Sunlight
"Hyunji."
"Yes?"
"I slept with the cafe owner."
Hyunji, halfway through her makeup, went round-eyed and looked at me. I watched her closely, but nothing uneasy or negative came off her at all. This wasn't proving as easy to unlearn as I'd hoped. She said it was fine, but it was common sense I'd lived with for decades—and I knew I tended, without meaning to, to be a little more careful in front of Rahi and Hyunji. That was probably because I'd given them so much of my heart. I was about to let out a sigh of relief when she answered.
"Really? When?"
"Not even a few days ago."
"I see. She looked so elegant."
"Yeah. She's a good person. I registered her, too."
"Right. I should introduce myself sometime."
"Yeah. And……"
The bright joy and anticipation I felt from her, and the way she worried over me, left me a little embarrassed despite myself. I cleared my throat lightly and went on.
"There's a director at the gym—Go Yewon. She's a friend of Rahi's."
"Yes. Did you…?"
"……Yeah. That's how it went."
"Oppa……"
Hyunji, who had been watching me with worried eyes, set her puff down in a hurry and came over. I'd braced myself for a scolding, but instead she gently stroked my cheek, studying every part of my face with a gaze full of concern, and whispered.
"……But even me, on top of that. I'm really sorry…… I didn't know, and I kept begging you…… Are you all right?"
Seeing her worry about nothing but my body made my heart itch. I covered the back of her hand and answered softly.
"……Sorry for what. I never told you. How were you supposed to know?"
"Even so. Our Oppa's going to wear himself out."
"No. Yesterday felt really good for me, too."
"What am I supposed to do with you. Do you want breakfast? Morning practice is optional, so it's all right if I'm a little late."
"No. It'd hurt me more if you got in trouble."
"……Oppa."
As her face came quietly down toward mine, I answered by covering her lips with my own. It was a light kiss, careful not to spoil the makeup she'd worked so hard on, but she seemed to feel the care in it—she smiled shyly and looked at me with warm eyes. I found my own gaze caught on her face, on features that looked far brighter than they had yesterday.
She really has changed.
Her skin seemed to shine, and if I looked hard enough Hyunji was so clear I thought I might see the blood moving beneath it. The tip of her nose looked a little more refined, her lips fuller. She'd been staring at her own face while she did her makeup, so she couldn't have missed it. Maybe she'd simply been too focused on the makeup.
"I always knew you were pretty. Why are you this pretty today?"
"……Right? Even looking at myself…… my condition must be really good today……"
She was embarrassed, but from the way she spoke she didn't seem to be registering the change all that sharply. Maybe it was because the original was already so beautiful. Or maybe I was the one being sensitive. I looked at her face a moment longer, then slowly drew her in by the nape and kissed her.
"……Hehe."
"You like it that much?"
"Yes. I feel good, and my condition is wonderful. And I like you so much, Oppa."
"Me too. Anyway, I don't see Toto today."
"He's a little unusual. He sleeps well in the morning."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. The others come clinging first thing, begging to be fed……"
"Then I'll head out."
"Ah—yes. Oppa. I'll be ready in a second."
I got up from the bed, left Hyunji heading for the vanity to fetch her handbag, and stepped out into the living room. Looking around, my eyes met the little one's up on the dining table, licking a paw. The gaze was indifferent, as if to ask whether I was on feeding duty today. Toto had those blue eyes turned toward me, blinking slowly, and I approached with care.
"Mrow."
"There, there. Cute. You remember me."
I stroked the white cat's head, and it purred as if pleased—and in that moment I thought it was exactly like Hyunji.
"Oppa, just a second. I only need to feed Toto……"
"Take your time."
Hyunji came out tying up her hair, filled Toto's bowl with kibble and water, and then the two of us left the apartment together.
"Haa."
"Today feels different."
She drew in a long, deep breath. Standing beside her, I shaded my eyes against the sunlight and lifted my face to the sky. Not a cloud anywhere—only a deep, clear blue, with the sun beating down. Already, at the tip of my nose, I could smell asphalt beginning to warm.
"I know. I hate turning the air conditioner on. It makes my body stiff."
"Getting to be that season, huh."
"It's still cool outside, but the practice room is sealed up, so it gets hot fast."
"You don't like the cold air?"
"No. I just have to be a little careful when I practice. In case I get hurt."
Worry and a small fear came through in her words. I looked over her body again at that, but I couldn't sense so much as a trace of an Ailment Shadow. I knew by now that it was hard to feel when she had clothes on, but it still nagged at me. Maybe later I'd ask, as if only in passing.
"Figures. Global warming must be pretty bad."
"They say this summer's going to be incredibly hot. I'm worried."
"The YouTube I watched said it might actually be cold. That's El Niño for you."
"Everyone says something different. I hope it isn't hot."
"Yeah. Same."
Hyunji took my hand as if she'd been waiting for it, and I held hers in return. She smiled shyly, spun her left arm in a circle, then tilted her head.
"But seriously, my condition is too good today. I think it's even better than during entrance exams."
"That's a relief."
"No, I really feel light. Is it actually because I'm with you, Oppa……?"
"You're making me sound like some kind of tonic."
"……That's right. My tonic."
"Glad you didn't say pesticide."
"Wh-what a scary thing to say."
"Yesterday you were saying you were dying because of me."
"……Th-that was different. No. It doesn't suit you at all, Oppa."
I met the eyes of Hyunji, quietly watching me, then took the weight of her head as she leaned slowly into me and kept walking. We weren't saying anything—we'd only just held hands—but a firm trust and affection came through all the same. Even setting aside this sense of connection, I would have known. It was one of the reasons my heart leaned toward Hyunji and Rahi. I didn't need to strain to focus on what the bond was telling me. She was looking only at me.
"Oh, right. That house. I thought about it."
"Yes. Have you already decided?"
"Not yet. But Hayeong's suggestion looked pretty good."
"Hayeong?"
"That's the cafe owner's name. Ju Hayeong."
"Ah. What did she say?"
I explained Ju Hayeong's proposal to Hyunji slowly, the same way I had to Rahi. At that her eyes went round; then she suddenly frowned and sank into thought.
"Why? You don't like it?"
"……Ah! Not at all. I just—I've heard something like this somewhere before, for a second……"
"Yeah? I hadn't even thought of it. What about you?"
"I like it. Honestly, I'd rather have a house than an apartment, too."
"That's unexpected. I thought you'd prefer an apartment."
"I lived in a house from the time I was little, too."
I had a feeling it was a house of a rather different class from what the others had meant. Still, seeing that Hyunji didn't dislike the idea, this way seemed better. Telling everyone all at once would have been easier on me, but I didn't think that was polite. Even if it was a hassle, I ought to tell each of them separately—and see how they reacted.
"The only worry is it might get a little more expensive every time we buy it off piece by piece. The landowner's bound to catch on."
"Mm. You think so?"
I let out a short laugh at Hyunji tilting her head, and stroked her hair. It was only natural. It would be stranger if a college student in her early twenties knew real estate inside out. I didn't, either. She was lost in thought, so I asked again.
"So you do like the idea?"
"……Yes. If anything, it puts me more at ease."
"Which part?"
"……If everyone's scattered, you'd have to go around from place to place. And that would be dangerous."
"Ah. There's that, too."
"It'll be like a little country village. Living all cozy together, just us—I think that'd be nice."
"Maybe. Hey, you're not trying to feed me because I've gotten old, are you?"
"Th-that's not it……"
"I know."
"You're terrible."
I knew it, too. It was practically my own selfishness. I still hadn't even seen everyone's faces properly, and yet I'd arranged things so they'd have to live together—that part kept snagging at me. I wanted them all to get along, but that was my greed. It didn't make sense that people who had lived apart for decades would suddenly grow close just because of me. All I could do was try my best, as far as I was able.
"Let's have a meal together next time. Everyone's got a decent personality, so don't worry too much."
"……Oppa. You shouldn't worry too much, either."
It was as if Hyunji had felt my unease. She looked at me and smiled gently, fiddling with my hand as she spoke, and for a moment I was at a loss for words.
"Because they'll all know what a huge happiness it is to have met you. I feel like I know how the ones I haven't met must feel, too. Wondering if this is real, if it's truly true, and worrying what if it's a dream. They'll be like that all day long. I was."
"……Yeah?"
"Of course. Even though it must have been a bother, you kept confirming it for me…… as if you knew I was anxious……"
Then she tugged my hand, brought our steps to a stop, and went on, looking at me with warm, unwavering eyes.
"You've never even touched your smartphone in front of me. When we're together, you're always paying attention only to me. I know perfectly well that you watch my every little movement. How could I not know you treasure the time you spend with me that much?"
"That's just……"
Not touching my phone was a habit worn in since my last life. Hardly anyone contacted me to begin with, and it was basic manners for getting along with people. Besides—with a girl this pretty smiling brightly and hovering right in front of me, how was I supposed to look anywhere else?
"And you act like it's the most natural thing, too. That's what I like so much, Oppa…… Because it feels like I've become someone who's allowed to receive your attention as a matter of course."
Then she rested her forehead quietly against my chest and whispered.
"Just as you are, you'll be as warm as sunlight to everyone. I can be sure of that now."
"……What. Who are you? Where'd our Hyunji go?"
Anyone else hearing it might have curled up from secondhand embarrassment, but between me and Hyunji, at least, it wasn't like that. Her words were close to a confession, and the joke I'd offered because I was getting a little shy didn't make her look away. If anything, both her cheeks were flushed as she smiled softly at me. Even I thought it was an embarrassing thing to say. When I quietly stroked her cheek, she whispered.
"……Hold me, Oppa."
"All right."
I wrapped my arms gently around her slender back. Hyunji circled my waist in turn, and we quietly shared each other's warmth before she whispered.
"Let's keep going like this. All right?"
"Yes. From now on, always. Just like this."
I started walking again with Hyunji, who looked up at me and smiled shyly, and before I knew it we had reached the bus stop. She had been about to check the bus time when she turned to me, worry on her face.
"Oppa. You're going to be late. It's already eight-thirty."
"It's fine. The place is right nearby. Stopping by the house will be cutting it close, though."
"Come to think of it, I've never even been to your place."
"Then next time, want to spend it at mine?"
"……Yes."
At my words her gaze went soft and hazy again, but the way she then startled and snapped back to herself pulled a laugh out of me before I could help it.
"Ah, Oppa. Seriously, go on ahead. I think I'd better just take a taxi."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I think it just went by."
If we hadn't spent that time being sweet with each other, we probably wouldn't have missed the bus—but neither of us looked as if we regretted it. At her urging I smiled, said all right, and slowly let go of her hand. Her fingertips lingered, reluctant to fall away, but I smiled quietly and said goodbye.
"Then hang in there today, too."
"You too, Oppa. Fighting!"
"Yeah."
At the sight of her cutely clenching a fist and drawing it in, I turned and started off. I could already see the women gathered in front of the cafe turning their eyes toward me, expectation rising in them, but I begged off with a small bow and hurried my steps. Twenty minutes was more than enough to stop by and come back. Because of that, I never quite caught Hyunji behind me—watching me go, murmuring something I didn't hear.