I Tried Doing the 108 Bows
Suddenly his hair? Oh Jung-shin's eyes went wide as he stared at Rembrary. Was he seriously thinking of messing with his hair?
It was obvious what would happen if Rembrary — a man already torn apart by the entire nation over his personality — pulled off the kind of stunt that wouldn't look good even on a small child.
Oh Jung-shin scrambled backward, putting as much distance between them as he could in a hurry.
The moment he'd put enough space between them, Rembrary's question finally finished.
"Should I shave mine too?"
Thankfully, the abbot didn't seem offended at all, and answered with a smile.
"There's no need to shave your head for a temple stay."
"No, I mean — I'm planning to become a monk myself."
At this declaration, even the abbot looked startled.
The cameraman, who'd been filming everything in sight off to the side, jumped and whipped his head toward Rembrary.
"You're going to become a monk? Isn't your job... an idol?"
"Once my career as an idol ends, I'll become a monk."
Beside them, Oh Jung-shin muttered under his breath, So that's why he's so chaste.
Rembrary shot him a brief sideways glance, then turned his attention back to the abbot.
When an idol who'd come to film a variety show out of nowhere suddenly declared his ambitions of ordination, the abbot looked rather bewildered.
But he didn't seem displeased, and asked with a smiling face.
"I take it you're a Buddhist, then."
"Ah. No, I'm not."
"I beg your pardon? Then why on earth...?"
"Well, it's..."
Because I want to talk to a god — can I really just say that?
Rembrary hemmed and hawed for a moment.
He'd seen Jong-woo hyperventilate one too many times at things he'd said without thinking, so he couldn't quite decide whether it was safe to say this or not.
In the end, Rembrary made the wise choice.
"I'll tell you later, in private, Father."
Oh Jung-shin tilted his head. Was there actually something wrong with that lunatic? Maybe the crazy was only skin-deep and something was rotting on the inside... People did curse him out so viciously all the time — maybe he was just looking for peace of mind...
Whatever Oh Jung-shin was thinking beside him, Rembrary leaned toward the abbot and pressed on.
"In any case, Father, there are a few questions I'd like to ask you."
"Ask away."
"Do I need to shave my head?"
"Hmm. If you're serious about ordination, then yes, you must."
"Father, have you ever spoken with a god?"
"Do you mean the Buddha's teachings?"
"Any god. Any of them."
"Hmm."
The abbot gave an awkward laugh.
Rembrary glanced at the camera with visible annoyance.
Before, he hadn't cared one way or the other whether a camera was nearby, but lately, every time he opened his mouth he could see Jong-woo suffering, crying don't do it!, and even when he said nothing at all, the cameras kept nagging at his attention.
Finally, Rembrary leaned in close to the abbot and lowered his voice.
"I have something I must say to the Buddha. Father."
"To the Buddha himself? Is it something important?"
"Yes. It's a matter of the lives of hundreds of thousands — no, millions of people."
Had he said a mere five or six, the abbot would have taken him somewhat seriously.
But the numbers were simply too large to take at face value.
Deciding the young man was probably just being dramatic — he was an idol, after all — the abbot gave a suitably diplomatic answer.
"Try listening to the voice within, good sir."
"I did. He doesn't answer me."
"Then perhaps you might try the 108 prostrations?"
"What are the 108 prostrations? I already tried answering a god some 1,008 times."
"No, I mean bowing. Prostrating yourself."
When Rembrary just looked baffled, Oh Jung-shin fixed him with a suspicious glare.
The guy wants to become a monk and he doesn't even know what the 108 prostrations are? Even Oh Jung-shin, with no religion whatsoever, knew what they were.
The abbot, apparently thinking along similar lines, let out a hollow chuckle — then led Rembrary straight to the main hall.
In the center at the back of the hall stood an enormous golden Buddha statue, and beneath it, plates of offerings lined up — fruit, rice cakes, candy and the like. Before them, a young monk was repeating the same motion at steady intervals.
The abbot casually informed Rembrary, "You do that 108 times."
Rembrary stared blankly at the young monk's movements, then spent a moment wondering whether there might be some other religion out there where you could actually talk to a god.
***
After all the twists and turns, Rembrary's temple stay for the day had somehow turned into the 108 prostrations.
The two main MCs, having no idea where their guests had gone, were busy helping the novices prepare the temple meal in the kitchen — and the atmosphere over there was as lively and warm as a mukbang broadcast.
"By the way, what are Yeon-woo and Jung-shin up to right now?"
"They're the same age, so I'm sure they're getting along nicely, doing whatever."
"Novice, novice, do you happen to know Oh Jung-shin?"
"Oh my, Oh Jung-shin is here? Goodness, go bring him over right this instant! My kid is a huge fan!"
"What about Woo Yeon-woo? Do you know Woo Yeon-woo?"
"That one? Isn't he the Sloth's sponsor?"
"What's a sponsor? Someone who keeps a pet sloth?"
While the novices, a mix of all ages, giggled and cracked jokes, the MCs chatted about their two guests and joined in the fun.
Rembrary, for his part, was in the main hall learning how to prostrate properly so he could do his 108 bows.
The only person wishing himself dead through all of this was Oh Jung-shin, who had been standing nearby and somehow gotten roped into doing them too.
Why the hell am I even here?
Oh Jung-shin cursed inwardly, his pupils trembling.
If he quietly slipped to the back, it would look too obviously like he was dodging hard work — but meekly bowing away alongside everyone else felt genuinely insulting.
If there had been any other activity, he could have pretended to go join it, but being entirely irreligious, he couldn't think of a single other thing to do at a temple.
In the end, Oh Jung-shin changed into the comfortable robe they gave him, spread a large cushion on the floor, and wept on the inside.
Thankfully, the meal was finished before the 108 bows began, so they got to eat first — but the main MCs didn't save Oh Jung-shin either.
"Wow, the 108 bows? He's doing the 108 bows? That's impressive!"
"I hear your back aches and your legs scream — no joke. He's really getting the full temple stay experience. Good for him."
The two MCs heaped praise on him as if doing the prostrations were some grand achievement.
But Oh Jung-shin didn't miss the way they snuck glances at each other and snickered.
For a show to invite the two of them separately, in secret, despite knowing full well that Oh Jung-shin and Rembrary had had a spectacular falling-out — the whole thing was shameless from the ground up.
The more the two of them tangled, the better the ratings. There was no way the producers would ever give them a chance to be apart.
Just thinking about it made his blood boil, so Oh Jung-shin silently shoveled down the bland food, pick by pick.
"Oh Jung-shin, you're eating your temple meal well. Is it good? I made that one."
"Yes... it's tasty. It tastes... healthy."
"And you, Yeon-woo? How's the food? Good?"
"There's no seasoning at all."
"Aaah, Yeon-woo! A novice made that!"
"There's no seasoning at all, novice."
***
Then another unfortunate event piled itself onto Oh Jung-shin.
An evening dharma service for lay Buddhists meant the main hall was off-limits.
But pushing the 108 bows to tomorrow wasn't an option — there was far too little footage of Oh Jung-shin and Rembrary from today's shoot.
The staff huddled and whispered among themselves, then finally asked them to do the bows at night. Oh Jung-shin cursed them 108 times in his head.
It wasn't widely known, but Oh Jung-shin was actually a terrible coward.
And this was a temple deep in the mountains.
Once night fell, hardly anyone was around the main hall, and the staff who'd been milling about set up their cameras and promptly vanished to who-knows-where.
Apart from two cameramen holding small handheld cameras, only four people remained in the cavernous main hall: Rembrary and Oh Jung-shin, plus the two lensmen.
And why, of all nights, did the weather have to be this windy? The whhhhsh, whhhhsh of trees swaying kept drifting in from every direction.
"Ugh... I'm losing my mind."
Having muttered it out loud at last, Oh Jung-shin reluctantly slid his cushion over to the side closest to Rembrary.
Being next to Rembrary meant the annoyance outweighed the fear, at least. It was an improvement.
Rembrary did glance sidelong at him, but didn't make much of it — he simply settled onto his own cushion, folded his hands comfortably, and began.
He called once upon the god he served, once upon the Buddha, and then, just as he had been taught, began to bow.
It was his first time, but Rembrary doggedly counted them off — two, three, four — filling the tally one prostration at a time.
He was somewhere around bow seventy-three when he noticed.
Oh Jung-shin, who had seemed to be bowing along earnestly at first, had started slowing down around the thirty-fifth — and now stood frozen in place, rooted to the spot.
Why isn't he doing them? What's he standing there for?
Rembrary glanced to the side and found himself locking eyes with Oh Jung-shin.
The moment their eyes met, Oh Jung-shin pounced, as if he'd been waiting for exactly this.
"Don't you need the bathroom?"
"Not really."
Rembrary answered flatly and lowered himself into his seventy-fourth bow.
But around the seventy-eighth, Oh Jung-shin called out to him again.
"Come to the bathroom with me. Can't you?"
When Rembrary gave him an odd look, Oh Jung-shin scrunched up his face and stamped his foot.
Around dinnertime, Oh Jung-shin had gone to the bathroom and nearly fainted.
It was far, far too distant to begin with, and on top of that, both of its dim lightbulbs had gone even dimmer — and the whole thing was an old-fashioned pit latrine.
Inside the wooden toilet was a blackness like the abyss; even shining his phone flashlight down into it revealed absolutely nothing.
Meanwhile, smell and bugs alike came rising up out of it.
At least back then there'd still been daylight. Now it was pitch-dark night.
It had been frightening even in broad daylight when people were swarming all over the grounds — and now they wanted him to trek out there on a dark, deserted night?
The need was growing urgent, but he was too terrified to go alone.
He assumed a cameraman would tag along, but he hated the thought — they'd smell his fear and film him relentlessly, delighted by it.
"Hyung, you can't go to the bathroom by yourself?"
"It's a pit latrine out there, and the lights are about to die."
"Hyung, you're being really high-maintenance."
At Rembrary's deadpan remark, Oh Jung-shin's pride finally flared, and he spun around sharply.
Rembrary watched Oh Jung-shin from behind for a moment as he put on his shoes to leave the hall, glanced once at the distant spot where the bathroom stood, then looked back at Oh Jung-shin and offered some advice.
"Hyung..."
"What!"
"If you're shaking with fear, people will think you're easy prey. Better to act normal, so don't even think about it."
"...Don't think about what? No — don't answer that."
"The ghost."
"I said don't answer!"
Shrieking, Oh Jung-shin ran off toward the bathroom, cursing Rembrary inwardly as a rotten lunatic.
Rembrary shrugged and was about to resume his 108 bows when his eyes met the camera lens pointed at him — and he flinched, just for an instant.
Jung-seo had brought up the whole image-management thing, and it stuck.
Rembrary weighed it: which looked worse — a grown man too scared to go to the bathroom alone and dragging someone along, or a grown man who told a frightened elder to go to the scary bathroom by himself?
Both looked bad in different ways.
But if he accompanied Oh Jung-shin to the bathroom, wouldn't the only one who came off looking like a coward be Oh Jung-shin?
With that calculation neatly settled, Rembrary sprang up and hurried after Oh Jung-shin.
But as he drew near the bathroom, he sensed something strange — an energy from somewhere.
It resembled his own Divine Power, slightly — very slightly — and yet it was different.
And mixed into it was something else entirely, a wholly alien energy.
Rembrary furrowed his brow and went toward it.
There was a strange barrier strung across the way.
When he stepped past it, a booming voice rang out.
"Who dares enter this place! Begone at once!"
It was the voice of the very abbot who had explained the 108 prostrations to Rembrary.
And standing before him, with a smiling face, was Sa Gam-jae.
"I didn't come here because of your young disciple today, so calm yourself, Abbot. You're getting on in years — keep this up and you might just end up as my traveling companion on the long road."
End of 74. I Tried the 108 Bows.