The Interview
As soon as he hung up the phone, Jong-woo shouted in sheer disbelief.
"You told me to let the kid rest!"
CEO Im answered without a shred of shame.
"He can rest after the interview, can't he?"
"......"
Jong-woo's lips flapped wordlessly.
He says that, but is he actually going to let them rest once the interview is over?
No. Knowing him, he'd be paddling like mad while the water was rising, dragging the kids around while shouting, This is prime noise marketing! Chop chop!
* * *
At that very moment, Rembrary was sitting quietly exactly where Jong-woo had told him to stay — do not move from this spot under any circumstances.
As he sat there, the door opened and the young men who had been up on the stage filed in.
"So this is where you were."
They had apparently come looking for him on purpose.
The moment Rembrary laid eyes on them, he let out a small sound of realization.
"Ah."
Come to think of it, he'd been too startled a few hours ago to pay it any mind, but —
Every single one of these young men had a different hair color.
One had brown hair, one black, one pink, and the last one yellow.
Rembrary stole a glance at the mirror mounted on the wall.
The young man called 'Woo Yeon-woo,' whose body he now occupied, had snow-white hair.
These five were evidently the ones called Wild Animal, and yet —
it struck him as very strange that not one of them shared a hair color.
While he sat there mulling it over, the black-haired young man stepped closer and spoke to him.
"I don't know the details, but I heard you lost your memory."
When Rembrary blinked, the brown-haired young man clicked his tongue.
"He's not just doing it on purpose again, is he?"
"Tae-in."
"What, he pulls this stuff all the time."
The black-haired young man shot the brown-haired one a warning look, then pointed at the others one by one, introducing them by name.
"That's Tae-in, our lead vocal. The pink hair over there is Hye-gyeol — he's our maknae and the dance guy. Watch your mouth around him. Even if he swears at you, just remember that's how he always is."
"The hell's that supposed to mean, you leader bastard."
"See? Like that. The yellow hair is Cathy, our main vocal. And I'm Jungseo, the leader of our group."
The black-haired one who'd called himself Jungseo looked at Rembrary with an expression that asked if he'd understood.
"If you've got more questions, go ahead and ask."
"This 'Wild Animal'... what precisely is it?"
"It's our group's name. The five of us are the members. And you know that guy with the glasses, right?"
"Jong-woo?"
"Oh? So you do know Jong-woo's name. Yeah. Jong-woo's our manager."
"You keep saying 'idol' this, 'idol' that. What is an idol?"
"Uh, well... they dance and sing? A singer, basically."
"Ah. A singer."
Singers who danced and sang had existed in the world Rembrary came from as well.
He absorbed this quickly.
The black-haired leader scratched his head with an awkward laugh.
"It's all such trivial stuff that teaching you feels weird."
"May I simply come to you with my questions from now on, then?"
"Uh, sure. I mean, that's fine and all, but..."
"What? Is that not permitted?"
"It's just... your way of speaking. Maybe you should change it?"
"My way of speaking?"
The yellow-haired young man named Cathy snickered and cut in.
"It's suuuper annoying, it is."
The young man called Hye-gyeol smacked Cathy on the ankle and grinned.
"You're not exactly a delight yourself, hyung."
"Ahh. My manner of speech," Rembrary murmured, idly touching his own throat for no particular reason.
Apparently, in this world one was expected to speak in that frivolous manner.
Rembrary deliberated for a moment.
That way of talking... that frivolous way of talking...
He was supposed to abandon his venerable, time-honored speech for that?
He refused.
Besides, this manner of speaking was something he employed deliberately, in keeping with the principle that the High Priest stands as the god's representative.
And now they wanted him to change it because it was annoying?
"In time, you will grow accustomed to it."
When Rembrary declined so roundly, the leader asked back in dumbfounded disbelief.
"...We have to listen to it until we get used to it?"
Just as he was about to say more, the door clicked open and the manager, Jong-woo, stepped in and called for Rembrary.
"Yeon-woo. Woo Yeon-woo. Over here. You've got a schedule."
At the word schedule, the young men who had gathered around him all turned to stare at him at once.
"What do you mean, a schedule?"
It was the pink-haired Hye-gyeol who asked, even though Jong-woo had called for Rembrary.
Jong-woo grinned and thumped Rembrary on the shoulder.
"This guy's doing an interview. Right now, this very minute."
The black-haired leader, Jungseo, went wide-eyed.
"An interview? Where?"
"Oh Sola."
Rembrary had no idea what that meant, but the members all erupted into a chorus of whoa whoa whoa whoa.
He was the only one standing there blankly.
Jong-woo went around tapping each of the young men on the shoulder, eyes gleaming.
"If Yeon-woo nails this interview, our whole group could blow up. You get that, right? One well-picked member can carry an entire group."
"Yes, sir."
"Go kill it."
"Lucky him."
"Talk us up a lot, okay?"
One after another, the young men patted the bewildered Rembrary on the shoulder.
* * *
He learned what 'Oh Sola' was during the car ride over.
"It's an internet magazine."
"What is the internet?"
"That's kind of hard to explain in words — I'll show you later. Anyway, it's an internet magazine, and honestly, it doesn't have the most high-class image."
"?"
"But their photographer? He's the guy. He's it."
Jong-woo gave Rembrary a thumbs-up.
"He's really that good?"
"Yeah. His pictorials come out absolutely insane. Don't let the word 'interview' fool you — normally it's just an interview with a few photos snapped on the side, right? But this guy shoots them like a full-on fashion spread, I'm telling you."
"What is a fashion spread?"
"...I'll explain that one while we look at it later too. Anyway, that's why he's famous among the fans."
"What is a fan?"
Jong-woo seemed to grow a little exasperated under Rembrary's relentless barrage of questions, but in the end he did his best to explain the concepts of the internet, fashion spreads, and fans.
"Ahhh......"
Rembrary was still thoroughly confused, but he nodded along for the time being.
According to Jong-woo, once you found this place called the internet, information of every kind came pouring out.
Evidently asking too many questions annoyed everyone, so it seemed wiser to go see the place for himself.
"Got all that?"
"Somewhat."
"Anyway, Oh Sola usually doesn't interview nobodies from small agencies or rookies."
"Mm."
"This is a real opportunity. Like the kids said — you land one killer interview there, and Wild Animal might actually climb."
Rembrary found this troubling, but he nodded.
Interviews themselves were something he'd done from time to time even as High Priest.
The believers who came seeking his words numbered in the thousands in a single day.
Since speaking with every one of them was impossible, he had regularly answered questions through newspapers and periodicals.
"I am quite good at such things. You may rest easy."
The moment Rembrary declared this with such confidence, Jong-woo abruptly grew anxious and drilled him on expected questions and model answers.
"They give you the questions in advance?"
"For most interviews, yes. Since you don't usually just call someone up and interview them on the spot, you're effectively given days to prepare your answers. But this one's a bit of an unusual case."
"Is that so."
"Oh Sola actually emailed over a few of the interview questions earlier. Ah, but they always sneak in a surprise question too."
"A surprise question?"
"Yeah. So, look — if a question comes that's hard to answer, just don't answer it. Got it?"
"Understood."
* * *
Where the car stopped was, predictably, in front of a strangely designed building.
It was not, however, as large as the place called the 'shop' he'd first visited, nor the broadcasting station, nor the agency.
Moreover, the sign bore an amusing picture on it, and the picture itself was illuminated.
Just as Rembrary was gazing up at the sign in wonder, Jong-woo hurried him inside.
The place Jong-woo took him to was the building's second floor, where a man and a woman were already waiting at the seats.
The man held some unidentifiable strange contraption, and the woman sat with a pen and paper in hand.
"Ah, welcome!"
As Rembrary and Jong-woo approached, the woman rose with a beaming smile, set down her pen, and extended her hand.
"Hello there! I'm Oh Hee-tae."
The man bowed politely, strange device still in hand.
"Seol Young-soo."
"Please, have a seat here."
The woman who'd introduced herself as Oh Hee-tae gestured to the chair across from Rembrary and asked,
"What would you like to drink?"
"What am I meant to drink?"
"I'm sorry?"
Jong-woo, who had been watching Rembrary with bated breath, hastily jumped in.
"You'll have coffee, right? Our Yeon-woo drinks coffee?"
And with that, he declared he'd go buy the coffee himself and zipped off toward the counter — without so much as asking what anyone actually wanted.
Oh Hee-tae stared after him, flabbergasted for a moment, before bursting into a sudden laugh.
"You guys are all so fun."
It looked to her like Jong-woo and Rembrary were simply messing around, trading jokes back and forth.
Since there seemed to be no particular need to correct her, he stayed quiet — and Oh Hee-tae, notebook in one hand, tap-tap-tapped the back of her strange pen against the table as she grinned.
"I watched that broadcast and nearly fell out of my chair."
"Broadcast?"
Now what was a broadcast?
Rembrary was thrown off balance, but he held his tongue.
After all, Jong-woo had warned him on the way over to hide his memory loss as thoroughly as possible.
When Rembrary said nothing, Oh Hee-tae laughed awkwardly and pressed on with her question.
"You've dominated the real-time search rankings from yesterday straight through today. Did you know?"
"Dominated them, you say?"
"You haven't checked yet?"
"?"
"You are completely the talk of the town right now, Mr. Woo Yeon-woo. You knew that much at least, right?"
"I did not. But it is hardly a matter that concerns me."
"Really? Impressive. You're an idol, after all?"
"People concern themselves with me always. That has hardly been the case for merely a day or two — why would I remain fettered to it?"
"?"
Oh Hee-tae blinked in bewilderment, then burst out cackling and asked,
"You're a fun one, aren't you? That — the way you're talking right now. Is that a concept?"
"?"
The conversation was not landing.
This time it was Rembrary who wore the bewildered face.
While the conversation floundered yet again, the man called Seol Young-soo kept pressing down on the object in his hands, again and again.
Each press produced a loud click-click, which had startled Rembrary at first, but he soon managed to tune it out entirely.
Fortunately, Jong-woo returned with the coffee, and the awkward atmosphere thawed.
He set cups down in front of Oh Hee-tae and Seol Young-soo, and handed one to Rembrary as well.
But though he held his own coffee, he merely stood hovering nearby, never taking a seat.
Before Rembrary could ask why he wasn't sitting, Oh Hee-tae posed her next question.
"So, back then. Yesterday. Why didn't you dance on stage?"
This was one of the expected questions Jong-woo had prepared him for.
"My body was unwell."
"But right before the stage started, you shouted, 'I don't know how to dance!' Why did you shout that? That line is absolutely on fire on social media and the forums right now — people are obsessed with what it could mean. Give us the answer."
That was also a prepared question, so Rembrary answered exactly as Jong-woo had instructed.
"I was asked whether I knew of the dancing of the famous idol NNC, and so I said I did not."
Oh Hee-tae smiled the smile of someone thinking, what a load of nonsense.
"You got asked that question 0.5 seconds before the song started? On stage?"
"Indeed."
Oh Hee-tae went hm-hm, nodding along, tapping her notebook with her pen, and furrowing her brow.
Jong-woo studied her expression carefully.
Something about the interview was clearly not sitting well with her.
"I'm not a big fan of obvious lies,"
Oh Hee-tae muttered — and by then Jong-woo's face had gone pale as a sheet.
And in fact, Oh Hee-tae was thinking, great song, great choreography, great face — there's a reason this guy never made it.
There were people who could deliver the exact same canned answer and still seize everyone's attention.
Oh Hee-tae thought of that quality as star power.
But Woo Yeon-woo's answers — while not even properly by-the-book — reeked of lies far too obviously.
If you were going to lie, either make it convincing or make it funny, at least.
If she printed these answers in the interview, the response was easy to predict, and it wouldn't be pretty.
In the end, Oh Hee-tae resigned herself — let's just get this over with — and after tap-tap-tapping the end of her pen against her notebook a few more times, she asked a question with all the energy drained out of it.
"Are you close with your members?"
"No."
"!"