Chapter 67
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 67
Chapter Title: Oh, My God (2)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Really, seriously...
I wish I'd sustained a serious injury to my arm while tackling this ghost story.
Really, seriously...
I wish my leg had taken a serious hit while tackling this ghost story.
Then...
'How could my wife be scarier than the ghost story itself...'
When I returned to the safe zone.
Using the injury as an excuse, I wouldn't have to dive back into the role-playing ghost story, right?
And on top of that, if I put on a pitiful act... and even won some sympathy from the wife monster?!
'Perfect...! I'll just get hurt enough not to die and head back...!'
Yeah...!
Anyone hearing this might think it's crazy...!
But... I wasn't stupid enough to defy the owner of the M37 account.
'...Since it's come to this, should I really just close my eyes and do it...?'
If not that...
Then really just close my eyes and do it once with the wife monster—
Rustle...
While lost in such random thoughts alone.
I whipped my head around in shock at the sudden rustling of leaves behind me.
'...A mountain beast?'
Fortunately, the rustling had come from right behind me.
But there was nothing behind me at all...
'...'
This development...
It felt awfully familiar.
Where was it from?
Oh, right... movies.
Horror movies, specifically.
'No way...'
The protagonist hears an unidentified noise behind them caused by something.
Turns around, sees nothing behind them, relaxes, and looks forward again...
Only for a killer, monster, ghost, or angry wife to be standing right there. That trope exists sometimes...
'Nah... no way, really, no way...'
Was it just my imagination that a cold gaze was prickling the back of my neck right now...?
'Status Window.'
I immediately opened the status window, finger hovering over the return button.
Then took a calm deep breath and slowly turned my head to look behind me...
"..."
Regrettably...
My instincts...
Were chillingly spot on...
"H-hello...?"
To be precise... they were beings—plural—holding primitive weapons.
Bows and arrows... a hideous-looking spear.
And what made these beings even more terrifying was, of course... their appearance.
"..."
Their eyes looked about three times larger than human eyes, but empty without eyeballs, filled with a deep darkness that seemed to suck you in...
They clearly had two nostrils, but no nose...
Two ear holes, but no ears...
Not just missing noses and ears... no hair either, yet their mouths were shaped just like normal humans'...
'...They really look like Voldemort.'
If I had to compare... they resembled Voldemort from the Harry Potter movies.
Imagine Voldemort's eyes three times bigger, then gouging out the eyeballs. Easy visualization.
'What the hell am I even thinking right now?'
Damn... I really am gutsy.
These monsters have weapons pointed at me, and here I am daydreaming...!
'...If they wanted to kill me, they would've done it the moment I turned my back.'
The silver lining was...
These Voldemort monsters... didn't intend to kill me right now.
If they did, they would've struck when my back was turned.
So...
"..."
"..."
Finger still on the status window's return button...
As I maintained silence, watching the monsters who were staying silent...
"...You look hideous."
'That's my line.'
Was this a highly intelligent monster species...?
One spat out words with precise pronunciation...
"I will ask."
It tossed a question my way.
"Are you our new god?"
"..."
My mind raced at the monster's question.
Right when I first arrived here, the species I saw mentioned needing a god.
But the last part, steeped in madness, said the opposite—no need for a god.
'...Which one do I follow?'
In this info-starved situation.
The monsters before me didn't look maddened or insane.
"What... would you like me to be?"
I threw the question back, gauging their reaction...
"..."
I faced the group of monsters staring silently through me again.
'...Okay, they won't kill me... Phew...'
Right now, I was wearing all the maximum defensive gear I could.
Having already tested it in a previous role-playing ghost story.
The Six-Legged Monster armor was designed for shock absorption, and the helmet had proven some defensive capability...
Even if they attacked, I could hold out and return.
So...
'...Why are they thinking so damn long...!'
Were they communicating via telepathy among themselves?
About ten minutes of silence from the monsters started making me antsy.
Then the one in front holding the spear...
"God."
Answered my counter-question.
"We... want you to be our new god."
"...I see."
"I will ask once more. Are you the new god?"
From their answer...
It seemed I had to play the god role here for now.
To gather info on what happens when I do.
"...Yes. I suppose I am."
I gave the answer that I'd be their god.
Then...
'Stop staring already... My face is gonna get pierced.'
The monsters who had been staring silently... all lowered their weapons in unison...
"What should we call you?"
"Big... Whale...?"
...
'...What?'
After hearing "Big Whale" as the answer.
The expressionless monsters turned and vanished somewhere.
For a moment, I thought about following, but...
'Doesn't... feel like they're telling me to follow...'
They never once looked back to check if I was keeping up.
No reason to follow, then.
'Yeah, they speak so well. If they wanted me to follow, they'd say so.'
I watched the disappearing monsters for a bit...
Snapped a photo of them with the status window camera on the sly.
Then...
Started posting about the encounter on the community board.
['Oh, My God' Ghost Story 2nd Report]
(Photo)
Monsters using bows and spears as weapons.
Height around 160~170cm.
Appearance resembles Voldemort.
Like Voldemort but with pale green skin, eyes roughly 3x human size but no eyeballs. No ears either (note: not one eared). No nose (nostrils present, 2 of them).
They stood silently in front of me for a really long time, communicating via telepathy maybe?
Evidence: When they lowered weapons, everyone did it at exactly the same precise timing.
Like idols doing synchronized choreography—unless pre-rehearsed, high chance of telepathy.
First words from the monster pointing a weapon at me upon first meeting:
'You look hideous.'
From this, definitely highly intelligent.
Next question was something like 'Are you the new god?'
I answered along the lines of 'Yes, I am the new god.'
Situation didn't allow full details.
Will update with more once safety confirmed.
The guy who says he can't explain in detail due to the situation still notes 'not one eared'...
This is Big Whale-style human verification lololololololol
I like Big Whale one-ear too.
Eh? Oh, one-ear?
Yeah! For real, Big Whale one-ear gives off that pure male scent you all don't know about. Big Whale's human too, can't wash properly here, this is where his essence gathers. I love it so much sometimes I go *sniff sniff*... haaa... but scared of lawsuit, no more.
Damn... is that guy really human??? For real???
Scared of lawsuit, roflololololololololololololol
Honey... a-are you... okay?
Yeah... I'm fine.
Then... come... hooome.
Uh? Uh... oh, people say they need more info...?
Yes?
Big Whale. You know, right? Gotta gather max info for humanity.
Yeah, unavoidable. We risk lives too when we enter.
Phew... Big Whale. I'm heading in soon. Probably. Prepping for when I do? Probably?
Yeah, paving the way for Anon 7 to come.
S-see...ems unavoidable...
Sorry honey. I'll finish quick and come.
Wife monster? If official wife, it's all good?? Huh?????
W-what... do you... mean?
Urging your husband is a wife's job? Huh???????????????????? You messed up big time. Was gonna yield official wife this week but confiscating.
T-that's... what...!
Go!!!!!!!!
Damn...
Damn...
Wow...
Mod, you trying to be funny lately? lolololololololololol Where'd your serious image go lolololol
Hold up. Mod sees IPs. Mod, who is Anon 3?
I know.
???????????????????????????????
But as always, I must protect everyone's personal info. Won't say.
Ooh please tell us...! Mod please tell us...!!
lololololololololololololol Mod comment has sweating Anon 3 upvote lolololol
Thanks...
lolololololololol
Crying upvote lolololol
No? Means I'm fine? Decided today—when Big Whale returns, gonna fuck him raw yyyyyyyyyyyyyy Can't give his purity to wife monster first.
Nooo
No? You got no place interrupting our love.
Stop... let's... talk.
Talk?? Talk?????
Damn... Thought Big Whale was the only one who could beat monsters...
lololololololololololololololol
Koreans... having fun in a profound ghost story post.
Whoops.
Whoops...
Ah...
But fun so I'll enjoy too!
Foreigner appeared!
"..."
Of course, I started the memes first.
But seeing the post turn into a party while tackling a ghost story...
'Fun times!'
Good atmosphere—relief.
Before, when someone entered a ghost story, the community froze in worry.
But after the great victory in the not-war war with monsters.
Hope of escaping this damn world filled conversations... making readers smile automatically.
'Mod's probably diligently compiling info too.'
Riding this momentum, if I 'adjust' their sanity soon?
Currently solo-tackling, but soon more people would invest heavily.
'Gotta craft more items then.'
Then, as the only item crafter, I'd have tons of work—
Rustle...
"...!"
I turned at the rustling again...
"...?"
This time, not ambushing from behind...
Two slightly shorter pale green monsters approached me slowly.
Tense, waiting for what they'd say...
"Big Whale sir, Big Whale sir..."
"Big Whale sir, Big Whale sir!"
Bright, childlike voices came from the two monsters.
"I'm so hungry..."
"I'm so hungry too!"
A bit relieved—
"I want to eat Big Whale sir's right arm..."
"I want to eat Big Whale sir's left leg!"
"..."
"Big Whale sir is our god... so you'll grant it, right...?"
"Big Whale sir is our god! You'll grant it, right!?"
"...You guys eat rocks by any chance? This. Look."
"No..."
"No!"
"No plans to try from now on?"
"Don't wanna..."
"Don't wanna!"