111. Now, Five?
CEO Im answered.
"How about we have all five of them sing the solo track first, and then give it to whichever member expresses it best?"
It was a reasonable suggestion, so no one—including Jong-woo—raised an objection.
"That works. It's fair."
At CEO Im's glance, Team Leader Yoo of the A&R department quickly turned on the Bluetooth speaker she'd already paired with her phone.
The moment she pressed the remote, a bright, buoyant melody spilled from the speaker.
Jong-woo closed his eyes and bobbed his head along to the music.
Rembrary listened as well and marveled inwardly. What the A&R team leader had said was no exaggeration. The song was genuinely refreshing and crisp—the kind of track made for summer.
"This is the one."
By the time the song ended, Taein, Cathy, and Hye-gyeol all wore expressions brimming with anticipation.
"That song is really good."
When Jong-woo exclaimed in admiration, the A&R team leader forgot all about scolding him earlier and perked up. "See?"
After that, everyone gathered in the meeting room traded thoughts about the track, then exchanged opinions on the other four members' solo songs as well.
It was only called a special album, but with five tracks to record and a punishing deadline, there seemed to be no shortage of work on every front.
"We'll shoot just one music video, for the title track—but all five members appear in it, no matter who sings it."
"What about live stages? The song's way too upbeat to just drop as a digital single."
"Right? If we nail down the choreography, promoting for about three weeks sounds perfect."
"Yes. What was that thing? Those big… you know, the goggles."
"Snorkeling goggles?"
"Yes! Great idea! They'd look adorable singing in those!"
"…"
"…"
"Why is everyone so quiet?"
While CEO Im rhapsodized about the cuteness of snorkeling goggles, Rembrary stood with his arms crossed, quietly replaying the music he'd just heard.
The song was good, but…
It seemed as though some strange sound had been mixed into it. Is it really fine?
Something bad happened on set, so I wasn't able to film a video diary for a few days.
Oh, right. The person who got injured on set, thankfully, came through surgery successfully and is recovering well, everyone.
Anyway, back on topic—can I talk about the new song? May I? Well, if not, the PD will just edit it out.
So. The new song. We're preparing a summer special album, and right now everything is chaos.
It's because the A&R team brought in a genuinely amazing track.
Since it's a solo song, only one of the five of us can sing it…
Of course, people want me to sing it, but because of the drama and the variety shows, I've been pushed down the priority list.
Jungseo got pushed back too, since he's preparing auditions for a new movie.
So realistically, the candidates are Hyegyeol, Taein, and Cathy.
Oh, the reason everything's in chaos is that all three of them love the song and want to sing it.
To decide who gets it, they each did a rough recording in the booth—and even the staff's opinions came out completely split.
Jong-woo hyung wants Hyegyeol to sing it, since he suits the vibe best, and the vocal coach wants Taein, since he sings it best.
Cathy wants himself to sing it. Ah. Saying it out loud, he seems pitiful. Let's just say Cathy wants me to sing it.
Anyway, that's how it is.
Jungseo is busy with script rehearsals, so he doesn't much care—and I don't much care, because I'm not interested.
Around four in the afternoon, I went to 'our house.'
By 'our house' I mean the home that Jang Taeri, Shin Jowoon, and I share.
I don't know why I must call it 'our house' when I have a perfectly good dorm, but it's part of the concept—hold on a moment.
The PD just called and told me not to lean so hard on the concept and the setting.
But PD, isn't this exactly the sort of thing you could edit out?
Anyway, since I've been told not to, moving on. I went to our house.
Jang Taeri was out for work, and only Shin Jowoon—who, despite being the CEO, is oddly easy to catch at home—was there.
He was sprawled on the sofa watching TV, and the moment I walked in, he grumbled that my face was hard to look at.
Grumbling the very instant he lays eyes on me. Clicking my tongue, I was heading to my room when Shin Jowoon said this:
"It's not small."
What was he talking about? It came completely out of nowhere.
When I asked what on earth that was supposed to mean, Shin Jowoon said this:
"My dick."
…I did not know a person could be this much of a pervert. It's his own that isn't small—I have no idea what he wants from me.
Is he asking for a compliment?
Dumbfounded, I stared at him, and he had the nerve to ask why I was staring.
"I shall call you Pervert Anchovy from this day forth. What an exalted soul you have?"
And when he demanded to know why he would say such filthy things to me, he acted terribly, terribly wronged.
According to Shin Jowoon, I was the one who insulted his pride first.
He claims he despises such topics, but his wounded pride simply had to be restored, so he had no choice.
With no real excuse available to him, he comes up with an astoundingly bizarre one.
Six in the evening
I was memorizing the Dear God script when Shin Jowoon came into my room and insisted we have a serious conversation.
I told him I had nothing to say, and he declared that he simply could not bear it—no matter how he thought about it, the injustice was unbearable.
I asked what could possibly be so unjust, and apparently, I was the one who brought up the penis topic first.
People ought to have a conscience. He doesn't want to be the pervert, so he's trying to shove the title onto me.
Seven in the evening
Having finished memorizing the script, I went to the kitchen for dinner, but there was no food.
I opened the refrigerator, and there was nothing in the refrigerator either. This is not a figure of speech—it was genuinely, utterly empty.
Shocked, I asked Shin Jowoon, "Where did all the food go?" and he answered with an extraordinarily arrogant smile:
"I figured this was the only way you'd get to feel wronged too."
Could this be because I refused to play along with his exalted question earlier? It must be exactly that.
As I stood there dumbfounded, Shin Jowoon laughed at me like some conquering victor and pulled a long, stick-shaped snack from his pocket, eating it all by himself.
And that was not all. He declared he would never again buy me pizza, or steak, or anything of the sort.
Flustered, I conceded that he was right—his dick was not small—at which point he demanded to know on what basis I claimed that, seeing as I had never once laid eyes on it.
His talent for seizing on technicalities is infuriatingly respectable.
"You were the one making that claim earlier, Mr. Shin Jowoon."
"Is that really the thing to say at a moment like this?"
"Then what should I say?"
"An apology for the lie, perhaps?"
"I apologize for lying that it isn't small?"
I did exactly as instructed, and he grew even angrier and stormed out. A truly incomprehensible man.
It is eleven in the morning, and three awkward situations have already befallen me.
At eight, Hyegyeol came by and asked me to help him interpret the solo song.
At ten, Taein came by and asked me to help him practice it.
Thirty minutes ago, Cathy came by and asked me to sing the song my way.
Should I call Jong-woo hyung and tell him it would be better if I simply sang it myself?
The next Dating Process shoot had a housewarming concept.
Shin Jowoon and Jang Taeri would each invite their friends over for a housewarming party—and the friends, unaware that Rembrary lived there too, would show up to find him. That was the premise, anyway.
"Isn't that just blatantly pulling the wool over everyone's eyes?"
Rembrary asked, baffled, but the VJ dodged the question, insisting the concept wasn't his doing.
In any case, to bring the concept to life, the appointed day arrived, and Jang Taeri's and Shin Jowoon's actual friends showed up at the broadcast house bearing all manner of housewarming gifts.
For once, the VJ handed Rembrary a script—and, remarkably, a mission along with it.
"Mr. Woo Yeonwoo, please spend the day hiding so that Mr. Shin Jowoon's and Ms. Jang Taeri's friends don't catch you."
"Where exactly is there to hide in that tiny house?"
"That house is two hundred thirty square meters!"
"It's still just two floors at the end of the day."
The VJ, ignorant of the fact that Rembrary was a High Priest who owned Great Temple grounds the size of an entire village, privately thought him remarkably unlucky, and continued explaining the script.
"If you get caught while running around hiding, then to Ms. Jang Taeri's friend, you just give an awkward greeting—'Hello. I'm your friend's lover.'"
"Understood."
"And to Mr. Shin Jowoon's friend, you say—'You'd better comfort me later. You'll be crying because of me.'"
"So getting caught is a certainty, then?"
"With almost nowhere to hide, how could you not be caught?"
Unlike Rembrary, the VJ believed two hundred thirty square meters was an enormous amount of space—but he did agree that it wasn't enough for one person to conceal themselves completely. Moreover, the house had been hastily rented for the 'wealthy couple' concept, so it was nearly bare of furniture. Finding one hiding man would take them less than ten minutes.
"And after the friends leave, you ask Ms. Jang Taeri with a sorrowful face—'How long must I keep hiding?' And to Mr. Shin Jowoon, you say—'Someday, our positions will be reversed.'"
Rembrary paced the room committing the script to memory, and when word came that Shin Jowoon's and Jang Taeri's friends had arrived, he hid in the most sensible place he could think of—inside a closet on the second floor.
Cooped up in the closet, Rembrary listened to the front door open and the sound of people exchanging cheerful greetings, and let out a long sigh.
Why was a High Priest crouched inside someone else's wardrobe like this? The more he thought about it, the more unjust it felt.
But this, too, is all for Lady Redrin.
Ideally, the Demon King would never have invaded in the first place—but Rembrary exhaled, and held his breath.
Meanwhile, Jang Taeri's friends and Shin Jowoon's friends had each received their own missions from the VJ.
Common Mission: Please find the hiding Woo Yeon-woo.
Jang Taeri's friend's mission: Woo Yeon-woo is really struggling in this love. Comfort him: "It's okay, because I love you so much. You'll let me smile again later, won't you?"
Shin Jowoon's friend's mission: You are furious at Woo Yeon-woo. Rage on your friend's behalf: "Have you no pride? Do you want to fake-date him that badly?"
"Wow, they hand out separate missions like this?"
"That's wild."
Jang Taeri's and Shin Jowoon's friends found it endlessly novel that their friends were appearing on a variety show, so receiving missions from the VJ only made them treat the whole thing like a game—and they loved it.
"So all the lines up until now had missions like this too?"
"Was everything scripted? Or only half-scripted?"
"Even the trash talk was scripted?"
To the torrent of questions, the VJ smiled benevolently, told them they'd find out once they tried, and raised the camera.
The moment filming began, Jang Taeri's and Shin Jowoon's friends scattered through the house like children playing hide-and-seek, each cobbling together a different excuse to break off from the group.
They were off to find Rembrary, who was hiding first.
Naturally, Rembrary was discovered by one of the men in under three minutes.
"Found you!"
Rembrary stared at him coldly for a moment—the man was shouting as triumphant as a treasure-hunt champion. He was annoyed, but this was a broadcast, so he endured it, crawled out of the closet, shook out his crumpled clothes, and squared his shoulders.
Then the man asked cheerfully, as if playing yet another round of the game:
"And who might you be?"
Rembrary answered icily.
"The lover of your friend's lover."
People generally brought same-sex friends to housewarmings, so the man was almost certainly one of Shin Jowoon's friends—and in the setting, Shin Jowoon was Rembrary's love rival. Facing a love rival's friend, it was perfectly acceptable to speak so frigidly.
Besides, whether cowed by Rembrary's imposing bearing or not, the man who had been grinning this entire time blinked and went, "Huh?"—and that, Rembrary rather enjoyed.
Fixing him with a piercing stare, Rembrary issued a low warning.
"You had best prepare yourself some tissues. You will be crying because of me."
Now that he'd said it aloud, the line seemed to have drifted somewhat from the script—but these lines were meant to be adapted to the situation anyway, so it was fine.
Jang Taeri's friend, however, was rather thrown off.
Rembrary surely had lines of his own—but Rembrary's lines fit terribly, terribly poorly with the ones the VJ had handed out.
Still, figuring the editors would sort it all out somehow, Jang Taeri's friend simply recited the line he'd been assigned.
"It's okay, because I love you so much. You'll let me smile again later, won't you?"
Rembrary frowned, wondering what on earth this human was talking about.
Jang Taeri's male friend, having said it out loud, found it even stranger than it had sounded in his head, and stared at Rembrary, utterly bewildered.
— End of Chapter 111. Now, Five? —