Chapter 45

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 45

Chapter Title: Unfair Hospital (3)

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I'd been assigned to room 403 in the N Wing of Unfair Hospital...

'Haa... Now how the hell am I supposed to get up to the fourth floor...'

A sense of dread was starting to creep in at the thought of dragging my immobile leg all the way to room 403.

"...What's this?"

"We'll help you with the payment."

The receptionist monster handed me some kind of paper and offered to assist with settling the bill.

'...Payment?'

Caught off guard by the sudden mention of payment, I looked up at the receptionist's face.

"..."

The monster's face—where eyes, nose, and mouth should have been—featured a single massive mouth instead.

Inside that enormous maw, razor-sharp teeth like a shark's were packed in tight, putting on quite the show of why I absolutely should not piss this thing off.

"...How much?"

"Three fingers or four toes."

The monster demanded payment not in money, but in body parts.

For a split second, I considered reaching out and using Craft on it right then and there...

But with multiple monsters watching this place, any rash hostile move could lead to disaster.

Especially in my current state with one leg out of commission—I'd be fending off dozens of them.

"...Would this work, by any chance?"

The best I could do right now was pull a stone from my status window and ask if it could cover the cost.

'Guess I'll have to sacrifice four toes.'

That's what I resigned myself to if the stones didn't cut it as currency.

"430 stones."

The receptionist monster quoted 430 stones and...

Split...

...slowly began prying open its massive mouth.

"Ah...! Y-Yes..!"

Looked like I had to toss the stones right into that mouth.

The moment I pulled 430 stones from my status window to feed it...

A thought suddenly struck me.

"...Thank you sincerely for your kind service."

"That's what we're here for."

"And this is a little token of my gratitude."

I quickly grabbed 600 stones from my status window and shoved them into the monster's mouth.

Crunch... Crunch...

The receptionist monster chewed the stones with a terrifying sound, then...

"!!!!"

...bolted upright and...

"I'll escort you to your room."

...hoisted me up with its spindly arms—easily over 200 cm tall—and started carrying me off somewhere.

'...Did it work?'

Tip.

Extra cash given as a gesture of thanks.

Never met a person who hated tips in my life.

Never seen a monster in the safe zone turn down a tip either.

And this...

"Thank you for using our services, customer."

"Um... could I ask a small favor?"

"Of course."

...applied to the monsters working at Unfair Hospital too.

"It's really tough moving around on my own... Could I borrow some crutches or something?"

"I'll get them right now."

"Ah, I'll pay right here."

"Crutches are 40 stones."

"Here, 100 stones. Gotta cover delivery, right?"

"Thank you."

Things...

...might not be so bad surviving here after all.

"Does this even work for taking over the hospital?"

After posting my survival confirmation to the community, I turned to check the rulebook posted on the wall.

'Rules 1 through 9 are exactly the same as the basic ones from the safe zone. But... damn, there are a ton of extras.'

Rules 1 to 9 matched the safe zone rulebook perfectly.

But from 10 onward, new rules were added.

So I focused and started memorizing them one by one.

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10. If someone wearing a pure white gown asks you where the phlebotomy room is, ignore them.
There is no phlebotomy room in our hospital.

11. Eating is strictly prohibited in the underground parking lot.
Occasionally, patients attempt to sneak food there.
Our staff are sensitive to the smell of blood, so please be cautious.

12. Do not approach the black-haired man wandering the Ga Wing.
He is a patient who visited our hospital due to amnesia, but for some reason, he screams loudly whenever contact is attempted.

12-1. This patient often hides in areas staff rarely visit.
If you spot the hiding black-haired man, please call a Unfair Hospital nurse immediately.

13. When using the hospital's internal elevators, always go with a nurse.
The mirror fears nurses due to surgical side effects.

14. Room 208 in the Na Wing houses a patient with somnambulism.
This patient is under strict management by our nurses to regulate sleep, but please remain vigilant for emergencies.

14-1. Between 2:00 AM and 9:00 AM, if you encounter a patient in patient garb with '208' written on the upper right chest, press yourself flat against the wall and hold your breath.
The room 208 patient will perceive you as a wall and pass by normally.

14-2. Between 2:00 AM and 9:00 AM, if a patient in patient garb with '208' written on the upper right chest enters your room, immediately open the window and jump out.
The room 208 patient is convinced you're there, which is why it entered.

14-3. Between 2:00 AM and 9:00 AM, if a patient in patient garb with '208' written on the upper right chest is crawling toward you at high speed, do not let it grab you under any circumstances.

15.

16. Rule 15 is blank.
External influences keep altering rule 15's content, so it's intentionally left blank. Ignore any updates to rule 15.

17. Unfair Hospital's emergency stairs are open to everyone.
However, if using the stairs, make sure to close your eyes more than twice every 10 seconds.

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'A lot to watch out for.'

If all my limbs worked, gathering info would be easier.

But hobbling around on one leg with crutches made it tough.

'Gotta stick to safe hours for now.'

1:00 AM to 2:00 AM.

9:00 AM to 9:00 PM.

I'd explore during those safer windows, and before sleep, barricade the door to keep anyone out.

'Current time... still safe.'

Fortunately, the clock read 7:00 PM.

About two more safe hours ahead.

Confirming that, I slowly opened the room door to scout the hospital.

"..."

A nurse monster—just like the receptionist, face replaced by a massive mouth, identifiable by its uniform—

had apparently been walking the hall, stopped dead center, and was staring right at me.

Screech...

Pretending nothing was up, I casually shut the door and started practicing crutch-walking inside the room.

'Do nurses take tips too?'

The receptionist did.

No info on nurses yet, so better play it safe.

'Wish this were a world where money solved everything.'

Better not give the nurse monsters any info on me anyway.

Keep my scouting low-key.

'Decent at this now.'

About 10 minutes of solo crutch practice later, feeling solid, I opened the door again...

"..."

"..."

Again, the nurse monster awkwardly crossing the hall's center... froze when I opened the door... staring straight at me.

Right then.

'...No way...?'

A thought flashed through my mind.

"Ah... ow ow... ow ow ow... Someone help... please...?"

Acting natural with some mutters, I gauged the nurse's reaction.

Sure enough.

"I'll help you."

It rushed over like it was waiting for this. Confirmation.

'Rumors spread fast here.'

I was already known as the generous tipper patient among the monsters.

"Aigoo... What do I do with all this gratitude? All I got are stones—will you take these?"

"No need."

'No need,' it says, while gaping its mouth wide open.

'Damn... you guys are real capitalists, huh?'

"Here you go."

Crunch... Crunch...

"I'll serve you to the best of my ability."

Of course.

"Aigoo, mind if I lean on you then?"

I was a guy with nothing but cash to spare.

"Ah, one more favor?"

"Of course."

"Fingers like this. Yeah, yeah—both hands? Ah, yes like that. Mouth a bit open... drool too. Perfect! Hold on... got it. Here, 500 stones."

"500 is too much."

"Nonsense. It's all thanks to you selfless nurses sacrificing for patients, right?"

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I threw in some kingly bluffing in the post.

Better to show my situation as positive rather than grim—that'd hook the bastard for sure.

And sure enough.

The guy who realized things were serious after seeing my post...

...took the bait.

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