Chapter 120 — If You Want to Follow Someone Without Raising Suspicion
Date: August... what day was it again? The broadcast edits the dates out anyway, so it hardly matters, does it?
Skipping the weather.
There is something I asked my second manager, Mr. Sa Gam-jae, to do. I won't say what. If this were a real diary I would confess it honestly, but this video will be shown to other people.
At any rate, when I asked whether he had handled my request properly, Sa Gam-jae answered with perfect confidence.
"No."
Sa Gam-jae is a man as dignified as a pious swimsuit. I cannot fathom how he answers 'no' so serenely to a question about whether he did his job.
...Come to think of it, he hasn't actually done anything wrong.
2:00 PM.
The same favor I asked of Sa Gam-jae, I also asked of Jungseo — but Jungseo says he hasn't managed to take care of it yet either.
What else is there to report... ah, I just remembered.
This morning, Jong-woo scolded me. Yesterday, while I was away, Taein, Hye-gyeol, and Cathy — the three of them — got into a fight, and this was because of it.
The moment Jong-woo arrived to pick us up, he planted a hand on his hip and started yelling.
"Are you five years old? Why do you people brawl every single day? Your fans are idol fans, not fight fans! You're supposed to pretend to get along even when you hate each other's guts — what is all this commotion!"
No. That is prejudice.
I do not believe idol fans would necessarily dislike combat. My former believers make that plain enough. Many of them were exceedingly skilled fighters. Wielding twin swords and whirling long spears, they rode into holy wars and cut down the enemy.
So when I offered Jong-woo my opinion — that since holy war is essential to believers, his fans might well enjoy fighting — I was scolded for it. I only make things worse when I open my mouth, he said, so keep it shut.
So I kept it shut, and after he had spent a long while chewing out the three of them, he turned his anger on me this time.
"What did I even do? I didn't do anything."
"You know exactly what, you brat. I'm scolding you because you did nothing!"
5:00 PM
Opinion on the summer song remains deadlocked. The staff and the members kept circling the same ground, trying to... tie a knot... some kind of cord — anyway, nothing could be tied off — so, unable to watch any longer, I excused myself from the meeting room.
I grabbed my self-cam, saying I wanted to film a video diary, and everyone let me go without a fuss.
May I be honest? Autumn is nearly upon us, and the notion of releasing a summer song at this point simply does not compute.
7:00 PM
I was on my way back to the dorm when a text arrived from Jang Tae-ri.
Last night, Jong-woo told me through Jungseo that I, along with Shin Jo-woon and Jang Tae-ri, might be appearing on a program called Time Machine for Just One Week. He'd also said nothing was certain yet, since Ms. Jang Tae-ri and Mr. Shin Jo-woon hadn't given their approval.
Judging by this text, however, Ms. Jang Tae-ri must have agreed.
Just as I thought. The moment I sent my reply, Jong-woo informed me that my appearance on Time Machine for Just One Week had been confirmed.
But what, exactly, does Time Machine for Just One Week do as a variety show?
10:00 PM
It was seven thirty when I reached the dorm, and eight by the time I had washed up and eaten my chicken breast.
After that, at Jungseo's suggestion, I watched several episodes of Time Machine for Just One Week. I visited the homepage and read the description as well.
The show's concept is that guests like me live for one week in a different era — the past, the future, and so on — while ordinary applicants, no fewer than fifty and no more than one hundred, join in and live out that alternate life together.
The applicants are selected across a wide range of ages and household types — whole families, mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, mothers and sons, brothers and sisters, friends, couples — a balanced cross-section of men and women, young and old. Or so it said.
Occasionally they run rare concepts such as "a village of only the elderly," "a village of only women," or "a village of only men," and for those they don't pick evenly — but usually they do.
The episodes I monitored were "A Future Where the Sun Rises Only One Hour a Day" and "A Fishing Village Where the Dragon King Is Ill," and the instant I watched them, this was my first thought:
Wow. That looks like hard work.
I hear my episode with Ms. Jang Tae-ri and Mr. Shin Jo-woon will be the Inner Palace edition. I do not want to do it. It looks terribly cumbersome.
August 19
Mr. Shin Jo-woon called and asked, "If it's the Inner Palace concept, what role do you want?"
When I asked why on earth that mattered, he said it was because our roles couldn't overlap.
So I told him honestly that I would be the king — whereupon this anchovy declared that he would be the king and ordered me to change my answer.
Then why did you even call?
In any case, I flatly refused to change it and hung up.
Before long, a call came from Ms. Jang Tae-ri — and what is this. Ms. Jang Tae-ri also says she will be playing the king.
Three kings, in a village small enough to fit in one's palm.
August 20
The Time Machine for Just One Week team wants to conduct a pre-filming interview tomorrow.
August 21
I have returned from the pre-interview and... I am in the car now.
The interview only just ended, so I am a little tired.
When I entered the interview room, there was a long table, and beyond it sat four people.
It was a far more formal affair than I had expected, and the very first question, once again, was this one:
"If we film the Inner Palace concept, what role would you like to play?"
I answered honestly.
"King."
"Is there a reason it has to be king?"
"Because I'm not accustomed to anything other than being king."
"Hmm. Then, Mr. Woo Yeon-woo — suppose you learned of a role other than king. What would you want to do?"
One must be careful when a question like that comes up while someone is trying to cast you.
If you answer differently, they are likely to conclude, ah, he doesn't have to be the king after all, and push you toward the other role.
So I said I had no thoughts beyond the king, and the next question came:
"In a previous interview somewhere else, we saw that you practice chastity before marriage. In that case, have you ever considered playing a eunuch?"
Sadly, at the time I did not know what a eunuch was. Now I know that a eunuch is a castrated man. What I did not know was that a castrated palace servant was called a eunuch. Every person has shortcomings, and mine was failing to grasp that eunuch and castrated palace servant were one and the same profession.
But one must appear confident and magnanimous during an interview, so I could not simply ask what a eunuch was.
Instead I probed carefully — "I'm not sure I understand what premarital chastity has to do with eunuchs" — and the PD kindly explained:
"They're similar."
And so I said I would be fine with playing a eunuch.
6:00 PM.
The PD's kindness extended no further than his smile.
What lay beneath it was thoroughly sinister and dark.
When I got home and asked Hye-gyeol, I learned that a eunuch is a servant of the king who does not have a... you-know-what.
Premarital chastity and lacking a you-know-what are entirely different domains, are they not?
9:00 PM
The PD has become the object of my resentment once more.
A text arrived from Ms. Jang Tae-ri.
I had no idea what it meant, but some fifteen minutes later Mr. Shin Jo-woon texted me as well.
When I demanded to know why he was calling me a eunuch, it turned out the PD had said: "Mr. Woo Yeon-woo graciously stepped aside from the king role for the two of you. He's agreed to play the eunuch instead."
I never stepped aside from anything. The PD is truly wicked.
11:00 PM
Mr. Shin Jo-woon keeps sending texts, teasing me about being a eunuch.
When I snapped at him to stop calling me a eunuch, he switched to barrow pig. When I snapped at him to stop calling me a barrow pig, he switched to neutered pig.
This is entirely the PD's fault.
I will absolutely never play a eunuch! Never!
12:10 AM.
Mr. Shin Jo-woon teased me so relentlessly earlier that, to convey my ironclad resolve never to become a eunuch, I sent the PD a message.
And then, perhaps thirty minutes later, a reply arrived from the PD.
I texted back that it was, and after another twenty-five minutes or so, this came.
It was the hour in which a High Priest on the verge of being made a eunuch against his will was frantically firing off text messages.
Woo Sung-woo sat facing Hwan-shin across a table in the dim lounge of a club, deep in conversation.
The lighting throughout the lounge was low to begin with, and the music that happened to be playing was quiet and melancholy, so the mood between the two men appeared quite bleak — but anyone who actually overheard their exchange would have said the atmosphere wasn't a bad one. They would merely have called it a conversation with a distinctly cultish flavor.
"Wouldn't it be about time you gave me an answer? It's been days. Yeon-woo... is he actually human?"
In response to Woo Sung-woo's question, Hwan-shin lied without so much as blinking, smiling all the while.
"Turns out he's human."
Woo Sung-woo glanced at the faceless youkai sitting beside Hwan-shin, shelling and eating peanuts.
For the moment the youkai showed nothing but a mouth, and it seemed far too busy eating to concern itself with anything else.
"I thought you said your partner wasn't human."
At Woo Sung-woo's words, Hwan-shin smiled and draped an arm around the youkai's shoulder.
"It was one glance. Anyone can make a mistake."
The youkai brushed Hwan-shin's hand off its shoulder, but Hwan-shin paid it no mind whatsoever, his face still smiling.
"I heard you don't usually make mistakes."
"I don't never make them."
"..."
Woo Sung-woo gave no reply, his face blank — but inwardly, he felt a measure of relief.
He could not describe how his heart had pounded these past several days while Hwan-shin dodged the question of whether his younger brother might not be human. And now, at last, came the firm confirmation that his brother was a person. How could he not feel relieved?
Hwan-shin watched him with evident amusement, then asked with a sly smile.
"Well then, I'm the one who's curious about something."
"And what might that be."
"Everyone knows Nakru is ruthless. And yet that celebrity — Yeon-woo, was it? — doesn't even seem to belong to Nakru."
"?"
"So why do you care so much? Normally, doesn't Nakru move to dispose of anything that's even the slightest inconvenience?"
Woo Sung-woo answered flatly, coldly.
"He's my little brother."
He would never have answered had Hwan-shin not asked, but it was hardly such a secret that he needed to dodge a direct question.
Hwan-shin's expression turned strange at the answer.
Woo Sung-woo noticed the odd look on his face, but he was in no position to demand what that face was supposed to mean, so he rose from the sofa wearing the same expression as before.
"As long as he's an ordinary person, that's all I need. I was only being careful, just in case."
After Woo Sung-woo offered a parting word and left, Hwan-shin watched the receding figure and smiled more strangely still.
[Why did you lie? Why did you lie? Why are you lying?]
The demon asked the question while eating the last of the peanuts. Its attitude said it simply couldn't understand: he had told this man he was a human strangely mixed at 8:1:1 — so why describe him as an ordinary person to a Nakru operative who was Yeon-woo's own brother?
Hwan-shin leaned back against his chair and smiled broadly.
"Those people have no flexibility, you see. I don't know what he is, but he struck me as a rather interesting existence. What am I supposed to do if they insist we kill him safely, just to be certain?"
[Nosey. That's nosey. Isn't that nosey?]
Hwan-shin shrugged and murmured on, delight glinting in his eyes.
"In any case, I'd like to observe him closely... but if I observe him openly, will Woo Sung-woo realize that I lied?"
[Dunno. Who cares. Not interested.]
The demon turned its attention back to the peanuts. The crunch of chewing sounded remarkably like the crunching of bones he so loved. And as he listened to that sharp crack of shell, Hwan-shin hit upon a fine idea.
"Ah — no, wait. He's a celebrity. I can simply use that, can't I."
[How? How how? How exactly?]
"What if I..."
[?]
"became Yeon-woo's fansite master?"