The Weight of a Stone
Go Chang-ho pinched his thigh hard under the desk to keep from laughing in front of the kids.
His lips trembled as he fought to suppress a grin.
To think such an exciting event would unfold on the second day of school.
That ego-filled Baduk prodigy had gotten worked up to this extent.
He had received notes from Si-woo's previous homeroom teachers. They mentioned that Si-woo didn't get along with the other children, but he usually just ignored them or walked away.
But this time, his emotions had completely boiled over. For that mature, cold kid to swing a fist at someone a head shorter than him...
And hearing Cheol-jun explain everything step-by-step made the reason even more mind-blowing.
"It's all my fault, Teacher."
Sigh...
With the boy admitting his mistake so cleanly, Chang-ho couldn't bring himself to scold him further.
"Yes, Cheol-jun is right. Touching or looking at someone else's things without permission can be very rude. Since you clearly understand what you did wrong, I won't say any more about it."
Chang-ho turned his head to look at Si-woo, who was still huffing with lingering anger.
"Si-woo. Cheol-jun made a mistake, yes. But you could have resolved it with words. Why did you have to swing your fist? If you don't express yourself clearly, the other person won't understand why you're so angry."
"..."
At that moment, Cheol-jun spoke up.
"I, uh, spoke lightly of something that is grand and precious to Si-woo."
"Huh?"
"I thought I knew a lot about Baduk. I only said it because I wanted to get closer to him, but to Si-woo, it must have been... well, extremely offensive. That's why he got mad at me."
Si-woo's brow furrowed even deeper. It felt as if his own unorganized inner thoughts had been completely laid bare—and neatly summarized, at that.
"Si-woo, is that true?"
"..."
"Whew... Anyway, Si-woo, you have to go to the Baduk academy this afternoon, right?"
"..."
"You'll be late. Hurry along. Do you still have any complaints about how I'm handling this, even though Cheol-jun is apologizing so sincerely?"
"..."
"Cheol-jun?"
Cheol-jun, who had been stealing glances at Si-woo, quickly bowed his head.
"Si-woo, I'm sorry. I was really in the wrong."
Chang-ho placed a hand on Si-woo's shoulder.
"Si-woo, you should apologize for trying to hit Cheol-jun, too."
"..."
Si-woo clenched his teeth so hard that his cheeks hollowed.
Cheol-jun quickly intervened.
"Teacher, Si-woo doesn't need to apologize. I'm fine. He tried to hit me, but he didn't land a single blow. Even if he tried to hit me more, he wouldn't have succeeded. Since only Si-woo ended up rolling on the floor..."
"...Huh?"
At that, Si-woo bit his lower lip, violently jerked his shoulder to shake off Chang-ho's hand, and glared at Cheol-jun. He stood up abruptly from his chair.
He made as if to storm out of the counseling room, but hesitated, turned back, and bowed to Chang-ho.
"...I will be going now."
"Right, go on. Cool off, okay?" Chang-ho chuckled and waved.
At least he says goodbye before leaving.
Once Si-woo left, Chang-ho looked at Cheol-jun with an intrigued expression.
"Cheol-jun."
"Yes, Teacher?"
"What did you mean by what you said earlier when looking at Si-woo's game record?"
"Pardon?"
"I mean, there must have been some meaning behind it."
"Ah..."
Cheol-jun narrowed his eyes, staring intently at the A4 paper on the table.
"Do you need that?"
"Yes!"
"A pencil too?"
"Yes!"
Chang-ho tilted his head in curiosity as he handed over the paper and pencil. Cheol-jun immediately began drawing a grid on the paper. It looked like he was trying to draw a Baduk board.
"Uh, do you want me to get you a real Baduk board?"
Cheol-jun's eyes went wide, and he nodded eagerly. "Yes!"
Chang-ho stood up, his face filled with anticipation. Where was the Baduk board again...
He recalled seeing one in the lower-grade play classroom. "I'll be right back. Wait here."
"Yes! Thank you!"
"So, here, the black stone enters the white stone's territory. It feels very aggressive. If it had kept pushing forward, White would have been in a terrible spot. In fact, White was already backing away. But then, suddenly, Black hesitates. Then Black plays somewhere else entirely. I was just so curious why Black, who was advancing so well, suddenly held back and turned away..."
Chang-ho stared blankly at the board. Can someone really remember a game record so accurately after just a single glance?
As far as he knew, that was a feat only high-level research students or professional players could pull off.
"Did... did you learn Baduk, Cheol-jun?"
"Ah, yes! From my dad!"
"Really? Your dad must have been quite skilled."
Cheol-jun frowned, recalling the game record. "No, I don't think he was that good."
"...Huh?"
Cheol-jun stared at the board. "I played with him sometimes, but I've never played a game of this level before."
"Ah..."
Chang-ho blinked. It wasn't a natural ability developed by playing dozens of games a day like research students... Wait, that's not the important part right now.
"So, you asked about that move Black made?"
"Yes!"
"What were you curious about?"
Cheol-jun carefully studied Black's movement again. The person playing Black must be very aggressive and combative in Baduk. But they suddenly became passive, as if suppressing their natural inclination.
To Cheol-jun, if Black had played according to their nature, they would have never lost. In fact, they might have won by a landslide, because White was much more intimidated than Black.
Cheol-jun had never seen a game of this level, so it was hard to explain clearly. But thinking about it, he felt a certain abstract impression.
"The person playing Black... feels like they are under oppression? Suppression? It's like they are terrified of something other than winning or losing this game. That's why they couldn't show their true skills. Normally, they could have played much better. How should I put it? It's like they played passively out of fear of making a mistake. They backed off when they could have been bold. It's just my guess, but I really wanted to know if I was right. And the reason why."
Chang-ho stared at the board. He can tell all that from looking at a game record once?
"Hmm. So, in your opinion, this Black stone is Si-woo's? And you saw a problem where he couldn't show his real skill?"
"Yes."
Chang-ho only knew the basics of Baduk, so he didn't really understand what's what. But since Cheol-jun was so sure, it caught his attention.
"Alright. I understand what you mean. In the future, be careful not to touch or look at other people's things without permission. Okay?"
"Yes! Teacher!"
"I'll clean this up, so go back to the classroom first."
"Yes!"
Cheol-jun stood up, bowed politely, and left.
Chang-ho stared at the board, raising an eyebrow.
Si-woo, called a Baduk prodigy since childhood, living in a ruthless world of competition, crushed by expectations.
Fearing something other than the match right in front of him?
Si-woo might be in a state where his performance goals (motivation to look good to others) have completely swallowed his mastery goals (motivation to do well for himself).
Children like this avoid risks out of fear of failure, becoming extremely passive.
And that's why he couldn't show his true skills?
Chang-ho picked up a black stone. If Black really stopped its attack questionably, it was logically worth suspecting.
He said he goes to a Baduk academy run by his father, right?
Chang-ho cleaned up the stones, thinking about what he could do.
Let's go there first. Seeing the environment might give him an answer.
Chang-ho was the type to dive headfirst once he got hooked on something.
-Beep beep beep beep beep!
-Click!
-Creak!
"I'm home!"
"Oh? Why? Didn't you say you were going to the PC bang with your friends?"
Hyeong-man tilted his head, seeing Cheol-jun home earlier than expected.
"Min-jun's parent issue!"
"Pa... what?"
"His parents called and told him to come home early."
"Ah, really?"
Hyeong-man grinned, looking at the Baduk board. "A game?"
"Baduk?"
"Yeah. Your uncle, you know, isn't actually at that level. I just haven't played in a while. Let's just play one game."
"Uh..."
"I'll take a three-stone handicap!"
"Uh, three stones won't be enough for you..."
"Hey... yesterday was just because it's been too long!"
Cheol-jun looked troubled. Honestly, even with a handicap, Hyeong-man couldn't play a game as cool as that record.
Cheol-jun had resolved not to take Baduk lightly anymore. If he played with Hyeong-man, he wouldn't be able to play seriously.
More than anything, he needed to improve his skills quickly, whether by watching Baduk videos or whatever. That way, he could match Si-woo's level and play a cool game. If he showed skills worthy of his words, Si-woo's anger would melt away.
Anyway, he wasn't in the mood to play with Hyeong-man.
"Well..."
"Come on, just one game! Your uncle just won a game online, okay? I even beat an amateur 3-dan just now!"
Cheol-jun blinks. "Online?"
"Yeah!"
Cheol-jun's head snapped around. Through the open door, he saw the computer.
"Teach me how to do that!"
"...Huh?"
"Online Baduk!"
"No, I said let's play..."
Cheol-jun ran to his room, ignoring Hyeong-man.
Hyeong-man smacked his lips, scratched his belly, and followed him.
Cheol-jun had already tossed his bag and was sitting in front of the computer, eyes sparkling.
He should at least take off his school uniform first. What's the rush?
Cheol-jun fidgeted. "Hurry!"
Hyeong-man scrunched his nose and pouted. "Okay, okay. That's what your uncle installed to play when I'm bored... To sign up... Ah, you can just use my ID. I paid for a premium subscription, so you can play unlimited matches. Click that, let's see."
Hyeong-man typed in the ID and password.
"Now, if you click 'Play Match' there, you'll get matched with someone of similar skill. Let's see... Your uncle is an amateur 3-dan because I beat a 3-dan earlier."
"Can't I play with someone better?"
"You have to beat the higher ranks to play against them. Yeah, there. Just click 'Quick Match'."
Cheol-jun narrowed his eyes. On the Hall of Fame window, the top ranks are displayed, all 7-dan.
Can those people play as well as Si-woo?
He needed to play someone that good quickly. Once he was hooked, he couldn't think of anything else.
Cheol-jun moved the mouse and clicked 'Quick Match'.
[ImmortalFireBat], an opponent has been found.
[SoleBoil] has entered the room.
Rank: Amateur 3-Dan
Record: 133 W / 102 L
He immediately clicked accept.
"Well, as you can see, it's quite intense here."
Go Chang-ho smiled and looked around. Just as Si-woo's father, professional player Park Jin-gyeom, said, the air in the room where the research students gathered was different.
In the quiet room, only the clack-clack of stones could be heard.
It was completely different from the elementary or hobby classes he had passed.
There were a few elementary schoolers and some who looked like middle schoolers.
In the corner, he saw the back of Si-woo's head.
"Si-woo was amazing. He started playing even matches with older research students at age seven, and he held his own. Around that time, my own performance was dropping sharply, so I focused entirely on supporting him."
"Wow. Since age seven?"
"Yes. The little guy was so competitive. He couldn't stand losing. Even without being taught, he would review his games alone. Honestly, not just because he's my son, but as a Baduk player, I had to acknowledge him. I got greedy too. My only career highlight was barely hitting rank 10, so I wanted to raise him right. That kind of..."
Si-woo staring at the board. The kid sitting opposite him looked like a high schooler, but he seemed even more nervous.
Si-woo's small fingers pick up a stone and play it. Every time that clacking sound rings out, the opponent's eyes waver.
It was cool, but also suffocating to watch.
"Haha, they're in the middle of a match, so it might take some time..."
"Ah, that's fine. I came to see you today, Mr. Park."
"Then, to my office..."
"Yes."
Sitting on the sofa in the modest office, Park Jin-gyeom handed him an energy drink loaded with caffeine. He glanced at Chang-ho.
"So, what brings you here..."
"Just a routine home visit at the start of the semester. Si-woo is a very special case, so I decided to drop by."
"Ah..."
"What are your plans for his middle school education?"
"Well, it's compulsory, so he has to go. But he'll probably be classified as out-of-school due to attendance issues and take the qualification exam. Most research students do that. In our day, we just didn't go, but these days it's quite a hassle."
Chang-ho smiled and nodded. It was an understandable policy, but he couldn't help but feel it was a pity.
"There's a lot to learn from mingling with friends."
"Yes, I know. That's why I make sure he attends elementary school for at least a few hours. Did... did he cause any trouble at school?"
Chang-ho smiled and shook his head. "No, not at all. He's very mature. Quiet and grown-up."
"Haha, right? He's a special one. He's been like that since he was little. I can't help but praise him."
Taking a sip of the energy drink, Chang-ho raised an eyebrow.
He recalled the psychology of gifted children regarding failure avoidance.
Paradoxically, highly gifted children are more vulnerable to failure because they are too smart.
A child who has always been praised as "good" equates their self-worth with their ability.
If a parent's excessive expectations or praise-centered conditional love are repeated, the message "I must do well to be loved" becomes internalized.
Consequently, failure is not just a simple mistake, but leads to self-negation: "I am a useless person."
Meeting Si-woo's father gave him the exact answer.
"Mr. Park."
"Yes?"
"Could you entrust Si-woo to me for just one month?"
"Excuse me? What do you mean..."
"Oh, nothing grand. Just let him finish his morning classes, and give him a chance to hang out with friends in the afternoon about two days a week. Other than that, he can focus on Baduk just like before."
"Hmm. If he fails the upcoming pro academy entry tournament, he has to enter the main branch and prepare for their entry tournament. It's an incredibly difficult path, so right now is the most critical time to focus..."
Chang-ho nodded warmly, but inside, he was highly excited.
He remembered Si-woo's face—how, despite being angry at Cheol-jun's teasing, he composed himself and turned to bow before leaving the counseling room.
The suffocating weight of the burden that young child was carrying, a weight even adults would struggle to bear.
So, he blurted out words he couldn't guarantee.
"I guarantee it."
"...Yes?"
"His Baduk skills will definitely improve much more than they are now."
In truth, he didn't know. It would definitely be positive for the child's emotional state, but whether it would lead to better Baduk skills was something Chang-ho had no idea about.
It was a promise he should never have guaranteed.
But his heart had already made the leap. The heart is always the one to make reckless promises it can't handle.
Though his heart was pounding, Chang-ho maintained a calm expression. Since he had made the leap, he had to go all the way.
"I have a PhD in Education from Harvard."
"Ah, I heard. The only one among elementary school teachers."
"There are only five of us in the country. The other four are all professors at prestigious universities."
"Ah..."
"There was an unofficial study tracking Chinese Baduk prodigies from childhood."
That was a lie.
"At the time, the research showed that the more stable the children's emotional development, the better they could display their true skills. The Chinese Baduk Association desperately blocked it, so it was never published as a paper."
A total lie.
"I want to apply that research to Si-woo."
Park Jin-gyeom's eyes went wide.
"You believe in Si-woo's talent, don't you?"
"Yes..."
"If you leave him to me, I am sure that in the near future, he will become a Baduk player representing Korea—no, ruling the world! A legendary player who will leave his mark on history."
Park Jin-gyeom's eyes widened even further. His mouth hung slightly open.
"Trust me, Mr. Park."
As if possessed, Park Jin-gyeom nodded.
When Go Chang-ho extended his hand, Park quickly grabbed it.
"I leave him in your hands, Teacher."
Go Chang-ho smiled gently and nodded.
And inside, he screamed desperately:
Fuck! I'm screwed!
Park Jin-gyeom nodded vigorously. "I really count on you!"
Go Chang-ho's raised lips trembled.
You crazy heart of mine!
Suddenly, a bright, innocent face came to mind.
-That's why they couldn't show their true skills.
It all started with that kid's words.
I'm betting everything on you, Cheol-jun.
Having successfully shifted the blame, Go Chang-ho smiled broadly, holding Park Jin-gyeom's hand tightly and shaking it slowly.