8. You're Talentless.
Munch munch—gulp—! Chomp chomp—gulp—!
“Delicious, so delicious…! Indeed! To think people nowadays eat such tasty food…! What a truly blessed world this is!”
The food scattered across the table vanished in an instant. It was like watching one of those mukbang videos back home in Korea—food shoved into her mouth at breakneck speed. No, this went beyond mere mukbang. If you gathered every competitive eater from a food fighter contest and made them race in a time attack, it might look something like this. And if such a contest existed, I'd bet my entire fortune that the tiny girl in front of me would take first place.
The girl who had appeared just moments ago—right when I was supposed to pay the price for smacking Bella's ass—had charged at me out of nowhere, hugging my neck tight and joyfully calling me “Yeonja…!” Before I could even ask who she was, her stomach let out a massive growl, her eyes welling up pitifully. Bella and I dropped our spat on the spot and brought the little one to a restaurant to at least feed her.
“What kind of one-sided assault is that, you psycho? You hit my ass first.”
“So what if I wanna smack my woman's ass?”
“Wh-who's your woman…?!”
“C'mon, still playing hard to get? Time to accept it already. You woke up to a morning kiss this morning, remember? Want me to give you another?”
I puckered my lips and leaned in teasingly. Bella recoiled in horror, her face screaming disgust—but her ears turning beet red just made her look like a classic tsundere embarrassed out of her mind.
“Y-you sleazy bastard…! That was just your damn ability, you fucker…!”
“Sure, sure. It wasn't you who sleepily murmured, 'Nn… What's wrong with one more?' That was totally Cheong-ah, right?”
Who was it that gazed at me with those hazy eyes right after the morning kiss, smiling all blissed out? I shrugged mockingly, and Bella ground her teeth.
“F-fuck! Th-that was 'cause I was still half-asleep…! Ah, why the hell am I even explaining myself?! You crazy…!”
“Hey now, Bella. Watch your mouth around the kid, you foul-mouthed bitch. You're such trash, like a wild animal or something.”
“Y-you're cursing too…?!”
Anyway, we'd brought this little girl here because she looked so pitiful—face smeared with sauce, clothes like filthy rags draped over her tiny frame. After inhaling her food nonstop, she suddenly choked, clutching her throat and thumping her chest. I quickly poured water into a cup and held it to her lips.
“Koff…! Kack…!”
“Here, water. Take it slow. No one's stealing it.”
“Thank you, Yeonja!”
She gulped down the water I tilted for her, flashed a toothy grin my way—“Thanks!”—and dove back into the food like a storm.
Haah… I told her to eat slower. Bella watched me with a strangely knowing look.
“What? Why're you staring like that?”
“Just… surprisingly wholesome. Didn't think you'd be good with kids.”
“Eh, I like kids.”
“You? Huh. Fair enough. Why, though?”
“Had a little sister. Big age gap with her and me.”
I pictured my sister, about 14 years younger. Damn—that kid's probably in middle school by now, since I've been stuck in this world. I'm still 29, so she'd be around second year. Our dual-income parents left her to me from when she was one; I'd change her diapers daily, mix formula, carry her everywhere. …She's doing okay, right?
Lost in thought, I noticed Bella's expression turn odd.
“Hey, Ian… Didn't you say you had no family?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Pretty much.”
Explaining the isekai thing felt awkward, so I'd always told Cheong-ah and Bella I was an orphan with no kin. …Wait, does she think my sister died or something? How do I even explain this?
My guess hit the mark. Bella's face fell into sorrow, and she patted my shoulder.
“Sorry, man. I was being thoughtless.”
“Nah, it's not like that.”
“It is, you punk. Seeing her must've reminded you of your little sis who died young. I was a shitty bitch. Sorry for bringing it up.”
“……No, uh.”
Should I correct her? Spill the truth? After a moment's debate, I figured if it worked in my favor, why not let the misunderstanding slide? Can't meet her anyway, so it's kinda true. …Sorry, Mom, Dad. And my dear little sis, sorry.
“At least you've got Cheong-ah now… Hey, Ian.”
Bella's face suddenly hardened as she called my name coldly.
“Yeah, what?”
“……Where's Cheong-ah?”
“……Huh?”
Only then did I feel the emptiness. Cheong-ah was gone. …Oh shit.
“Wait, didn't you come with Cheong-ah?”
“Fuck…! I was focused on grabbing you…!”
“Wh-what do we do…? Cheong-ah's a pain to appease when she's pissed.”
And this time, she'd be really pissed. Bella shrugged it off like it was my problem.
“Figure it out yourself. She's your wife. Not my circus.”
“Hey, fuck… You're partly at fault too…!”
“Me?! None of this happens if you hadn't smacked my ass outta nowhere!”
“How could I hold back when your ass pissed me off like that?!”
“What kinda bullshit… you evil bastard!”
Bella yelled at my perfectly logical point. Why couldn't she get it? It was so simple.
“Listen up, Bella. Say a bag of gold drops from the sky right in front of you, no owner in sight. What do you do?”
She answered without hesitation.
“Pick it up, duh. Finder's keepers.”
“Ooh, criminal mindset on point. That's larceny by found property back home.”
Not that this world has such laws. Maybe some other kingdom I haven't seen, but Tronen Kingdom? Nah. What's on the ground is the finder's. Unless the owner shows up strong enough to take it back. Magic and magic stones made things advanced, but at its core, this was still a might-makes-right world.
“……What's that?”
“Just an example.”
“Lame-ass. So how's random gold relate to you smacking my ass?”
“That's the relation. Explained it already.”
“……What?”
“Ha, thick-headed bitch.”
“F-fuck…! You're the one explaining it weird—what bullshit is this?!”
Bella screamed. I deliberately ignored her, turning away.
“Hey, don't ignore me…?!”
The girl had demolished every scrap on the table and was now sucking sauce off her fingers.
“Mm…”
“Aigoo, hold on…”
I grabbed tissues from the dispenser and wiped her hands clean. Sauce revealed her knuckles—covered in scars.
“F-fuck…! Ian, you little… Argh, fuck. Can't even curse properly with a kid around!”
Damn, what hardships made a kid's hands like this? More scars than the calluses on Cheong-ah's sword-grip palm, and she's swung blades her whole life. It soured my mood; I tuned out Bella's bitching.
The girl glanced between my face, her hands, and mine, then beamed.
“Tch… Hey, sauce on her cheek too.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Thank you again, Yeonja!”
Her speech was like some old-timer's—archaic vibes. If not for her girl-child looks, she'd pass for a geezer.
“No need to thank me. But you've been calling me 'Yeonja' nonstop—what's that mean?”
“Yeonja is Yeonja, Yeonja!”
She grinned brightly. No clue, but couldn't say it.
“R-right. Got it.”
“What 'got it'? Ian, did you understand that?”
“Like hell I did.”
Kid talk's hard to parse. Still, she seemed healthy—good enough. She eyed the empty plates wistfully, stomach still rumbling.
“Want more?”
She nodded eagerly.
“Yes, please! May I have more?”
“Sure. Big bro—er, uncle here's got plenty of cash.”
Not that I earned it myself.
We ordered more. While waiting, Bella asked casually,
“So, little friend, what's your name?”
The girl's eyes drooped, lips pouting. She turned not to Bella, but me, all sulky.
“Yeonja, do you not know my name?”
“Uh… Yeah? We just met today?”
Her face lit up instantly.
“I see! Sorry! I must've mistaken—we've met before, I thought. But it's today!”
“Y-yeah.”
“Right! Then I'll tell you my name, Yeonja! It's—”
A chill ran down my spine from behind, followed by an icy voice.
“……You left me abandoned on the street, yet you seem to be having quite the enjoyable time, husband.”