Chapter 168
Chapter 168
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 168
Chapter Title: The Lord Exercising His Prima Nocte (9)
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Seeing Agon waiting for me from afar with an anxious look on his face, I jumped like a criminal caught red-handed and hastily stuffed the Lord's letter I'd been reading into my inner pocket. To let my heart flutter over a letter from another man while my husband fretted with such a weary expression... I was truly a failure as a wife. This wasn't right at all...
I steadied my wavering heart, forcing myself to ignore the Lord's words about waiting for me every day, and managed my expression as I stepped down from the carriage. Agon rushed over and enveloped me in a tight embrace that almost hurt.
"Rozina... Rozina! S-Sob... Hic... Rozinaaa! I'm sorry... Hic-sob... I'm really, really sorry..."
"Agon... Sob... Agooon..."
"I swear I'll never make you suffer again... Rozina, I'm so sorry... And I love you..."
I'm truly sorry to you, but... I had such a blissful time. Blissful enough to make your worries seem unfounded... So please don't apologize to me. I don't deserve it. I'm a wretched woman who thought of another man right up until I reached you... So please, don't cry...
Thinking of Agon, who must have gone without sleep praying for me, tore at my heart. Seeing how gaunt he'd become in just a day filled me with such guilt I couldn't lift my head. While I was writhing under the Lord, mewling and fawning over him, Agon hadn't even eaten, too worried about me...
To waver like that with a man who loves me this much... How could there be such a filthy woman? Overwhelmed by unbearable guilt, I burst into tears.
"Don't cry, Rozina... You didn't do anything wrong. It's all my fault. Sob, ugh... Rozina! It'll never happen again... Never, ever...!"
But Agon, unaware of my circumstances, just kept blaming himself and apologizing, only hurting me more.
Ah... This must be my punishment for letting my heart grow filthy too. Unable to blame anyone, I accepted the agony of self-reproach clawing at my chest.
Excusing myself to unpack, I retreated to my room and crumpled the Lord's letter from my inner pocket into a ball. It was my way of resolving never to think of him again. I had Agon... I couldn't think of another man anymore. I hid the wadded letter in the corner of the wardrobe to discard it secretly when he wasn't around, then changed into my everyday clothes and headed to the living room.
Agon presented me with apple pie he'd prepared just for me, saying it was my favorite. Agon... To go to such lengths for a wretch like me... Touched, I happily brewed some black tea to go with it.
"Sorry... This is all I could manage."
"Agon. No more apologies from now on. I'm really... fine. No, I don't want to think about it anymore. So let's forget yesterday and look ahead together."
"Rozina... Yeah! Let's do that! I'll make you happy, I promise!"
Thinking back to yesterday might make me waver again... For Agon's sake, it was best not to dwell on it. As I spoke brightly of our future, Agon seemed to relax a bit, responding with a joyful smile.
"Then... shall we skip the gloomy talk and have some tea time?"
"Yes! That sounds perfect!"
"Mmm. Annie's shop apple pie really is the best. Always so delicious."
"Mmm? Y-Yeah... Ahaha... Maybe because it's been so long. It tastes even better."
But then... something strange happened. This apple pie I loved so much... I couldn't taste it at all. Agon was eating it with such relish, so it wasn't the pie... For some reason, I just couldn't taste anything.
"I asked them to make it extra tasty thinking of you."
"Oh, really? Ahaha..."
And honestly... I think I knew why.
'Kuhaha! Alex's cooking is truly superb. Having a chef good enough for the capital work for me is pure bliss as an employer!'
Having savored those heavenly dishes for the first time in my life just a day ago... there was no way my tongue would be satisfied with this apple pie. In a way, it was only natural.
"It's... really delicious. Thank you, Agon."
But... I couldn't tell him that. For Agon's sake, who'd gone to such trouble... I had to pretend this tasteless lump of flour was delicious, chewing and chewing it down.
"I'm glad you like it..."
"Agon..."
Lord... Did you foresee even this and treat me that way? No... probably not. Like Agon, you just wanted to see me happy. But what now...? My daily life feels ruined because of you... Even if I try not to think of you, I know I will... Even after swearing never to again...
That day with the Lord—which felt both fleetingly short and endlessly long... wasn't some midsummer night's dream. I could feel him permeating every corner of my life. This dress I once adored no longer seemed pretty; this home that promised a happy future now felt cramped... All because of the Lord, clearly.
"I love you..."
But I decided to ignore it. Agon, who still looked at me with love, was precious, and receiving his affection made me... happy. For someone like me, who'd had nothing, Agon was a miracle blessing. I wouldn't dare wish for more.
Even in this small house, without luxuries... as long as I had Agon who loved me, I was content. So my feelings for the Lord... I'd neatly fold them away and return them to you.
I came up with a great way to stop thinking of the Lord... Repaint my body, stained by him, with Agon's color. If I could feel his love with my body directly, I'd be so happy nothing else would cross my mind.
And... sex with the Lord, whom I didn't love, had felt so good... Sex with Agon, whom I did love... would surely feel even better, right? So after tonight, the Lord wouldn't enter my thoughts again. I had Agon, after all.
*Knock knock*
"Rozina... C-Can I come in?"
"Yes... come in..."
Having bathed first, I sat on the small bed waiting for Agon. Soon after, he entered fresh from his shower, barely covering his lower half with a towel. His unusually bold appearance flushed my cheeks bright red.
"W-Well, it's coming off soon anyway..."
"R-Right... Ahaha..."
But at the same time, I felt a twinge of regret. Agon's body looked so... frail. His scrawny, muscle-less frame was endearing in a cute way, but utterly unreliable... I worried a bit. Could I entrust myself to him like this? With the Lord, I'd felt so safe in his arms... Seeing Agon's pitiful frame...
What on earth was I thinking? Comparing my husband to another man right before intimacy... Was I truly insane? I resented the Lord for making me think of him despite my vows to ignore him, and loathed myself for constantly comparing Agon to him.
"Then I'll undress too..."
"Uh-huh... Y-Yeah..."
To keep other thoughts at bay, I began stripping in front of Agon. To start our lovemaking as quickly as possible. But as I slipped off my last piece of underwear... Agon, who'd been fidgeting restlessly, suddenly lunged at me.
"Sorry, Rozina! I can't hold back anymore!"
"Agon?! W-Wait a second..."
"Like I could wait!"
And without any proper foreplay, he thrust his cock straight into my pussy. An unimaginable pain shot through my lower belly, and I couldn't hold back a scream.
"Aaaagh! Wait, sob... Aaagh! It hurts... Agon, please wait!"
Thinking sex with Agon would feel good... had been my delusion alone.