There's No Free Steak

First things first — I needed to look into it.

Ever since reuniting with Sophia, the past few days had been nothing but bone-grinding training.

The two of them had closed in on me as if they'd planned it together. I was exhausted to the point of collapse.

Don't tell me… are these two just circling like vultures, waiting for me to wear myself out?

Yeah. That was a perfectly plausible scenario.

Whoosh———!

A razor-sharp rapier blade came screaming in. Arlea.

I deflected the thrust in a flash.

"Mikhail. Stop spacing out! D-do you even understand how important this is right now?!"

Pinning one guy down and tormenting him ranks high on the priority list?

Honestly, she looked like a woman in a full-blown panic over failing to snag a married man.

"Your Highness. We are currently on break."

Shhk—

The moment the words left my mouth, Arlea dropped into a lunging stance. If I hadn't dodged that one, the solid World Tree timber would have left a nasty scar.

Hoh.

Arlea's eyebrows twitched as if her instincts had just pinged her.

"Mmhuhu. Mikhail. Don't tell me you just don't want to see me glistening with sweat?"

"Not at all. I'm simply worn out. My schedule lately has been relentless."

I sat on the training-hall bench and massaged my knotted muscles. It felt like every last drop of energy had been wrung out of me.

'I want to bite him so badly. Ah, I should bite him again tonight. His lines are so fine — how does a body that size even move like that──'

I squinted.

Having recently learned a new technique, I could hear every last scrap of Arlea's and Sophia's inner thoughts.

So this is what eye-rape feels like. Sitting on a bench wiping sweat with my clothes, and yet… Fine. Whatever.

I had bigger things to worry about.

Hey, Status Window.

Yeah. The growth really is fast.

I wiped away beads of sweat and snickered to myself. I'd narrowed the gap between me and those yanderes, even if only by a hair.

The day I break free from them isn't far off!

Even a baby's tiny hands can grow into something useful eventually.

Arlea, still dabbing at her own sweat, smirked.

"Mikhail. Wipe your sweat with your clothes like that and women are going to start flocking to you."

"But I don't have anything else to wipe with."

"Haa. Do I really have to look after even this for you?"

Arlea held out the handkerchief she'd been using. It was saturated with her scent, so her intentions were obvious at a glance.

Thank you, Speedwagon.

Honestly — a woman who would have coldly beaten any other man to death was offering me this kind of "favor." Anyone could see it was a sign of affection.

I sighed and waved her off.

"Hunger is a bigger problem than sweat right now, Your Highness. You skipped breakfast entirely and went straight into training, did you not?"

"Mm. I am hungry."

"Yes. Moving the body will do that. Shall I escort you to the nearest dining district?"

"The campus cafeteria should be fine. Let's go there."

We headed for the communal dining hall not far away. Communal in name only — the design was closer to a school cafeteria.

"Chef?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Bring the food. Now."

"Understood. I shall present today's course menu."

The moment Arlea sat down, the meal arrived at lightning speed. Then again, with first-class imperial chefs permanently stationed here, any delay would have been stranger.

I took my place beside her with practiced ease. Clingy yanderes had a habit of dumping the waiter's job on me just to be a nuisance.

"Ahem… This is pork tenderloin steak, raised on the abundant wheat of the Empire's southern breadbasket. Beside it is a mixed vegetable salad sent from the Shen Viscounty."

"Hmm. Is that so?"

Arlea cut the steak into cube-sized pieces with her fork and knife. Then, spearing one cube, she held it out toward me like a cat swishing its tail.

"Want some?"

Even a human body needs its ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠polishing compound! she added.

Has this woman lost her mind.

D-don't you dare take a bite! You'll lose!!

There's no such thing as unearned kindness — and yet here she was, dangling the proverbial carrot. Take one bite and she'd demand payment. Swallow something free and who knew what she'd do next.

Arlea. You're sitting in the palm of my hand.

I exhaled and shook my head. I was hungry enough to chew through a live bull, but not so starved that I'd throw away my pride. I could hold out this much. After my midnight escape, I'd once survived a full week on water and a single scrap of pemmican.

"Your Highness. I've already finished my meal."

Hoh—

Arlea flicked her fingers in midair.

"Ow."

"Mikhail. Who said you could lie?"

I'm not lying, dear wife.

"So a man who spent hours training, who I personally watched devour a packed lunch like a beggar the second he got hungry… suddenly decides to live as austerely as a priest?"

That doesn't make sense, Arlea chuckled, as if thoroughly enjoying the pushback.

…This is exactly why I can't stand sharp-eyed Arlea.

She always knew exactly which tail to step on.

"Mental discipline."

"Mental discipline?"

"Yes. If you punch an escape route through a chaotic battlefield, you need to conserve energy and supplies accordingly. This is training for that."

What I'd just said was a towering, well-dressed lie with almost nothing true in it. The real reason was that I'd been using the downtime to hunt for an escape hatch. I'd actually found one, and I'd been trying to scout it out.

In the Magic Engineering College's labyrinth garden, I'd discovered a hole so clean it looked deliberately dug — ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just wide enough for one adult to squeeze through.

Even a rat hole gets its day in the sun!

Don't block my path, Arlea. As the designated pillar-husband of the yanderes, I have to survive this catastrophe no matter what.

"Your Highness. I'd like to take my leave now so I can fulfill my duties."

"Wait."

But Arlea was a stubborn woman.

"Are you trying to snub the Empire's grace? Aang, just one bite. Just one little bite, okay? Hm?"

I'd bet anything — if she was clinging this hard, she'd definitely done something weird to that steak. That was the kind of woman Arlea was. She would steadily cut off every escape route until she finally landed the checkmate.

And if there was another reason… it was probably Sophia.

Th-that crazy woman…

She'd been tailing us this whole time. Lately she'd been hanging around the cafeteria during lunch just to talk to me, but the timing had clearly gone wrong.

I had zero interest in the unprecedented disaster of facing both of them at once.

Arlea read my blank reaction and finally sighed.

"Mikhail. If Professor Sophia has been harassing you, you should have just told me."

"……Tsk. Your Highness."

"Professor Sophia. I heard you were busy with the Four Great Magic Towers' freshman orientation."

"I-I had something come up that required me to bring an escort knight along."

Sophia spoke. It was free time right now — but in two hours, Arlea would be on duty.

"You'll be within your allotted hours, then. Sophia."

"Of course. Ah, Princess Arlea. The reason I'm moving this time is because of Professor Lou."

"Professor Lou, is it. Hmm."

Arlea's brow furrowed. She'd thought this was just a territorial jab — but it was a deliberate approach. Hard to block.

If it's official business, there will be consequences.

One wrong move and I'd be the toad getting hit by the flying rock.

And if Mikhail ends up taking a loss…

Judging further power games unwise, Arlea took a step back.

"Mikhail, go on."

I was thoroughly bewildered.

So she wasn't trying to feed me a spiked steak and wrap up a dazed virgin like a gift package…?

I'm the shepherd who just got got by the wolf girl.

"In exchange, once you're done, I'm going to dote on you rotten — so prepare yourself."

How dare anyone upstage a princess. Arlea's eyebrows twitched with a shiver.

"Mikhail. Th-this way……"

An old faculty-housing corridor with not a single light on. Sophia darted ahead, scouting the path with a furtiveness utterly unbecoming of a twelve-circle archmage.

Uuuugh.

I followed, eyes averted — but her modest underbust was bouncing in a way completely out of proportion to its size. Soft and jiggly, it brought Japanese pudding instantly to mind.

Underboob.

Who would have thought I'd see that open-village Joseon-style look here of all places.

"Ki-kihihit."

Focusing on the work is a hundred times better. Get caught by that washboard viper and there won't even be bones left to collect. I'd probably end up coated head to toe in aphrodisiac.

"H-here. Mikhail. What do ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you think of the Magic Engineering College's old faculty building?"

"It looks moderately dangerous."

Not the building — you.

"You really have to hand it to that man's personality. Setting up a last stand like this."

Sophia spoke while staring at the massive pillar blocking the entrance. The moment I identified it, my eyes narrowed.

"Ironblood Ore. The same mineral used extensively in my own armor."

"That's right, Mikhail. It comes from the southern Empire, and it's absurdly good at absorbing mana, isn't it?"

Ironblood Ore. One of the Empire's proudest minerals — the kind that nullified magic outright. Professor Lou handled any number of dangerous spells, so of course he'd installed multiple safety measures like this.

I narrowed down the available options. This laboratory contained an archive — a forbidden record vault inscribed with every document of the Empire. Finding those records was the objective.

But my objective wasn't some dusty record book. Or a grimoire, for that matter.

If there's a way to loosen their obsession, it's worth using.

It didn't have to be permanent. Even a temporary debuff was a windfall for me. Even the strongest beings in this world couldn't block everything.

It should be a huge help for the escape plan!

"I'll clear it, Professor. Could you step back just a little?"

I rolled up my sleeves and approached the doorframe. By channeling mana through my Aura Heart into muscle and capillary, I could expand my physical strength — even with a frame this slender.

"W-wai──"

Sophia stretched out an arm to warn me, but she never finished the sentence.

I lifted the pillar with ease and jerked my chin toward the gap I'd created.

"Go ahead. I'll follow right after."

"Ah, thank you. H-how am I ever supposed to repay this kindness!"

Sophia scrambled through. I released the pillar and stepped inside after her.

Thud—

"Ahem."

"W-we're trapped. This is…"

Aside from the billowing dust, it was a successful infiltration. Not that it was really an infiltration — a legitimate professor was standing right here, after all.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, yes. That was great."

Sophia sneezed like a kitten — achoo — and kept peeking back at the entrance we'd come through.

"Mikhail. Would it take you a while to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lift something like that obstruction again?"

I nodded.

"That's correct."

Even if my Aura Heart was overpowered, the capacity it held had limits. I'd already burned through roughly five percent — terrible fuel efficiency. My body was still unstable; that, too, would have to be improved through training.

"Hoh─ A-alright. I'll check the inner rooms first, so could you watch this area, Mikhail?"

"Understood."

"Th-thank you!"

Sophia offered her thanks and vanished straight down the end of the corridor.

Just as she'd asked, I began searching the forward rooms — and figured I might as well grab some equipment while I was at it.