Hollywood Style?
Rembrary stared at Lim Yu-han with his eyes stretched wide as dinner plates.
Yu-han felt a flicker of regret, but it quickly gave way to a resigned smile. She'd liked it — had wanted, a little, to play with the idea. But if it wasn't going to happen, so be it. Disappointing, yes, but nothing more than that.
The answer that came back, however, swerved just past her expectations.
"That's right, it was written on my shampoo."
"...?"
"It said baby powder scent. That's what you smell like, senior."
"Hmm."
Yu-han narrowed her eyes at him. Did he just... not hear a single word of what I said about dogs?
If he had heard it, he should have been shocked out of his wits.
Everyone who judged her by that fresh, delicate face of hers acted the same way. They treated her holding a cigarette like the sun rising in the west, and flinched in agony whenever she swore, as though a hailstorm of blood-red stones had come pouring down.
And then, of their own accord, they got disappointed. If they'd said, smokers and foul-mouths are off-putting, fine — she could understand that. That was their prerogative.
But the disappointment itself, she never could. What exactly were you hoping for, that you'd be disappointed in me?
So what was this one? Was he more interested in her baby powder scent than in her dirty mouth?
Yu-han found herself pleasantly startled. Maybe — just maybe — this man in front of her wasn't the type to size people up by their exteriors and tailor their images however he pleased.
"Senior, do you use the same shampoo as Shik?"
Or maybe he was just an idiot.
The variety program CEO Im had shoved Wild Animal into for promoting the new album was a talk show — one famous for its ruthlessly blunt, no-filter conversation style. It was the kind of show that openly blared out rumors and spewed titillating stories with a grand old why bother coming on if you're going to beat around the bush, and had even drawn a formal warning from the broadcasting commission.
For a rookie idol group just starting to gain traction, it was a genuine all-or-nothing gamble — which was why Jong-woo had fretted terribly even while entering the schedule onto Wild Animal's official website.
In fact, about two weeks ago, that same talk show had already tried to invite Yeon-woo on as a solo guest.
The topic: "Hot Issue, Hot Star." They'd apparently wanted to seat a rumor-magnet surrounded by nonstop controversy and mine him for juicy conversation, but Jong-woo had cut the offer off at the pass.
Back then they'd been slammed with filming and album prep, true — but the real reason was that he could see, plain as day, what would happen if Rembrary were unleashed on that topic.
Rembrary would roam the set like a wolf loosed among the flock, and when the episode aired, the public would be astonished to discover that he was even more of a lunatic than they'd imagined.
Jong-woo had wanted to prevent exactly that. And now CEO Im had gone and dumped the entire group onto that very show...
Three days before the recording, Jong-woo finally pulled Rembrary aside and drilled his resolve into him with all the firmness he could muster.
"Yeon-woo, that talk show is famous for being vicious."
"Jungseo told me. That they speak sharply."
"That's right. You won't know what they'll hit you with, or how."
"Fear not. Whatever they may say, it shall not touch me."
"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me — my sanity, after listening to whatever comes out of your mouth."
When Rembrary fixed him with a flat, dead-eyed stare, Jong-woo sighed and repeated himself, word by word.
"Oh Jung-shin's fans are waiting with their eyes on fire for you to slip up. Watch your mouth, absolutely. No — better yet, just don't open it at all. Yes. That's it. Just sit there smiling. That'll do nicely."
He had no particular ambition to showcase variety-show charm anyway, so Rembrary readily agreed.
It couldn't be simpler.
"But what if they direct their questions at me?"
"Then look at me. If it's a question you absolutely have to answer, I'll give you the OK sign. If I say no, you do not answer. Ever."
That wasn't enough for Jong-woo, though. He went around the office getting every staff member to write five anticipated questions each, then drafted a batch of sample questions himself based on previous idol-group appearances on the show.
He compiled everything, wrote out the answers in advance, and made Rembrary memorize them cold.
He did ask Rembrary's opinion in places where his input genuinely mattered, but for the most part he smoothed every answer over until nothing could possibly snag on it.
Even so, Jong-woo couldn't relax until the day of filming.
Either way, the schedule was set, and go they must.
On recording day, the members — giddy over their first variety outing in ages — stopped by the salon for that artfully underdone "barely any makeup" look.
Rembrary, as the group's visual, got the most lavish treatment of all, and was dressed in a suit sponsored by a luxury brand.
The moment Rembrary appeared anywhere, gifs and screenshots flooded the internet within minutes, so an endless line of brands had volunteered to sponsor his variety wardrobe.
The stylist had even factored in his upcoming role as Im Seo in Dear God, styling Rembrary to look the picture of a clean-cut, brainy elite.
"Let's do this."
After steadying the members with a few words, Jungseo led them into the studio.
He greeted the MCs, the staff, the PD, and the writers, dutifully asking for their kind support. As Wild Animal's first solo guest appearance, this was a show where — depending on the cast and crew's whims — the group's image could turn on a dime. They needed to get on these people's good sides in advance.
Fortunately, the mood during the greetings was friendly.
"Oh my, you're all even better-looking in person."
"I love the new song, by the way? The B-sides too — every single one."
"I never listen to idol music, but I played your whole album this time."
"It's about time, honestly. A group with real skills and real looks? I'm rooting for you."
Everyone treated them warmly and kindly, and the members relaxed.
They even received a rough sample script outlining the general flow — whether things would truly go that way remained to be seen, but at least they had a sense of what to expect.
The time given to memorize the script was kept short for the sake of authenticity, but it was plenty for reading through a few times and grasping the structure.
After one more touch-up to makeup and hair, the recording finally began.
"Please welcome the name you see every time you open the internet — Wild Animal!"
The members had been waiting just outside the set, and at the main MC's shout they filed in, bowing this way and that. The panel of side MCs — the same ones who'd been chatting and greeting with them all along — clapped with elaborately astonished faces.
One of them even produced light sticks from who-knows-where and waved them around for effect.
Rembrary took the seat the FD had pointed out to him earlier — the one with the best camera angles.
The first order of business was a simple greeting, after which the main MC asked the members to introduce themselves. They complied with that now-famous animal-imitation bit that Rembrary had found so excruciating.
When his turn came, Rembrary did his sloth impression.
"Aaahh. Aaah. Aaaaahh."
The MCs who'd been dutifully cooing adorable and so cool — and even the staff — burst out laughing, and the atmosphere turned thoroughly festive.
Just as agreed with Jong-woo, Rembrary clamped his mouth shut from then on.
The questions rolled out light and heavy in turn: How's the mood now that you're suddenly blowing up? Isn't it lucky the album did well, given how much Yeon-woo hogs the spotlight? How do the members react when he's the one trending? Do you all fight at the dorm? Is the Cathy dating rumor true?
Whether a breezy question or a gasp-inducing one came flying at them, Rembrary's mouth stayed firmly sealed.
Even when the MCs pointedly aimed their questions at him, it made no difference.
Rembrary simply sat there wearing his signature benevolent smile, and the other members fielded everything for him, seamlessly.
Jong-woo breathed easy — but the staff watching the scene were whispering among themselves.
"Isn't that kind of disrespectful, though?"
"I think he's been muzzled. The manager keeps staring daggers over there."
"Muzzled for sure."
"Still, though. He's the one everyone's watching, and if he just sits there silent, how's he supposed to get any airtime?"
To the talk show's producers, who'd banked on Yeon-woo's star power, a docile Rembrary was a colossal letdown.
Finally, the PD flashed the MCs a signal: raise the intensity.
The main MC caught the PD's glance and, with a casual air, lobbed out a question that wasn't on the script.
"You were trending recently over that whole kissing-a-cat incident."
A similar lead-in had come up once already, so the members shot the MC puzzled looks.
But the question that followed was different from before.
"Why'd you have to go and kiss the cat, exactly?"
Earlier, they'd asked for the full story and then showered him with praise. This time, they were zeroing in on the kiss itself.
And this was a question Rembrary could hardly refuse to answer.
It was also — conveniently — one of the sample questions Jong-woo had prepared.
Rembrary answered within the bounds Jong-woo had sanctioned.
"I knew a kiss was necessary, but I didn't want to use my own mouth."
Weak, thought the MC, snickering as he pressed on. "But why a kiss? Why did it have to be a kiss?"
"Because a kiss is the key to miracles."
"Whoa. Yeon-woo, you're surprisingly innocent."
"Nah, that's not innocence. My ten-year-old at home wouldn't fall for that."
The MCs teasingly accused him of playing coy and badgered him to quit lying and come clean.
From here on, nothing had been pre-approved, so Rembrary glanced over at Jong-woo.
Jong-woo gave him an OK sign — go ahead, keep talking.
If Rembrary denied it now, backpedaling here, he might genuinely end up with an image of deliberately playing innocent. Whatever it was, it had to flow naturally.
If Jong-woo says it's fine, then fine it is. Relieved, Rembrary answered honestly.
"It's thanks to Hyegyeol. Hyegyeol taught me."
"Hyegyeol told you a kiss is the key to miracles?"
"Taught you how, exactly? And you just... believed that?"
"Well, you see, Hyegyeol said to me—"
Mid-sentence, Rembrary caught Jong-woo's shut-up signal, hesitated, then closed his mouth with a smile.
The timing was exquisite.
Hyegyeol said what? What did he do? The MCs — and even the staff — were seized, for one maddening instant, by the burning need to know.
But when it became clear Rembrary had no intention of continuing the story, a side MC seized the momentum instead, firing off another question to squeeze more airtime out of him.
"You've said you believe in abstinence before marriage — where did that conviction come from? Was there some defining moment?"
"Your solo track's lyrics are a hot topic, and word is you wrote them yourself. I was completely floored, honestly. But why did you write something so chilling?"
"People say if they close their eyes, your voice comes floating back, so they're calling your singing eardrum morphine. You heard about that?"
Every one of these was a question Jong-woo had anticipated, so Rembrary handled them with ease as well.
When Rembrary refused to crack, the MCs swung back to the members instead, badgering them about who was closest to whom — come on, be honest, sure you're all close, but pick just one.
In the middle of this, a staff member carrying out the PD's orders sidled up to Jong-woo and, with practiced subtlety, maneuvered him out of the studio.
It had become far too obvious that Jong-woo was the one controlling Rembrary's silence, so they'd temporarily removed the obstacle.
Jong-woo ground his teeth at such a barefaced sabotage — but if he shoved past the staff and stormed back onto set now, a nasty rumor would inevitably start circulating among the production crew. He was caught between a rock and a hard place.
In the meantime, the MC pounced on the opening and asked Rembrary about the drama.
"You're filming a drama right now, aren't you? Anything uncomfortable about the set?"
Rembrary faltered for a moment at Jong-woo's absence, but this was one thing the other members couldn't answer for him — and that, of course, was precisely why the MC had asked.
In the end, Rembrary answered as carefully as he could manage.
"It's fine. Everyone is very kind."
"Still, with that many people gathered on set, there's no one who's even a little difficult?"
"Ah. There is one person I received a sponsor investigation alongside, so seeing their face is a touch awkward."
"!"
— End of Chapter 72: Hollywood Style? —