16. After Infiltrating the Red Evil Mercenaries' Lord's Castle
After infiltrating the Red Evil Mercenaries' lord's castle, we immediately split into two groups. Bella's mission was her original goal: rescuing Karlson. As for us...
"Darling, where to?"
"Let me see... According to the map, this way?"
We were heading to the lord's bedroom to assassinate the count. After lengthy discussions, we'd concluded that killing the count would simplify everything.
We wouldn't lose a war against the count—not with Bella's Red Evil Mercenaries, who were all veteran soldiers better than most, practically one-man armies, plus Behena's loyal troops. Add Cheong-ah, Bella, and Dina to the mix. Sure, we were outnumbered, but wars in my old world or this one were never just about headcount. With our overwhelming elite forces, we had plenty of strategic and tactical options to turn the tide in our favor.
Hell, if our party charged in with my buffs, we could smash half the lord's army on our own. But that would damage the territory itself. Those soldiers might follow the count now, but they were still the domain's residents and the count's men. Killing or injuring them wouldn't help Behena much once she took over.
So after brainstorming, we'd settled on the best option: assassinate the count. Without him, his vassals and soldiers—lacking a figurehead or legitimacy—would have no choice but to grudgingly accept the count's sole heir, Behena, as their new lord.
That's why we were sneaking toward the count now.
One might wonder why I was tagging along on this risky job. Simple: Cheong-ah can't read maps.
"No matter how hard I stare at it, I can't make sense of it. You see it so clearly, darling."
"Well, I had to learn navigation back in the day."
In the fucking army, no less. What a jack-of-all-trades I was. How much did they work me in under two years? I got dragged everywhere as a fill-in whenever they were short-staffed, and damn if it wasn't coming in handy now.
Hey, battery commander, warrant officer—you assholes watching? Thanks to you pricks, I'm putting those lessons to good use here.
"...Fuck."
"Darling...?"
"Sorry. Just cursed out of nowhere. Bad memories hit me."
"It's fine, darling. Happens to everyone. I curse sometimes too when dark thoughts creep in."
"You? Cursing?"
"Yeah, uh... like that bitch Bella?"
"Why her of all people?"
"Who knows?"
Anyway, couldn't Bella—the map expert—handle the assassination while Cheong-ah rescued Karlson from the dungeon? Or pair someone else with her? Fair point. Bella insisted on saving her subordinate herself, and honestly, I couldn't stand sitting safely somewhere, fidgeting while my comrades risked their lives. Better to stick together; I could offer even minor help that way. Plus, maintain buff range.
And above all, I trusted Cheong-ah and Bella.
"This way, Cheong-ah."
"Got it, darling."
Those two would protect me no matter what. And I'd protect them, even if it wrecked me.
We crept cautiously down the dark corridor and reached the lord's bedroom undetected. A fairly large door stood before us. No sounds leaked from inside—good soundproofing. Not bad; it meant they wouldn't notice us entering.
"...Cheong-ah."
"Yes."
We exchanged glances, signaling. I'd open the door. I gripped the handle slowly and turned it.
Click.
Locked, as expected. Never learned picking.
"Locked. Bust it."
Cheong-ah nodded, drew her sword in a flash, and swish-swish—the blade whistled through the air. Then thud-thud. The lock and handle sliced clean off.
At the same instant, flesh-slapping sounds and moans erupted from within.
Slap-slap!
"Hahk! Huhk...!"
"Ahng...! Ang...!"
...Hmm. Sounded familiar.
The door creaked open. Inside, as expected: a fat man and woman tangled on the bed, pistoning away enthusiastically. The woman's necklace marked her as a slave. Figured he'd be balls-deep. So engrossed, they hadn't noticed the door—or us—despite the noise.
The count's flab jiggled, sweat pouring like broth. Beneath him, the woman's expression looked forced.
...Ugh, gross. Wouldn't mind a naked woman, but dude's ass? Pass.
It was so pathetic I wanted to close my eyes.
"Grk...! Hah...! How's that feel, eh? Taste of a noble's cock!"
"Ahk! Hak...! So good, love it, ahng...! First time for a dick like this, hak...!"
"Krahaha! Yeah, nothing like those other losers' pricks!"
Guy seemed like a shitty lay too. Slamming his full weight in deep didn't hit the good spots—you gotta be precise. Wild thrusting ain't it. Her face said it all: unfocused eyes darting around.
And sure enough, between the two, the slave woman—faking it—noticed us first.
"The count's cock... Ah? Our eyes met." She startled with a shriek.
"Kyaa! Kyaahhh! C-Count...! Over there!"
The count whipped around at her pointing finger, jolting as he faced us.
"What? What's wrong... Huh?! W-Who the hell are you?!"
...Ah, fuck. I quickly covered Cheong-ah's eyes.
"Darling, what's wrong?"
"Don't look, Cheong-ah. That's filthy. Dicks, dicks. My pretty girl only sees pretty things."
"Heehee, you're so sweet. Okay, eyes shut."
My dick was enough for her—especially not some tiny kid-prick. Wastes the eyes. Well, big ones from other guys don't count either.
"Jealous darling makes me happy."
"Nah, this ain't jealousy..."
More like possessiveness. Same thing? Anyway, with Cheong-ah's eyes covered, I aimed my crossbow at the count and growled.
Who calls a thumb-sized baby dick a cock, you little shit?
"Who else? Assassins, dumbass. Figured that much getting here? Cover that micro-dick first? Or want an arrow?"
"W-What...? Who sent you? N-No, Behena! Yeah, that bitch Behena!"
The count yanked the blanket over himself, panicking but sharp enough to deduce before I answered.
Fine, he guessed right. I nodded.
"Yeah, Behena sent us. Wants your dick and head both sliced off."
"Insolent...! Fine! Don't know what she offered, but I'll double it!"
"Oh? How much."
"What?"
"How much you offering? Behena bid high on your head."
"...Grr, fine. Don't know her price, but if you back off and drag that bitch here instead, I'll pay triple."
"Whoa, triple?"
"Yes, triple! Deal?"
"Hmm..."
We weren't taking a dime, but...
The count smirked smugly, thinking I was tempted as I "pondered." Then his eyes slid sideways—to Cheong-ah's face and body.
"This fucking prick."
Before he could ogle, I fired the bolt. Thwang! It thunked into his thigh like a rubber band snap.
"Gyaaaaah...!"
Pig-squeal echoed as he clutched his leg, rolling on the floor.
"Kyaa! Kyaahhh! Count!"
The slave screamed too. Ears ringing.
"Hey, you. Quiet down or die."
"Mmph...!"
She clamped her own mouth, nodding frantically. I strode over to the count, grabbed his fat, sweaty head by the hair, and yanked him up.
Tears streaming, he still yelled defiantly.
"Why shoot?! I offered triple! You heard—!"
"Oh, that?" I shrugged, pressing the crossbow to his forehead.
"Wasn't taking shit anyway."
"W-What...?"
I squeezed the trigger—
"Darling, danger!"
Cheong-ah leaped in front, swinging her sword. Sparks flew with a clang!
Someone shoved my chest hard, snatching the count from my grip and hurling him back.
"Urk...!"
He tumbled away. And there...
"...Huff, huff..."
A black-clad assassin, breathing ragged. Regina.
"Hmph, slipped away. Assassins sure run fast, eh?"
In the tent, amid drifting smoke, Dina murmured softly, covering her mouth with her sleeve.
Behena coughed behind her. "A-Are you okay, Dina?"
"This body is fine. No injuries to begin with. Sorry, noble girl. Should've caught that shadow rat, but alas."
"N-No, I'm unhurt too. That's enough."
Dina nodded at Behena's words, gazing where Regina had fled.
"Is it? Thanks. Anyway..."
"Yes?"
"...Nah, nothing."
She'll be fine. Yeonja surely had the brat and beast with him.