Please, Just Be Alive
The guardian's hands trembled as she looked down at herself. Watching her, Lee Jun felt a heavy, complicated ache settle in his chest.
How frantic must she be? Her insides have to be tearing themselves apart.
A little over a year ago, on a day when Hoesaegi had suddenly failed to appear, Lee Jun had been anxious. Back then the cat hadn't even been the companion at his side that he was now — and still, Jun had worried. And in that brief moment when Jamong had caught Hoesaegi's scent and taken off running, Lee Jun's insides had felt like they were burning away.
The woman standing in front of him would be burning and suffering on a scale that didn't even compare to what he had felt then.
Where did he go?
Where could he be?
Is he shivering in terror somewhere he's never been? Is someone hurting him?
What if something's happened to him?
Please, just be alive!
The guardian before him would have spent the entire night desperately searching for Tan, every possible fear cycling through her mind. Whether her eyes were open or closed, the only thing she would have been able to think about was the cat who had vanished.
Lee Jun was worried about the woman in front of him — and even more worried about the cat named Tan.
How terrified and miserable must he be, in a neighborhood he doesn't know at all?
Lee Jun pictured Tan trembling somewhere in a strange neighborhood, and the image wouldn't leave him.
Looking at her face, she probably hasn't slept at all — she's been out searching for that child this whole time...
How helpless must it feel, wandering an unfamiliar place whose streets you don't even know, searching for a cat?
I hope she finds him soon.
Back when Lee Jun had been a staff veterinarian, there had been a guardian who found their runaway cat after a full month. That cat had developed liver failure and needed a long course of treatment — hepatic lipidosis, fatty liver from barely eating during that month away from home, that had progressed into liver failure. Still, the cat had made it home, and the liver failure had been treated. It had been one of the fortunate cases.
Kkoma's case was a truly pitiful one.
Kkoma had been the gentlest of Russian Blues, and the guardian had found him three months after he went missing. The guardian had lived alone in a studio near their company, and while they were away on a business trip, their parents had come by — worried about Kkoma being left alone. But Kkoma had slipped out through the gap the moment they opened the door. For a while, even the relationship between the guardian and their parents had grown strained.
The guardian had refused to give up, searching with stubborn persistence, and had eventually found him. But Kkoma's temperament had turned violent. There was no trace left of the gentle expression and personality he had once had.
Cats remember frightening, anxious situations for the rest of their lives.
That once-gentle creature would have gone through every kind of hardship just to survive in a harsh environment. On top of that, he would have carried the memory of being driven from his home. Of course he had become aggressive.
But those two had still been the lucky ones. There were far more cases that ended in traffic accidents, death, and other heartbreaks. And countless times, a cat that left home was never seen again.
The best thing is to find them within three days. Even sooner, if you can.
With those thoughts in mind, Lee Jun spoke to the guardian.
"I asked you to come in because I wanted to hear a little more about the circumstances of Tan's disappearance."
"I'm sorry?"
"This neighborhood is going to be unfamiliar to you, since you've just moved here. I'm a local, so I thought I might be able to help a little."
"Ah — thank you. But right now I..."
"Those flyers. You were planning to take them around to the nearby animal hospitals, weren't you?"
"Ah, yes."
"There's a group chat for the animal hospitals in our district. I'll put a notice in there about Tan going missing."
Lee Jun photographed the flyer and uploaded it to the group chat as he went on.
"There's a golden time for finding a missing cat, too."
"Th-that's what I've heard."
The guardian's fingertips were still trembling as she answered.
"Have you been to the police station or the fire station?"
"No."
Her voice was thin and exhausted. Lee Jun turned to Jang Sora.
"Manager Jang, would you print out the addresses and contact numbers for the animal hospitals in our district? The police substations and fire stations, too."
"Yes, of course."
Listening to Jang Sora's reply, Lee Jun turned back to the guardian.
"People who find a cat usually take them to a police substation, an animal hospital, or a fire station — or they report it there. If you stop by those places and let them know Tan is missing, it'll help."
Lee Jun was meeting this woman for the first time, but to a cat guardian like her, he was already a well-known name. In every word he spoke, every small thing he did, she could feel that he was genuinely worried about a cat he had never even seen.
Tan's guardian was grateful to the man standing in front of her.
Director... thank you so much.
Director Lee Jun was every bit as warm and kind as the rumors had said. And more than anything, the fact that he was sincerely worried about Tan — a cat he had never met — meant more than she could say. The anxiety and fear that had been clawing at her began, little by little, to settle.
"And looking at this flyer, it doesn't say whether Tan is neutered or not."
"He is neutered, but..."
Was that really such important information? The guardian blinked, not quite following.
"Neutered cats are more likely to be found near home than ones that aren't, which is why I asked."
"Ah..."
"That said, I can't be sure it applies in Tan's case. The house itself is a strange new place to him, after all. Have you posted on any of the lost-pet websites?"
"Yes. That's where I made this flyer, actually."
"Good. If you can still edit it, it would help to write out Tan's features in a bit more detail."
"Okay."
"And do you have any other photos? One of Tan making a face, or crouched down, or looking scared — something like that."
"Sorry? Why would you..."
"Because Tan isn't going to be smiling like this right now. If you show people a photo that looks closer to the expression he'd be wearing, they'll have an easier time recognizing him."
"Ah. That makes sense. Thank you, Director."
All of a sudden, Tan's guardian felt as though a sturdy ally had appeared at her side. Perhaps that was why the story of how Tan had vanished came spilling out of her.
"I definitely put Tan in his carrier and left it in the room. But once the move was done, he was just... gone."
"So the carrier came open, then."
"...Yes. I checked that it was latched I don't know how many times. I have no idea how it opened."
"He must have gotten out in the chaos of the move. What floor is the new place on?"
"Second floor of a villa. I found out later that the screen window was open a crack. I think he went out through there."
"Ah... I see."
"I should have installed cat screens and a cat door right away... No — I shouldn't have brought him to the new house at all. I should have boarded him here. If I had..."
"You will find him. Tan would have bolted in a panic, so he won't have gone far."
"I looked yesterday. He wasn't there."
"It's important to search at different times of day, too. We'll look for him after we close this evening."
"Thank you, Director. Truly — thank you so much."
"Take heart. Please."
"...Yes."
Tan's guardian bowed and stepped out of the animal hospital looking, if only a little, stronger than when she had come in.
The moment Tan's guardian was gone, Lee Jun called the three of them over.
"Kids."
The three of them trotted after him into the director's office.
"Hyung-nim, why'd you call us, ong?"
"I think I'm going to need your help."
"Just say the word, ong. We'll help Hyung-nim, ong."
"Obviously. We'll help Hyung-nim."
"I'll help too, I will!"
All three of them looked up at Lee Jun with grimly determined faces. Then Hoesaegi tilted his head and added something.
"But Hyung-nim, why the face, ong?"
Hoesaegi asked, pulling the corners of his eyes down with a front paw.
"You saw the guardian who just left, right? The cat who lives with her — Tan — ran away from home. That's why I'm worried."
"He went to see a friend, ong. He'll come back when he's hungry, ong."
"Hoesaegi's right. He'll play, get hungry, and come home. Home is the best place there is."
After Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi looked at Lee Jun as if to say, and you're worrying about that?
"Gkamnyangi's right, ong. When he's hungry and tired he'll come home, ong. You just have to leave the door open, ong."
Lee Jun was a little thrown by the cats' reaction.
Is it because the streets used to be home for them? They look like they don't see the problem at all.
Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi were street-born. To them, the streets were a front yard — and they were the top cats of their packs, besides. So they didn't take Tan's running away all that seriously.
"That's right, it is! I love our Golmokjib so, so much! I'm gonna live with the hyung-nims forever and ever! So Tan the cat will come home too, he will!"
Whether he could read Lee Jun's thoughts or not, Sapsaree wore the same unconcerned look as the cats as he spoke. So Lee Jun explained it to the three of them in a little more detail.
"If you were as strong as you three, and you knew the streets as well as you do, then yes — you'd find your way back. But this is Tan's first time here. They moved from a long way away."
"How far, ong?"
"Well, you've all ridden in the car, right?"
"We have, ong. It's exciting, ong."
"Yeah, yeah. When we ride in the car we go somewhere fun."
"That's right, we did! We went to Taesan's house! We played with Grandpa and Grandma and all our friends! We played with Bangwool-i hyung-nim, we did! And..."
Sapsaree started listing off every place he had ever gone by car.
"Do you remember the place you went to play with Grandpa and Grandma?"
"I remember, ong. Banana, Bongbong, Lady Nana, and Bangwool-i all came with us, ong."
Before Hoesaegi had even finished speaking, Gkamnyangi's face burned hot and red. Of course, with a face that black, nobody noticed.
"Heehee, that was so much fun! I wanna go again, I do!"
Sapsaree said it with his tail swishing back and forth, but Gkamnyangi didn't hear a word — he was too busy thinking about Lady Nana.
"It was pretty far from here to there, wasn't it?"
"It was, ong. You'd have to run a long, long time, ong."
"That's how far away Tan came from."
"Whoa, that's really far!"
"Right. Tan came here from somewhere that far away. And yesterday, he left the house."
"That guy went out scouting."
"That's it, ong. He went out to look around, ong. Once he's seen everything he'll come home, ong."
Lee Jun had been trying to tell them that moving to a strange place was a serious problem. The cats only looked more at ease.
"He doesn't even know the streets because they just moved. How is he supposed to find his way home?"
At that, the cats' eyes went round.
"Why wouldn't he find it, ong?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't he be able to find his way home?"
"Because he doesn't know the way...?"
"You just follow the smell, ong."
"That's right. There's a cushion at home, and all kinds of other stuff too."
Gkamnyangi, perched on the exam table, pointed at the cat tree with a cotton-puff front paw.
"There's toys too, ong."
Hoesaegi backed him up, then added,
"I have the fish plush Hyung-nim gave me, ong. And Jwidol-i the mouse, too, ong."
"I have a teddy bear, I do!"
"I have a Mr. Cow plushie!"
No sooner had they said it than the three of them went clattering off somewhere. And a moment later, as if they had planned it, they reappeared with their comfort toys in their mouths.
Hoesaegi carried the fish plush, Gkamnyangi the Mr. Cow plushie, and Sapsaree the teddy bear, all three of them waving their tails.
Tok.
Hoesaegi gathered the fish plush that had dropped to the floor into both front paws and said,
"I can smell the fish plush from before I even get to Mongmong Animal Hospital, ong."
"Same."
"Heehee, I can smell the treats I hid under the cat tree over there, and it makes me so happy!"
Not one of the three considered Tan leaving home a problem in the slightest.
I'm going to have to convince them if I want their help.
Lee Jun was planning to get the park cats' help in tracking Tan down. So he put it more forcefully.
"Nobody's going to mess with you three because you're strong. But Tan is weak. He's going to be scared, too. So he might get beaten up by the tough ones. He might not get anything to eat at all."
"Hrm. If he runs into a guy like Jjaek, he might get wrecked, ong."
"Yeah. Mangchi's dangerous too."
Lee Jun had heard the name Jjaek before, but Mangchi was a new one.
"This Mangchi is vicious too?"
"He's a Garam-area guy. Loves picking on newcomers."
The Garam area would mean Garam Park, on the far side of Song-i Park.
Hrm. That's a pretty long way from here.
As if he had read Lee Jun's thoughts, Hoesaegi spoke up.
"The second night falls, Mangchi prowls everywhere, ong. Sometimes he even comes as far as our Neulpureun territory, ong."
"He shows up in our Parangsae District sometimes too."
"That's why we always have to keep watch, ong."
The two of them had grown a little more serious. Lee Jun spoke to them then.
"Which is why I wanted to ask. You two are bosses. Strong, cool, and good-looking."
"That's right, ong. I'm strong, ong. And cool."
"I'm cool and strong too."
"So could you help me find Tan?"
"Got it, ong. We'll go find Tan, ong."
"We're going to find Tan."
The cats sprang to their feet.