Chapter 94: Finally, He Gets to Eat
"Back already?"
As soon as Rembrary returned to the dorm, Jungseo came over and asked.
"The dating show? What do you think it'll be like?"
"Hmm. It might be rather entertaining."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Well, what do people usually eat on dates, I wonder?"
"Right? I suppose so?"
"You don't know?"
"I've never been on one."
"What, then what have you been doing all these years that you've never once been in love?"
At Rembrary's question, Jungseo made a face that said, Are you really the one who should be saying that?
But he couldn't bring himself to call his benefactor a hypocrite, so he just smiled awkwardly and answered.
"Romance can wait, but idol careers don't last forever."
"How true."
"Yeah. Wait, why are we talking about food?"
"While filming, I might possibly get to eat pizza."
When Rembrary started humming along to the pizza jingle from the TV commercial, Jungseo hurriedly blended some tomato juice and handed it over.
"Drink this first and hold out."
"I want pizza, Jungseo."
Jungseo laughed again, looking guilty.
The truth was, Rembrary had sung that pizza song so relentlessly that they'd once tried to order him a pizza. But Jong-woo had dug in his heels, insisting it was absolutely off-limits until this promotional cycle ended, so it never happened.
They'd just barely taken first place on the music shows, Dear God was still filming, and a virtual dating program was right around the corner.
It was all because of Jong-woo's endless nagging that strict management was non-negotiable.
Regrettable as it was, Jungseo had no choice but to comply. Ideally, no one would have to watch their weight while promoting — but if they let that slide, their hard-won popularity would plummet overnight. That was still the reality of the entertainment industry.
Jungseo deliberately changed the subject with a brighter tone.
"Who's your partner?"
"CEO Shin Jo-woon…"
From nearby, Taein, who'd been eavesdropping on their conversation, dropped the remote control.
"Who?"
"And CEO Jang Tae-ri as well."
"What?"
"I am fresh and new."
Jungseo and Taein, who hadn't yet heard the specifics of the concept, looked at each other and shook their heads.
What on earth is that supposed to mean? No idea.
Jong-woo — no, Jong-woo hyung — kept butting in, so I decided to film my video diary in the bathroom.
Hyung is always like this. He nags so much.
There's a movie poster where the mouth is sewn shut. I liked it so much I got a copy and brought it home.
When hyung asked, "What are you going to do with that? Isn't it too scary to hang up at home?", I said I'd imagine the character in the poster was him, and he tore it up.
He has a terrible temper, too.
Wait, is this going on air? Please cut this part out.
Oh. Right, I should talk about the dating thing.
Jungseo printed out a few pizza menus for me to pick what to eat on the date. I'm choosing carefully, reading all the reviews.
Jungseo is kind.
Please include this part in the broadcast.
I picked the pizza.
I'm going with one that has shrimp in it.
But now that I think about it, there are two people I'm supposed to get pizza from. Isn't it a problem if I only pick one kind?
Resuming the record two hours later.
I've decided to ask CEO Jang Tae-ri for shrimp pizza, and CEO Shin Jo-woon for shrimp pizza as well.
When I told Hye-gyeol about this, he called me a blockhead.
He's the blockhead, not me.
Please, please include this part in the broadcast.
Today is a Dear God shoot day.
I was up before dawn washing up when Cathy asked me, "What's it like, living without common sense?"
It wasn't a question I could answer, so I relayed it to Taein instead — and the two of them started fighting.
All I did was pass the message along.
Afterward, Jong-woo hyung came in, scolded Cathy for starting the fight, then got mad at me too.
Nine hours have passed. Continuing.
On the way back from the shoot, hyung asked me, "Do you know what you did wrong?"
I told him I didn't know what I'd done wrong, but I did know his hair had thinned by a fistful — and he got angry again.
Today was the first shoot of the dating show.
Rembrary, out of pure habit, grabbed his selfie camera and was heading for the bathroom when Jong-woo, who'd been lying in wait, caught him.
"I'll just check what you've been doing. Just a quick check."
He couldn't delete anything, but he could review the footage.
Jong-woo spent several days going through the video diaries Rembrary had recorded, heaved one heavy sigh after another, and finally handed the camera back.
"Well, it's out of my hands now. All I can do is trust the PD…"
"Is my diary not to your liking?"
"You filmed all this and you thought I'd like it?"
"I did not think of you at all."
When Rembrary said it with a smile, Jong-woo looked down at him for a moment, his face full of things he wanted to say, then pointed a finger toward the bathroom.
"Go wash up and come out."
After that, they stopped by a shop where Rembrary received 'a makeup look that wasn't overdone, stayed natural, and brought out his face to the fullest,' and then headed to the studio where the recording would begin.
As always, Jong-woo made Rembrary promise to behave before they went into the studio, and Rembrary agreed. Up to this point, everything was exactly the same as usual — only the shooting schedule differed.
And then something was off.
The moment they stepped into the studio, the atmosphere on set was completely different from any other shoot.
Rembrary looked around, bewildered. The staff members who used to marvel — Oh wow, it's Woo Yeon-woo! — or glance over with vague displeasure — Ugh, Woo Yeon-woo. — were today staring at him with their jaws set.
Wondering what had gotten into them, he tilted his head, and a staff member who'd greeted him at the first meeting crept over to explain.
"We're shooting the scene where Jang Tae-ri and Woo Yeon-woo go on their first date. We deliberately set it in a pizza place."
"Ah. I see."
When Rembrary answered blankly, the staff member added in a voice trembling with barely contained vibration:
"You're eating BOTH the shrimp pizza and the shrimp pizza. CEO Jang Tae-ri is buying you both."
Fine, that's all well and good, but why is your voice shaking like that? Rembrary judiciously swallowed the question back down.
"Understood."
After that, he climbed back into the van with a single VJ tagging along to help him.
The VJ explained the situation while they drove.
"Other dating shows start the first meeting as an actual first meeting, but with you and CEO Jang Tae-ri, it's going to play like a first meeting that isn't a first meeting. Though of course, the viewers will be watching knowing it is one."
"How complicated."
"You have to make it look real, but you can't forget it's fake. Otherwise it turns into a genuine dumpster fire."
The concept alone is already a dumpster fire, Rembrary thought, nodding along anyway.
The VJ held out a script spanning two sheets of A4 paper.
"Here you go."
Rembrary took it and unfolded it.
He'd known from the moment they said they'd build his character off his selfie videos and assign his lines that it wouldn't be one hundred percent free-form.
But now that he actually had the script in hand, it felt less like a variety show and more like shooting a drama, just like Dear God.
"Huh?"
But the script the VJ handed over was clearly different from a drama script.
"The lines are all scattered about?"
"Right. Just make sure you deliver the mandatory lines written there, and everything else is entirely up to you."
Jong-woo, listening beside them, cut in anxiously.
"If our Yeon-woo happens to say something problematic…"
The VJ laughed and waved his hands.
"Our PD never does malicious editing. If anything, we're the ones who do the cutting."
But when Jong-woo still couldn't relax, the VJ added firmly.
"Really, you can trust us. If there aren't enough usable scenes, we'll just put in the ones where he delivers the mandatory lines."
"Ah. I see."
"Yes. Besides, this is also a fight for screen time."
This time Rembrary cut in, exclaiming:
"A fight for screen time?"
"There are eight cast members and the relationship web is all tangled up. Right now the mandatory lines are distributed pretty evenly, but when it comes to editing, more screen time goes to whoever has the most usable footage — and after that, whoever gets the better viewer response ends up with more dialogue. You should worry about that rather than malicious editing."
Jong-woo murmured, half resigned and half proud, a smile tugging at his lips.
"If anyone's securing screen time, it's our Yeon-woo. That's not a worry."
At last, the van pulled up in front of the pizzeria — the shoot location.
Before getting out, Rembrary held up the script toward the VJ and called out.
"But are you sure I really say it like this here?"
"Yes. That line is mandatory."
Rembrary nodded, gathered up the script, and stepped out of the van. The VJ raised his camera, and Jong-woo hurried out after them.
"Just walk right in. Once you're inside, go over to CEO Jang Tae-ri naturally."
Understood, Rembrary murmured, and entered the shop.
Less than thirty seconds after Rembrary walked in, the customers who'd been glancing at him recognized his face and shouted things like, "Whoa, it's Woo Yeon-woo!"
Rembrary waved and smiled at them, then spotted Jang Tae-ri and headed her way.
She was dressed even more strikingly than she had been at the first meeting, and the moment she saw him she beamed and called out, "Yeon-woo!"
At her voice, the customers who'd been sneaking glances at Rembrary went wide-eyed.
"Is that a drama shoot?"
"Nah. Not enough staff for that."
"Is it a variety show?"
"Looks like one?"
The sound of people murmuring buzzed noisily from every direction. Rembrary paid it no mind, walked briskly up to Jang Tae-ri, and gave her a brief hug and release, exactly as the script specified.
The people around them grew even more astonished and started buzzing louder.
But with the VJ holding his camera up in plain view, nobody seemed to think it was an actual romance.
"You said you were craving pizza, right?"
Jang Tae-ri asked warmly as she settled back into her chair.
The VJ did say to act like a first meeting that wasn't a first meeting. So this is what he meant by that, apparently.
At their previous encounter they hadn't exchanged a single word beyond greetings, yet now Jang Tae-ri was acting as though she'd met Rembrary a good ten times before.
Rembrary sat down across from her, glanced over the script for a moment, and answered.
"Yes."
When he'd first received the script, he'd assumed it would be no different from filming a drama.
But now that the shoot had actually begun, it felt oddly strange to have mandatory lines and actions while otherwise just floating free.
Worse, the lines didn't flow in sequence — the script simply said 'deliver this line here and there' — so it was tricky to figure out exactly when to say anything.
For example, today Rembrary had five mandatory lines at the pizza place:
1. I like coming here with you.
2. Are you going to go meet that person after you meet me?
3. Is that person me?
4. (Action) A light hug at the first meeting.
5. That person cannot make you happy, Tae-ri.
He'd done number four on the way in, at least.
That left four lines still to deliver.
But they'd have to be done naturally, or it would come across as bizarre.
Rembrary let out a short sigh and looked at Jang Tae-ri. She was gazing at his face with a soft, smiling expression.
She must have a script of her own too, but judging by how quiet she's being, she's just as unsure about who should speak first.
Rembrary turned the four remaining lines over in his mind and decided to start with the trickiest one.