Chapter 79
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 79
Chapter Title: Scales (3)
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"Kuhuhu!! This key really feels like the one, doesn't it?"
"What kind of feeling?"
"That it's the key to the exit!"
"I trust the elf's 'intuition.'"
Clunk- Clunk-
"Whoa...! It won't open...!"
"..."
"Human...!"
"Argh, seriously...! What the hell with this intuition that's lasted centuries...!"
Put a stone on, get a key.
Put a stone on, lose a stone.
I was a bit dumbfounded by the elf's antics, endlessly bargaining with whatever was on the other side of the scale to snag keys as cheaply as possible...
"This time it's really the exit key!"
"That one's really the exit, right?"
"My intuition's telling me! It is!"
"Sigh... ...Here."
The elf kept grabbing new keys and trying to unlock locked doors.
I was starting to get curious if what lay beyond that door was truly the exit.
I kept lending stones without complaint, watching the elf haggle...
Before long.
"Human...!"
"...I told you earlier. That was my last stone."
"Uh..."
We'd run out of all our stones.
"Just wait a bit! I'll borrow some from the others!"
When my stones ran dry, the elf talked about borrowing from other entities. I was dumbfounded, but then...
"...Come to think of it."
"Yeah?"
"Did we really have to use stones?"
"What do you mean?"
"This scale measures value, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Then couldn't we just put the keys we got from trades on it?"
Since the scale measured value anyway.
I asked if we couldn't put our keys on the scale instead...
"I already tried that."
"What?"
"No idea why, but this scale sees used keys as worthless."
"Oh, so..."
"After losing about ten keys, I just stuck to stones."
The scale's value assessment was more complex than I thought.
Then suddenly.
"How about this?"
The body enhancement suit from the Capitalist Horror tale came to mind. I pulled it from my inventory and showed the elf.
"Wh-what...? Where'd you get that?"
"From my status window."
"...You pulled an item from your status window?"
"Yes."
"...How is that possible?"
I could see the elf freaking out over every little thing.
"Next time you get a chance, check out the 'Big Whale Achievement Compendium' in the community."
"...What's that?"
"It's a summary of what I've done or can do. It's updated in real-time, so go read it."
After explaining what he needed to know.
I headed to the scale to place the useless body enhancement suit on it...
'...Feels weird using the scale myself.'
The hidden text in the warning said not to use the scale.
I turned to ask the elf to put it on for me...
"Could you put this on the scale for me instead...? Hm?"
"What's up?"
"No, just... maybe it's my imagination."
"What feeling?"
"...Doesn't that door seem closer than before?"
The door the elf had been trying to open felt a bit closer to us.
Of course.
"...Doesn't feel that way to me?"
Like the elf said, it was a sudden feeling for me too.
Looking around, the space was about the same as when we arrived.
I tried dismissing it as imagination, but then...
'...No way?'
A thought popped into my head.
"Put this on the scale over there, please."
"...You're really doing it?"
"Yes."
"What if it gets taken?"
"It's good stuff."
"...Good?"
"Trust me. You won't lose anything anyway."
"...Fine."
I handed the body enhancement suit to the elf.
I walked to the wall with the door, pulled my mace from inventory, jammed it into the floor right against the wall.
"Got it!"
"Keep trading until the suit gets taken."
I waited for the elf to lose the suit.
"Got it!"
"Hm..."
"Whoa! This suit must be pricey! Got another!"
"Hmm..."
"It put up two keys this time?"
"Hmmm..."
"Oh, three this time."
"Hmmmm...!"
The scale valued the suit highly.
The other side, stuck putting up keys, kept losing them to us nonstop.
"Human."
"Yeah?"
"It's not putting anything up anymore?"
"??"
I realized the other side had stopped trading first.
"Hah... It happily took our stones before..."
Right, we should've done this from the start.
The scale let the side with heavier value take everything.
What if we put the world's most valuable item on it? We'd get everything the opponent offers, right?
'This is a total farming spot!'
I'd been planning to stockpile 100+ crafting uses in the safe zone for this unexpectedly useful scale horror.
"It's moving again."
Suddenly the scale stirred once more.
The elf put the suit on again.
"..."
The scale tilted back and forth, weighing...
And eventually.
"What'd it put up?"
"Not keys, at least."
The suit went to the other side.
"...What are you doing?"
"Time to kill it now."
"Kill it? ...The monster?"
"Yes."
"...You're gonna kill a monster?? A monster????"
"We've got a powerful elf!"
"...I told you before, I can't use that... mana? Magic? Whatever."
"Then you're not an elf, just a big-eared human."
"No... Hah, huh... ...Do whatever."
But my goal was to kill the monster on the other side and recover the elf's lost stones.
I used tracking on the pre-snapped photo of the suit.
"Hm?"
Unlike expected code for the scale-user's position.
"...Huh?"
The camera arrow pointed at the firmly shut door.
"Guess we need to open the door after all."
Seemed the scale user was another entity beyond the locked door.
So...
'No rule against breaking the door.'
Recalling the warning had no such prohibition.
I walked to the mace I'd jammed into the floor against the wall to pry the door...
"It's farther now."
The mace, flush against the wall before, was now 5cm away.
Now I understood.
Why the warning called the scale a 'trap'.
"Elf."
"Yeah?"
"Now I get why the hidden text said not to use the scale."
"...Why?"
"Every trade moves that trap door."
"...The door moves?"
"Yes. Successful trade? Door moves away. Fail? It gets closer."
"...Then what about the keys?"
"The thing beyond was just scamming you for stones."
"...No way."
Sorry to the elf's centuries-honed intuition.
But this time, trust the camera.
'Old things break easily, they say.'
"...What'd you just think?"
"Huh?"
"...Long... something? My sanity's low, didn't hear clearly, but...?"
"Oh, just that staying here long might break me."
"Ah, it's fine. We'll escape soon."
Right after the elf spoke, I checked my sanity.
It had dropped below 650 while tracking.
I quickly slipped off and on my ring to refill sanity.
Suddenly...
"...Come to think of it, elf."
"Yeah?"
Remembering elves in horror tales survived decades.
Humans lose sanity just being here, but the elf endured decades, so his sanity must differ.
So...
"Is your sanity dropping?"
I casually asked.
"I've got an item for that too, in your terms."
"What?"
"An artifact that never lets sanity drop below a certain point."
"It does that...?"
The sanity-lock item left by the gallery mod came to mind.
But...
"...An item that locks sanity at 650?"
That armor only locked at 30... The elf's at 650?
"Oh..."
"...What're those eyes?"
"Ooh..."
"...Time. You definitely said that? Let's kill the scale-using monster...!"
"Scale-using... monster..."
"I'm...! I'm not a monster...! I used the scale, but I'm not a monster...! Huh?? Huh???"
Sniff...
I want it.
Really want it...
If sanity locks at 650... I could spam deletes with the camera?
Of course.
Deleting a photo means retaking it...
But...
'Snap and delete, snap and delete, snap and delete... infinite attacks?'
Hm...
Hmmm...
Hmmmmm...
"...Human?"
"Yes?"
"Just to be sure... I'm really strong, right?"
"Probably?"
"Yeah...! You said I'm strong...!"
"Hmm... So, what now...?"
"Huh...! Huh??? Huuuuh?????"
"Hm..."
Of course, none of the keys the elf got from the scale fit the door.
"So many keys, none work."
"Too bad."
So I jammed the mace into the door gap to force the lock...
"No."
"What?"
The elf suddenly stopped me.
"...You'll die."
"...What do you mean?"
"Just... intuition. Forcing the lock... bad."
He said forcing the lock was no good.
"...Unlocking with a key is fine, but breaking the lock isn't?"
"...Yeah."
"...This intuition from the elf who lost 300,000 stones?"
"...290,000."
"...Right. 290,000."
"Yeah..."
"..."
I knew the elf's intuition wasn't reliable...
But hearing that made me uneasy anyway.
So.
"No choice then."
I obediently put the mace back in inventory...
"Fine, if not, just use the VVIP system to bail."
"...Who're you borrowing stones from?"
"Help me out, human. I'll pay back once we're out...!"
"Sigh..."
I pulled three parcel bombs from inventory and stuck them to the door-
"Whoa whoa...!"
"Yes?"
"What is that?!"
"Bombs."
"Bombs?? BOMBS????"
"Yes."
"Didn't you hear what I said?!"
"You said forcing the lock is dangerous? So I'm blowing the whole door."
"No...! No...!! Anything but unlocking with a key is dangerous...!"
"Then bombs are all that's left for the scale... Wanna try?"
"Damage the scale, we might be trapped forever."
"...Then how do we get keys?"
"Hm... Hmm... Ah!"
"Don't tell me to go earn stones outside. I might light these and hit return."
"Hm... Hmm... Hmmm... You can read low-sanity minds too...?"
This moment, I resolved.
To one day claim that artifact from the elf.
"...What'd you just think?"
"Aigoo, sanity dropped again."
"Elf, those keys. You're tossing them anyway, right?"
"Yeah. Useless junk. Thought about putting them on the scale, but the thing might try selling more keys. Better trash them."
"Give them to me then?"
"Hm? Gonna try unlocking?"
"No."
"Here. What're you gonna do?"
"Hold on."
"Keys go in the status window too?"
"Sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Oh..."
[Incomplete Master Key]
A master key fused from dozens of keys.
Material shortage limits it to 2 uses.
"What is it?"
"This'll open it."
"...What key is that?"
"Fused all the keys you gave me into one."
"...You can do that?"
"Yes."
"...You're human?"
"Yes."
"You're really human??"
"Yes."
"You're really a human male??"?
"I am!?"
"So you just... Huh??? Fuse keys...! Store items in status window... Sanity over 650... and you're human???"
"Y-"
"So you just... Huh??? Casually say kill monsters... and you're human??"?
"...Guess not."
"Ah, knew it. Makes sense now?"
"Don't accept it like that...!"
Click-
"Whoa... It really opened... You're still human?"
"We settled that 30 minutes ago... You read the Big Whale compendium, right...?"
"Sniff... Sniff... You opening this door?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. Feels like... if there's a trap, I die opening it, you live."
"...It's the exit."
"Right?"
"Sigh... ...Huh?"
"...What? What's wrong?"
"...! This is why I said I shouldn't open it...!"