Chapter 5

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 5

Chapter Title: My First Date in Life

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Lee Soo-yeon was driving a red sports car.

Making a loud exhaust roar, it smoothly sped through the heart of Gangnam.

'This kind of car really has a different ride.'

Wasn't the seat under my butt more expensive than the deposit on my studio apartment?

Our place's deposit was only five million won.

Running like that, we arrived in front of one massive building in Gangnam.

Lee Soo-yeon skillfully pulled into the underground parking garage.

The lot was packed mostly with foreign luxury cars.

Later, once I cashed out my Shorts revenue, I should buy at least a used one.

Stepping out of the underground garage, I looked up at the building.

"The building's enormous..."

"My clinic's on the sixth floor. Though we're closed for business today."

"...The entire sixth floor is the clinic?"

"Huge, right?"

I'd thought it was just some neighborhood clinic, but this was ridiculously massive?

Way too big for one doctor to handle alone.

Anyway, Lee Soo-yeon had dragged me here to give me a checkup.

"I'm really fine."

"No way. How can a doctor examine a patient and just send them off? At least give them a shot and prescribe some meds."

She mimed jabbing a syringe and smiled.

It suited her so perfectly and looked so pretty that I looked away.

As we neared the building entrance, a delicious aroma hit us.

Now I saw the entire first floor was a braised short ribs joint.

"The braised short ribs place on the first floor looks tasty, huh?"

"A restaurant, but on this scale? Prime Gangnam land, whole first floor a eatery."

"The owner of that braised short ribs spot owns this building."

"Pardon?"

I thought I'd misheard.

"This building. Worth over a hundred billion won."

"..."

"Real tycoons are on another level."

I couldn't shut my mouth. A hundred billion.

Grinding away at the logistics center...

No, even lumping in meal allowances, pulling four million won a month—how many years to save that?

"Why would a landlord that rich run a BBQ joint?"

I voiced my confusion, and Lee Soo-yeon snickered.

Felt a bit like she'd called me dumb.

"Min-jae. It's the opposite."

"Huh?"

"Succeeded with the meat joint and became the landlord."

"Ah..."

"Later, let's grab a drink there. Spicy braised short ribs with soju? It'll cure any cold."

She winked and grabbed my wrist.

We rode the elevator to the sixth floor.

Ding~♪

The doors opened to a sleek sign: Gangnam Haneulhaneul Clinic.

What a name.

What naming sense is that?

Beep- beep- beep-

Lee Soo-yeon punched in the Secom code, stepped inside, and flipped on all the lights like normal operating hours.

The clinic, bright as midday, stood completely empty.

The interior felt like a hotel lobby.

"Wait here a sec."

Lee Soo-yeon slipped behind the reception desk, sat, and booted the computer.

The startup ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠chime echoed through the quiet clinic.

"Min-jae, come here."

She beckoned me and pointed at the tablet screen upfront.

"First visit, right? Register on that screen."

"Huh? Register... for real?"

"Fake then? You come to a clinic, check-in first. Gotta log the charts."

I froze for a second.

Playing doctor? But real place, real doctor—not quite play.

Hesitantly, I tapped in my name, resident ID, address on the tablet.

"Done? Sit over there and wait."

I plopped on the sofa.

So plush, felt like it was sucking me in.

Lee Soo-yeon hammered the keyboard a while, then ducked into the director's office-slash-exam room.

About a minute later.

The intercom buzzed from inside.

"Kim Min-jae. Exam room, please."

"...Yes."

Awkwardly stood.

Inside, she'd donned her white coat and sat poised.

Glam cafe look vanished; pure Doctor Lee Soo-yeon.

'This is professional?'

Cautiously took the round stool.

Lee Soo-yeon eyed the monitor, whipped her head my way.

"Where's it hurt?"

Scribbling on the chart.

"Uh... just cold vibes. Scratchy throat, runny nose."

"Lemme see... Shirt up a bit. Stethoscope."

"Yes..."

Lifted shirt slightly.

Cold diaphragm pressed my chest.

"Deep breath in... out."

"..."

"Again... Hmm."

What? Something bad?

Anxiety creeping, she laid a hand light on my chest.

"Ah, can I touch?"

"I'm good."

"Hmm... Min-jae. You work out?"

"Huh? Nah, not really."

"Couldn't tell dressed, but... damn, abs. Solid muscle."

Embarrassed outta nowhere.

I did have ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠body confidence.

"Just... tough job."

Logistics box-hauling 'survival muscle.'

Yanked shirt down quick.

"That so? Shame."

"What?"

"Was gonna join."

Scribbled more, grabbed a tongue depressor, shoved at my face.

Those metal popsicle sticks at clinics?

Yeah.

"Mouth wide, ah~"

"Ah..."

Opened up.

Pressed my tongue down.

"Oof... Throat's wrecked. Inflammation's bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yup. Shot and meds. No booze."

Chicken-scratched the chart.

"Said ribs and soju earlier."

"Separate. Doctor pushing drinks on patients?"

"Nope?"

"Outta clinic, doctor who?... Injection room first."

Shooed me out.

Followed floor arrows to injection room.

Curtained bed waiting.

"Uh... actual butt shot?"

"Arm? Butt's better."

"Still... grown-ass man..."

"Pfft, shy with a doc? See butts dozens times daily. Stomach down. Pants low."

Lee Soo-yeon prepped swab, syringe casual as hell.

Gave up, flopped prone.

Bared one cheek.

"Sting incoming."

Swabbed brisk, stabbed needle no mercy.

"Ugh!"

"Done."

Burning influx.

Swabbed after...

Slap! Slap!

Sudden palm smacks on my ass.

Whirled—her hand over mouth, laughing.

"Oops. Sorry. Spank first usually, late this time?"

"..."

Speechless.

Pulled pants, stood.

Two more smacks.

"Next vid: [Why Nurses Spank Before Butt Shots]."

"More weirdness."

Lee Soo-yeon giggled.

"True-or-false again, upload. And... uh...?"

She trailed off.

Looked—spaced out like head-smacked.

Soon clapped, nodded.

"Yes. That's it."

"What?"

"My channel direction. Hit me."

Beamed on.

"Those bullshit vids you post?"

"Bullshit? Harsh."

"And all the pseudoscience crap online. I debunk one-by-one."

"..."

"Good? Real doc sniping moron tubers. Views boom."

Hand out.

"Meet often, brainstorm, Min-jae."

"I gain zilch."

"Dates every meet."

Dates?

With 28-year virgin me?

Shook her hand.

Ate dinner with Lee Soo-yeon, split for home.

Ribs and soju? Nah.

Cold excuse: patients no booze. Soda for me, she crushed two soju bottles solo.

Food slayed tho.

Hundred-billion landlord's ribs.

"Soo-yeon footed bill."

No gripes.

Grateful.

Home, bed, fired AI app.

[Why Nurses Spank Before Butt Shots]

Generated one.

Three minutes flat.

FYI, I know why nurses spank pre-shot.

Heard once.

Stim fast thick nerves, blocks slow pain ones temp—shot hurts less.

Gate control theory?

Light hit first dulls it.

AI vid? Pure BS again.

Braindead explanation.

Not wuxia.

Ridiculous, perfect.

My vids love peak BS.

Uploaded, comments flying.

This one tricked 'em for real, doc feud? Flooded.

That's when.

Phone top notification popped.

She'd assume I made it myself.

'AI auto-gen.'

Replied, flopped on bed.

Lying there, day's events replayed.

'This... a date?'

Weird for date.

Ass-up on exam bed.

But duo dinner with girl...

Booze... solo no, but.

'Meet often agreed... even chat.'

Gonna girl-hangout spree?

Such delusions as eyelids drooped, sleep won.

'Logistics tomorrow... hate it.'

Alarm 6am to 7? Tempted.

But late risk, nah—slept.