This Is Not an Affair
This is not an illicit affair.
Hurry up and go. Please. Get the hell out of here. Do you want your throat slit by Arlea, whose stats just skyrocketed sixty-nine times from pure rage?!
I used telepathy to shoot Sophia a pointed look.
Her gaze drifted toward the unconscious Arlea sprawled out cold.
Wow… doing this with Oppa right in front of that damn bitch… I-it feels good! Sh-should we just go all the way like this?
If this were an actual affair, the thrill would probably feel exactly like that.
Pulling a stunt like this inside a yandere game? Next scene I’d get stabbed for sure. After that, my lower half would be taxidermied separately—the rest stored away for whenever she needed it.
Shiver—
As if getting kidnapped to a drinking party and forced to entertain wasn’t enough. Now I was having my man stolen right in front of two mortal enemies who mixed like water and fire?
“Professor. Are you all right first of all?”
Sophia scratched her cheek. Long marks ringed her neck, and she was wearing little more than underwear, sprawled out and radiating a sweet, heady scent. The expensive shampoo smell rising off her could drive any man into heat.
“Uh, uhhh… I-I’m not sure. Right now—if we stay a little closer…”
Bullshit.
Anyone with eyes could see she was fine. A twelve-Circle Archmage recovered fast, never slow. She’d probably only healed the internal injuries first.
I pulled Sophia into my arms.
This shouldn’t mess up the escape plan…
We’d already coordinated our stories to frame everything as heresy involvement.
The hypnosis has taken full effect.
In truth, the real credit for the behind-the-scenes maneuvering belonged to me.
Squeeze—
Sophia hugged me with strength befitting a twelve-Circle mage.
“A-are you okay?”
“Yes, Professor. I’m fine. I also understand your situation. Intimate relations between a man and a woman are common enough.”
Common? Hardly.
Anyone who could take both a princess and an Archmage and still keep their sanity intact was a rare breed of lunatic. Fuck, couldn’t they at least let me deal with one at a time? These bastards were too much.
Sophia, still pressed against my lips, muttered so quietly no one else could hear.
“Th-that’s right. The suicide squad’s curse… i-isn’t that just too cruel?!”
“Indeed. I… will not pursue separate responsibility for this. As her escort knight, the duty was mine alone.”
I deliberately put extra weight on the words “I understand.” Meaning: bury it. Don’t bring it up again.
Sophia was clueless about romance and had eyes only for me, but even she could grasp a hint that obvious. She slowly stroked the handprints still ringing her neck.
“A-all right—”
“Really?”
I fixed her with a fierce glare for several long seconds.
Eep—
Under that murderous look she dropped her head at once. Just in case, I added a little extra explanation. She was still closer to a girl than a woman, after all.
“Her Highness would never understand this little farce. She must have been under the influence of black magic as well.”
Dazed—
The moment I stroked Sophia’s hair, every shadow of doubt vanished. If I confessed right now she would probably accept on the spot. She was thoroughly love-struck.
“Professor. It would be best if you left slowly. His Highness Prince Ackres has arrived to investigate Professor Lu’s assassination and interrogate the suspects.”
“Ackres… haah, looks like more noise is coming. Th-thank you.”
Sophia stammered as she pulled on her outer clothes. The sweet cotton-candy scent clinging to my own body needed to be scrubbed off immediately.
Working together, the two of us had successfully cleaned up not only the drinking party but every other loose end as well.
Whew. That should be everything scrubbed clean.
I wiped my mouth. Ugh—hair on my lips.
Cleanup complete. I didn’t expect to get caught. All that remained was to leave the scene and the perfect crime would be sealed.
Creeeak—
Bang.
“Huuuh.”
Sophia opened the door and slipped out carefully. For a moment I thought we’d made it through the day unscathed.
“Waaaaaah!”
Five seconds later a piercing scream rang out. It was Sophia—and the odds that I was completely fucked stood at fifty-eight thousand percent.
“Wh-what is it?!”
I flung the door open and rushed out.
“Who goes there?! Identify yourself! How dare you trespass on sacred imperial ground!”
“No, wait—how is this even—”
Knights had already surrounded Sophia. Damn it all. Caught during patrol hours?
These were Central Army elites—the kind even a frontier marquis would struggle to face, the same force that cleaned up the Demon Realm itself. From the receiving end they were pure nightmare fuel. And now Sophia had walked straight into them.
“Waaaaah! I-I was only…”
Squeeze—
Panicked, Sophia immediately threw herself into my arms, crying “Sir Knight! Sir Knight!”
“I only came to check on my escort knight’s safety!”
Sniffle.
Somehow the survival instinct felt heavily flavored with personal desire. She was clinging that tightly. Soft… soft… her chest was pressed right against me. She seemed determined to make a man lose his mind.
“That’s enough, Professor. That will do.”
I grabbed the back of Sophia’s neck and lifted her like a dangling cat.
“Sir Mikhail. Did you summon her?!”
The knights advanced, hands on their swords.
“Yes. I called her. This woman is no black mage.”
“Outwardly she may not look like one. Yet she is flustered, and her name appears nowhere in the entry logs.”
They’d only ever seen black mages on the front lines. The mere word “mage” was enough to set them off—especially when she’d just walked out of the princess’s chambers. Fuck, I really ought to buy a lottery ticket today. How the hell had everything gone this spectacularly wrong?
Before I could fully choke down my emotions, a knight leveled his blade at Sophia.
“Is this woman not a spy sent by the cult?!”
“Romanov. Calm yourself. She is both my acquaintance and my teacher.”
“Teacher?”
Romanov repeated the word, clearly startled. As adjutant to the Second Prince he was at least one of the few knights you could actually reason with—especially when necks were on the line.
“She is a Grand Magus currently overseeing the Central Magic Tower. I summoned her regarding Her Highness Arlea’s magical training.”
I fed Romanov the exact story Sophia and I had painstakingly rehearsed. He shook his head as if everything finally made sense.
“Ah. My apologies. To think she was a victim of the cult… Damn black mages, using such vile tricks.”
Playing the victim. The answer had been obvious from the start, yet they swallowed our story whole. Smooth talk really did work wonders. If Arlea ever misunderstood, it wouldn’t be their heads on the chopping block anyway.
“Too loud.”
At that moment a presence stirred inside the chambers. Silence fell thick as Arlea emerged, rubbing her eyes. She wore cute rabbit slippers and a loosely belted robe. Kiss marks and even bite marks covered her—anyone seeing her would instantly assume she and some man had spent the entire night devouring each other.
“Ah.”
I let out a soft sound of pure despair.
“Y-Your Highness the Princess!”
“We greet the Radiance of the Empire.”
Everyone dropped to one knee and bowed. The reaction was only natural—very few people yet knew Arlea had become human again. She yawned and swept her gaze over the two of us.
“Sir Romanov.”
“Yes, O Radiance.”
“Withdraw your knights. These two are my guests.”
“Yes!”
“And regarding today’s meeting with the Second Prince—inform him that these two will also be present.”
“Understood!”
“You may leave.”
“Yes!”
Clack-clack-clack—
The moment the knights vanished, Arlea jerked her chin at Sophia in a clear “get lost” gesture.
Sparks—
Their eyes locked. Sophia met the cold stare with equal frost, then vanished via teleport.
Now only Arlea and I remained.
She looked me over from head to toe. We had bitten and sucked and layered lipstick marks and each other’s scents dozens of times. Had she felt disgusted?
She seized me by the collar and dragged me straight into her room.
Bang.
Click.
“…Come here. Look at this.”
Arlea revealed her flushed face without the slightest restraint.
"Arlea Kiessen activates"
⟨ Magic: Seduction (EX) ⟩
The instant the true words reached me I pretended my body went limp.
“Y-you piece of trash. What the hell were you doing first thing in the morning?!”
She ground her teeth as she stared at the marks left on me—almost as if she were checking territorial brands.
“Never leave me alone again!”
The yandere alliance was already racing toward collapse before the Second Prince even showed his face.
To cut straight to the conclusion: Arlea and Sophia had a full-blown fight. And by “fight” I mean an actual blood-drawing brawl.
“Ah, I’m dying.”
When whales fight, the shrimp’s back gets broken. True to the proverb, I was the shrimp stuck between them, and the taste of blood was already in my mouth—because both of them were still screaming into my ears right now.
Ugh… maybe I should go buy a pair of high-quality earplugs?
…So you snuck into my chambers and tried to steal Mikhail away?
No. That never happened. I can even swear a mana oath.
Are you seriously looking for war? If necessary I’m ready to spill blood.
You heat-crazed beast of a bitch.
You gloomy leftover who never even got chosen—an outdated loser.
Wh-what did you just say?!
At least I won his heart. You begged and pleaded so desperately, yet now you lean on magic that’s already useless.
Yeah… this problem wasn’t going to end anytime soon.