Bark Like a Dog
This hypnosis thing is getting on my nerves.
Sophia Borsh tests her hypnosis!
"Woof woof."
I barked before the awkward silence could settle in.
It wasn't as if I didn't understand the situation. Sophia periodically planted suggestions in me, so this was probably just a check—an order issued while we were alone. Of course I knew. Hypnosis was the magic rumored to fool even ancient dragons. The moment she started suspecting it hadn't taken, things would get ugly.
I lifted my head and studied the ceiling.
Ah… to think my dignity would crumble like this.
Regression really was a terrifying thing. A grown man, barking like a dog. Since I couldn't let it show, I kept my expression as blank as possible—the classic look of someone under hypnosis.
"Come back."
Sophia Borsh releases the hypnosis.
Snap—
The moment Sophia flicked her fingers, I pretended to wake from the trance.
"Ugh."
"…Excuse me. Mikhail?"
"Ah. Yes, Professor Sophia. I was just sorting through some thoughts."
"S-sorting through thoughts. You came looking for research materials and just stood there zoning out? Besides, this room is extremely dangerous. You could catch a curse, so d-don't let your guard down. Understood?"
I nodded.
How on earth had our neat-freak, common-sense professor ended up this broken? I wanted to go somewhere and weep. But if Sophia caught even a whiff of sadistic pleasure, she'd only come at me harder. She had that devilish face that charmed every heroine in existence. I couldn't exactly tear it off, either.
What was I supposed to do? The table was already set. Flip the bowl, or just eat what was served? It was basically a Joseon-era death sentence in a cup.
And this room had nothing in it—no curses, nothing of the sort.
Though darkness does drift through the air.
Darkness. This malignant atmosphere resembled a demon's mana. Probably leftover from the ambush on Professor Lou Le Ar.
"Mikhail!"
Sophia Borsh tests her magic!
"Snap out of it. Stand there like that and a curse will take you."
Sophia announced it with her chest puffed out bravely. Both her height and the heart inside that chest were adorably compact. She looked exactly like a tiny doll throwing a tantrum. She really was pretty, though.
I seemed to recall that heart of hers growing larger in the later stages, after I'd kept working on it—especially once I'd gifted her the Bountiful Breast Pill, which had helped things along in that department.
"Where are you looking right now? Answer me. That's an order."
She must have felt my gaze, because Sophia pressed me for it. Well, she'd personally issued a command, so I had to obey. She'd cast the spell using the mana floating in the air—hypnosis, most likely.
"I was looking because the shape of your chest is lovely. If I may ask—does my gaze offend you, Professor?"
I said it as flatly as I could manage.
"M-my chest?!"
Sophia threw her slender arms across the underside of her bust. Not that it mattered—sweat had already made everything translucent—but I wisely kept that observation to myself. It was genuinely lewd, after all.
If this had gone up on an internet forum, it would have been buried under crude titles like "Baby Milk-Jug (S-Size) Cover" or "101 Ways to Make a BABY."
I'd just complimented the chest of a woman who would become my wife. And I'd been under hypnosis, so what choice did I have?
Yanderes are surprisingly weak to this kind of blunt talk.
A method I'd learned over ten years on the run. That was why, the moment Arlea caught me, I couldn't put up any resistance. She'd wrung me dry enough to kill me, but at the time I hadn't had any better options. Against yanderes, this hard counter actually worked well.
Hit with a full confession assault, Sophia fought desperately to hide her smile. The way her fingers wormed across her own cheek looked like an earthworm. She couldn't even meet my eyes properly—her gaze kept flicking away.
"Th-the hypnosis seems to have taken too well… Mikhail, you're actually under, right?! Y-you're not just acting to mess with me."
"Yes. It took perfectly. Professor Sophia's figure is extremely lewd, and she carries a sensuality that could seduce any woman."
I rattled it off machine-gun fast while staring at a distant mountain. Thank goodness I'd stockpiled every filthy line the lewd demons in my head could invent.
Kyaaaaah! Hearing the answer, Sophia crouched down on the spot. She clearly needed a moment to cool her face.
"That's way too filthy! I-if I dial back the dosage a little and plant the suggestion, I might even be able to restore memories…"
As she said it, Sophia looked back at me. What time was it right now? The appointed hour had already passed.
"Oh no—look at the time."
Sophia furrowed her brow.
That's right, Sophia. Sophia. I will never become what you want me to be. What can you even do right now? As long as that monster named Arlea is standing there, you can't touch me however you please either.
"Ugh, so frustrating. Arlea. M-Mikhail. I'll put you back soon."
Sophia flicked her fingers. After that, she naturally slipped back into her act. Her cheeks were still flushed pink, but since she clearly believed herself a genius actress, I decided not to say anything.
"Let's head out for now."
"Understood, Professor."
"D-don't call me Professor. Call me Sophi—Sophia."
"Yes, Professor."
"Stop teasing me."
Creeeeak—
"Huh?"
While we were bickering, the door swung open without resistance—as if someone had already decided they needed to hear what was going on. Even though we were the only ones who'd come in here.
"Mikhail. You weren't coming, so I was waiting out front. It looks like something happened?"
…
…
…
Arlea poked her head through the doorway, smirking.
It was summer.
Hah—
A heavy, sigh-like laugh slipped out of Arlea.
Oops. My wife is mad again.
Then again, this was Arlea—the kind of woman who wouldn't associate with anyone she considered beneath her level. Just talking to another woman was enough to put her in a foul mood for weeks. Terminal-stage husband-guarding syndrome.
—It's less husband-guarding and more an obsession with not letting anyone else take what's hers.
I know. But "husband-guarding" just explains it better.
—Well, you did get caught because of suspicion, so you're not wrong. And you're already later than you promised.
I threw up both hands and both feet. There was nothing left to explain. Even if I stripped naked right now and started doing handstands on the bed, there was no telling how many hours Arlea would spend hugging me and tormenting me.
But let's be real—I had nothing to do with any of this.
This is all Sophia's fault!
Sophia had put me under hypnosis and looked fully prepared to try every last filthy thing she could think of.
"…So you're saying the cursed archive delayed you while you dealt with it together."
After listening to our sweat-soaked explanation, Arlea tilted her head.
"That's right!"
Sophia confirmed it.
"Is that so? Hmm. That does sound like a perfectly proper answer. Well done."
Arlea crossed her arms and worked her lips. She was smiling, but it wasn't a smile. Even as the words left her mouth, she glared at Sophia with ice-blue eyes—while looking me over with a pitiful gaze that said, Our Mikhail couldn't possibly have done anything wrong.
Before long, the two of them locked into a battle of wills.
"You expect me to believe that? Mikhail might buy it because he's pure, but I am the Imperial House itself—I do not. Explain yourself. Trying something depraved that violates our agreement…"
"I-it's not depraved. Absolutely not."
"Under imperial law governing the binding rite of soul to soul… this could carry a sentence of death."
I shrugged at Arlea's words. We really had sworn that our very souls loved each other. Under duress, of course.
Right in front of the World Tree at the heart of the elves' Great Forest—just a large, ordinary tree that held divine power and handed out blessings.
My nose stung.
I never agreed to any of it.
That vow, whispered into me day after day with I love you, gaslit until my mind spun completely off its axis! In the end, I'd been made to believe that every woman except Arlea was evil.
Had Father gone through the same thing?
—That's right, my son!
The vision of Father flickering before my eyes nodded vigorously.
Mother, too, had always framed it as love stories, secretly preaching the virtues of yanderes to me.
Arlea was cut from a similar cloth.
"We did no such thing. We simply fell for the darkness's temptation, that's all."
Sophia fired back at Arlea. It was true that Sophia had made the first move, but she clearly didn't want to admit it.
Honestly, it had been less flirting and more knocking someone out to devour them—but still.
"And the reason?"
"I w-was only… checking whether his hypnosis had taken successfully. If I'm responsible for his safety, this kind of experiment is essential."
"…You're about to torpedo the peace negotiations. So? Did it work?"
Arlea, terminal case of suspicion and full-blown yandere that she was, glared at Sophia as if she meant to kill her.
"That's a secret. I'm under no obligation to disclose it."
"You seem to have forgotten what a deal is. A deal called a deal cannot function without cooperation. You of all people should know that better than anyone."
"Haa… F-for now, how about we clear Mikhail out first and then talk?"
"Fine."
Sensing the standoff was going to drag on, the two of them agreed to send me away first.
"Mikhail. Step outside for a moment. I need to speak with the professor."
"Th-that's right. Regarding this incident, I will definitely explain—explain everything to Your Highness!"
"Understood."
I gave them both a polite nod and slipped out of the room. Their fight looked like it would run long.
Which, for me, was actually good news.
Wait—doesn't this mean I can get out from under Arlea and Sophia's surveillance?
The perfect chance to scout an escape route.
As expected, I was a genius.