Start of Semester (4)
Start of Semester (4)
As soon as I got home, I sprawled out on my bed without even washing up. Staring at the ceiling, I was currently grappling with the most significant dilemma of my life.
'What kind of concept should I adopt at school to graduate without dying?'
Concept-playing. People might scoff at it, calling it some "Dark Flame Dragon" nonsense that only middle or high schoolers do. Originally, I just wanted to live as "myself," being comfortable and treating everyone like family.
But after experiencing the first day of the semester today, I realized it deep in my bones.
If I do that, I'm dead.
If I walk around that defenseless, I'll be ground into dust before I can even pull myself together.
That savage battle of nerves. Those invisible blades hidden behind smiles as they kept each other in check. I have absolutely no confidence in surviving that fray with my sanity intact.
Dating? Even if I concede a hundred times and assume someone actually liked me purely and wanted to go out... I don't have the confidence.
I don't have the capacity to handle that excessive possessiveness and obsession. I can't deal with someone monitoring my every move or losing their mind just because I spoke to another woman.
Then should I act like a Casanova, managing a whole harem of the entire department like those 1st and 2nd-year guys? Hell no, that's crazy. I can't do that either. I don't have the stamina or the guts. Even if I did, they'd just start ranking themselves and fighting in factions... Just thinking about it gives me gastritis.
"...But spending all four years as a complete loner without a single friend is a bit much."
I'm a social animal after all; having no one to talk to would be its own kind of hell.
Women are people too. Right, they're human. Not monsters. But if I approach them and treat them as ordinary 'people'...
They'll treat me as 'prey' to be captured.
It's an ending where I'm the one who ends up exhausted. It's hell if I go this way, and hell if I go that way. There's no dilemma quite like this one.
"Hmm...."
I racked my brain while staring at the ceiling for a long time. Is there no clever move to break through this crisis?
Then, suddenly, a brilliant idea flashed through my mind.
"Ah! Right, that's it."
Mysticism. Adopting a concept of groundless, absolute mysticism.
Reducing my words, hiding my expressions, and veiling my private life. Then women won't be able to approach me recklessly, and I can maintain my dignity loftily.
Of course, my conscience pricked me. I had already pulled that crazy stunt at the pub during OT, giving out nonsense quizzes and running away. Any sense of 'mystery' in my image had long since flown to the other side of the galaxy. Being called 'Pub Rabbit Man' while trying to be mysterious—even a passing dog would laugh.
"...But what else can I do?"
It's do or die. I just have to insist on it.
If I keep my mouth shut and act heavy from now on, who knows? Maybe that day's eccentricity will be packaged as the 'bizarre behavior of a genius' or 'performance art.' This is a world where people are wearing some seriously thick rose-tinted glasses, after all.
"Yeah. It's decided."
From now on, I am a Dark Templar. No one shall hear my voice.
I looked in the mirror and marveled at my own shamelessness. I'd need to cover my face a bit to set the mood.
"Should I try wearing a mask?"
No. A gas mask? ...That's just retarded. It's the perfect way to be treated like an attention seeker. Let's just go with a plain black mask. I might look like I have 'celebrity disease,' but it's better than my face being exposed.
I checked tomorrow's timetable.
Period 3: Sex and Love: Exploration of Male and Female Culture (Liberal Arts)
The name of the liberal arts class was quite something. The problem was that the Shield (Hyun-woo) wasn't in this class. I had signed up for it alone. In the end, I'd have to break through that carnage by myself tomorrow.
"As expected, changing jobs to a Dark Templar is the only answer."
As I was steeling my resolve, a notification popped up at the top of my smartphone.
[Shin Ga-young (Class Rep)]
: (General Announcement) Delivering an urgent notice from the President's office. Please read.
: [ 📢 To all freshmen, we welcome you as you begin this hopeful new semester. While healthy interaction between students is highly encouraged, we earnestly request that you refrain from actions that cause excessive interest or psychological burden to other students. - President Ok Yu-ju - ]
I burst into a hollow laugh as soon as I read the content.
"...Ha."
To translate: 'Don't startle our school's natural monuments.' But isn't the speaker just too hilarious?
The President.
Is this person senile? During OT, she was the one who made the male students stand up in front of the entire school and performed the first public execution by saying, "Look here! These are our school's treasures!"...
She's the one who set the fire, and now she's putting on a show of spraying a fire extinguisher. It's the perfect example of giving the disease and then the medicine.
"...It's a total comedy."
I clicked my tongue and closed the chat. While I was at it, I checked other rooms. There were messages from my family too. I had missed them while napping earlier.
[Omma]
: Son, be careful at school. Don't follow any strange people.
[Seol Ji-hye]
: Oppa, I'm going to school!
: What time does your class end?
: Come home early and make sure the door is locked!
The content was consistent. Be careful, come home early. I guess this is the basic etiquette for women in this world.
I was too lazy to type, so I replied with a copy-paste.
[Me]
: K
Sent. It's a hassle to give a long response to everything.
"I should make a family group chat later."
I'll just report my survival all at once and get it over with.
.
.
.
The next morning.
I opened the classroom door with grim determination. 30 minutes before class started. Fortunately, the classroom was empty.
I walked quietly and took a seat in the very back corner. And just like yesterday, I plopped my bag down on the empty seat next to me. No-entry zone established.
I pulled my black hat down low and pulled my black mask up to the bridge of my nose. I put in my earphones and even pulled up my hoodie.
"Perfect."
Right now, I am a Dark Knight.
Not a dangerous assassin going around taking enemies' heads. I'm a pacifist Dark Knight tucked away in a corner with permanent stealth on, cutting off all connection with the world.
No one can talk to me. It's as if I'm not even here. I'm an invisible man.
"...I look like a bit of a loser."
I didn't even look in a mirror, but I could imagine what I looked like. A grown-up university student huddled in a corner with a hoodie on, mumbling to himself.
Whatever. Let's just try it for today. If it works, I'll keep doing it; if not... well, I'll think about it then.
As time passed, the hallway became noisy.
Deureureuk.
The door opened, and students flooded in. The atmosphere was definitely different from the major classes. Female students wearing various department jackets were mixed together. Humanities, Education, Arts and Sports... female students from all sorts of departments gathered for this class.
And as expected.
There were no men.
Not a single one. Out of the 100 or so students filling the large tiered lecture hall, I was the only creature with a dick, tucked away in that corner.
'...There's no Shield.'
It was a moment where I missed Hyun-woo's back. Actually, I had a hunch.
Because yesterday, I had braved the embarrassment to ask in the [Hoyeon University Male Student Association] chat room.
[Me: Sunbae-nims, is anyone taking 'Sex and Love' during the 3rd period tomorrow?]
The reaction was disastrous.
[Batch of '18 Lee Young-ho: ? You signed up for that?]
[Batch of '19 Park Jun-young: Wow... they do give out grades generously there, but... never mind. Good luck.]
[Batch of '17 Jin Do-yoon (President): Come back alive. A moment of silence.]
The conclusion was one. No one was taking it. Out of 102 male students, I was the only crazy bastard taking that class.
'...I'm screwed.'
I pulled my hat down even further and buried myself as deep as possible into the chair. Please, let the professor just call attendance and be done with it. If they make us do self-introductions, I'm going to break the window with a Blink and run away.
Maybe it was because I was radiating an aura of 'don't talk to me' with my whole body. Or maybe the 'refrain from approaching' notice the President sent out yesterday actually worked.
The female students glanced at me and whispered, but none dared to speak to me.
'Oh... it's working?'
Honestly, it was a bit sad, but for the time being, I should stick to this mysticism concept and get a feel for the atmosphere. If I can just stay shriveled up like an invisible man and leave after class, it'll be perfect. Mysticism might actually be a concept that suits me.
It was then.
Tap, tap.
Someone lightly tapped the corner of my desk.
I reflexively stiffened. What brave soul is this? I slowly raised my head. In front of me, a female student had naturally approached my side.
She was wearing a light cardigan and a skirt that came above her knees. It was still early March and the late-winter cold was biting, yet she was in a skirt with bare legs.
'...Damn, isn't she cold?'
Just looking at her gave me the chills. Did fashion defeat her survival instinct?
"Hi, Jin-hyuk-a. You're taking this class too?"
"......"
"I saw that in our department, it's just you and me taking this."
I furrowed my brows. Who? Our department?
As if reading the question mark in my eyes, she chuckled and introduced herself.
"It's me. Shin Ga-young, the Computer Science Class Rep. We saw each other in the classroom yesterday too."
"......Ah."
Shin Ga-young. As soon as I heard the name, a memory flashed through my mind.
That savage battle of nerves that took place in the classroom yesterday. In that mess, she was the positioning genius who subtly pushed aside other competitors to take a seat.
'...Right. I remember.'
I couldn't greet her properly because I was busy carrying Hyun-woo and running away, but I remembered that perfectly composed expression.
"...Yeah. Hi."
I replied shortly.
"Is it okay if I sit next to you? We're in the same department."
Shin Ga-young asked, gesturing with her eyes toward the bag sitting next to me.
"......"
I fell into a brief dilemma.
What should I do? Should I stick strictly to the mysticism concept and put up a wall by saying "I'd rather you didn't"? But... I felt like it wasn't right to just keep pushing people away like this.
Besides, she's the Class Rep. I might need help with announcements or whatever while attending school, so there's no point in making an enemy for no reason. Isn't it better to keep a proper distance while remaining polite?
I let out a short sigh and moved the bag I had placed in the next seat to the floor.
"...You can sit."
"Thanks."
Shin Ga-young smiled brightly and plopped down next to me. A faint scent of perfume wafted over.
I pulled my hat down low and turned my gaze back to the chalkboard. As indifferently as possible, as if it were nothing. I hypnotized myself into thinking there was only air or dust next to me.
But I couldn't help but be conscious of her. She didn't talk to me, but the presence and gaze I felt from the side were strangely sticky. It felt as if she was staring intently at the side of my face, observing me.
'...I hope my concept didn't break on the very first day I tried to be mysterious.'
Sigh, I don't know. At least she isn't being noisy or annoying, so that's a relief. Being the Class Rep, she seems to have some tact.
I tried my best to ignore the presence in the next seat and stared straight ahead.
A moment later.
Ttap, ttap.
The rhythmic sound of heels echoed from the hallway, and then the front door slid open.
"Hello. I am Shim Sa-rang, and I will be in charge of the Sex and Love lecture."
The person who stepped onto the platform was a female professor wearing a casual blouse and cardigan.
Her overall impression was warm and friendly, like a neighborhood auntie, but the look in her eyes behind her horn-rimmed glasses seemed quite sharp.
The noise in the buzzing classroom was silenced in an instant. The gazes of over 100 female students shifted to the platform, and then occasionally glanced toward me, tucked away in the corner.
I swallowed hard.
[ Sex and Love: Exploration of Male and Female Culture ]
A class with a title that was anything but ordinary. I began to feel a mix of curiosity and fear, wondering how 'sex' and 'love' would be defined and taught in this twisted world.
The professor turned on the beam projector and brought up the first screen. I rested my chin on my hand and looked at the screen indifferently.
Actually, the reason I signed up for this class was simple. Grand academic passion? Nothing like that. I just wanted to learn some of the 'common sense' of this crazy world. Specifically, what the differences between men and women are and what the social perceptions are. I need basic background knowledge to live here without causing trouble.
Besides, looking at the course reviews on the school community, it was full of praise like 'the exams are easy' and 'they give an A+ if you just attend well.' It was what you'd call a "bird course."
In short, it meant I signed up for it to get a free ride without much thought.
'Surely she won't make us do self-introductions.'
There are so many students. There look to be at least 100. If she passes the microphone to each person, the class time will be over. It was certain the bell would ring before it was my turn.
Right. Let's just listen to the lecture quietly like an invisible man and leave. I stared at the screen, praying fervently that my name wouldn't be called.