Dancing with Goblins (9)
Raccoon had drawn his lot with his eyes covered. He opened them and checked the twig in his hand.
"Yessss!!!!!!"
Lucky bastard. He'd pulled the last watch.
Four people stood night watch in a day. Four shifts straight out of hell. The odds of drawing a bad slot were fifty-fifty, and he'd slipped right past them. I was squad leader, so I didn't have to stand one if I didn't feel like it.
Patrasche, the one who'd spoken to me earlier, must have drawn the second watch. He started yelling.
"Fuck!!! I must've rammed every last scrap of my luck into that gambling den yesterday!!!"
Poor bastard. There was no way to describe the second and third watches except horrific. You slept, and it didn't feel like sleep. Your condition shattered, and your mood went to shit along with it.
If it were only camping, and people were simply a little off the next day, everyone would have let it pass without a word. The problem was that we were not out here laughing our way through a picnic. We were marching to kill a goblin lord. Even a fight at a hundred percent offered no guarantee of victory, and we were supposed to fight it in wrecked bodies? Everyone knew that was practically suicide.
Maybe I ought to show a little mercy, as squad leader. Earning points with the squad couldn't hurt.
"Patrasche. I'll take your watch."
"Y-you mean it, boss?"
I'd chewed him out to his face, and now I was standing his watch for him. Was he moved? Tears welled in those huge eyes of his.
"Yeah. I don't sleep much anyway. One night won't touch me."
"Th-thank you!! Sob—and I never even knew you were such a fine man!!!"
I could feel the mood around us shifting at the heartwarming scene.
"Hm. Not bad."
"Even after standing watch, goblins are nothing to him. Is that it?"
"I did hear his skills were decent."
While everyone else floundered in a boiling pot of emotion, Raccoon leaned in and whispered.
"What's the angle."
"Pure goodwill?"
"Save it. That's about as believable as a vegetarian goblin."
"Why won't this asshole trust me. You wanna die?"
By then screams and cheers were drifting over from the other squads. They must have finished drawing their watches too. I traded signals with the other squad leaders, then gave the order with grave dignity.
"All right. Let's get some sleep, gentlemen."
The squad huddled close around the campfire, and I settled in with them and courted sleep.
Fortunately, the first night passed without trouble. I woke to Raccoon's voice.
"Everybody up—"
Standing watch had left me a little more tired than usual. This much, though, was nothing. I shoveled breakfast down fast, then met with the other squad leaders and the young master to go over the plan. There was nothing for it but to push on toward the deep heart of the forest, so the meeting ended quickly.
"Then, move out!"
We walked all morning, ate lunch, and had only just set off again.
"Kyak. Kyak."
"Kerek. Kerek."
Those shitty goblin noises, and with them green bodies slid into view. They were calling in a steady rhythm as they went. Underlings of the goblin lord, no question. Luck was with us: we were coming in along the right flank of the way they were traveling, so we spotted them first. The instant I confirmed it, I raised my right hand and signaled a halt.
"Goblins."
Four that I could make out. We numbered thirteen, so I expected an easy win. The time-honored tactic—Patrasche and I, the tanks, would hold as the anvil, and the squad would come down like the hammer. I called over Raccoon and the soldier who looked the most senior.
"...Patrasche and I will pull aggro. You surround them."
"Got it."
"Okay."
"Understood."
A simple plan. While the two of us soaked the attacks of four goblins, the adventurers and soldiers would spread to either side and close the circle. Four did feel like we were stretching it. Still, if nobody else crashed the party, I figured we could hold somehow.
Raccoon clapped my shoulder and slipped past on the right.
"Have fun."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Patrasche, I'll take the aggro."
"Got it."
Once I judged the squad had gotten far enough ahead, I drew a deep breath and chambered a single round.
Lion's Roar
"HEY!!!!!! You miserable dog-fucking bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Perhaps my shout had simply been too vast, too overwhelming. Even the squad members advancing to encircle the goblins turned to stare at me. Patrasche was so startled he dropped his shortsword. The goblins spotted me as well and charged in perfect lockstep.
"Get ready, Patrasche."
Patrasche was a poor adventurer. He couldn't afford greaves, and what he carried was a wooden kite shield. I'd come into a bit of money lately, so mine was a round shield—a buckler. Without a word, we agreed to take two each.
"Kyaruk! Kyak!! Kyarararak!!!"
Ridiculous as it was, they seemed eager to advertise that they all belonged to the same outfit. Each had a scrap of cloth tied around one arm, little better than a rag. Their weapons were what they always were. Wooden clubs.
A whoosh—a chilling sound that laid their strength bare. In the blink of an eye the club reached my shield. I locked my grip and took the hit. Clang. It must have struck the iron boss at the center; a numbing buzz shot up my arm and spread.
"Kyak! Kyak! Kyak!"
The two of them took turns pounding the shield. Bang. Bang. Bang. I clenched my teeth and held. Time was on our side anyway. The squad had already taken the goblins' rear and was closing in.
"My! Clubwork! Is! Pathetic!"
I grinned like an asshole and raked them once more. They seemed thrilled to death—they only screamed louder. Of course, it wasn't nearly enough to crack my ironclad guard.
I was feeling optimistic when an uneasy sound came from beside me.
"Ah—ah, oh fuck!!"
For all that his name suggested otherwise, Patrasche seemed short on agility. A goblin circled in from the side, and he couldn't deal with it properly. He was somehow holding one off with his shield. The claws coming in from the right, he never answered. There was a wet punch of impact.
"Gyaaaaaaah—!!!!"
At this rate we might start leaking fighting strength before the fight had properly begun. I had to help him, even if it meant taking the risk.
"God! Damn! You! Can't! Hold! One! Second!"
A club dropped fast from overhead. I caught it and smashed it straight back up. The impact boomed. My wrist stung, but it was inside what I'd allowed for—a slight tweak, at worst. I snapped the shield back and shoved the staggered goblin with everything I had.
"Kya, kyaaaak—!!"
I didn't spare a glance for the one that went down. I sprinted for Patrasche, a heartbeat from taking a club to the skull. Thud. Thud. Two goblins swung in succession, and I turned both clubs aside with shield work that felt possessed.
"Kyaaaaaak—!!!"
When their attacks failed to land, the goblins roared as if enraged.
"B-boss...!"
Just like that, I was holding the aggro of all four. Thank god this wasn't open ground. If all four had hit me at once, I would have died a hundred times out of a hundred. The trees pinched the space and cramped their movement, and only because of that could I hold at all. Eating dirt, of course, was unavoidable. I could roll as much as they liked, so long as I lived.
And in that brief gap, the squad that had turned back came around.
"Hrrragh—!!"
Raccoon's zweihänder drove into the seam between one goblin's neck and shoulder. The blade sank in.
"Gya...ak..."
Longswords tore into the goblins from behind, several of them at once. Caught in a sandwich, they couldn't put up much of a fight. They had no choice but to drop where they stood.
"Good work, squad leader."
A brown-haired adventurer missing one front tooth smiled and offered me his hand.
"Don't mention it."
It wasn't like when we had left Baikal. The eyes turned on me were full of goodwill. Throwing myself into danger to protect one of the squad must have done most of the work. Patrasche, if I exaggerated only a little, looked ready to drip honey from his eyes.
"Thank you, boss!!! When I get back, I swear I'll repay this kindness!!!"
Either way, it felt good. We took a short rest, then pressed on toward the heart of the forest.
"Kyaruk, kyaruk."
A host of goblins stood arrayed before the goblin lord. No goblin before him would ever have achieved a thing like this.
"Kyak, kyak, kyak."
The goblin lord smiled, satisfied. He had barely escaped the Great Forest, and only after a long time settled in this place had he finally built a proper army.
"Ke...kerek..."
That satisfaction did not last. The one he had taken as his adjutant, sharp enough for a goblin, came and reported a gap in the numbers. Eight. They had gone out on patrol and never returned. There had not been a single straggler even during the great march not long ago, and the lord was deeply displeased. He was an exceedingly clever monster, and he grasped the situation at once.
Detestable humans!
Humans had killed them. Of that there was no doubt. This was the army that had driven out even the orcs, the strong of the forest. No one but humans with more gall than sense could have done such a thing. And eight dead meant a large-scale attack was already on its way.
"Kyak!! Kyaruk!! Kyarak!!! Kerek!!!"
So much the better. He had not been able to replace their weapons with finer ones, but an army already ruled by perfect discipline was complete. The hour had only been moved up. The time had come to slaughter every arrogant human and seize that fertile land.
"Kyaaaaaak—!!!"
The lord roared, and the goblins in formation stamped the earth as one and answered with a war cry. Thud. Thud. At a sound that shook the ground itself, every living thing in the forest held its breath. Watching the goblins split into squads and spread in perfect order, the lord was satisfied. Ruled by fear and reverence, this army obeyed his command absolutely. Mere humans could never stop it. Of that he was certain.
He looked upon goblins who, so long as that control did not break, would walk willingly even into hellfire. The goblin lord smiled, well pleased.