The Memory of the Sea

"Hey. Are you asleep?"

"...No."

"Then talk to me. Your director is starting to get sleepy."

"I'm not really in the mood."

"Then sing a song or something."

"*Sigh.* Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I'm sleepy."

"..."

Min Chan-woo stared blankly out the window.

White clouds drifted across the blue sky.

Ten years ago, to a young Min Chan-woo, composing had been as natural as breathing.

He didn't even have to think about it; it just happened.

Looking at the clouds sparked inspiration, and that inspiration instantly transformed into melody and lyrics.

That was how the song Cloud Walk had been born.

Back then, a song would pour out the moment ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠he thought of it.

Just like a fish swimming without having to think about how to move its fins.

Now, Min Chan-woo missed those days with a painful intensity.

He missed his past self, the boy who could look at a cloud and naturally let Cloud Walk unfold.

He couldn't find the way back no matter how hard he tried.

The harder he forced it, the further it slipped away.

Drinking made him feel like he was getting closer for a fleeting moment, but once he sobered up, it vanished like a mirage.

Because of that, at some point, drinking only made him spiral further.

He was growing more terrified by the day.

The anxiety that his old self might never return made every single day an agonizing struggle.

Those moments when a single word could be instantly translated into music now felt like nothing but a dream.

He was slowly, steadily crumbling.

As Min Chan-woo stared blankly out the window, his eyes suddenly went wide.

"Uh? Uh! Uh! Director! Director!"

"Ah! That crazy bastard just cut us off in the tunnel!"

"Whoa! Holy crap!"

"Did you see that? I dodged him!"

"...U-Um, shouldn't we pull over at a rest stop and take a break? I think you just dozed off for a second..."

"No way. We have to hurry! I just know our Cheol-jun is out there in the scorching sun without any sunscreen..."

"Excuse me, but we're going to meet the Grim Reaper before we meet this Cheol-jun kid. And me along with you?"

"My, my. Look at our Chan-woo, turns out he doesn't want to die after all. By the way, you've gotten quite sassy since you got back from the military, haven't you? Maybe you should go on some variety shows. If you want to live, sing me a song. Before I doze off again."

"*Sigh...*"

"Sigh, forget it. Forget it. Your facial acting has improved too. Since you're in a slump anyway, why don't you quit being a singer and try acting? Your visuals are a bit of a problem, but if we touch them up a bit... Ah, we can't make you taller, though."

"..."

"Let's grab some coffee at the next rest stop. Your treat."

"...Fine."

I should have just thrown a tantrum and refused to leave the studio...

Min Chan-woo turned his head back toward the window and let out a deep, heavy sigh.

Hmph. And she said it would be quiet...

Even though they had passed Sokcho, entered Goseong, and driven quite far north, there were still a fair number of people around.

Hyeong-man chose a raw fish restaurant close to the beach.

The beach parking lot was already completely full.

After finishing his negotiations with the restaurant owner—which involved paying a reasonable overnight parking fee and reserving an overpriced, slightly ripped-off set menu—he turned his gaze toward the shore.

He could see Cheol-jun in the distance, who had dashed toward the beach the moment they arrived.

Since he hadn't changed into his swimsuit yet, he was splashing around in his shorts, dipping his feet into the water.

"Haha..."

Hyeong-man scratched his head and walked toward the beach.

Truth be told, it had been a very long time since Hyeong-man had stepped on sand himself.

I'm glad I brought him.

Cheol-jun was running around, splashing and giggling as if nothing in the world could be better.

The seawater was splashing everywhere, and his shorts were already completely soaked.

He figured he would just let the boy play like that for today and change him into dry clothes later.

After renting a parasol, a tube, and a life jacket, Hyeong-man lay back relaxedly on a sunbed.

Sigh...

He had seen Cheol-jun smile plenty of times, but he had never seen him laugh so heartily, completely losing himself in joy.

For some reason, it only made his sense of guilt grow.

Even under the shade, sweat trickled down his face.

*

Cheol-jun was absolutely thrilled.

He had seen the ocean a few times before.

He had been to the port of Donggang near Dandong, and he had seen the horizon from afar in Dalian.

But this was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his first time stepping on the sand with bare feet, and his first time directly dipping his feet into the crashing waves.

The water was also incomparably clearer.

It was incredibly cool, and incredibly fun.

Because the weather was so stiflingly hot, this coolness felt all the more precious.

Overwhelmed with delight, Cheol-jun shivered.

The waves rolled in, rising up to his knees with white foam, before sliding back down.

They swept away the sand between his toes as they retreated.

As he stood still, his feet sank slightly into the wet sand before he even realized it.

It felt as if he was being accepted by the sea.

As if the ocean was slowly, quietly embracing him.

Whoa!

As he wiggled his toes in the sand, another wave rolled in, accepting Cheol-jun just a little bit more.

The seemingly infinite grains of sand, and the even more infinite sea.

And himself, infinitely small before it all.

Cheol-jun looked up and saw the horizon in the far distance.

There was sea beyond that horizon.

And beyond that, and beyond that as well.

Yet, in the end, it looped all the way back to connect with his very feet.

Even a single bubble of foam wetting the top of his foot contained the properties of the entire ocean—its salinity, its temperature, and the principles of its wave mechanics.

The massive entity known as the ocean was, ultimately, the sum of individual water droplets.

It felt similar to when he had first learned about the stars.

Standing before something so unimaginably vast and grand somehow brought him a sense of peace.

It wasn't that he felt diminished; rather, he felt as if he was becoming a part of it.

Cheol-jun's eyes sparkled with excitement.

Infinity...

Infinity wasn't just about moving forward endlessly.

At the same time, it was about returning endlessly.

A wave came.

It left, and then it came back.

It left again, and came back once more.

Watching the waves, Cheol-jun suddenly wondered how long they had been here.

Long before he was born, these waves must have come and gone just like this.

Even after he was gone, they would continue to do so.

There was the wind that created these waves, the temperature differences that created the wind, and the sun that created those temperature differences.

The entire universe was contained within a single wave.

In that case, this wave washing over his legs must have come from the sun too, right?

And he, too, had ultimately come from that very universe.

They said everything on Earth came from the stars.

Because the atoms making up his body were scattered remnants of a star that had exploded somewhere long ago.

In the end, both the sea and he had originated from the same place.

Immortality...

The sea was here billions of years ago, and it was still here now.

Yet the seawater evaporated, fell as rain, and returned to the sea through the rivers.

The sea didn't avoid death; rather, it died a little bit every day to be reborn.

That was why it never grew old and always felt brand new.

Was immortality not about remaining unchanged, but about achieving eternity through constant change?

A cycle?

The constant change of everything was differentiation; the fact that the total sum always remained constant was integration.

The brief, differentiated moments of the waves brushing past his feet gathered together to create the massive integration of this summer day spent with his uncle.

A fleeting instant scatters, but the memories built from those instants remain unchanged, just like the sea.

It's similar to the law of conservation of energy.

Cheol-jun suddenly shook his head.

No, no.

He had promised himself to forget about physics and math for a while, but he had forgotten.

He felt a tiny pebble between his toes.

In the brief moment the wave retreated, Cheol-jun picked it up.

It was a beautifully rounded, smooth pebble.

Cheol-jun placed the pebble on his palm and stared at it intently.

This stone must have been swept back and forth by the waves countless times to become this round.

The sea had been caressing this stone for a very long time.

That meant the memory of the sea was engraved inside this stone.

And now, the memory of the sea was being engraved onto him as well.

The realization that a small child like himself had come from the same place as the sea, and that the sea's memories were being etched into him, gave Cheol-jun a sense of belonging more powerful than any logic in the world.

Cheol-jun looked up and gazed at the horizon once more.

It looked exactly the same as it had moments ago.

Yet, in essence, it was a different horizon.

Because the waves had come and gone several more times.

Because he had been soaked and dried once more.

Because the memory of his presence had been added to it.

In that way, Cheol-jun became one with the sea.

Splash. Splash.

Without even realizing that his ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠underwear was completely soaked, he laughed joyfully and played with the sea.

*

Hyeong-man chuckled and hung up the phone.

I didn't think she'd actually come, but she really did.

"Oof."

He pushed himself up from the sunbed with a grunt.

Then, carrying the life jacket and the tube, he walked toward Cheol-jun.

The kid was truly, mindlessly bright.

His shorts and underwear were already completely soaked, and he was running around chasing the waves in the shallow water.

He really is just a kid...

Even with a brilliant mind that had astonished the entire world with mathematics, he became completely innocent and carefree before the ocean.

Watching him like this brought Hyeong-man a strange sense of relief.

While it was great that he was extraordinary, Hyeong-man also hoped he could be just a little bit normal alongside his genius.

"Cheol-jun!"

He didn't seem to hear.

"Cheol-jun!"

Hyeong-man waved the life jacket and carefully stepped into the incoming waves.

Haha. That's refreshing.

*

"...What?"

"They said we could just park here. I agreed to give them an autograph and take a photo later."

"Haha... They charged me fifty thousand won..."

"And they said we can grill meat in front of the restaurant once the dinner rush is over. They even offered to give us vegetables and stuff for free. We just need to buy charcoal and meat."

"That... bastard of an owner... He told me absolutely not..."

"Are you really comparing yourself to me? Come on. I'm Choi Yeon-mi. A former Hallyu star! I've still got it. If I take off my mask and sunglasses, half the people on this beach will swarm us. Cheol-jun, turn around."

Cheol-jun turned around.

Choi Yeon-mi was meticulously applying sunscreen to his back.

Cheol-jun squirmed and giggled, finding it ticklish.

"Stay still! Oh, honestly. Look at your back! It's already completely red. It's going to sting so much later. I'll have to buy some aloe when we go grocery shopping. Seriously, what were you thinking? You should have put a rash guard on him."

"Haha... What on earth is a rash guard?"

"*Sigh...*"

"Hey, it looks like you've applied enough, but you're still rubbing it in."

"No, I'm not! I have to spread it evenly so it doesn't clump!"

"Haha."

"Alright, Cheol-jun. Your face!"

Cheol-jun shook his head.

"I'll do my face!"

"Let me do it!"

"Hehe. I'll do it myself!"

"..."

With a highly dissatisfied expression, Choi Yeon-mi reluctantly handed the sunscreen over to Cheol-jun.

She had saved his face for last because it was the highlight.

I should have started with his face.

"Thank you!"

After slathering the sunscreen all over his face, Cheol-jun dashed back toward the sea.

Watching his retreating figure, Yeon-mi chuckled.

"Looking at him like that, he really does seem like just an ordinary kid..."

"Right?"

Hyeong-man chuckled as well, then turned his head to look toward the coastal road.

A young man wearing oversized sunglasses was shielding his eyes from the sun, staring out at the sea.

He was the young man who had quickly run back toward the road after briefly greeting them earlier.

"Ah, by the way, who is that fellow over there?"

"You don't know Rian? The kid who sang Cloud Walk back in the day."

"Oh? I know him! That was a great song. Huh, but seeing him out here like this, I didn't recognize him at all. Didn't they say he went to the military?"

"Yeah. He got discharged a year ago. He looks quite different when he's not styled. If he goes out to Hongdae dressed like that, nobody recognizes him because he looks so ordinary. Oppa, just pretend you know him. He's in a slump lately, so he's very sensitive."

"Haha..."

"Honestly, this kid..."

Choi Yeon-mi stood up from the sunbed and turned toward the road.

"Hey! Get over here!"

Rian—real name Min Chan-woo—let out a deep sigh and trudged over.

It was incredibly hot, and he absolutely hated the feeling of hot sand getting trapped between his toes inside his slippers.

"We're going to go grocery shopping, so keep a close eye on him."

"Me?"

"Then do you want to go with this mister instead? I can watch Cheol-jun."

"..."

"I'm sick of long-distance driving and don't want to get behind the wheel anymore. What's it going to be?"

"*Sigh...*"

Hyeong-man stepped closer and offered a thick, meaty hand.

"Ah, Mr. Rian! I'm a big fan, a big fan. Haha. I recognized you right away earlier, but I was just too flustered..."

"Ah... Yes. Nice to meet you."

Min Chan-woo smiled awkwardly and shook Hyeong-man's hand.

The man looked like a gangster, and his hand was incredibly large and solid.

And boy, this mister was a terrible actor.

It was painfully obvious that he was only doing this because the director had forced him to pretend to recognize him.

"Well, I'll leave him in your hands! Just sit comfortably in the shade. There's beer in the cooler, so help yourself."

"...Sure."

Choi Yeon-mi quickly intervened.

"Don't you dare touch any alcohol. Got it?"

"..."

"Watch the kid well. If he looks tired, tell him to come out, rest a bit, and then go back in. Got it?"

"Yes..."

Min Chan-woo let out a heavy sigh and slumped onto the sunbed, while Choi Yeon-mi dragged Hyeong-man—who still looked deeply concerned—toward the parking lot.

"It's fine. He's from the Marines. He's a great swimmer."

"Haha."

"And although he's a bit shy, he's a good kid. He does what he's told. He'll keep his eyes glued to Cheol-jun."

When Hyeong-man reached the road and glanced back, it indeed seemed to be the case.

Without any distractions, Chan-woo's gaze remained fixed firmly on Cheol-jun.

Well, it's not like Cheol-jun is the shy type anyway...

"Let's go. Let's get back quickly and grill some meat."

"Alright."

*

Min Chan-woo quietly watched the child splashing and giggling in the distance.

He wondered what could be so fun about playing all by himself.

The boy was just pure sunshine.

Well, I suppose at that age, you don't have a single worry in the world.

You probably don't think about anything other than having fun.

Must be nice.

Did they say he was in fifth grade?

The song Col-Pop Flavor that he had released before entering the military had taken elementary schools by storm two years ago, so the kid would definitely know him.

He heard that elementary schoolers still looked up and sang that song quite a lot even now.

While a middle-aged man like that mister earlier might not recognize his face, elementary school kids usually recognized him even when he dressed down like this.

The kid didn't seem to recognize him earlier because he had kept his sunglasses on and given a brief greeting, but if he took off his sunglasses later and revealed he was Rian, the kid would probably lose his mind.

After all, he had once been dubbed the "President of Elementary Schoolers."

A chuckle escaped his lips without him realizing it.

Lately, he had been constantly wishing to escape to a place where nobody knew him, but now that someone actually failed to recognize him, he felt a bit disappointed.

Am I really trying to show off to an elementary schooler with a grand reveal?

I've really hit rock bottom...

Min Chan-woo smiled bitterly and kicked at the sand.

*

After some time passed, the boy, exhausted from playing in the water, dashed back to get a drink of water.

Min Chan-woo took off his sunglasses as he welcomed the child.

The boy blinked his round eyes.

Min Chan-woo grinned.

"Surprised? That's right. I'm Rian. The one who sang Col-Pop Flavor."

"Uh..."

The corners of Min Chan-woo's mouth curled up even higher.

The kid seemed utterly dumbfounded.

He really was a cute kid.

As Min Chan-woo stared at him with a grin, the boy tilted his head and parted his lips.

"What's that?"

Min Chan-woo's triumphant smile instantly collapsed.