Perhaps, Midterms (3)
Perhaps, Midterms (3)
I walked, feeling both a strange excitement and the discomfort of sitting on a bed of nails at the same time.
On my left was Jin-hyeok. On my right was the neighbor who lived upstairs from him... Yoon Seo-ah.
That eonni and Jin-hyeok's conversation flowed as naturally as water.
Casual banter and playful tiki-taka passed back and forth without any reservation.
I bit my lip hard.
It was such a contrast to myself, who had to think dozens of times just to say one word to Jin-hyeok.
"...I'm jealous."
And on top of that, the place we were heading to was a PC Bang. Ever since I entered high school, I had cut off ties with games because of my studies.
I only turned on the computer for performance assessments; my memories of going to play games were hazy.
"Rel, huh..."
I'd heard the name. But I'd never played it.
All I could do was a game of popping water balloons—how could I possibly keep up with a game that was said to be so complex and fierce?
What if I was treated like dead weight for being bad? My head was full of worry.
Most of all, what bothered me was that eonni. What kind of relationship were they in to be so close? A strange sense of alienation pricked at a corner of my heart.
Just then, Jin-hyeok suddenly spoke to me.
"Ah, right. Ga-young-ah."
"Uh, yeah?"
Startled, I lifted my head. Jin-hyeok checked our surroundings for a moment, then lowered his voice.
"It's not like I'm trying to gossip or anything, I'm just curious."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"That guy Hyun-woo, when did he start dating his girlfriend?"
Ah. So it was about Park Hyun-woo.
I searched my memory for a moment.
"Hmm... About a month ago?"
"A month? Hey, he didn't even tell me from the start..."
Jin-hyeok made a face as if he felt betrayed.
"My friends... Yuna, Minji, and So-young... they kept begging me to set up a blind date because they said Hyun-woo was good-looking... So the four of us met, and it seems they hit it off that very day and decided to date."
I simply stated the facts calmly. But my heart wasn't so peaceful.
'Already a month...'
Actually, in school, the first one to approach Jin-hyeok and take a liking to him was me, myself.
But in the end, my friends had made boyfriends in the blink of an eye, like roasting beans over a lightning flash, and left me behind. I was the one who started first, yet I was the only one still in place.
'But still... should I call it fortunate?'
At the start of the semester, my friends had been desperately looking for partners with fire in their eyes, but it was a huge relief that they chose Hyun-woo instead of Jin-hyeok. Thanks to that, the most threatening competitors disappeared.
Lately, the atmosphere in the department had changed too—girls were hitting it off and becoming couples, so the jealousy toward Jin-hyeok had decreased a lot compared to before. The reduced competition was clearly good news.
And yet.
'Why isn't there any progress between us?'
Was he oblivious, or did he know but deliberately draw a line and ignore me? We sometimes ate together and asked about assignments, and I thought we'd gotten pretty close. Could it be that I was the only one mistaking it for a "spark" and drinking kimchi soup alone?
'What if he has a girlfriend somewhere else...'
Just as the anxiety began to creep up, Jin-hyeok's eyes went wide and he asked back.
"Huh? You set Hyun-woo up on a blind date? And he actually went?"
"Huh? Uh, yeah... The girls kept begging..."
"Wow... Look at this guy. He acted all innocent and pure, but behind the scenes, he goes on a three-to-one group date?"
Jin-hyeok let out a disbelieving laugh, then shook his head.
"I only found out about his relationship very recently. What a betrayal."
"...What?"
I almost stopped walking. What did he just say?
"You found out recently? Hyun-woo has been wearing a couple ring with his girlfriend for over a month now!"
"Ah, that? I only realized that was a couple ring very recently..."
Jin-hyeok pouted his lips as if wronged. And the excuse that followed far exceeded my imagination.
"No... I thought he caught some "Hongdae disease" and was wearing a stationery gacha ring..."
"..."
Wow. Under the lecture room lights, that silver ring was so shiny, and he mistook it for a stationery ring? Even while sitting next to him every single day?
In that instant, the anxiety that had filled my head turned into a strange relief along with absurdity.
'Ah... So he's not an iron wall.'
This is just him being oblivious. And seriously so.
As I let out a hollow laugh at the sheer absurdity, our group had already arrived in front of our destination, the PC Bang.
"Let's go in."
Jin-hyeok opened the door familiarly and led the way. The moment I stepped inside, the first thing I felt was the darkness, like night even though it was daytime.
'It's dark...'
Only the dazzling LED lights of all colors and the glow from the monitors filled the space. It was like the back alleys of a cyberpunk movie.
To my eyes, which were only used to the sharp white fluorescent lights of the school library, everything felt unfamiliar and oppressive.
I shuffled hesitantly and followed behind Jin-hyeok. But as soon as I entered, I faced another obstacle.
'How... do I pay?'
Right now, there was no staff at the counter; only one large machine sat there alone. It was a kiosk.
I rolled my eyes.
'The place I went to in high school was postpaid... Is this prepaid? Or do I have to sign up first?'
Some places you pay at your seat, some use a machine. Since each PC Bang has a different system, for someone who had been living disconnected from civilization, it was quite confusing.
While I was hesitating, Jin-hyeok noticed me and walked over casually.
"Ah, first time here? You can play as a non-member without signing up."
He naturally touched the kiosk screen and added an explanation.
"I'll put some time in with my ID for now. You can pay me back later."
"Ah... th, thank you!"
I nodded, feeling my cheeks burn. It was a small gesture of consideration, but the fact that I now owed him a debt felt oddly pleasant.
Just then.
"Hey, look over there. A guy."
"Should we go ask for his number? If he's alone..."
"Ah... who's next to him? His girlfriend? Ugh, annoying..."
The gazes of the other women inside the PC Bang were fixed on Jin-hyeok. Subtle whispers spread through the space that had been full of mouse clicks.
I instinctively pressed myself closer to Jin-hyeok's side. As if showing off with my whole body that this man was with me.
"Here, let's sit here."
We sat side by side in a three-seat corner spot.
'Wow...'
My eyes widened.
The monitor in front of me was as big as the TV at home. And it was even curved.
'When I went before, it wasn't like this...'
I turned on the computer, and the system booted up with a flashy logo.
Everything was unfamiliar and fascinating.
"Ga-young-ah, do you have a Rel account?"
Jin-hyeok asked, hanging a headset around his neck.
"No... I don't."
"Well, then you need to sign up first. While you do that, me and noona will play a round. Take your time."
"Uh, okay!"
I placed my hands on the keyboard with a determined expression.
Alright, first, make an account. Shin Ga-young, you can do it!
.
.
.
After several failed identity verifications and password resets, I somehow managed to create an account.
"Phew... done."
It took longer than I thought, but I did it. I'm a civilized person now. Good job, Shin Ga-young.
Feeling proud, I turned my head, and the two in the seats next to me had already logged out of reality and gone to the canyon.
On the monitor screen, colorful characters were running around frantically.
'So that's the famous Rel...'
That game my friends in middle and high school used to bet on and play with their lives after school. I inwardly wondered what was so fun that everyone went crazy for it, and the moment I looked at the monitor—
I saw it.
That shocking transformation of the eonni who earlier in the hallway had been dragging her slippers with an expression of total boredom and indifference.
Now, a berserker was sitting to my right.
That eonni... Yoon Seo-ah was sticking her neck out like a turtle, leaning her face into the monitor as if being sucked in. Her unfocused pupils were nowhere to be seen; her eyes were filled with murderous intent.
Tadak, tadadadak.
Her fingers flying across the keyboard were so flashy that even a pianist would step aside.
Looking at the screen, the character she was controlling was a weird dwarf with an eyepatch over one eye. And it was riding some stupid-looking lizard; just by its appearance, it looked like a total psycho.
On the other side, Jin-hyeok's hands also got busy.
Tadadadak!
I peeked at the chat window at the bottom of Jin-hyeok's screen.
[ I'm Nice (Rascal Yordle) : If you go in there ]
[ I'm Nice (Rascal Yordle) : you'll die ]
[ TimundoNaeGyehoek (Terror Father) : Why go ]
[ TimundoNaeGyehoek (Terror Father) : Why go ]
[ TimundoNaeGyehoek (Terror Father) : Why go ]
Jin-hyeok urgently pinged "retreat", but Yoon Seo-ah's typing speed was faster.
[ I'm Nice (Rascal Yordle) : Knowing that and still fighting ]
[ I'm Nice (Rascal Yordle) : that's the top ]
That was when.
The character on screen let out a scream of "Full chargeeeek!!!" and started charging straight into the middle of the enemy lines.
At the same time, Yoon Seo-ah slammed her fist on the desk and roared.
"Let's goooo───!!!"
Her hoarse shouting hit my eardrums. I flinched and shrugged my shoulders.
Kkwaang-!
With the loud noise, Yoon Seo-ah's monitor screen turned black and white.
[ Player 'I'm Nice' has been subdued! ]
It was instantaneous. She had died less than three seconds after screaming.
"Ah, shit! Noona, what are you doing? I told you not to go in!"
Jin-hyeok grabbed his headset mic and frowned. It was completely different from his usual indifferent demeanor.
But Yoon Seo-ah was calm.
"Sorry. Brake malfunction."
"Ugh, seriously..."
The two bickered while moving their mice without a break. The clatter of the keyboards rang out noisily.
I watched the scene with my mouth shut.
Characters on screen tangled and fought, while unknown terms were exchanged next to me.
After a long back-and-forth, a blue crystal burst in the center of the screen, and huge letters appeared.
[ Victory ]
"Nice. The bus ride is smooth."
That eonni, who had been yelling just a moment ago, leaned back in her chair with a relaxed expression, as if nothing had happened.
Jin-hyeok also let out a deep sigh, took off his headset, and hung it around his neck.
"Phew..."
As the game ended, the surroundings became quiet, as if by magic.
I stared blankly at the two alternately.
They looked like comrades who had just come back from the battlefield, drenched in sweat.
It felt strange, as if there was a common ground between them that I didn't know about.
Just then, Jin-hyeok, who was catching his breath, casually turned his head and met my eyes.
He saw me staring blankly and asked, as if my gaze was odd.
"...Why are you staring like that?"
"Huh?"
I snapped back to reality.
"Ah, no... just amazed. The game is really... intense."
"Ah, sorry. Did you wait long?"
Jin-hyeok scratched the back of his head awkwardly. I looked at the clock; over thirty minutes had passed.
"Time got away from us. Did you finish making your account?"
"Yeah, just finished."
"Good. What's your ID? I'll invite you."
In response to Jin-hyeok's question, I carefully spoke the nickname I had just made.
"Uh... 'OurHouseCatGeneral'."
"......?"
"Well, our cat's name is General..."
I added in a shrinking voice, feeling my face heat up. Because I made it in a hurry and had nothing in particular in mind, I had just slapped on the name of the cat I raise at my parents' house.
Jin-hyeok chuckled and typed on his keyboard.
"Cute. Give me a sec."
Tadak, tadak.
Soon, a cheerful sound effect of 'ttiring-' and an invitation window popped up in the center of my monitor.
[ Player 'TimundoNaeGyehoek' has invited you to a game. ]
I pressed the accept button, and the screen switched to the waiting room.
Three IDs appeared side by side on the screen.
[ TimundoNaeGyehoek ]
[ I'm Nice ]
And among those fierce veteran players, one name that looked so harmless and peaceful:
[ OurHouseCatGeneral ]
Jin-hyeok clicked his mouse and set the mode.
"Since it's your first time, let's start with practice mode against AI. It's called a bot match..."
Just then, Yoon Seo-ah yawned and cut in.
"Aish, no fun. Bot match? Who does that? A girl should go straight to real combat. Just queue for a normal game."
"Have you lost your mind, noona? Ga-young said it's her first time playing Rel. Why make her go get cursed out?"
"You grow by getting cursed out a bit. I grew up hearing all kinds of cusses too."
"Don't be so harsh with early education. You'll make the kid cry."
Jin-hyeok firmly shook his head and finished the settings.
"Ga-young-ah, for now, you play a ranged dealer. You just shoot from behind; it should be manageable."
"Uh... okay. Got it."
I gripped the mouse nervously. And as Jin-hyeok pointed, I selected a red-haired female character holding two guns.
"Ready? Let's start."
The match start button was pressed.
I gulped. Jin-hyeok's calm voice coming from next to me was somewhat comforting.
"If you don't know, just follow me. I'll tell you everything."
"......Okay."
I nodded and stared at the monitor.
Somehow, I felt it was a good decision to come to the PC Bang today.
.
.
.
After getting a feel for it through bot matches, we boldly played some normal games too.
The result was disastrous.
My screen was black and white more often than not.
But Jin-hyeok didn't get annoyed even once. Rather, every time I died, he comforted me, saying, "It's okay, the opponent just did well."
A couple of hours must have passed. By the time all the games were over, it was already dark outside.
"Ah, it's already this late."
Jin-hyeok stretched and stood up. I fumbled to pack my bag while checking his mood.
"I'm sorry. Because of me, you couldn't even play properly..."
"What are you talking about? I had fun too. You've got good instincts for a beginner. You'll get better later."
Even if it was just a polite lie, I was grateful. He must have wasted all his time adjusting to my level, but he didn't even act like he was doing me a favor.
It's rare for a guy to be this considerate. No, even sitting side by side with a guy enjoying a PC Bang date itself was not a common experience.
A mix of guilt, gratitude, and an unfamiliar excitement crossed through me.
It was the moment we finished paying and stepped out of the PC Bang.
From the part-timer at the counter to the people sitting near the entrance, eyes that glanced our way were blatantly fixed on us.
'Wow, they came with a guy... so jealous.'
'I want to join too...'
Even without hearing, I could tell what they were saying.
Just because we were walking side by side, my skin felt prickly, but the person in question, Jin-hyeok, walked with an indifferent expression as if used to it.
As we came out of the building, the night air was quite chilly.
"Well, I'll head off. See you in class next week."
Jin-hyeok waved his hand lightly.
"Yeah... Jin-hyeok-ah, go safely."
But Jin-hyeok wasn't alone. Naturally, that eonni followed beside him.
"Hey, let's go together."
'Yoon Seo-ah...'
The name I had learned today when we exchanged names in the school hallway.
And they said they lived in the same officetel, even upstairs and downstairs.
I stood there blankly, watching the two walk away.
"..."
A corner of my chest ached.
The joy of having been with Jin-hyeok all day was gone, and a strange sense of defeat from the last scene washed over me.
Those two seemed too natural together than I expected.
Still, from today, I gained a bit of certainty.
That Jin-hyeok isn't putting up a wall against me. I was just too careful.
At the same time, a cold sense of crisis ran down my spine. If I leave a guy like that defenseless? Someone will definitely snatch him away.
'Just look at Hyun-woo.'
Hyun-woo, whom I had introduced to my friends recently. Even that timid guy who couldn't even meet a girl's eyes had become a sold-out man in no time.
My friends who got introduced were so aggressive. They practically snatched up the bewildered Hyun-woo like wrapping a kimbap, and even bought me a meal to thank me.
Let alone Jin-hyeok, who is in much better condition than Hyun-woo.
Right now, it's fortunate that Jin-hyeok's surroundings are quiet, but this is no different from the calm before the storm. If someone sets their mind to it, it's only a matter of time before they snatch him away.
Of course, in a world where men are absolutely scarce, it's an era where it's taken for granted that one capable man dates multiple women...
'But still, I hope I'm the first.'
Even if it's greed, I don't want to give up that starting spot.
Of course I know. Not everything in the world goes as I wish. Maybe even this resolve will be powerless before a mischievous fate.
But I'm already chasing him with my eyes, so it's too late to back away out of fear.
'What should I do. I'm scared of being rejected if I make a move, but I hate losing him without doing anything even more.'
For me, who has always lived by thorough plans, it was an unsolvable dilemma.
But there was no more time to hesitate. While I was hesitating, Seo-ah eonni, or maybe someone else, would dig into that gap.
'What does Jin-hyeok like?'
Maybe I was just too scared. In this world, men are beings that women flock to even if they just stand still.
Waiting politely will get me nothing.
Just once.
Let's close my eyes and be more blatant.
What I need now isn't a plan, but courage.