Chapter 9
Chapter 9
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 9
Chapter Title: I Got My Main Weapon - 1
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“Thanks for what?”
“You lot don’t need to know.”
I wasn’t kind enough to waste my breath explaining anything to guys who were about to die anyway.
My less-than-polite response made a vein bulge vertically on the other guy’s forehead.
“...You all stay put. I’ll kill this one myself.”
The man who seemed to be the leader took a step toward me.
“You’re not from Wonderland, are you?”
I stayed silent, and he flashed a confident smile.
“Knew it. No insignia.”
As he spoke, he pulled a hammer from his coat.
The kind of ordinary-sized hammer used for driving nails.
But its ornate decorations made it hard to call it ordinary.
The silver head gleamed with a diamond suit symbol from a deck of cards engraved on it.
“Do you know what this hammer is?”
“Yeah.”
“Like you know anything. Well, you’ll find out soon enough.”
I said I knew, but he reacted like that anyway. Coming back to the past had its perks, but this kind of thing was annoying.
Wonder Hammer.
In Wonderland, they always smashed the heads of anyone who crossed them—with a hammer, of course.
Then they’d heat the hammerhead and sear it onto the corpse’s bare skin.
Naturally, that left the symbol from the hammerhead imprinted on the body.
Diamond, club, spade, heart—it was up to the member’s discretion which one to brand.
The symbol itself wasn’t the point.
It was about leaving the message: ‘This was Wonderland’s doing.’
He tapped the hammerhead against his palm a couple times, continuing in his arrogant tone.
“Ellis is doing a stellar job distributing drugs. That’s why she finally got recruited into Wonderland. In simple terms, she’s climbed the ranks.”
“And?”
“Who do you think made the connection that let Ellis rise like that? Me. If you impersonate her and mess things up, I’m the one who takes the hit. You worthless nobody.”
Thud, thud. He tapped the hammer against his palm a couple more times.
“Now I’ll show you what a Wonder Hammer is. One question: between this hammer and your skull, which do you think is harder?”
“There are people whose heads are harder than hammers.”
He let out a deep sigh.
“Still no clue about your place, nitpicking like that... Don’t you know how the fearless idiots in history ended up? Did you even graduate from the academy?”
How’d he guess?
But I hadn’t dropped out of the academy voluntarily.
I’d been forced out because I couldn’t pay tuition anymore.
And I hated people who casually dragged up someone else’s painful past.
“Nope.”
“I’ll teach you now.”
His hand shot up toward the sky. But I was much faster.
I tapped his shoulder and wrist, making him drop the hammer. I snatched it out of the air and swung.
Crack!
The upward swing nailed him square in the jaw. His balance crumbled in an instant.
I looked down at him as he clutched his jaw and collapsed to the floor.
“No. I’ll be the one teaching you.”
Only after hearing my words did he seem to realize he was on the ground.
I casually spun the hammer once and spoke.
“You made the connection between Ellis and Wonderland?”
I couldn’t help but snort in disbelief.
“Elfriede was always obsessed with drugs. But the risks were too high to put her own name on it. She was scouting for a fall guy, and Ellis caught her eye.”
His eyes went wide.
He was probably shocked that I knew the inside story on high-ranking folks.
And even more shocked that I’d casually dropped Elfriede’s name.
“You made a connection? Yeah, right. You just did what she told you. A lowlife like you, full of hot air.”
All three faces went pale. The one on the ground asked with trembling lips.
“Who... the hell are you?”
“A dropout who didn’t graduate the academy.”
The moment I finished speaking, he raised both arms to shield his head.
But as I’d already confirmed, he was way slower than me.
Crack!
“Gah!”
If anything, it sounded like a watermelon splitting.
My quicker swing made a dull thud against his skull.
Wow, lucky guy.
He was still breathing. And I liked chatting with lucky ones.
“You worthless nobody.”
“Guh... guh...”
“Don’t you know how the fearless idiots in history ended up? Even a dropout like me knows.”
Splat—!
I smashed his head one more time, pulping it completely.
I rummaged through his body and found a silver trump card insignia.
This was Wonderland’s mark. Engraved with a diamond pip.
Naturally, lower numbers meant lower rank.
“See? The lowest of the low.”
I wiped the splattered blood from my face with my sleeve. Then I turned to the remaining two.
They were frozen like statues, unable to believe what they’d just witnessed.
“You met Ellis first, right?”
They nodded.
“What’d she tell you?”
“She said she had a fiancé...”
“And?”
“She blushed and her legs shook whenever she said his name. But it didn’t seem like she was on drugs.”
Crazy bitch. Was she seriously practicing her climax face?
No, that wasn’t the point right now.
“Hand over your Wonderland insignias.”
I took one from each of them.
Heart ace and club ace, just as I figured.
“I don’t kill guys who are quick on the uptake and polite. Let’s see if you qualify.”
My legs hurt, and I wanted to sit while we talked, but there was no good spot.
Reluctantly, I sat on the back of the guy whose head I’d smashed.
“Why’d you both join Wonderland? What’re you aiming for down the line?”
“We want to work hard and get promoted.”
“How far?”
“Graduate from Wonderland and join Blackjack, Her Majesty’s personal unit.”
The “queen” they meant wasn’t the Princess, obviously. It was Elfriede.
“Blackjack has different divisions.”
“We want to be Shadows, of course. Her Majesty’s hands and feet.”
“Shadows?”
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
All three guys I’d run into were faces I didn’t remember from my past.
What did that mean?
Simple. They’d never make it through Wonderland’s promotions to reach Blackjack.
“What’s the point?”
“It’s cool. And they’re insanely skilled.”
“Idiots.”
I’d thought the same back in my rookie days, just like these chumps.
I shook my head.
As I pondered for a moment, they broke the silence.
“You’re gonna let us live?”
“I am. But you’re dead anyway.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve got your insignias. What’re you gonna do? Get killed by Wonderland or run for the rest of your lives?”
“Oh.”
“Still, you probably don’t wanna die by my hand right now.”
They both nodded at once.
“Is there any way to escape Wonderland?”
“Why ask me?”
“You seem like a big shot.”
“No way out.”
“Oh...”
“Oh, right. Beat Wonderland, and you’re free.”
They went silent. Obviously. These clowns couldn’t take on Wonderland.
I was about to tell them to scram when something occurred to me.
“You two, did you graduate the academy?”
“Yes.”
“Obviously.”
Hmm. I rubbed my chin for a second.
“Get lost. Now.”
Job done, I returned to Ellis’s mansion. No—Florian’s mansion.
Big haul. I’d scored three Wonderland insignias for disguises.
“What the...”
The hallway floor, walls, and decorations sparkled.
The place was spotless. I’d only hinted at cleaning it up, and they’d gone all out. Guess that’s what comes with climbing the social ladder.
Ellis spotted me from afar and came running—thump thump thump.
Her massive chest and bunny headband bounced up and down with every step. Annoying.
And she ran in heels without tripping. Was that a talent too?
“Y-You’re back? You look fine?”
“Disappointed I’m in one piece?”
“N-No! Why would I clean the mansion like this if I wanted that?”
“You did it ‘cause Wonderland was coming.”
“......Th, thihihi~”
Hit the nail on the head, and Ellis coughed awkwardly.
“I hate liars the most.”
“Y-Yes?”
“Were you disappointed or not?”
“N-No, not at all~”
“Stake your life on it?”
A heavy silence stretched on.
Finally, Ellis scratched her cheek and spoke.
“...A little. B-But I trusted Florian more in the end, so I didn’t rat you out~ Right?”
“Sure.”
I nodded and glanced around, looking for an excuse to torment her.
Pat pat pat—
Right on cue, a rabbit hopped down the hall.
“Didn’t I tell you to clean that up?”
“Huh?”
“Ellis.”
“Y-Yes.”
“Walk faster. Pick up the pace.”
“......”
Ellis chewed her lower lip as she followed me down the hall.
Couldn’t blame her. She was currently crawling on all fours.
What could she do about it?
If she had complaints, she should’ve lived a clean life. If she was gonna do dirty work, she should’ve been stronger than me.
“Florian.”
“Call me that again, and you die.”
“Then what should I call you?”
“Figure it out. I’ll judge. But with only one life, you’d better think carefully.”
Silence again. We kept strolling the hall.
Me on two legs. Ellis on four.
“M-M-Master.”
“What.”
“M-My knees hurt. For real.”
“Who forced you to wear that slutty outfit? Who? Wonderland?”
“......”
Ellis’s face turned as red as her eyes.
She kept gnawing her lower lip like a carrot-munching bunny.
“Ellis.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Who directly manages the guys who came this time?”
“Cheshire Cat, right? The Transparent Cat. She handles Wonderland’s logistics from the shadows.”
“Exactly.”
I hadn’t asked out of ignorance, obviously.
Every time Wonderland recruited a new lady, they gifted her a relic called the Witch’s Curse.
The curses, made by Blackjack, went to Wonderland, and Cheshire Cat—the logistics head—passed them to the ladies.
“Cheshire’s so generous. Even remembers to gift the ladies.”
“Huh?”
“But the bunny bitch? Not so much. Not a word about what she got her fiancé.”
Ellis’s flushed face drained to pale in an instant.
“Wh-What do you mean...”
Playing dumb.
I grabbed her bunny headband and yanked.
“Defective product.”
I glanced around and stretched.
“How do we handle defectives in this mansion...”
“I’ll give it! I-I’ll hand it over! Please!”
“Good.”
Today was all about grilling Ellis.