Chapter 69

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 69

Chapter Title: Oh, God (4)

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'Phew...'

Not only had my pants gotten soaked through.

Just like the doppelganger hero had said moments ago, I'd decided never to look back no matter what.

It seemed like...

'It's turning into the thing I fear the most...'

The unidentified something behind me right now...

appeared to be some kind of anomalous phenomenon that transformed into whatever its target feared most before coming here.

'Just ignore it...'

Until just moments ago, the thing I'd feared most had been...

the idea of getting kidnapped by the wife monster the instant I returned to the safe zone. It was a bit ridiculous now that I thought about it, but...

even at this very moment, one of my biggest worries was what excuse I'd give to the wife monster.

"...This bastard's seriously fucking insane, huh?"

I recalled a video I'd seen online once—it was exactly like my situation now.

When you're in the middle of a crowded road with your stomach cramping so bad you're about to shit your pants, nothing else comes to mind.

No matter how delicious the food smells wafting by...

No matter how attractive the opposite sex walking past...

A person whose head is filled only with the desperate need to reach a bathroom can't think of anything else.

That was me right now.

'...Gusumganjille? Ugh... even that feels like it'd eat me...'

"Yeah, yeah. Scared of getting eaten— you crazy fuck?? Is that the kind of getting eaten you meant???"

'Ah... she's really pissed off. What should I say to calm her down...? Aaah... maybe I should just live here forever...? Yeah... they're treating me like a god, after all...'

"You're a crazy bastard. Right now, behind your back, I'm like... waa... waaaaah?? Waaaaaaaah????"

'She's really chatty.'

"Hey. Are you clueless? Or is this some advanced trolling? Can't you hear that I'm reading your thoughts right now?"

'Fuck off.'

"???????????"

The noisy chattering from behind almost made me turn around without thinking.

It wasn't so much the terror of a monster speaking perfect Korean right behind me...

More like, if my plan had failed, I wished it'd stop being pathetic and just leave already. I wanted to tell it to get lost quick.

At that moment.

'...No way?'

"?"

A thought flashed through my mind. On a hunch, I decided to focus clearly on one specific idea.

'Whatever happens, I must never let VY get discovered...'

"..."

The thing seemed to have read my thought quietly...

"..?"

Whether it really went to the VY code or not.

I could see the pitch-black darkness surrounding us reverting to the forest's original state.

"Did it really go...? To Bellierd Library, of all places..."

I didn't know what kind of monster it was, but it'd gone to the owner of account M1... Well, it'd handle itself.

If it just stayed quiet, half the time it would've gone to Bellierd Library anyway, right?

"Die for sure, you bastard...! Haa... my pants are soaked because of that thing..."

Of course, whether a noisy chatterbox like that could survive was another question.

"...It won't turn on."

The reason my status window hadn't opened earlier was probably because my sanity had hit rock bottom.

Even now, it still wouldn't open.

'That was... really close to being a big problem.'

I took off the knuckleduster from my hand, put it back on, and tried opening the status window again...

Beyond the translucent gray window...

I could see countless doppelganger corpses strewn before me.

And along with them...

"...What the...?"

My vision started to blur.

"What's this? What happened?? ...What's going on...?"

And so...

in the midst of this sudden massacre, the last thing a bewildered me saw was...

'...This fucking...?'

...the self-proclaimed saint doppelganger's corpse, dead with my foot—clad in full-body monster leather armor—stuffed in its mouth.

'Clever bastards...'

Clever.

They were truly... clever ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠creatures.

They'd worshipped me like I was a god... until the unidentified monster stole all their attention.

Then they tried to eat me.

Of course...

'Thanks to the armor, I survived...'

The armor had kept me from being devoured.

There were traces of the self-proclaimed doppelganger saint desperately trying to chew through my foot...

But luckily, this six-legged monster leather armor had durability that no ordinary impact or tool could pierce.

So even when all attention was stolen from me, I must've held out just fine.

"I should've noticed from the start..."

The paper had said it clearly.

They no longer needed a god.

They would no longer follow any god.

Yeah... that's right.

I should've remembered that part and stayed on guard against the monsters...

Stupidly, I'd let my guard down around them instead.

And nearly died as a result.

"Haa..."

Thankfully, the horror tale had cleared properly.

My return uses had gone from 6 to 7.

"Ow... my back hurts..."

Whatever the case.

From humanity's perspective... we'd conquered a horror tale that needed conquering, so that was a relief.

And I'd survived without dying, which I decided to count as a win.

As I squatted in the bathroom, hand-washing my underwear and pants over and over...

'...Still, something doesn't sit right.'

I realized there was one nagging thing that kept bothering me.

That being...

'What the hell was that bitch...?'

The unidentified something that had mimicked the wife monster's voice... and tried to consume me with fear.

'Some kind of business partner?'

Was that bitch actually the god the doppelgangers worshipped?

Why had the doppelgangers told me not to look back in the first place?

No... were they even doppelgangers?

"No clue..."

My head throbbed from the endless chain of worries...

"Um... Big Whale?"

Minah's voice came from beyond the bathroom door.

"What's up?"

"There's... a guest at home..."

"...A guest?"

I hadn't told anyone I'd cleared the horror tale and returned yet, and it wasn't exchange time, so the only possible visitor was...

'Ah, no way. Bellierd?'

Remembering it could only be Bellierd Library, I stopped hand-washing and stepped out of the bathroom.

"...?"

The Bellierd Library monster was making a somewhat displeased face...

"...Hey?"

"...That voice?"

"Hey... you, if you were friends with Bellierd, you should've said so..."

"Imposter...!"

"Yeah... thanks for remembering me that way. Good thing... I'm not the killing type, right?"

I was dragging it here by the hair of its long, pointed ears.

"It tried to kill me...!"

"Hey, hey...! Don't say it like that, please...! Please...!"

"...?"

I had no idea what was going on, but...

This was definitely the monster from the 'Oh, God' horror tale that had impersonated my wife monster's voice to try eating me.

"A-And...! If anything, technically I'm your lifesaver, you know???"

"?"

"Hey...! All you had to do was turn around right away...!"

"...Turn around? Why would I?"

"Uh-uh...! Time, time...! You know...! You know all about it...! No, but...! I was really trying to save you...! Don't turn your head...! Ah, seriously...! Elves die if you twist their necks the wrong way, you know?? Time...! Please...!"

"...?"

But...

I had absolutely no idea what the situation was.

"Human...! I was really trying to save you...! Please...! Hear me out to the end, pleeeeease!!!!"

"...I'll at least... hear you out."

"Huaa... Thanks..."

...

The 'Oh, God' horror tale.

Apparently, countless gods had passed through it.

Of course, 'gods' in name only.

Most were just monsters who'd entered to feel what it was like to be worshipped as one.

But... the problem started about a few decades ago.

"...A few decades is ancient history, isn't it?"

"Typical short-lived species. Sitting there calling a few decades 'ancient'."

"...You trying to die even quicker in front of a short-lived species right now?"

"Right. It's a story from way back."

By doppelganger standards, an unbeatable monster had nested there.

It massacred doppelgangers for decades, enslaved them, toyed with them, acting like an evil god.

Growing bored of the decades-long slaughter, that monster one day escaped via another human who'd entered an OD horror tale, using their body.

'That must've been the Monster Gallery admin's body.'

"That was... 4? 5 years ago? Something like that."

"Hmm..."

And then...

"From that point, the doppelgangers started devouring incoming lifeforms again."

"...No way?"

"Yeah. Same pattern every time. First, they'd ask some creepy question to chill the target."

The doppelgangers began eating humans who entered the godless horror tale.

"Acting all innocent and pure. Pretending to follow a new god."

'...No way?'

"Then eat 'em. As if they'd actually believe in a god?"

"...So what about you?"

"You have a status window, right?"

"...Yeah?"

"It has returns too, yeah?"

"...Yep."

"All I did was scare ones with status windows and returns like you, hoping you'd GTFO the horror tale quick. Humans hit return the moment they feel overwhelming fear."

"...Ah."

"That was my only job there. Leave monsters to die when caught, save humans and send 'em back."

"So that's why you called yourself my lifesaver?"

"Yeah."

In that place, the elf had been playing the role of 'savior'.

Saving humans and sending them back in situations where death was certain...

"...Then why did the doppelgangers tell me not to look back?"

"If they met my eyes, I could've just force-returned them home."

Turns out... the elf had been doing genuinely good deeds.

"How do you send them back?"

"You have sanity too, right?"

"Yes."

"I can send anyone with lower sanity than mine back wherever they came from."

"Ooh... you're a big deal, huh?"

"Right? Elves are... a pretty terrifying race."

"You can just manipulate other people's status windows at will too, Elf-nim?!"

"Yeah!"

"Even hit return for them?!"

"Hit it!"

"Mess with input boxes too?!"

"Mess with... Hm?"

"You can peek at other people's status windows too?!?!?"

"...Is that possible?"

"Tch... can't even do that?"

"...What? Me, me... ...Can't you praise me a bit more?"

"Still, you saved a bunch of humans, right?"

"Roughly... 15?"

"Ooh... thanks from the bottom of my heart for that."

No matter how strong the elf was...

Conquering horror tales with overwhelming beings like the wife monster seemed impossible.

Whew...

'Saving over a dozen humans means not just China, Korea, Japan—there are people from other countries here too.'

I'd gleaned some useful info from the elf chat.

I vowed to report it to the community admin—

"All cleared up, right? It was all a misunderstanding."

"I'm heading back now too. Who knows when another victim shows up in OD."

"Uh... about that..."

"What's wrong?"

"It's already cleared there, so you probably can't enter. Most likely..."

"What? That place hadn't been cleared in 80 years—"

"..."

"...How'd you do it?"

"...Huh?"

"You killed all the doppelgangers... even the evil god couldn't wipe out...?"

"...I thought you handled it, Elf-nim...?"

"????"

"????"

"Want some popcorn?"

"Us humans love munching popcorn during thrilling moments like this."

"Man... so if a bunch of you remaining elves teamed up, you could probably start a massive war with the monsters and win?"

"50 elves alone could smash every horror tale already."

"How many are left?"

"Everyone but me's dead."

Oof... shouldn't have asked.

Better change the subject.

"It's fine. They all died 800 years ago anyway. No sadness left."

"Fucking monster bastards... exterminating elves wasn't enough, now they're after humans too..."

"Nah, ours was a civil war. About 400 years of infighting, and everyone but me died."

These damn elves...!

Ao...!!!

Aoooooh!!!!!

"...Aren't elves supposed to be... nature-loving... kind to each other... that kind of race...?"

"What're you on about?"

"Like... using mana... casting magic..."

"Mana? ...What's that?"

"...How'd you read my mind?"

"Humans have super low sanity. Easy to read."

I'd met a fantasy creature.

But this elf knew nothing of the fantasy I knew...

'...So no Big Whale who meets an elf, awakens... and breezes through horror tales...?'

"...You think... uh..."

'Then I have zero reason to be nice to this elf?'

"..."

'If I make items from elf parts... can I influence other people's status windows too?!'

"...! Be-Bellierd...! Me, me...! Quick, input the code...! Hurry...!"

"Stop eating popcorn and hurry...!! That guy's a total psycho...!"

Since beings tied to codes could leave safe zones even during lockdown.

I bid the fleeing elf farewell with a "see you next time" and gave it the code to access the Korean Gallery.

After all... it'd saved multiple humans before.

It probably knew about other humans we didn't.

Waiting for the day I'd talk to that elf again, for now...

"Smack... still doesn't make total sense..."

I resumed pondering the 'Oh, God' horror tale.

"What's wrong?"

"Just... a bunch of things don't add up."

"Like what?"

"For sure... when the doppelgangers first met me, they managed to grab me from behind, right?"

"...Sounds dangerous."

"Kinda. If they'd just stabbed me with the weapon they were holding me with?"

"...You'd have survived thanks to the protective gear, no?"

"Yeah... probably. Hmm... can doppelgangers recognize items other people are wearing... something like that?"

They were highly intelligent beings.

What was a creature with human-level intellect thinking, not attacking me right away?

What was their goal in hyping me up?

Why go all out pretending to make me drop my guard?

'...Did they mistake me for not human... but a monster?'

As various doppelganger-related worries swirled...

"Why not just ask them directly?"

"...Pardon?"

"Just ask the doppelgangers themselves."

At Minah's suggestion to question the doppelgangers directly...

"Can't re-enter the horror tale... how?"

"You know 4 doppelgangers."

"Oh? Ah!"

"...How'd they mistake smoked chicken legs for fresh...?"

"Pfft..."

That explained why the monsters died en masse.

But seriously, chicken legs look obviously long-dead to anyone—yet they stupidly ate them—

'Ah, I said they were freshly torn from my body when I shared the chicken legs...?'

Thinking back, yeah.

To play the hypocrite, I'd acted like I was sacrificing part of myself.

Tricked the kids into eating the chicken legs as my fresh flesh.

'Damn... so I lied first, huh?'

Pretty much learned all I needed.

Time to finish hand-washing and share the doppelganger info on the community...

"...What? Uh... Minah?"

"What's wrong?"

"...My... pants and underwear that were here... where'd they go? ...Do you know?"

"Huh? I didn't touch anything... ...You left your pants and underwear in the bathroom?"

"Uh... yeah."

"...Why?"

"...Ah, aah...! Mi-Misunderstanding. Got eaten by an anomaly for a sec... ahaha..."

"...You okay?"

Think, me...!

While chatting with the elf... what went into the bathroom?

Who was...

'Bellierd... did go to the bathroom once...?'