurriedly wrapped her arms around my neck and reached for me. Her lips, of course, were still pressed shut. There were plenty of ways to open them.
“Hnn—?!”
I slipped my tongue out and licked softly along her lips. Eunchae shuddered as if she'd been struck, squirmed, and the strength began to leave the mouth she'd kept so tightly closed. I moved the arm around her and stroked her back and shoulders, slow and gentle.
“Haa, haah… mn…”
“You have to breathe while you do it.”
“Ah… B-but I can't breathe…”
“Try, this time.”
“Ah… mn…”
I covered her lips again. She swallowed air in a rush, but as I kept working patiently against her mouth, her sweet breath began to slip out in a thin stream. I didn't miss the opening. I pushed my tongue in and swept into her mouth all at once.
“Hh— mn, haa, haah, mn…”
Under a kiss that was nearly a caress, the strength ebbed out of her little by little. She softened like a marshmallow held over a campfire, and I went on kissing her until I felt her breathing grow short, then slowly drew my mouth away.
“Ah…”
She looked up at me as if she regretted the loss, and a silver thread snapped between us. The excitement coming off her face was plain. I stroked her cheek and murmured.
“Your lips are soft.”
“…Ah, th… I'm glad…”
“Did you like it?”
“…Yes… So, so much…”
“See? Ordinary is good too. Right?”
“I didn't know it could feel this good… What about you, oppa…?”
“I liked it. Enough to want to do it again.”
“…I'm glad…”
She stared at me in a daze, as if she couldn't believe it, and the Heat Haze was rising off her body. Move my hand just a little and filling her here wouldn't be hard at all—but I understood now, more or less.
In the end, what we were missing was the connection.
Maybe she hadn't gotten excited and felt pleasure because I'd scolded her. Maybe, in that moment, she'd simply felt a real connection with me for the first time. If that other thing were truly all she wanted, a mere kiss wouldn't have worked her up like this.
“Shall we keep walking?”
“…Yes…”
“Were you always this docile?”
“…I-if you say it like that, what am I supposed to do…”
She shot me a glare, then met my eyes and yanked her gaze away in a hurry.
“You're the one who made me like this, oppa…”
“You wet?”
“Ah, oppa!”
“What? That's normal.”
“Even so. You'll ruin the whole mood.”
“Oh. Looking out for the mood—so you did like it.”
“…You're awful. That was my first kiss.”
“And? Was the first kiss satisfying?”
“…Yes… It was the best…”
“I'll do it again.”
“…Do it now.”
“Okay.”
She'd asked like she was teasing, but I pulled her straight into my arms and met her lips. Startled, she met my mouth with her eyes still open, and then they softened and closed, pretty and slow, and I tasted her lips a while longer before drawing away.
“…Honestly…”
“What. You asked.”
“…From now on I'm really going to ask every single time. Giving me something this good only now.”
“Did I hold a knife to your throat and tell you to hold back?”
“…That's cheap. I feel like I've been robbed of my life. All those campus years of nothing but a one-sided crush—I'm so wronged I could die.”
“Who even says ‘campus’ anymore? You're on this side now too.”
“I—I am not! I'm MZ!”
“Say it right. That word's jiral.”
“D-did you just swear? Oppa, did you just swear at me?!”
As if I were the only one with a right to feel cheated. I didn't say it. I just stroked her cheek, and the playful air settled, all at once, back into something quiet.
“…Ah…”
“You liked it that much? Your face is hot.”
“…Yes. Today… I don't think I'll ever forget it…”
“I'll make you plenty more things you won't be able to forget.”
“…Okay…”
The hand that came to take mine had loosened, just a little. It still trembled, and I could feel the sweat, but it was damp in a way that felt sensual. It would take time, and I'd meant to let her feel what it was like to be in love first—and that seemed to be the right answer. Preferences could wait until the connection between us ran deeper.
“Want to hold my arm?”
“Ah… L-like this…?”
“Yeah. And hold my hand like this.”
“…Ah…”
My arm pressed gently between her breasts and she flinched, but I didn't let on. I simply laced my fingers through hers.
“…This is more comfortable.”
“Right?”
“…You're really unusual, oppa. I worried so much, because I heard men hate this kind of skinship.”
“So you did imagine it. What kind of worrying?”
“…How I should approach you… Things like that…”
“Since when?”
“Since I saw you at the club… You seemed like you didn't like me…”
“I actually like this better. You know I'm a Multimale. I prefer it more direct.”
“…I'll get used to it fast…”
“No need to rush.”
I spoke to Eunchae as she looked up at me, my arm gathered against her.