We Are the Interviewers

Lately, whenever Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree came home to Golmokjib, they were busy.

If they hadn't eaten dinner at the animal hospital, they would scurry straight to the dining table and plant themselves there. That table was where each of their three bowls was set — their own personal dining spots. They would sit, tails thumping tap-tap-tap against the floor, and the food would come.

The three of them would demolish their meals in an instant, then lap up their water with wet little slurps. And as if they had made a pact, they would each dash off to the bathroom. Fssshh~ After a long, satisfying pee, they would race straight to Lee Jun's room.

To sleep.

The moment they lay down, they were off to dreamland. Soon the room would fill with snores — hnnnk-hnnnk, grrk-grrk. They slept so deeply that even when Lee Jun walked in and out of the room, they didn't so much as twitch.

It was all the aftereffect of spending the entire day at Mongmong Animal Hospital with their nerves stretched taut, watching every person who came and went. They even kept an eye on people just walking past the front of the hospital, so it was no wonder they were exhausted.

A routine so different from the usual.

On an ordinary day, the begging for food would have been the same. Eat, drink water, go to the bathroom. After that, they would wander the house at their leisure. They had returned to their territory, so of course they had to patrol. That patrol would extend all the way to the Sarangbang in the yard. They would check on the Sarangbang cats and make sure the water and food always left out in the yard hadn't run out.

In the old days there would have been food for the alley cats too, but their food was at the Sarangbang now. The food and water in the yard were for the birds that occasionally flew in. Sweeping the house and yard from top to bottom like that had been their daily round. Then, if Lee Jun or Go Gi-jin were in the living room, the three of them would rest or doze there until the two men went to bed.

Anyway — these three, who were usually in such a hurry to sleep the moment they got home, had for some reason planted themselves at the window with their heads pressed together.

Hoesaegi opened his mouth.

"Gkamnyangi-ong, Sapsaree-ong. We are the interviewers, ong."

"That's right. Interviewers."

"Hehe, we're the interviewers, we are!"

When Sapsaree grinned with delight, his cat hyungs let out a heavy sigh.

"Sapsaree-ong, an interviewer does not go hehe, ong."

"He's right. What Hoesaegi said is correct. No smiling."

At his hyungs' words, Sapsaree — who had been lying down meeting their eyes — sprang up to a sit, his eyes round as saucers.

"I-is that so? I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't?"

"That's right, ong."

"That's right."

"W-why can't I laugh, why?"

A plump little cotton-puff of a paw settled gently on the flustered Sapsaree's leg. It was Gkamnyangi's front paw.

"Look, Sapsaree. Think about it. If you go hehe, how much will the new family members look down on you?"

"Huk!"

Sapsaree startled and went on.

"I-is that how it is?"

At some point Hoesaegi had crossed his paws, and he nodded with them still folded. His expression was rather stern.

"That's right, ong. We must not be looked down on by the newcomers, ong."

"Correct. With ones you've just met, you have to come on strong."

This wasn't armchair theory. It was worldly wisdom they had earned rolling around out in the field.

Sapsaree had a great realization.

"I-is that so?"

"That's right, ong. You have to look strong, ong."

"That's how they won't look down on you."

Thump! Sapsaree stamped a front paw on the floorboards.

"I won't let the newcomers — the new family — look down on me, I won't. Hyungnims, teach me more, please!"

If he asked to be taught, of course they had to teach him. He was their little brother.

"Hoo-ong!"

Hoesaegi uncrossed his paws and sank into thought.

"Hmph!"

Gkamnyangi turned his head, gazing out the window.

What the two of them were thinking about was the same. What they had done when newcomers first appeared in their territory.

Hoesaegi spoke first.

"We have to find it out, ong."

"Find it out, we do?"

"That's right, ong. Watching the newcomers' faces and their attitudes, we have to figure out what they came here thinking, ong."

"Faces, attitudes! I got it, I did!"

Just as Sapsaree was carefully turning Hoesaegi's words over in his mind, Hoesaegi's eyes flashed and he went on.

"The look in their eyes is important too, ong. No — the look in their eyes is the most important, ong."

"The look in their eyes is the most important, it is?"

"That's right, ong. Faces and attitudes can be faked, ong. However!"

Hoesaegi, who had been sitting with his paws crossed, lifted a front paw high. The moment four pupils locked onto that raised paw, Hoesaegi spoke with an expression of utter conviction.

"You cannot fake the look in your eyes, ong. Whatever that one is thinking when he comes into our territory, it's all right there in his eyes, ong."

"That's the truth."

Gkamnyangi started chiming in.

"If you look at their eyes, you can tell why they came to our territory."

"Is that so, is it?"

At some point Gkamnyangi had gotten up and crossed his paws too, and he nodded as he spoke.

"That's right, Sapsaree. You can tell whether they're the kind who'll live quietly in our territory, or the kind who came to stage a coup d'état."

Sapsaree had no idea what "coup d'état" meant among the things Gkamnyangi had said. But the word "coup d'état" sounded incredibly cool. So he muttered "coup d'état, coup d'état" under his breath, memorizing it, when Hoesaegi added from beside him.

"That's right, ong. If it looks like they're the kind who'll invade our territory, you have to crush their spirit from the start, ong. So they can never talk back, ong."

At Hoesaegi's words, Sapsaree had another realization.

Coup d'état means the ones who come invading, it does. Wow! That's a really cool word, it is!

It was a somewhat mistaken realization. But whether you staged a rebellion from the inside to seize power, or invaded from the outside — looking at the result, it meant picking a fight. Sapsaree packed the cool word "coup d'état" tightly into his head.

"Sapsaree, finding out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠why a newcomer is trying to enter our territory is the most important thing, ong."

"Right. Whether they're a threat to us, or the kind who'll mix in well."

"I got it, I did. No coup d'états, no!"

When Sapsaree answered proudly, using the word he'd just learned, the two cats curled up the corners of their mouths.

As expected, my little brother is smart, ong.

This kid! He gets it right away. That's my little brother for you.

That's what they were thinking.

Having learned a new word and used it, Sapsaree was thrilled. So he asked, eyes sparkling.

"Is there more, is there?"

Sorting out the ones who would threaten the pack was the most important task. After that, what else did they need to watch out for?

Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi rolled their eyes, sinking into thought. Then Hoesaegi suddenly — clap! — did a Paw Clap.

"Ah, I forgot something important, ong."

"What is it?"

"What is it, what?"

When Gkamnyangi and Sapsaree asked at the same time, Hoesaegi smacked his lips instead of answering. The thought itself had made saliva pool in his mouth.

Gulp.

After swallowing once more, Hoesaegi spoke with a grave expression.

"You have to be careful of the ones who give you Tasty Water, ong. They're dangerous, ong."

Thud!

That was the sound of Gkamnyangi's hind paw slamming the floorboards. Gkamnyangi snorted, puffing air from his nose as he spoke.

"That's right! Anyone who gives you Tasty Water is a really bad one. You must never eat it."

What the two of them had recalled was the one who had kidnapped them, locked them in a cramped iron cage, and given them Churu. Fury smoldered in the two cats' eyes as they remembered that time.

Sapsaree looked at his two hyungs with an awkward expression and asked.

"But Hyungnims. What if they give me that rich, savory water, what then? I shouldn't eat that either, I shouldn't? Strong Brother gave me some this morning, he did? It was tasty, it was."

Sapsaree was talking about the pet milk Go Gi-jin had given him that morning, which he'd eaten with relish. The cats answered immediately, as if there was no need to even think about it.

"What Strong Brother gives is good, ong."

"What Strong Brother gives, you can eat."

"That's right, ong. The Tasty Water Strong Brother gives, you can eat that too, ong."

"That's right, Sapsaree. Anything our family gives, you can eat it all."

"That's right, ong. Our family is all good and kind, ong."

"Is that so? Our family is all good, they are?"

"Of course, ong! And there's something else important, ong. You have to give them a poke that doesn't hurt, ong."

At Hoesaegi's words, the other two nodded vigorously, as if they'd just remembered.

"Right. Hyungnim said we shouldn't make our friends wait lots and lots."

"That's right, it is. Hyungnim said they gotta ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sleep lots and lots, they do."

"Then the friends shouldn't be scared either, ong."

"That's right, they shouldn't. A scary teacher is no good, no. The friends shake like this, they do."

When Sapsaree gave his body a full-body shiver, his long fur rippled in a wave.

Go Gi-jin, who happened to be sitting on the sofa watching television, turned his head and spotted Sapsaree shaking himself.

"Aigoo, that body of yours itchin'? Sapsaree, c'mere now, let me brush that coat of yours."

He meant to brush the fur while checking the condition of the skin. In that instant, Sapsaree's shaking stopped dead. Seeing that, Go Gi-jin burst out laughing.

"Ahahaha, that little rascal, he's really somethin' smart. Soon as I say I'll brush him, he stops right there."

Lee Jun turned his head too, looked at the three of them, and added.

"Leave them be. They're probably tired. Besides, Manager Jang said she'd bathe Sapsaree in a few days anyway."

"That so? Well then... but Hyungnim. They ain't sleepin' today, are they?"

"Yeah, I noticed."

The two of them watched the three animals for a moment, then turned back to the television as if it were nothing special.

Hoesaegi looked at the backs of Lee Jun and Go Gi-jin's heads and spoke.

"We have to like our friends the way Hyungnim and Strong Brother do, ong."

"That's right. Mongmong Noonim is good too."

"Petting Teacher is good, he is. Good Teacher is good too, he is."

Petting Teacher was Yeo Un-hyeok, and Good Teacher was Yoo Mu-hwan.

"Poke Teacher is good, and Euang Teacher is good too."

Poke Teacher was the nickname Kim Jaeyeon had earned for being good at giving injections, and Euang Teacher was Cha Da-jeong, who had wailed at the top of her lungs when they all watched the videos of Haennim-i and the Somang-is together. Cha Da-jeong had cried like that again later, when the Yonggami came to Mongmong Animal Hospital.

Anyway, it meant that all the teachers they lived alongside were good.

"That's right, it is. They're all good, they are."

Sapsaree, who had been agreeing with his hyungs, suddenly had his eyes light up. Then he said to them.

"I got it, I did! I get it now, I do!"

"Get what, ong?"

"Coup d'états are bad, they are. We have to pick out the coup d'états, we do."

"That's right."

"If they give you tasty stuff, that's bad, it is. Only our family should give it, they should."

"That's right, ong. You must not let your heart go soft just because they give you something tasty, ong."

"And we just have to pick out good newcomers like our family, we do!"

"That's correct, ong. Sapsaree-ong, you're smart, ong."

"Yeah, our little brother's really smart."

His shoulders swelling at his hyungs' praise, Sapsaree opened his mouth.

Sapsaree had spat out a cool line without even knowing what an interviewer was.

"That's right, ong. I am an interviewer, ong."

"I'm an interviewer too."

The three of them held their heads high and stiff.

Without knowing what an interviewer was, the three of them had arrived at the following conclusions.

Put simply, it boiled down to this.

It was a fearsome conclusion that lined up perfectly with the concerns of any interviewer facing a room of applicants. Having arrived at it, the three of them rose from their seats with thoroughly unburdened faces.

They padded off toward Lee Jun's room, paws tapping, and spoke as they went.

"Hyungnims-ong, I am going to sleep, ong."

"Hyungnims, I'm going to bed."

"I'm going to sleep, I am. Hyungnims, sleep well, you should!"

The next day, the three who came to work with Lee Jun and Go Gi-jin had a fierce light packed into their eyes.

Hoesaegi especially. The moment he stepped out of the carrier, his golden eyes flashed as he swept a look across the animal hospital.

"No one can escape my eyes, ong!"

Beside him, Gkamnyangi huffed and sniffed, putting a fierce force into his gaze.

"I'll sniff out every last new smell!"

Faced with his hyungs' fierce, bulging-eyed expressions, Sapsaree did exactly the same. He put force into his eyes, sniffed the air, and declared with grim resolve.

"Coup d'état, I'll catch you, I will!"

Watching the three of them roam around with flashing eyes the instant they walked in, Go ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Gi-jin spoke up.

"Hyungnim, them little fellas lookin' to play huntin' games first thing this mornin'? Their eyes are all gleam-gleam. Aigoo, take a look at Sapsaree there. Don't he look just like Taesan when that fella's herdin' the young'uns into the pen?"

Lee Jun offered an awkward smile at Go Gi-jin, who was saying Sapsaree looked exactly like Taesan herding cattle.

"Y-yeah."

He had a faint idea why. It was probably because of what they had said the day before — that they would become interviewers and find good teachers.

That said.

They've really puffed their necks up, haven't they?

Lee Jun watched their retreating figures as they walked toward the second floor with their necks held stiff and proud, and let out a shallow sigh. It was a sigh of relief.

I'm glad they don't look as shaken as I thought they might.

He was truly grateful that, rather than shrinking back at the news that new people were coming, they were carrying themselves with such confidence.