Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Translator: Penny
Chapter 23
How Ha-eun's acting was perceived by people beyond the movie screen was still unclear.
However, she was confident that she had done her best in portraying Kim Jia.
And she thought that was enough.
The purpose of Ha-eun filming was solely for the 'movie shooting experience,' not to gain immense fame and popularity.
As a result, achieved higher box office success than Ha-eun had remembered.
Of course, she was pleased.
Because there was no clearer indicator of a movie's quality than the number of viewers.
A sense of relief that her best efforts had not been in vain.
For Ha-eun, who had never even taken a proper acting class, that sense of relief alone was honestly satisfying enough.
Yes, she certainly hadn't hoped for anything more than that.
She had always thought it was greedy to expect anything more from Ha-eun's unrefined acting.
"By the way, Ha-eun, about the upcoming Korean Film Awards, have you prepared your acceptance speech?"
As if it were a given that Ha-eun would receive an award.
As if it were a given that Ha-eun would surpass the other nominated actors.
"...It's not even confirmed yet."
"You're already dressed like someone who's going to receive an award, what are you talking about?"
Kang Seon-woo's voice added, saying that it was the first time he was so impressed by a child actor's appearance.
Even Ha-eun thought that her current appearance was the most beautiful she had ever seen herself.
Regardless, the current situation of riding in the same limousine as Kang Seon-woo to the awards ceremony felt awkward.
It felt like going to a party she wasn't invited to.
Of course, objectively speaking, it was not strange at all for Ha-eun to be invited to the awards ceremony.
Since this year's most successful movie was , Ha-eun, as its main star, had more than enough qualifications to attend the ceremony.
However, receiving an award as an actress was a different story.
Even at this moment, she couldn't be sure that Ha-eun was a good enough actress to deserve an award.
Most of her acting so far had come from memories of her past life.
To play Kim Jia, who suffered even at the hands of her only blood relative, her mother, she had forcibly dredged up memories that were nothing but painful.
If Kim Jia had been even slightly happier.
If she had been even a little brighter, would she have received the same evaluation?
No, would she have even been cast as Kim Jia in the first place?
No matter how she thought about it, Ha-eun had just been lucky.
Yes, she was really lucky to have already experienced countless moments similar to Kim Jia's.
She simply thought that was why Ha-eun's acting was able to portray Kim Jia so well.
In a way, it was only natural, since other child actors like Min Da-yeon would never have experienced anything like Kim Jia.
"Okay, hold my hand, Ha-eun. Come down slowly."
Even then, as she carefully took Kang Seon-woo's hand, which was extended for an escort.
Even after walking along the long red carpet with Kang Seon-woo and finally entering the awards ceremony hall.
She couldn't be sure that Ha-eun was a good enough actress to surpass the many strong candidates and receive an award.
She thought she was here because of luck, by chance, a series of coincidences.
Unlike other actors who entered the path of acting to give people pleasure.
Or because they enjoyed acting itself, Ha-eun's acting was something she had no choice but to do in order to survive.
It was just forcibly creating an image that was forced upon her by her parents in her past life.
Could acting that started with such a wrong motive really be worthy of an award?
'Even if your stomach is upset, you have to smile on your face.'
'Even if it's hard to breathe, your voice has to be calm.'
The forced things she had whispered countless times to herself, huddled in the corner of a dark hospital room.
Everything from one to ten was strange and unsightly, artificial things.
"Oh, Ha-eun. Are you sick somewhere?"
"No, it's just... everyone I see is so radiant. I think I got a little intimidated without realizing it."
She thought that the acting of the actors, who naturally caught people's attention like brilliant starlight, was different from her acting.
It was born from a deep, dark swamp where no beautiful starlight could be found.
A pathetic performance that only made people feel sympathy and pity.
"Ha-eun, you're shining enough too. Have confidence."
"Thank you for the kind words."
"I mean it."
Therefore, Ha-eun believed that she could not be evaluated on the same level as the many adult actresses who were nominated for the same award as Ha-eun.
That is, with actors who show 'real' acting that people consider ideal.
She believed that her acting, which only recreated painful memories, should end with conveying what unhappiness is.
Also, what should be recognized and applauded by people is 'Kim Jia'.
Not 'child actress Lee Ha-eun'.
Even though she had been loved by people who could truly be called parents for seven years.
The evaluation of the value of 'herself,' which she had hidden deep down a long time ago, was still excessively harsh.
Because she had been considered worthless her whole life.
She had lived her life being thought of as someone's burden, shackle, obstacle, stumbling block.
A person who caused trouble to others just by existing.
The dry perception of herself, which had been firmly established unconsciously by her misguided parents, was still holding Ha-eun back.
However, not long after that.
"Now, next is the Best New Actress Award. There are really beautiful people nominated..."
A completely opposite evaluation to Ha-eun's thoughts.
"...The winner of the Best New Actress Award at the 8th Korean Film Awards is─congratulations. Lee Ha-eun from !"
[Best New Actress Award:
Lee Ha-eun from ]
At that moment, when she appeared on the huge screen of the awards ceremony hall, along with the high-pitched voice of the famous actress who was hosting the ceremony.
-Rustle.
The countless lights in the awards ceremony hall slowly turned to Ha-eun.
Forcing the person who had decided long ago that she could not shine on her own to finally shine.
"Go, Ha-eun. Don't be intimidated. Be confident."
With the encouragement of the person who shone brighter than anyone Ha-eun had ever seen, she had no choice but to go up on the stage.
Thus began the surreal moment when countless stars, including Kang Seon-woo, were looking at only Ha-eun.
In front of a landscape like the Milky Way in the night sky, Ha-eun.
"I will... become a person worthy of the award you have given me."
She barely managed to utter only one sentence, squeezed out with difficulty from the bottom of a deep swamp.
This was partly because she had not prepared an acceptance speech in advance.
Because the emotions she was feeling now were emotions that Ha-eun was experiencing for the first time.
Because they were things that she could not even dare to imagine would be hers in her colorless, dreary past life.
Above all, this dreamlike sight was a sight that Ha-eun had never experienced even once.
It made Ha-eun not know what kind of expression to make.
Because the people in Ha-eun's memory had never told her what kind of expression to make when she was happy.
They had never forcibly imposed or instilled it.
-Drip.
-Drip, drip.
Therefore, the tears that had been flowing down her cheeks since some time ago.
Were the first sincerity that Ha-eun was showing without any intention.
Pure emotions that were not tainted by even a speck of someone else's oppression.
Those emotions, which Ha-eun herself was not aware of, stopped for a moment only when the slightly embarrassed host called Ha-eun.
"Okay, Ha-eun. Take a deep breath slowly, and if you have anything else to say, feel free to say it."
Thus, after taking a moment to catch her breath.
She opened her mouth only after making eye contact with Kang Seon-woo, who was always looking at Ha-eun with a friendly smile.
"To the people who are having a hard time for their own reasons... I hope a reliable mister like Jin Gang-sik appears. ...Thank you."
She said the words she wanted to say to her past self.
At the same time, she spoke the words that her past self wanted to hear.
Then, another thunderous applause erupted.
After that, even when she came down from the stage with the golden trophy held preciously and sat next to Kang Seon-woo again, the applause did not stop.
As expected, she was still feeling emotional turmoil.
It was still an unfamiliar, awkward, and embarrassing sensation.
But for some reason, she felt like she knew that it was a sensation that she didn't need to endure or suppress.
"Um, Kang Seon-woo... I mean, Seon-woo Mister. There's one thing I'd like you to advise me on─"
For the first time, she sought someone's help for another dream that had just been born.
After that, the story, which was only about sincerity, continued for quite a long time.
Even after the awards ceremony was completely over.
The end of the conversation, which continued by moving to a late-night fast food restaurant.
"If you want to learn, learn, and if you want to do both, do both. It's not like you're harming anyone, right?"
It ended with relatively short and simple words compared to the long time spent in conversation.
Nevertheless, the conviction that filled Ha-eun's heart.
Thus, at that moment when she finally said goodbye to Kang Seon-woo.
"Um, Seon-woo Mister."
She stopped the person who, according to Ha-eun's memory, would not appear in front of the screen for quite a long time and then asked.
How are you going to live in the future?
The answer that came back from Kang Seon-woo, who was pondering with a serious expression for a moment, was.
"Hmm... I'm going to go on the trips I've been putting off, read the books I've wanted to read. I think I'm going to live doing what I want to do?"
An answer that perfectly suited the person named Kang Seon-woo that Ha-eun knew.
Still, she thought it would be a shame not to see that shining person again.
"I hope you continue acting."
"I didn't say I was retiring?"
"Still. Just in case."
She even made a promise by hooking her pinky finger, unlike herself.
Let's meet again in front of the camera someday.
Thus, after a promise with no coercive power was made vaguely.
Time, which had never stopped even once, began to fly by again.
However, the casting offers that were literally pouring in for Ha-eun, who had won an award in her first debut movie.
"Thank you for the good offer. But, Ha-eun's will is so firm..."
Almost all of them were rejected outright, except for CFs or public service advertisements, which had relatively short shooting periods compared to movies or dramas.
The reasons were that she was not yet fully prepared and that she wanted to enjoy a normal school life a little more.
Thus, a total of three and a half years had passed since Ha-eun first recognized her own value.
The place she was heading to early in the morning had also changed from kindergarten to elementary school.
Ha-eun's daily life, which had only consisted of singing lessons with Deobeulli, had also undergone many changes.
Among them, what occupied a particularly large portion was.
'Hmm, with an actress like this, we wouldn't even need to take acting classes, would we?'
'Thank you for seeing me in a good light. But, I'm still very lacking.'
Acting classes at an acting academy that had an exclusive contract with Luna Entertainment.
For some reason, she couldn't get close to the other child actors at Luna Entertainment who were already taking acting classes.
But anyway, Ha-eun didn't care as long as she could learn acting.
As a result, Ha-eun was having a pretty busy daily life these days.
Still, it was a busy daily life based on Ha-eun's will, so she didn't really care.
However, among the various elements that made up Ha-eun's daily life, there was only one thing that was far from Ha-eun's will.
"Hey, Lee Ha-eun. Are you going to audition for this time too?"
"...Yeah."
No, just one person.
"When you said you weren't ready, when did you keep rejecting casting offers, why are you suddenly doing this now?"
"I'm just going to check how far my preparation has come..."
"What? Check? You're using an audition that others are desperate to get into just to check your precious preparation?"
Because it made Ha-eun's daily life, which would have been busy enough just being busy, even busier and noisier.
"...I'll do my best."
"Oh, please. Why are you saying something so obvious with such an attitude?"
She felt complicated in many ways.
However, there were a few things that bothered her about ignoring Min Da-yeon.
From that day when they happened to run into each other in the hallway until this moment.
She was sticking with Min Da-yeon, who was literally dying to get her hands on Ha-eun.
Well, when you think about it, she was also the only child in the elementary school Ha-eun was attending who could share her daily life in the entertainment industry.
"Anyway, I'm going to the audition, so don't go. You just keep doing your precious preparation."
"Hmm... Are you scared of being pushed back again this time?"
"Wh, wh, whaat?! Wh, who said I was scared!!"
The reactions that Min Da-yeon showed whenever she provoked Min Da-yeon like now were a little.
No, they were quite fun.
Friend.
Or, bad friend.
Whatever name Min Da-yeon's relationship was defined as, it seemed better to continue the relationship than to cut it off.
Although Min Da-yeon herself didn't seem to think so.
📝 Translator’s Note:
You may notice that certain lines or phrases in this novel appear both in their original Korean (or Hanja) form and in English translation.
This is intentional — these phrases are classical idioms, divine titles, or poetic expressions that carry layered meanings.
To preserve their original tone and authenticity, the raw text has been kept for reference, while the English interpretation is provided right before or after it. This helps convey both the literal and cultural nuance of the original work.
but if you guys dont want tha raw for future chapters or my future other novels u can just text me on discord and say so discord name Mr.Penny