Chapter 34
Chapter 34
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Not Easy - 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Staring at the black knights encircling us, Ellis muttered.
"...Did I screw up?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry."
I didn't bother replying to each one. Apologizing now wouldn't bring dead Kalliman back to life.
I took Trivi from Ellis and the hammer from Cheshire Cat. Tyr, her neck shrunken back like a turtle's, asked me.
"Boss, what're you gonna do now?"
"Gotta remake the flower bed."
"No, fuck... it's not about the damn flower bed. What about those knights?"
"Kill 'em."
"You make it sound easy. It's not easy. Isn't that right?"
"Easy."
Tyr and Dodo looked pretty spooked, but if we're being precise, it wasn't a situation where we needed to be scared.
Their boss went down without even putting up a fight. They should be the ones shaking in their boots.
In truth, the knights surrounding us moved stiffly. A sign their bodies were tense.
"I'll handle the fight alone. Let the women go."
No response from the knights.
"What's with the silence? You wanna ogle women's tits and asses even in the middle of a fight? Think that'll give you a power-up or something? Yeah, Ellis's rack is ridiculously huge."
"M-Master! What are you saying?!"
I smoothly ignored Ellis and kept talking.
"What if I have 'em fight naked? I could make that happen. If any of you knights have libidos stronger than your knightly honor, raise your hand."
No one raised a hand.
It was the obvious play. Raising a hand here would make it look like you were actually interested in the 'women's bodies.'
"None? Then I'll send the women off. You can do whatever you want with us if you beat me anyway. Not that it'll ever happen. What're you waiting for, Ellis? Take the girls and go."
I gave Ellis's ass a couple light pats.
She had some sense this time—no over-the-top squeal.
Though her face still turned beet red.
Two knights stepped aside, opening an exit in the armored barricade. Elbalom's executives bolted out, Dodo included.
Ellis paused for a moment.
"Go, Master! If you win, I'll give you a kiss!"
She shouted.
Suddenly, I felt like throwing the fight.
Gripping the two Witch's Curses in my hands, I felt their cold touch and asked.
"You saw your boss go down that easy, and you're still charging in? What, you think the heavens are watching your loyalty?"
The burliest knight among those left slowly removed his helmet.
Now I saw it: a scarred old knight with white hair and a beard.
"...How'd you get so old? Armor doesn't weigh you down?"
Attacking his age was about the shittiest taunt possible, but the old knight kept a straight face.
"We are all Kalliman. There's no such thing as a 'boss'."
"Got it. But you're all about the same level anyway."
"Hardly. The one we just lost was the most useless fighter among us."
"And what are you?"
"You'll find out soon enough."
The Kalliman pack tightened their encirclement. It was almost laughable.
"...Is ganging up part of knightly honor too? Knights I know wouldn't stoop that low."
"No need for honor against small fry."
"Small fry? You guys got these?"
I dangled the two Witch's Curses in front of them.
One pistol. One hammer. Items rare enough that seeing even one was a big deal—and now I held both.
"I thought only Dnia had Witch's Curses. Balrog doesn't have shit like this. And I'm small fry?"
The helmetless Kalliman's eyes turned deadly serious.
"I hoped it wasn't... but those really are Witch's Curses. Put them down, kid. Those aren't toys for you."
"They're perfect for me. I've handled 'em for years."
"Guess we'll start by chopping off that wrist."
That was the cue. Knights charged from all sides.
It's been a while since I took on a crowd like this.
Old memories surfaced. I focused purely on evasion. Life-or-death scraps were always thrillingly dangerous.
"Die!"
I sidestepped the charging knight's sword with ease.
The body is honest—even here, the phrase fit. No matter how dirty their tricks, a knight's strikes were straightforward.
Straight lines only—no curves.
Honestly, it was harder to let myself get hit by this crap.
-If you win, I'll kiss you!
...Should I just lose? I seriously pondered it for a second.
"You guys are weak."
"What'd you say?!"
Couldn't see his face under the helmet, but it was probably flushed red.
"For real. Pathetic."
Fighting spirit meant nothing without the skills to back it up.
One strike, two, three—countless slashes, and not a single hair on my head was touched. I could feel the knights growing frantic.
The old knight's face was frozen like ice.
"What the hell are you?"
"Small fry. Kid."
"Dnia's Queen send you? Explains the Witch's Curses."
"Ask her yourself. Not hard."
His eyes flickered.
"And you're talking down to Dnia's Queen... You from Blackjack?"
Now he was twisting even my taunts to fit his delusions. Weaklings always hunted for excuses.
"You're just losing to small fry. No need for excuses."
"Bullshit! No one stays this calm against us!"
Whoosh, swoosh.
I kept dodging the wild swings effortlessly.
These guys had only fought weaker foes. Sparring was just internal matches.
That bred frogs in a well like these.
"No one's as cowardly as you. You wear armor not 'cause you're strong, but to hide. Think Dnia gives a damn who's inside? You're expendable. Defective junk, at that."
"Wha... t...?!"
The attacking knights growled, but their movements slowed.
Cheers from Elbalom's executives echoed from the mansion windows.
Morale boost for me—pure mockery for the knights. Their swings slowed noticeably, minds rattled.
"...Enough taunting. If you want the bodies intact."
Some pride left, huh. I laughed in disbelief.
"Knights, ever seen Balrog's face? Or body? Dnia's three knights are such cowards, they hardly ever take off their armor."
"None of your business!"
I slipped past a vertical slash. Guess not.
"Peel off a helmet sometime. Or drop the pants and check the ass. Dnia loves cricket, right? Bet it's bruised black from bat swings."
"You bastard!"
The old knight's eyes looked ready to burst veins.
Horizontal slash this time. I leaped high over it, not missing a beat midair.
"Hard to believe, but that's reality. You wanted your lord to be some badass? So you'd feel badass too? Dream on."
Then—
Krunch!
A wide horizontal swing hit the carriage. The door shattered with a crash.
Rumble—
"......?"
Something black poured out from the broken door. A familiar sting in my nose: gunpowder.
"...Well, aren't you clever."
They'd turned the whole carriage into a bomb to blow the mansion sky-high. No negotiation from the start.
That 'precious carriage' bullshit was all smoke too.
Everything a lie. Now it clicked why they'd brought a steel carriage.
...Ellis, how far did you see this coming?
"Ellis—!"
I bellowed her name. Reply came instantly.
-Yes, Master! I'm listening!
"Good girl. I'll grope that ass later!"
-H-huh?! Heeeuuugh...
-For real! Diaper this girl from now on!
Clang! Clang! Clang!
I battered incoming strikes with the hammer. No more talking—these weren't the dialoguing type.
I landed, creating distance, then channeled mana into Trivi and spat.
"Fake knights. Time I taught you real knightly honor."
Raised Trivi, marking targets.
Armor was thick, but joints had gaps. Aim true and fire.
"Respect and protect the weak. Ever heard that?"
Trivi heated up. Weird—new sensation.
"I can respect the weak. Even scaredy-cats. But."
Bang!
First shot fired.
"No respect for the vile. Fuck off, you bomb-terrorist shits. No negotiating with scum."
Whoosh!
Blue mana bullet tore air, then took on something extra.
Red mana. Familiar circuit.
...Explosion formula? Confirmed. Bullet loaded with blast magic.
Right, the Restoration Stigma copies abilities!
I hadn't overlooked it, but hadn't thought it'd affect bullets too.
Thud!
Blood-red bullet pierced the old knight's forehead in a blaze, then streaked straight—
"Ah..."
—slamming into the powder-packed carriage.
BOOOOOOM!
Boom! KABOOM! Boom! BWOOOM!
Eardrum-shattering blasts followed.
"Oh..."
Gunpowder detonated perfectly, shredding knights to chunks. Flower bed? Obliterated.
I was fine, luckily.
- Knights obliterated
Flower bed: Total loss
-Aaaah! What the hell are you doing?!
Tyr's scream faintly reached me.
"...Not easy."
Gardening flower beds. Yeah... not easy at all.