I'll Offer You the Holy Sword
I shoved it back in with a crack. The moment I felt something trying to come out, I jammed it right back where it belonged. It was less about questioning why the damn thing had popped out and more about the fact that there were eyes on me right now. From that distance, they probably couldn’t have seen the sword emerge anyway. I figured I could just smoothly play it off.
But I could feel a particularly intense gaze locked onto me.
“Didn’t it just come out a second ago?”
“Did it?”
It was the Heintz and Leon brothers. The two of them were staring at me intently. They even narrowed their eyes, looking me up and down, and started moving closer as if they wanted a better look. For now, I kept the sword firmly suppressed so it couldn’t come out.
“It didn’t come out.”
“No, I’m pretty sure it did.”
“Look. It’s not coming out, is it? No matter how hard I pull, it won’t budge.”
When they started getting suspicious, I pretended to tug on it with all my might while secretly pushing it back in at the same time.
“If you pull it just a little harder, don’t you think it might come out?” Leon slyly nudged.
No way. I had zero intention of pulling it. I could seriously sense that yanking it out here would completely screw me over. Damn it. It would’ve been so much easier if one of them had just pulled it in front of me first so I wouldn’t have to do it myself. Though, thinking about it, that might not have been any better. They could have made me do it formally after the two princes failed.
So I kept up the act of pulling until the very end, then stopped.
“I’m telling you, it’s not coming out.”
“Hmm.”
“Well, if you say so.”
And so I decided to stick around and watch for a bit instead of leaving. Obviously. This could be the exact moment the hero is born. Or, since the original story had been twisted beyond recognition and the hero had vanished, I might end up having to drag some hero from another country over here. So I needed to confirm it with my own eyes, at the very least.
“No, I’m sure I saw it come out earlier.”
“Yeah, right? But if the person themselves says it didn’t, what can we do?”
The way they were looking at me was incredibly suspicious. Whatever. Not long after, the two princes started whispering to each other in front of the Holy Sword. Their expressions didn’t look great.
“Who should pull it first?”
“Should I go first?”
“Honestly, I’m originally a mage, aren’t I? You should do it, brother. I was taught that one should always yield in matters like this.”
“You’re just being lazy. Fine, whatever.”
In the end, Prince Heintz stepped up to the rock where the Holy Sword was embedded and gripped its hilt.
Please work. Please, for the love of god, pull it out.
I had zero desire to become the hero. The sooner he pulled it, the less hassle I’d have to deal with—like having to go find another country’s hero. Shhhk. Crack. The Holy Sword slowly, slowly began to slide out… and then stopped.
“This isn’t coming out easily, is it?”
“What? Even you can’t do it, brother?”
“No. Just wait. If I put in a little more effort, I think I can get it.”
Shwaaaaaaaaah.
Oh. There it goes. He seemed to have used more strength than I had, but he pulled it out beautifully anyway.
Yes. That’s it. That’s the one.
The moment Heintz drew the Holy Sword, a blinding light flooded the area. Fuck yes, you’re the SSR-grade hero character I’ve been looking for. Perfect. This glorious moment—I could definitely use it later in my novel when it came time to select a new hero.
“Ooooooh! The radiant Holy Sword has finally been drawn!”
The priests who had followed us in were losing their minds. Their eyes sparkled as they celebrated the birth of a new hero. Brilliant light poured down from the ceiling, making it look like the goddess herself was bestowing her blessing.
Yeah, sure. But Heintz’s face looked extremely displeased.
“I have a question. Hey, priest.”
“Yes?”
“If we put this back in, can other people try pulling it again like before?”
“Yes. The Holy Sword itself can only be used by the hero. That rock exists precisely for that purpose.”
So they could stick it back in and pull it out whenever they wanted. That thing seemed pretty useful in more ways than one. Honestly, seeing real fantasy in person was… a bit underwhelming compared to what I’d expected. Because theoretically, this was solvable.
Well, I had kind of anticipated it. Of course. Even if it was a novel, this was reality. There was no way they’d pick a hero just because they were some “chosen child” like in those cliché stories, or a reincarnation, or an instant overpowered character. If that were the case, that idiot Schwald would never have become the hero.
“I see. Priest, could you step outside for a moment? I have some preparations to make.”
“Yes! Then I shall make the announcement outside in advance—”
“No, I’ll go out and announce it myself.”
What? Was he in that good of a mood? Well, now that I’d seen everything I needed to see, I could leave.
“Understood.”
“Then I’ll be going as well.”
The moment I tried to leave, someone suddenly blocked my path. It was the two princes. Heintz was staring at me with a deadly serious expression, while Leon was looking at me with a meaningful smile.
What the hell was their problem?
“Hey, Roen. No matter how I look at it, something’s off. Can you really not pull it?”
Fuck. These bastards are at it again.
Were they seriously telling me to pull it again? It sure looked that way. They were clearly just messing with me because they had nothing better to do. So I refused.
“Of course not. I absolutely cannot pull it.”
“Try grabbing it again.”
Before I knew it, the two princes had dragged me over to the rock where the Holy Sword had been reinserted.
“I really cannot pull it.”
Pulling it again wouldn’t change anything. I had no intention of drawing it. I couldn’t refuse a prince’s order, but bolting would be just as bad. So I grabbed it and pretended to pull.
They were watching me from both sides, seriously checking whether I could actually draw the sword. Didn’t they have better things to do? Like going outside and announcing the birth of a hero?
“It really does look suspicious. Let’s see…”
I was just pretending to pull when something suddenly poked into my side. I realized it was Leon a split second before magic hit me—probably a tickling spell. I reflexively jerked. Since I was still holding the sword, it slid right out with a shing.
“Ah, fuck.”
“See? It came out. To think someone who isn’t even royalty could pull it. Just who are you?”
Ah. I got caught.
If I’d known Heintz was going to pull it anyway, why the hell had I stayed to watch? I seriously wanted to beat the crap out of my past self. Fine. Fine. If you’re asking who I am—how the hell should I know? What the fuck was that brain-dead author thinking? If she wanted a saintess, fine, but why the hell did the saintess have to be able to wield the Holy Sword? And unlike when Heintz held it, the sword was giving off a sinister black glow in my hands.
This wasn’t going to work. Normally, one should yield important things to their superiors.
“Uh, um. Congratulations on becoming the hero.”
I naturally offered him the Holy Sword I had drawn. I was nothing more than a random passerby handing over the Holy Sword. Definitely not the hero. Besides, the sword was turning pitch black because I was holding it.
“No, that’s obviously because I put it back in earlier. You just happened to pull it out by chance. And since I offered it to you, Prince, you are the hero.”
“Is that so? Hmm. I see. Then if I give this back to you, wouldn’t that make you the hero?”
I’d gone through all that trouble to hand it over, and now he was shoving it back at me. Were these two just toying with me? Or were they trying to screw me over?
“No, that’s… Anyway, I absolutely cannot become the hero.”
“Why not?”
“Uh, well. That is… um.”
“Speak. If you don’t, I’ll make you the hero.”
Where the hell did he learn such useless threats?
“Wow. Passing the hero title back and forth. How touching.”
“And I’ll add the crime of insulting the royal family to the list.”
They were really cornering me here. What should I do? Should I run? No. Who knew what kind of mess I’d get into if I ran in a monarchy like this? The next king’s power could easily make one person disappear without a trace. They’d probably investigate me. And since Leon was a magic genius, it was best to find a compromise here.
“Sigh. Fine. I’m an author.”
“An author? A novelist?”
“Exactly. I’m a writer who works hard on my novels. It’s impossible for someone like me to become a hero.”
There were multiple hero candidates. One was a popular author raking in money. The others were golden-spoon princes. It was obvious who would win. For now, let’s assume I’m a minor author in their eyes. Among the three of us, there was no way a starving writer living day to day would become the hero. Even if they gave me full support, realistically I’d just end up unemployed after the Demon King was defeated. Sure, the fame of being a hero would open doors, but having been born in a hyper-competitive Korean society and worked my way up from the bottom in a dead-end company, I wanted to earn money with my own abilities.
“But becoming the hero itself is an anomaly. It’s only natural that we’d be curious about your identity.”
Identity my ass. I just couldn’t do it. Besides, this was all because of the exaggerated worship surrounding the Holy Sword and the hero. If they thought about it calmly and realistically, the answer was already obvious.
“On the contrary, how many times have you held competitions to draw the Holy Sword until now?”
“Ah.”
“There you go. Even if it wasn’t during the Demon King’s era, it probably would have appeared by now. I was just a coincidence. There are probably plenty of talented people in other countries who could wield the Holy Sword. The world is wide and full of lunatics. Do you really think so few people can hold a glowing sword?”
My words carried weight. Unless someone had a flower garden for a brain like Schwald, they’d have enough sense to think it through. Heintz and Leon both had a decent sense of reality, so they’d probably mull it over.
I had to convince these princes right here. Leon was the problem, but for now, he couldn’t do anything to me.
Heintz, who had been quietly listening, tilted his head.
“Hmm. Is that so? But according to your logic, the value of this Holy Sword becomes ridiculously low. Above all, isn’t this the Hero’s Kingdom?”
I was wondering when he’d bring that up. Still, if it had been Schwald, he would’ve shouted Don’t make me laugh! and spouted nonsense about being the chosen one just to elevate himself. In fact, he actually did say things like that.
I shall slay the Demon King with my own hands and bring glory to the name of Glacia!
Thanks to all the behind-the-scenes manipulation, Schwald had practically become a divine hero. But because things had gone completely off the rails here, he never even got the chance to try.
“The Holy Sword is a sacred blade capable of killing the Demon King. It’s great. But you have to consider how much it’s been romanticized. If it truly were such a sword, it would mean the goddess personally manages and selects its wielder. If the goddess were going to intervene that much, she would’ve cut off the Demon King’s head long ago. Of course, this is the Hero’s Kingdom. So for the sake of that image, the Holy Sword needs to carry a somewhat divine, almost mystical aura.”
“Then why didn’t we know about this until now? Even if commoners might not, shouldn’t we, as royalty, have known?”
“It’s reasonable to assume that after the Demon King died and heroes were no longer needed, so much time passed that the records were lost.”
“Your words sound plausible. But what is this ‘image making’ you mentioned?”
“It’s the behind-the-scenes work done to make the country look like the Hero’s Kingdom, isn’t it?”
From now on, I decided to think purely with the mindset of Milene from this world. I’d forget about that plagiarizing author and judge things with this world’s logic. Or maybe the goddess was just neglecting her duties. Either way, I had to keep talking.
Not as the suspicious swordsman Roen, but like a real court schemer, using words to persuade my opponent. Even if I said I couldn’t, I had to. Because right now, I needed to shove this hero title onto Heintz no matter what.