The Hidden Wound
"Yeah, no. He's sleeping well now. *Sigh*... I told you, he hasn't been like this lately. He was doing so well for a while, and then suddenly... Yeah, his regular checkup isn't for a while, but I'm planning to take him tomorrow. No, his teacher said nothing happened. The teacher was incredibly shocked too. Oh, apparently he met Professor Kim when he went to Seohan University. ... No, Cheol-jun doesn't know yet. Professor Kim purposely didn't mention it. Anyway, Professor Kim said nothing happened either... *Sigh*, I don't know. Maybe he just got nervous in front of all those adults... I told you, that's not it! They set up that meeting themselves without even making a proper appointment. Those bastards, I swear... Professor Kim didn't know. He said he only found out after Cheol-jun arrived. Right, right. The kid was so exhausted he couldn't even wash up or brush his teeth. ... Of course I'm giving him the supplements and vitamins you gave us. He drinks his Ki-Kicker every day too. *Sigh*, maybe I should get him into some sports... Yeah, don't worry too much. Aren't you busy at the agency making that new group? Yeah. I'll call you tomorrow after we consult with the doctor. Talk to you later."
Hyeong-man hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh.
Then, he recalled the homeroom teacher's words.
Sigh...
Hyeong-man lay down on the latex mattress he had laid out in front of Cheol-jun's room.
If he slept in the master bedroom, he might not hear Cheol-jun if the boy had a seizure in the middle of the night. That was why he had been sleeping in the living room lately.
Still, seeing how his back hadn't been aching lately, this mattress actually felt much better than a bed.
A soft nightlight spilled through the crack of the slightly open bedroom door.
Should I tell the doctor a bit more about Cheol-jun tomorrow...?
Even though doctor-patient confidentiality was strictly enforced, he had still felt a bit uneasy and had only given the doctor a vague, watered-down version of the truth.
The doctor's diagnosis that Cheol-jun would gradually get better had been based on that limited information.
Since things had been quiet for a while, Hyeong-man had thought the boy was fine. But this sudden relapse filled him with deep anxiety.
Especially since it had happened outside, not at home.
He really needed to tell the doctor what Cheol-jun had actually gone through.
Only then could they get a proper diagnosis.
Sigh...
Hyeong-man's heavy sigh settled quietly into the dark living room.
Professor Lee Min-ah of the Pediatric Psychiatry Department at Ilseong General Hospital glared at Hyeong-man with an extremely displeased expression.
Hyeong-man flinched as she slammed the medical chart shut with an irritated snap.
Professor Lee pressed her fingers against her temples, taking a moment to compose herself before she spoke.
"I understand. I really do. I know how secretive your line of work is. I've heard it from government-funded psychiatrists from time to time—that treating PTSD in people who worked in your field is the most difficult of all."
Professor Lee furrowed her brow deeply and let out a quiet sigh.
"But Cheol-jun is just a child. You should have explained everything accurately from the very beginning. What if my entire assessment up until now had been completely wrong?"
"Well, that's..."
"Sigh... So, the environment the child grew up in was extremely isolated."
"Yes. From what I've heard, and from what I can gather..."
"Since he had to stay hidden, he must have been in a constant state of anxiety. And we can assume his father was his entire social circle?"
"...Yes."
"His father was Cheol-jun's entire world. And that father was shot and killed right in front of him. The child was hiding under a table, watching the whole thing happen all by himself."
"..."
"Just think about it. How would you feel if you were in his shoes?"
"Sigh..."
Professor Lee shook her head.
"We call them profoundly gifted, or high-functioning gifted. We don't throw the word 'genius' around lightly, but it's a similar concept. Children like him have astonishingly vivid memories. Some can recall their infancy perfectly. Cheol-jun probably remembers that day as if it happened yesterday. On top of that, profoundly gifted children have highly hypersensitive senses. The psychological impact on them is several times greater than it would be for a normal child. It's on a completely different level from what we can even imagine."
"But... he doesn't usually show any signs of it..."
"That is the biggest problem. It means his psychological defense mechanisms have become incredibly rigid. Which makes it just as hard to draw out and treat. When he's conscious, he controls it remarkably well, but when he falls asleep or is otherwise vulnerable, it explodes with tremendous backlash. In severe cases, it can lead to profound depression, self-harm, or even extreme attempts on their own life."
Hyeong-man closed his eyes tightly.
He had thought the boy was doing just fine, but to think he was rotting away like this on the inside...
"You said Cheol-jun gets along well with his friends, right? And that he even goes out of his way to help them?"
"Yes..."
"Gifted children under extreme psychological stress often exhibit this behavior. It's a phenomenon where they focus intensely on other people's emotions to avoid looking at their own inner selves. That's why, despite being highly gifted, he unusually appears to have excellent interpersonal relationships."
"So... does that mean he has high empathy?"
Professor Lee shook her head.
"No. I have to be careful here, but I would call it outstanding observation and analytical skills rather than empathy."
"Ah..."
"He is trying to find joy and happiness in other people's emotions, seeking vicarious satisfaction through them because his own inner feelings are locked away tight."
"..."
"Because you didn't tell me the truth about his past, everything I previously diagnosed as 'fine' has turned out to be anything but."
"I... I'm sorry."
Professor Lee tapped her index finger against the chart.
The sound made Hyeong-man shrink back even further.
"Forcing that trauma to the surface right now could be dangerous."
"Then what should we do?"
"First, we need to alleviate the symptoms. He needs clear external rewards so his consciousness doesn't turn inward."
"..."
"Normally, eleven-year-old gifted children satisfy their various emotional deficits by actively showing off. The desire for recognition is hardwired into human nature. Entering competitions, winning awards, and receiving praise from others—this sequence of rewards and achievements will help him focus on the present rather than the past."
Professor Lee paused to catch her breath before continuing.
"If he doesn't just enjoy doing things in private but also receives clear recognition from others, his reward pathway will function properly. For now, it's best to create an environment where he can immerse himself in his current self. Trauma therapy should come after that."
"So you're saying I should have him enter competitions?"
"Yes. But you must not push him too hard, nor should you force him to do anything. This is the tricky part—you have to gently guide him so that he naturally wants to do it of his own accord."
"Sigh..."
"I will look up foreign research papers and case studies regarding trauma in profoundly gifted children. You, as his guardian, please help with the environmental aspect."
"Competitions..."
"He definitely has a desire for recognition. In fact, though he hasn't shown it outwardly, it's probably much stronger than an average person's. Once he experiences winning an award and being congratulated by people, his true nature will naturally emerge. From what I've seen, Cheol-jun will find it incredibly exciting."
Hyeong-man furrowed his brow.
From what he had seen, Cheol-jun didn't seem to care all that much about being recognized...
But he nodded anyway.
Since the doctor said it was the only way.
"Yes... I understand."
"And then! When I started writing out the formulas, all the university professors crowded around me! Just to get a closer look at what I was writing! I originally went there to ask them questions, but they kept asking me questions instead! And every time I answered, they all went, 'Whoa!' It made me feel so good! But then, when I played the piano, they didn't really react at first, so I felt a little down. But then! The music professors went, 'Whoa!' too! I can't even tell you how happy that made me..."
Hyeong-man blinked as he gripped the steering wheel.
He had no idea the kid had been this thrilled about getting recognized by those professors.
I guess she really is an expert...
The doctor's words had been spot on.
Cheol-jun did have a massive craving for recognition.
"Oh! But you know what? One of the music teachers there was looking at me weirdly."
"...Huh?"
"He wore glasses, and his eyes made me feel like he already knew me. But it was my first time ever seeing him."
"..."
"But when I thought about it, I remembered someone Dad used to talk about. He said the guy was an amazing pianist and taught at a university in Korea..."
"Ah... really?"
"He said he was a huge crybaby who complained constantly and was incredibly sensitive..."
"Haha..."
"Dad apparently saved his life once. They lived together for about a month, and Dad said he whined so much it drove him crazy..."
Hyeong-man let out an involuntary chuckle.
Cheol-jun grinned.
"It's him, right?"
"Yeah. That's him."
"His name is Kim Seong-chul!"
"Haha. You even remember his name?"
"Yes! I know all of Dad's acquaintances!"
"Why didn't you say anything yesterday then?"
"The vibe made it seem like he was pretending not to know me on purpose..."
"Haha..."
Hyeong-man stole a glance at Cheol-jun's face.
It was a relief.
The boy had struggled so much yesterday, but now there wasn't a single trace of it left on his face.
Yet, knowing that this cheerful facade was actually that incredibly rigid defense mechanism the doctor mentioned, he couldn't help but worry.
"So, did you like it when the university professors praised you?"
"Yes!"
"Haha. Would you like to go to places like that again if you get the chance?"
"Yes!"
"You know, if you take exams—like, in a competition—and win first place, your teachers and friends will congratulate you and tell you how amazing you are."
Cheol-jun's eyes went wide, his mouth forming a perfect 'O'.
Exams? Competitions?
He had never even considered them before, but hearing about it now, it sounded incredibly fun.
He had just discovered the joy of sharing his knowledge with others.
And that swell of pride he had felt yesterday had been quite intoxicating.
"Should I ask your teacher if there are any competitions like that?"
Cheol-jun beamed.
"Yes!"
"Haha..."
Hyeong-man let out a silent sigh of relief.
He hadn't expected it to be this easy.
Sigh...
Go Chang-ho furrowed his brow.
Cheol-jun hadn't come to school today because of his hospital visit.
Having witnessed the boy's state firsthand yesterday, Go Chang-ho had been worried sick all night.
Cheol-jun had been in such a terrible state when his uncle carried him away that they hadn't even been able to say a proper goodbye.
And those episodes used to happen often?
Because he had only ever seen Cheol-jun's bright, cheerful side, he had never suspected a thing.
Although the uncle hadn't gone into detail, the dark look on his face made it clear that there was a past Go Chang-ho knew nothing about.
Just what kind of things did he have to go through...?
Just then, his phone vibrated.
Go Chang-ho quickly pressed the answer button.
It was the call he had been waiting for.
"Yes, hello! ... Ah, that's a relief. Yes. Oh, the doctor said that? Well, there are plenty of competitions. Since Cheol-jun is so good at math, there are a few of those, and there are also many children's Baduk tournaments hosted by the Korea Baduk Association. As for the piano, I don't quite know his skill level yet... Oh, actually, we have a school math competition coming up next week! Haha. No, don't mention it. I'm just glad it's nothing serious. Yes, yes. Anyway, I'll compile a list first. Yes, I understand."
Go Chang-ho hung up and let out a sigh of relief.
Yesterday, the boy had been so utterly drained that his uncle had to carry him away, so it was a massive relief to hear he was perfectly fine today.
But still, competitions to give him a sense of achievement?
Hmm...
Come to think of it, Cheol-jun was very different from other gifted children.
Usually, gifted kids loved to show off, but Cheol-jun had almost none of that vanity.
Even during class, when he clearly knew the answers, he never raised his hand to show off. He never went out of his way to stand out, except for that time with Si-woo.
On the surface, he looked like an entirely ordinary child.
Go Chang-ho had secretly found it unusual, but yesterday in the small auditorium, he had caught a glimpse of it.
The boy had looked quite proud of himself when the adults showered him with praise.
Perhaps he had never experienced anything like that before, so he simply hadn't known what it felt like to be recognized by others.
Go Chang-ho quickly picked up a pen.
Let's see...
There were quite a few competitions Cheol-jun could enter.
First, he needed to gauge the boy's actual level.
After all, they had never properly evaluated him.
Private math competitions are held quarterly, so there should be one in March. The Askhow Gifted Olympiad is in May, the KMA and Haebeop Math Competitions are in June... Ah, the KMC and Sungkyunkwan University Competition are also around June, and the KJMO is around September...
It would be best to start with a private math competition for experience, then move on to the various competitions clustered in May and June. If his skills were up to par, he could even challenge the KJMO.
Go Chang-ho suddenly frowned.
To think that the only events capable of giving a child a proper sense of achievement were these rigid, competitive exams...
Sigh...
He quickly opened his browser and began searching for Baduk tournaments as well.
Si-woo had mentioned before that Cheol-jun's Baduk skills were practically at a professional level...
As it turned out, there were plenty of children's Baduk tournaments too.
Let's look up other options as well.
There were other elementary school competitions besides mathematics.
English competitions will probably be swept by kids who lived abroad... Art is out of the question since he's never learned it. Science? Invention or creativity-focused ones are worth a shot. For piano, I'll have to ask his music teacher. And essay writing...
First, he needed to get a clear grasp of Cheol-jun's actual level.
Go Chang-ho shook his head slightly.
He had always utterly loathed these kinds of competitive exams.
Yet, why was he so excited at the prospect of showing Cheol-jun off to the world?
Of course, he had the perfect excuse of it being for the boy's psychological therapy, but he still felt a bit guilty for being so thrilled.
It was his second year working as a teacher in Korea without compromising his principles.
The rookie teacher, Go Chang-ho, found himself in a deeply serious conflict between his reason and his emotions.
Go Chang-ho scratched his head vigorously.
On his desk, a shower of precious strands of hair drifted down.