Better Than Catnip
What is that? What did they smear on themselves?
Lee Jun sank deep into the sofa, eyes fixed on the video. He would know soon enough. He waited for the narrator's voice to fill in the answer—but Go Gi-jin beat the voice-over to it.
Gi-jin came out of the bathroom, flopped down on the floor with a heavy thud, and leaned back against the sofa.
"Them tigers go crazy for elephant dung, I tell ya!"
"Elephant dung?"
"What I mean is—lions out on the savanna, they hug elephant dung and just love it, don't they? I heard tigers like it the same way. Take a look at that. There's grass stuck all over it, see?"
Now that Gi-jin had said it, Jun could see it clearly: a ball the size of a soccer ball, with bits of grass clinging to its surface.
"Now that you mention it, I think I have heard that somewhere."
"They love it that much, y'know."
While the two of them were talking, the screen changed. Seorak was rubbing his whole body against something that looked like a clod of dirt, utterly delighted. He even buried his face in the clump.
"Ugh!"
A gut reaction. Jun's face twisted, and Gi-jin laughed.
"Aigoo, hyungnim! They say elephant dung don't even smell."
"I suppose dung from grass-eaters wouldn't be that pungent. Still looks pretty rough, though."
"They even start fires with elephant dung, y'know. If it stank, how would they manage that? They cook food over those fires and everything."
Jun's expression eased.
"Huh. Now that you put it that way, I guess you're right."
"That's what I'm sayin'. Anyhow, elephants are the kindest creatures around, I tell ya. Even their dung's useful."
Gi-jin, who adored elephants, watched the screen with a fond little smile.
"Aigoo, look at that rascal goin' wild for it."
"Mm..."
Jun held his tongue as Seorak, face still buried in the clump of elephant dung, smacked his lips. It did not look remotely appealing from where Jun sat—but Seorak looked thoroughly, unmistakably happy.
"So it wasn't catnip. It was elephant dung. In that case, we should bring some of that. Wait—what time is it?"
"It's eleven, y'know?"
"Calling now would be a bit much, wouldn't it?"
"Aw, this hour's barely early evenin'."
For veterinarians, who so often worked late into the night, eleven p.m. was not particularly late—just as Gi-jin said.
"Still, zoos start their rounds early. At this hour he might already have gone to bed..."
"Ah, you're gonna call I-chan-hyungnim?"
"Yeah. Watching Seorak love elephant dung that much, I thought we might as well bring some."
"Oh! That sounds real good. Hyungnim, then I'm comin' with you tomorrow."
"You too?"
"Yessir. I'm off tomorrow anyway, y'know? I'll tag along and grab some elephant dung for that rascal Seorak."
"Elephant dung?"
"Yessir. If we say we need elephant dung for Seorak's treatment, they'll let me into the elephant enclosure, won't they? And while I'm at it, I can see the elephants up close."
"You want to? Anyway, I think it's too late to call. I'll send a text in the morning."
While the two of them talked, another video followed. This one was not Seorak but a different tiger, eating something with enormous relish.
"Huh? What's that?"
"That's what I'm wonderin'."
The mystery resolved itself a moment later. The screen cut to the original form of whatever the tiger had been devouring.
It was durian—a fruit that split people violently into love-it or hate-it camps. For the record, Lee Jun could not eat it.
"Hmm. Is it because the smell is that awful?"
"Wouldn't you reckon? Me, I tell ya—that durian or whatever-it's-called, first time I smelled it I thought I was gonna pass out."
"Same here. They say if you can just get past the smell it's delicious, but eugh, I couldn't do it."
"Ain't that the truth."
"Hmm. That actually looks better than organ meat."
"Better how?"
"I was thinking of picking up some organ meat to bring tomorrow. But looking at that, I could substitute durian instead."
The narrator had said tigers ate it so readily because durian smelled similar to offal, and Jun found himself agreeing.
"They'd sell that at a fruit shop, right?"
"If we go someplace big like Garak Market, they oughta have it, don't you think? Department stores'd sell it too, I reckon."
"That so?"
Jun, who almost never had occasion to visit a department store, let alone a market, nodded at Gi-jin's words.
The next day, Kwak Suho arrived at Golmokjib a little past eight in the morning, buoyed by the prospect of gopchang.
"You're early."
"Of course. We'll grab what that rascal Seorak needs real quick and then it's gopchang time. Heh heh—how long has it even been since I last had gopchang?"
"About that, Suho. You're going to have to hold out today."
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"
"We're going to Garak Market first."
"Garak Market? What for?"
"To buy durian. I was watching Myeotube yesterday, and a tiger was eating durian like it was the best thing in the world."
"Mm, I could see that. The smell's pretty intense, right?"
"Exactly. We're buying some to take with us."
"And Gi-jin's going too?"
"Yeah. He's coming to see the elephants."
"Elephants, all of a sudden?"
"Gi-jin loves elephants, you know that. Anyway, Suho—you know lions love elephant dung, right?"
"Yeah, they go crazy for it."
"What about tigers?"
"Tigers, I wouldn't know. They like elephant dung too?"
"Apparently. They seem to like it even more than catnip."
"Hmm. Could be. But you're really not eating gopchang?"
"Next time. How are we supposed to get all the way to Wangsimni after Garak Market?"
"How? We go to Garak Market, then Wangsimni... Ah! Then we eat in Macheon-dong. Macheon's right near Garak Market."
Suho was going to have his gopchang one way or another.
"Forget Macheon-dong. Let's just grab sundae-guk."
"That place?"
"Yeah, that place. You love their sundae-guk, Suho."
"I mean, I do, but I was so looking forward to gopchang for the first time in ages..."
Gi-jin spoke up as Suho's face fell.
"Aigoo, hyungnim, you gotta have that with a drink. Not when you're like this."
Gi-jin cocked his wrist in a pour-and-knock-back gesture, and Suho answered with a sour look.
"Yeah, alright, fair point."
"Hyungnim, you oughta come down sometime. There's a restaurant in our neighborhood that does it real well, I tell ya."
"Yeah? When should we go?"p>
"You're gonna go all the way to Hongseong for gopchang?"
"And why couldn't I?"
"That's right, ain't it? Let's go soon. That's the kind of place Jun-hyungnim actually puts work down, y'know."
"True. Jun—I just got an idea. We go down to this guy's father's farm and I photograph those brave little mountain friends who survived the wildfire."
At Suho's words, Jun thought of bright-eyed Yom-yom-i and his friends. Those little guys. They're probably sleeping soundly through the winter in their new nest.
They were squirrels who could easily have lost their lives in this bitter cold. The thought of them spending a peaceful winter now drew a smile to the corners of his mouth.
"You want to go see them too, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess. But they're all hibernating right now—what's there to photograph? Let's go when the weather warms up."
"You've got zero romance in you, I swear. Photographing their nests while they're asleep this winter, then shooting them waking up later—how is that not romantic?"
"That so? Then you go. I won't have time until after Lunar New Year."
"Aigoo. Yes, sir, whatever you say."
A short while later, the group stopped by Garak Market for durian, demolished a bowl of sundae-guk at a nearby restaurant, and took Yangjae-daero across to Gwacheon.
Thanks to the morning text, Park I-chan was there to greet them, a bucket set beside him. And next to him stood someone Jun didn't recognize.
"Keeper Yoo here has been working hard since this morning."
"Not at all. This is just part of the usual routine."
"Thank you. I'm sorry to have put you through extra trouble on my account."
"Please, don't mention it. If anyone worked hard, it was Dr. Park."
Jun looked at I-chan in surprise.
"I-chan, you went and scooped it yourself?"
"That's not it..."
"He ran the tests for us."
"Tests? Ah—you checked it for parasites."
"Yeah, parasites and bacteria both. So Seorak can play with it without us worrying."
"Thanks. I shouldn't have said anything. I put you to extra work."
"What are you talking about? Come on, let's go."
"Yeah."
"Meat again today?"
Park I-chan asked, eyeing the box in Jun's hands.
"Meat, and durian too. Tigers like durian, right? Okay to feed him some?"
"A little should be fine. It's packed with nutrients too. Gi-jin, you're heading to the elephant house?"
"Yessir."
"He says he loves elephants."
To Gi-jin, who had volunteered to help clean the elephant house, the keeper said,
"Aigoo, you really don't have to go that far..."
"Heh heh, no sir. I've been wantin' to try it. Let's go, Keeper Yoo."
"We'll leave him in your care today. This friend of ours is crazy about elephants."
At the two men's greetings, the elephant keeper broke into a good-natured smile.
"You're going to have a bit of a hard day."
"Hard work, nothin'. You'll be the one sufferin' on account of me. Hyungnims, see you later."
"Yeah."
As Gi-jin headed off with the elephant keeper, Jun went with Park I-chan to see Seorak.
Auuungh!
The moment Lee Jun, Park I-chan, and Keeper Ji Hyun-woo stepped into Seorak's house, the tiger's cry rolled out to meet them. It sounded less threatening than the day before.
He seems a little calmer than yesterday.
Which meant Jun was less of a stranger now. Stretch the interpretation a little further, and you could even say Seorak had taken a liking to him.
Or maybe he just likes this.
Jun glanced at the bucket he had brought and smiled, pleased.
"Looks like this is working after all. Seorak seems less wary, doesn't he?"
"It does seem that way."
Keeper Ji answered with a smile of his own at the corners of his mouth.
"Ah—and he took his medicine well this morning too."
"That's a relief."
They walked as they talked in low voices, and then Seorak came into view.
Bars between them. Unlike the day before, Seorak did not charge the iron. He still bared his teeth, though, growling with a wary look on his face.
Grrrrrr.
Even so, fewer teeth showed than yesterday.
He's definitely less on guard.
Whether it was the elephant dung or simply the third time seeing Jun, Seorak seemed less agitated, and Jun felt a wash of relief.
"Seorak, want this? No—eat this first."
Jun took out the durian they had prepped at the market. Seorak's nostrils flared. Using the same tongs he had used to pass meat the day before, Jun picked up a piece of durian and pushed it through a gap in the bars.
Seorak snatched it up at once, taking the durian straight into his mouth and chewing with slow, satisfied smacks. Through it all, he did not show a hint of agitation. Park I-chan was impressed.
"Whoa. He's really going for it."
"I think he likes it because it smells like offal."
Keeper Ji said this, then turned to look at Jun. His eyes were full of respect as he went on.
"Director Lee, thank you. I was already so grateful—the beef you brought seemed to bring Seorak's appetite back, and I've been meaning to thank you for that..."
"Not at all. It's just good to see Seorak eating well."
Jun answered Keeper Ji, then turned right back to the tiger.
"Seorak, is it tasty?"
Awaong!
Seorak made a strange sound.
"Hm?"
Had he tried to roar and it cracked? The thought crossed Jun's mind for a split second. But that didn't seem right. There was no killing intent anywhere on Seorak's face.
Keeper Ji drove the point home.
"Oh? Seorak, are you in a good mood?"
He said it to the tiger, then added an explanation for Jun.
"That sound means he's greeting you."
"A greeting?"
"Yes. Sometimes, when he's in a really good mood, he even makes an aong sound."
"That's like a house cat's meow."
"When he makes that sound, he really is as cute as a cat."
"Jun, you're amazing. All I've ever heard out of tigers is growling. That's Jun for you. That's our Jun."
Park I-chan looked at him with frank admiration. Jun, for his part, felt a spark of hope at Keeper Ji's explanation. If this goes well, I might even get the eye drops in.
Holding onto that hope, he moved to the next part of the plan. He pulled on a long glove, scooped a fistful of elephant dung from the bucket, and pushed it through the small feeding hole in the bars.
"Seorak. Here, take this."
The dung dropped to the floor. Seorak lowered his head and stuck his nose in. Jun fed a little more through into the enclosure, and Seorak began to shake his head from side to side, making a soft pffrr, pft-pft-pft as he did.
"Whoa. He really loves that."
Park I-chan watched Seorak, delighted, and Keeper Ji picked up the thread.
"You heard that pft-pft-pft just now?"
"Yes."
"That's called prusten. It's a sound they make to show affection."
"Oh! I see. That gives me hope. At this rate, it feels like he and I have gotten a little closer."
Jun looked at Seorak, in high spirits. And then—
Seorak, still shaking his head, dropped onto the floor and pressed his face into the spot where the dung had fallen. He rubbed his face in it vigorously, pft-pft-pft, prrrrhhh, over and over.
Jun's expression crumpled.
"Aigoo!"
I had this all wrong.
He looked at Seorak—face caked in dung, wearing the most blissful expression in the world—and let out a long, long sigh.
"I-chan, I think I made a mistake. If he keeps that up, his eyes are going to get worse."
"Y-yeah? What if that dung gets in his eyes?"
"That's what I mean! His eyes are already swollen. Rubbing them is the last thing he needs."
Jun bowed his head to Keeper Ji.
"Keeper Ji, I'm so sorry."
"N-no, not at all. You were only trying to help."
That was what he said—but he could not hide how flustered he was. Keeper Ji stared into the enclosure, rattled.
And then Jun scooped elephant dung from the bucket with both hands. Keeper Ji's eyes went wide. So did Park I-chan's, beside him.
"What? Don't tell me you're putting more of that in there?"
"I'm not."
And with that, Lee Jun began slathering the elephant dung, thick and thorough, onto the clothes he was wearing.