Moving Day
"Hey, you absolute lunatic! I told you to diss me so it'd look like we get along — not act like some senior-junior pair who seem close but are secretly aiming for the back of each other's heads!"
"I did exactly what you told me to, hyung."
"What did I say! What did I say!"
"Mix in a little dissing, compare hyung with hyung, and everyone in the country knows how ridiculously generous the editing is to hyung, so— Hello? Hello?"
The voice cut out. Rembrary pulled the phone away from his ear and found the call had already ended.
As the 'Call Duration' counter blinked without climbing any higher, he pressed the home button, backed out of the call screen, and checked how the internet was reacting. Had he really said something that bad?
Rembrary switched the phone off and slipped it back into his pocket.
Doesn't seem like the reaction is all that bad, actually.
The next day was a busy one. It was finally the day Wild Animal would leave behind their cramped little dorm and move into a place that was wide and new.
The trigger, technically, had been the stalker who kept sending strange letters and Jong-woo's vanished pizza — but whatever the reason, the members were simply delighted that the rooms would be bigger. Everyone wants a private space of their own, and the old dorm had none to spare, which was why the members kept bumping into each other at every turn.
"Moving, moving, we're moving today!"
Amid the members packing their things to that giddy little tune, Rembrary tucked his meager belongings into the box he'd been assigned. The lid had a sloth drawn on it.
"Got everything?"
For a man who had no belongings here in the first place, Jong-woo was remarkably busy, bustling back and forth on his own as he asked around. Hye-gyeol, mid-song, answered loudest of all — "Yep! Done! Once I grab this, I'm finished!"
"Nothing else you need to pack?"
Still anxious, Jong-woo pressed on, and Cathy answered as he passed by hauling a box. "Nope-thing."
"Taein, you?"
"Hang on! Ten more minutes!"
"Jungseo?"
"All done."
"Yeon-woo, you... hey, don't pack that! What are you doing?"
"This is food Jang Tae-ri gave me."
"I said personal items only. The food and big furniture — I'll bring people by later to haul those over."
"But it is personal property."
"...Get. In the van. Quickly."
Stripped of his personal food, Rembrary trudged out sulkily, box in hand. Outside, the members had already piled into the van ahead of him. He was the last to climb aboard, and after shutting the door with a bang, he made his way to the seat at the very back.
Even after the van pulled away, the giddy atmosphere didn't fade one bit. How many rooms are there? Do we each get our own? What do you mean, private room — like being locked up? The members laughed, bickered, and teased each other so much that they almost looked closer than usual.
Cathy, cracking prison jokes while roughhousing with Hye-gyeol, turned to Rembrary too, grinning, and asked, "Hey, Yeon-woo, which room are you gonna live in?"
"Room sizes are all the same, more or less."
"Come on, there's gotta be some difference. You gonna go charging in to claim the biggest one for yourself?"
"A spacious room..."
Rembrary wore a wistful, self-deprecating smile.
Why is he muttering like he's carrying some tragic backstory? The members looked over, puzzled, and Rembrary answered serenely.
"However large it may be, it will still fall short of my Kriskella Kerkera Andrea's stall. What meaning would there be in it?"
"What the hell is that enormous name? A cousin?"
"A cousin, he says. It's a horse I raise."
"You raise a horse?"
"Well, stables are enormous in the first place, aren't they?"
At Taein's grumbling remark, Rembrary asked, "Shall I rephrase it more simply?" — and the members turned to stare at him again, even more bewildered.
"No matter how large the house we move into may be, all of it put together will not equal the size of my original bathroom. That is what I mean."
The moment Rembrary answered so matter-of-factly, the members made noises of open disgust. It was insufferable.
Even Jungseo, who always took Rembrary's side, found the remark grating this time.
"Ugh, show-off! I'm going first!"
Unable to bear it, Hye-gyeol let out a squeak and scrambled over to the opposite row of seats.
Between all the laughter and chatter, the van came to a stop in front of the new building before anyone noticed.
"This is it?"
"It's awesome!"
"Whoa, so cool."
The instant the van stopped, the members unbuckled and tumbled out, giggling with excitement. But just as Rembrary moved to follow them, Jong-woo twisted around from the passenger seat and called his name.
"Yeon-woo."
Rembrary sat back down. "What is it?" he asked, and Jong-woo pressed on.
"You brought your self-cam, right?"
His self-cam? He had brought it. When Rembrary tapped the box tucked snugly against his chest, Jong-woo asked again.
"You're filming the video diary?"
Rembrary tapped the box again. This time, Jong-woo's voice dropped a little.
"And you're gonna say weird stuff while you're at it?"
Is that why you called me back?
"I do not say weird things," Rembrary answered stiffly, but that wasn't the point of what Jong-woo wanted.
"Yeon-woo, you're a good actor, right?"
What is he about to ask for?
"You're better at it than Unicorn, at least."
That much was true, so Rembrary conceded with a nod — "True, quite true." — and Jong-woo made his proposal.
"Try acting like you all get along."
"Jong-woo, we do get along."
"Not with me — with the members."
"Where?"
"In the video diary."
What? As Rembrary arched an eyebrow, Jong-woo mimed holding up a camera and filming as he explained.
"We decorated this dorm really nicely, you know? So walk around with the camera going, show it off like, 'Look how amazing our dorm is!' Chat a little with the guys like you're all buddy-buddy, yeah?"
"However nicely you dress up a dorm, it is still a dogh—"
"We could put an actual doghouse inside the dorm with 'Woo Yeon-woo's Room' written on it."
"Very well. I shall act as though we are close."
"It'd be even better if you actually got close for real."
"Tell that to the other members."
"Just try opening up a little."
"I am always prepared to receive believers with an open heart, Jong-woo."
"As a friend!"
Rembrary offered no answer. He simply took the self-cam out of the box, powered it on, and handed the box back to Jong-woo as naturally as breathing.
Jong-woo caught it on reflex — and was just opening his mouth to yell hey! when Rembrary raised the camera and pointed the lens his way. Jong-woo bit back the scolding and hastily broke into a smile.
"It's not recording yet."
The moment he heard that, Jong-woo's face crumpled right back up.
"You little—!"
"Ah. Now it is."
"Cute little bastard."
As Rembrary walked off with the camera in hand, Jong-woo pressed a hand to his forehead. "Aigoo, this kid..." Clutching the box, he knocked the back of his head against the seatrest a couple of times, then gave Sa Gam-jae his instructions.
"Parking lot, over there. That side."
Meanwhile, Rembrary approached the building entrance, holding the self-cam awkwardly up near his face.
They said security was tight here. No fewer than four guards stood near the entrance alone. Three of them were big men in black suits. The fourth was relatively small and perhaps a touch too old for rough work, but he looked immensely shrewd, with the sharpest eyes of the lot — the kind of man you could tell at a glance had years and years of experience in this line.
Worried they might actually stop him, Rembrary scurried toward the door, camera in hand. But the guards, standing expressionless, only flicked their eyes over him and let him pass.
It's Yeon-woo.
It's Yeon-woo, right?
Isn't that Yeon-woo?
Seeing him in person, he doesn't look like a lunatic?
Apparently word had already gone around that they were moving in today, Rembrary thought as he stepped into the lobby.
September 18. Windy.
The screen keeps shaking today — that's because we're in the middle of moving.
Jong-woo hyung says the new dorm is going to be enormous and amazing.
Then again, it's still just a... hmm.
Ah. There's our leader over there, heading somewhere with a box in his arms.
"Jungseo!"
"Is that the video diary?"
"Yeah."
"You're allowed to film while walking?"
"Jong-woo hyung told me to."
"Ah."
Our Jungseo acts well, and sings... well? Anyway, for all that, he's actually got a lot of shyness in him.
He looks stern right now, but that's only the shell. The real Jungseo inside is soft and wobbly, like pudding.
Granted, I have never eaten pudding from this world. But I imagine pudding is much the same everywhere.
Still, if someone were to buy me pudding, I am fully confident I could eat it most deliciously.
Mr. Shin Jo-woon, if you send pudding, I shall pretend not to notice. I stand ready to be promoted from anchovy to wha—
"Yeon-woo! Elevator!"
Can you see me? Jong-woo hyung comes running and shouting. But why is his finger pointing not at the elevator, but at my mouth?
"Yeon-woo. Could you turn that thing off for a second?"
September 18.
We're inside the building, so the weather is unknown.
This is the elevator... and next to me is Jong-woo hyung...
I must keep my mouth under control...
The elevator stopped.
Now then, allow me to present Wild Animal's second dorm to you all.
Huh? Why is there a corridor on screen?
"Jong-woo hyung, which unit is ours?"
"That one. Third door."
So there are three homes per floor, judging by the three entrances. I thought we'd be taking up the whole floor, the way everyone kept going on about how big it was.
Three households sharing one floor is—
"Yeon-woo. Zip it."
I don't understand why I receive so much nagging from beside me while I am merely writing my diary.
From now on, unless absolutely unavoidable, I will never again record a live video diary.
I cannot even say what I wish to s—
"Yeon-woo. Zip it."
How suffocating.
Anyway, now I shall reveal the interior of the home.
To be honest, it's my first time here as well, so I don't know what it looks like inside... wait. Who is that person?
I know that face. That's Oh Jung-shin... sunbae?
"Oh Jung-shin sunbae comes out of his unit and stops dead when he sees me."
"Woo Yeon-woo?"
"Are you filming a video diary for that two-timing show right now?"
"It's called Dating Process, sunbae."
"And you're filming a video diary for it?"
"Yes."
"Who films a diary in real time! Is that even a diary?"
"My manager hyung told me to."
"So it's recording right now?"
"Yes."
— End of Chapter 150 —