The Meaning of Swearing
I was extremely pissed off at author Pakuri right now. And honestly, if I wasn't angry in this situation, that would be the weird part. The Twilight clan? For real? The real Milene had ended up shouldering every single role in this mess. At least I could see how ridiculous it was. It felt exactly like those bloodline powers from some ninja manga.
“The Twilight clan, you say? How long has it been since one last appeared?”
“Right now, not a single mage in this entire Magic Tower has managed to awaken Twilight… and yet the candidate Hero has?”
“No, um. What exactly is going on here?”
I finally asked Leon, who was busy chattering away with the Magic Tower’s mages.
“Dark attribute on top of elemental magic! This is definitely Twilight!”
What the hell is that, you damn otaku? I might know the setting, but you can’t just throw around terms like that without explaining them first. Seriously. How many genres are getting crammed into one person because of me? I demanded a proper explanation about Twilight.
Because of Pakuri, this whole thing was going to take up way more page time than it deserved.
“Isn’t the dark attribute generally avoided by everyone?”
“That’s partly because this is the Hero’s kingdom, but also because the only bloodline capable of handling both elemental magic and the dark attribute is the Twilight clan.”
Leon spoke with clear reverence for that ridiculously edgy middle-school concept known as Twilight.
“In other words…”
“Yes. Setting aside the fact that it’s shunned, the Magic Tower deliberately made people with the dark attribute even more despised in order to locate anyone with Twilight potential.”
So they took an already unpopular attribute and turned it into something the public actively hated just to smoke out the Twilight clan. The more I thought about it, the more villainous it sounded. Anyway, since I apparently was Twilight now… did that make me some kind of overpowered protagonist? A hybrid novel like this sitting at number one? Fuck.
“That’s quite the underhanded tactic.”
“It was necessary. The people at the Magic Tower are rather eccentric about these things. But more importantly, Twilight… if this is the case, then…”
“If this is the case?”
“The Twilight clan itself no longer exists. However, all of their assets remain here in the Magic Tower.”
Something about the way Leon was talking made it feel like he was trying to lure me in.
“You’re saying all of that would belong to me?”
“That’s correct. The Twilight assets stored within the Magic Tower are quite substantial.”
Wow. So it wasn’t even a family inheritance passed down through generations—just an awakening bloodline? Well, maybe I should look at it positively. If I wanted to give the mages in the novel more authenticity, this much was probably necessary.
This time, a grand scholar approached me with a big laugh.
“Prince Leon is correct. If you would enter the Magic Tower right away—”
“No, no. I’m not in any position to take things that easy. There’s still the matter with Sophia and Prince Schwald that needs to be resolved first.”
“The matter with Sophia and Prince Schwald?”
“Yes. Even setting Sophia aside, the Holpert side is just staying completely silent. The duke himself isn’t even coming to the capital. Once that situation is taken care of, I’ll finally have some breathing room.”
There was no way the real party involved—Milene—could just waltz into the Magic Tower when the issue with Sophia hadn’t even been settled yet. Should I have come as K instead? No, the opponent was the Magic Tower. Whether I came as K or Milene, they’d figure it out immediately. That couldn’t happen.
“There’s already more than enough evidence, yet Duke Holpert is keeping his mouth shut. It’s clearly an attempt to buy time.”
“Now that you mention it, Holpert has never had a good relationship with our Magic Tower either.”
So those Holpert bastards were throwing their weight around and acting like gangsters after all. Just how many grudges had they piled up?
“Milene Roen.”
“Yes.”
“We will pressure Holpert on your behalf. Once the matter is resolved, come straight to the Magic Tower and inherit the Twilight lineage.”
Oh shit. What the hell? The Magic Tower had suddenly become my ally. Of course, I was a little worried that if things kept going like this, I’d end up stuck in the Magic Tower whether I liked it or not. But let’s put that aside for now.
What mattered was that if the Magic Tower moved against Holpert, that side would have no choice but to act. From their perspective, if even the neutral Magic Tower was moving for the sake of one person named Milene, they’d be forced to respond.
“Now that I think about it, you mentioned wanting to see the mage who would be conducting the interrogation.”
“Yes.”
“He’s right over there. He scored the highest in both written and practical exams at the Magic Tower. His name is Harold.”
Leon brought a man over to me. He had the classic model student look, complete with glasses. Hmm. His face was turning quite red. This guy had fallen for Milene the second he saw her. Well, that was only natural. Milene was the kind of woman who would be flawless no matter where you put her. Any man would be tempted by such a perfect body and face.
“Oh, Harold. Nice to meet you.”
“Yes! I am Harold, second-ranked mage of the Magic Tower! It is an honor to meet you, my lady!”
“Honor? Whatever. My little sister is rather delicate, so please handle her as gently as possible.”
In other words, I was asking him to be as conscientious as he could. I made the request with as much benevolence as I could muster. After all, if I acted kindly now, when Sophia’s true nature was revealed during the interrogation later, people’s disgust would only grow stronger. They’d think, how can sisters be so different? And everything was calculated perfectly.
Sophia had come storming into the capital of her own accord. Since Sophia had shown up, I had no choice but to attend the proceedings as Milene. It was an absolute spectacle.
“I’m not a man, I’m a woman! Where do you see a crossdressing man in my beauty?!”
“Please calm down. Even so, we must still verify.”
“Since male knights cannot perform the inspection, the female knights will do it themselves.”
“But what if she really is a man? Our eyes will be cursed!”
“Under the dress… ewww.”
“If she really is a woman that’s one thing, but still…”
The female knights, who had already half-believed Sophia was a man thanks to the rumors about the gay prince and the novel, screamed in horror. They were still nobles, after all. They had no choice but to perform the physical examination, but it seemed they felt it tarnished their family honor to have to look at a crossdresser’s body for such a ridiculous reason. Above all, they believed that as knights, they shouldn’t have to do something like this. Though honestly, I suspected their discipline had simply gone to shit.
“Hurry up and look at my body! The palace maids can check, can’t they?! Where exactly does this body look like a man’s?!”
In the end, they performed the examination. And it was confirmed that she was indeed a woman. Well, honestly, I had zero desire to see that plain, scrawny naked body anyway.
“Hmm. She is a woman.”
“Hah. Now do you understand? So… are you disappointed? That I’m a woman, I mean.”
“Whatever.”
The legendary phrase slipped from one knight’s mouth. Whatever. The classic line you use when you want to act shameless. Of course, considering everything Sophia had done up to now, we were already way past “whatever.” We could have stripped her naked right here and still asked if she was really a man.
“Now then, we will begin the interrogation.”
“What?”
“Why are you so surprised? Of course we must interrogate you. Even if you are a woman who somehow changed sex, that’s none of our concern.”
“I didn’t do anything! This is unfair!”
Wow, listen to her whining. It was a good thing I was only observing from behind. If Sophia had realized Milene was here, she probably would have thrown a tantrum and tried to paint me as the villain. As if I’d let that happen. I’m an author now, you know.
“You must now answer our questions properly and in detail.”
“I’m a duke’s daughter! You can’t do this to me! I’m Holpert’s daughter!”
“His Grace the Duke has given his permission.”
“Father? That’s impossible. Why would Father…?”
Wow. It seemed even Duke Holpert was terrified of the Magic Tower. He probably never imagined they would get involved. Or maybe he was plotting something else. Perhaps Holpert was planning to abandon their daughter. Could that really be it? Or was there another reason?
But that bitch denied everything to the very end. The interrogation using the mage named Harold or whatever was scheduled for tomorrow. So I returned home for now.
However, Ritz came out to greet me with an anxious expression.
“Um… my lady. A letter has arrived from Holpert.”
“From Holpert?”
“Yes.”
“I see. Let’s see what our oh-so-great Duke Holpert wants, shall we?”
Sophia has been sufficiently punished. Would it not be appropriate to forgive her at this point and preserve the family’s honor? If you do so, I will once again accept you as Holpert’s daughter and welcome you back to the main house. I will also ensure Sophia lives quietly.
— Duke Holpert
“Ugh, what bullshit.”
I dismissed it in a single sentence. This was pure bullshit. Accepting me back now? What kind of horrific nonsense was this?
“Pardon?”
“Never mind. It’s just bullshit. Total bullshit. Actually, do you want to read it?”
When I handed the letter to Ritz, she quietly read through it before reacting with indignation.
“Wow. They really have no conscience at all.”
“Exactly. I don’t know if they’ve figured out that I’m author K, but with Schwald out of the picture, I now have Heintz and Leon behind me, plus the Magic Tower. If I return to Holpert, they might try to connect me with Heintz, who is practically the top candidate for the throne. At the very least, judging by the current situation, it seems they’ve heard rumors about my relationship with Heintz. From Heintz’s reaction, it looks like the original Milene had built at least some kind of connection with him.”
“What will you do?”
“Ignore it. Why should I care?”
They were the ones who had done whatever they wanted, kicked me out, and now they wanted to take me back? It was as if they thought they were doing me some huge favor. They showed zero reflection, and they actually believed I wanted to return to Holpert. Sure, Holpert was a great noble house, but who knew when it might collapse? Even setting aside the fact that I was author K, there was a very reasonable suspicion that they were trying to use me now that I was the candidate Hero with ties to the Magic Tower. They must have decided it would be better to bring me back into the family. And the fact that they still wanted me to forgive Sophia showed they intended to protect her until the end. Our dear Milene must be sobbing somewhere.
“By the way, what’s going on with that woman named Sophia?”
“You seem surprisingly curious about a lot of things.”
“Well, she’s been quite famous lately. The love story between the gay prince and the crossdressing man, and all that.”
Wow, that was horrifying. The love story of gay Prince Schwald and crossdressing Sophia. Just what kind of absurd nonsense was this?
“Oh fuck, just hearing it makes me dizzy.”
“Fuck?”
“Ah, ‘fuck’ is a swear word that pops out like an exclamation when something is so ridiculous you can’t even describe it.”
“This really is a fuck-like situation.”
Behold, all you mass-produced villainess stories. While you were busy making soap and twisting the original work in pathetic ways, I have been advancing the development of literature and even spreading profanity to my close associates. Is this how the Baekje kingdom felt when they transmitted culture to Japan during the Three Kingdoms period?
Apparently Roen was involved in maritime trade. Maybe I should give them some direct business ideas this time. I’d learned that while soap-like things existed in this world, they were mostly crude items made by mages using magic. There was nothing properly developed. So I should make them produce real soap. If Roen made money on the side selling soap while I earned money through my novels… wow, we’d become filthy rich in no time.
“Then what should we do with this fuck-like letter?”
“Burn it.”
It wasn’t even worth thinking about. Besides, just looking at this appearance, I suited Roen far better than Holpert anyway. They could go eat shit.