The One Who Could Have Been a Mother
I am the highest-ranking receptionist in the guild, second only to the guild master. All the other receptionists are my juniors. In other words, I’m the best at my job among them. That’s why I’m in charge of potion-related duties.
Potion duty is, without a doubt, the most difficult position in the entire guild. The actual volume of work isn’t that high. The workload is moderate—neither too much nor too little. If I didn’t procrastinate like I usually do, it wouldn’t be busy at all. The reason the difficulty is so high lies elsewhere. It’s because of situations like this.
I scan the documents handed over by the adventurer standing in front of the reception desk.
“Your reason is ineligible. You cannot apply for recovery potions with this kind of justification.”
I hand the documents back to the adventurer. I have no intention of accepting this guy’s application. I check his appearance. Unfocused, cloudy eyes. Slightly sluggish reactions overall. Trembling fingertips. Classic symptoms of recovery potion dependency. Dealing with people like him is my main job. Whenever someone like this shows up at the counter, the other staff call me over.
The adventurer stares at me. His dull gray eyes fix directly on mine. The rule is to rarely approve recovery potion requests from people in this state. So I follow protocol.
“I have,” the adventurer answers curtly. He’s using casual speech even though we’re not close.
I cut him off cleanly. I can’t leave even the slightest opening. The eyes of everyone around us focus on me and this adventurer. Passersby and the other receptionists are all stealing glances our way.
“Tsk…”
The adventurer clicks his tongue shortly and glares at me. This is a malicious complainer. Looks like things are about to get complicated. Normally the guild master would handle it, but today is different. The guild master isn’t here. It’s just me.
I absolutely do not show any displeasure. I respond with a blank expression.
For a moment, silence falls between me and the adventurer. He suddenly rips the documents to shreds and throws the torn pieces at my face. His breathing grows ragged. I can hear him panting heavily. People like this usually have a high chance of causing an incident. I quickly call for the security staff. A security officer comes running from a distance and drags the malicious adventurer away. Once he’s gone, only silence remains at the reception desk.
“I definitely can’t let Noel see this.”
It’s a good thing I kept Noel from coming out of the office. If he had seen something like this, he’d never want to help with guild work again.
“…That was intense.”
Noel’s voice suddenly comes from right beside me. My head turns automatically at the unexpected sound. Noel is standing there, watching me. Did he sneak out?
“I was curious what was going on.”
He got caught right away. This isn’t good. Noel picks up the torn pieces of paper, gathers them all, and crumples them into a ball. He tosses the wad straight into the trash can. It goes in perfectly.
“You had such a serious look on your face when you left. How could I not be curious? So I followed you secretly.”
For some reason, it pisses me off. The fact that he looks completely unfazed makes me even more irritated. I flick him hard on the forehead. Noel clutches his forehead and winces in pain, then plops down onto a chair. I feel drained. Noel drags over another chair from somewhere, sets it beside mine, and sits down next to me.
“Do people like that come here often? Must be tough.”
“…If I say they come often, are you not going to come help next time?”
“I might come if you give me seven silver coins.”
“Hey… six was already a lot, you know?”
The way Noel casually jokes around is a little annoying. Is he doing it on purpose? To keep the mood from getting awkward?
“People like that come here a lot. Don’t they come to Yuria’s potion shop?”
“They come to our shop quite a bit too.”
“I figured. How do you handle them?”
“It’s not much different from what you do. Just say no and chase them out.”
“……You?”
With that small body of his, I doubt he could manage it. Even if they’re broken from the potions, they’re still adventurers.
“Not me—Yuria.”
“That makes sense. Noel wouldn’t be reliable for that.”
“Ahaha…”
Noel would never be able to handle this kind of thing. It would be fine if it were the sharp and capable Yuria dealing with them instead.
“You don’t seem all that reliable either, Irene.”
“That’s true.”
“Then why are you the one doing it?”
“Because I’m the highest rank here, excluding the guild master. If the guild master is around, she usually handles it.”
“Isn’t it hard?”
At those words, I flinch for a moment. Something surges up from deep inside. Of course it’s hard. I’m tired of seeing people like that too. I don’t want to do this kind of work at all. If I could, I’d change positions immediately. But I can’t.
“It is hard. But it has to be me.”
If I don’t take this job, someone else will have to. I want to avoid that at all costs.
“It’s better that I do it. Better than letting another staff member handle it.”
“Is that… for the sake of the other employees?”
For the sake of the other employees? Completely wrong. This isn’t for them. It’s purely for my own satisfaction. You could even call it hypocrisy. I’m ashamed to show Noel my true feelings, so I just smile. Then I force out a joke.
I smile and brush it off. I bury the infuriating things deep in my heart. Everyone lives like that, don’t they? The adventurers, the guild staff, even the owner of the potion shop.
Noel smiles back at my words and says,
“Actually, this is a sweet position, you know? The work is light except for the occasional annoying complainer.”
Irene says this with a smile, as if it’s some funny joke, her face bright and cheerful. But I know. That expression is what people make when they’re trying to gloss things over. She’s smiling, but she isn’t really smiling. Beneath it, there’s nothing but sadness.
“So you’re a liar too, Irene?”
The words slipped out before I could stop them. I couldn’t hold back after seeing her face. Because I felt a sense of kinship. This was something I used to do to Yuria all the time. Hiding my emotions because I didn’t want to worry the people around me. Just smiling and brushing it off. I hid the fact that I couldn’t sleep at night. I hid the nightmares that tormented me. I even hid the anxiety that crept in whenever memories from the war resurfaced. I just kept piling it all up inside.
In Irene’s appearance, I saw my own behavior. That’s why I couldn’t hold back and spoke up. Since I’ve already said this much, I might as well go all the way. There’s no point in holding back now.
“You’ve really been through a lot.”
I look directly into Irene’s eyes. Her pupils tremble.
“You’re always working so hard. I see how much effort you put in.”
Irene lowers her head deeply. All I can see now is her hair. I cover both of her hands with mine and hold them tightly for a moment. You can’t just keep everything buried inside. Sometimes you have to let it out. That goes for me, for Irene, and probably for the other adventurers too.
Irene speaks in a trembling voice.
“What should I say… Noel, you…”
“Hm? Me?”
“You seem to have a lot of life experience. Even though you look like a little kid.”
Well, of course. I may look like a young girl, but I obviously have more life experience than an ordinary one.
“It feels a bit… like having a mother?”
“……What?”
Mother? Out of nowhere?
“Mother? Me?”
“Yeah. Mom. Can I call you Mom?”
No, absolutely not. No matter how you look at it, I’m not a mother. I’m not old enough for that.
“What are you talking about?!”
I quickly pull my hands away from hers. I can’t keep holding hands with someone who says such disgusting things. It’s physically impossible. I don’t have a child this big. I’ve never given birth to someone like this.
Irene suddenly lifts her head and jumps up from her seat. I stand up from my chair too and back away. I don’t want to be anywhere near her, even for a second.
“Hey, Noel.”
“Y-yes?”
“Can I hug you just once?”
“No? Absolutely not.”
I keep backing away to put more distance between us. The more I retreat, the closer Irene steps forward. It looks like she’s trying to close the gap. We face off, maintaining our distance. Only tension and silence flow between us.
Irene breaks the silence.
“Mom?! Me?”
Irene lunges at me. I duck to avoid her, but I can’t quite dodge in time. She grabs my collar.
“This feels gross! Let go!”
“Noel. Let me hug you just once. No—hug me!”
Irene tries to press her body against mine. I push her away with both arms as hard as I can. The strength in my pushing arms gradually fades. Just as I’m about to give up and accept my fate…
“What the hell are you two doing?”
Kirke’s voice rang out.