Five Years of Farewells
One day five years ago, Kkomi's guardian happened upon a volunteer's story while watching Myeotube — an account of temporarily fostering a rescued animal.
A scrawny, unremarkable yellow mutt had arrived at the volunteer's home trembling from head to tail. Within a month, that same dog had become someone else entirely. Her once-dull coat now gleamed with a healthy sheen, and she'd filled out into a plump, well-fed little thing. The fear that had flooded her eyes had given way to a bright, sparkling light.
It was the power of love.
Moved by the video, the guardian spent a month turning the idea over in her mind before deciding she would foster a rescue animal just as that volunteer had. She went to a shelter. The one who caught her eye was Kkomi.
A tiny dog, so emaciated her bones showed through her skin, huddled in a corner with her body curled into a tight ball. She looked unbearably pitiful. After the puppy who'd been rescued alongside her was adopted, Kkomi had stopped eating properly. She'd always been timid, they said, but she'd grown even more withdrawn. Hearing that, the guardian took Kkomi home to foster.
Watching the scrawny, timid little dog grow brighter and healthier by the day, the guardian felt a deep sense of fulfillment. She formally adopted Kkomi, and seeing how Kkomi blossomed, she began fostering other dogs as well.
It was a wonderful decision for Kkomi, too.
"The moment a foster dog arrived, Kkomi became so much more lively. Even her face lit up."
Remembering that Kkomi had been found clinging to another puppy when she was rescued, the guardian kept fostering. Kkomi got along beautifully with every dog that came through the house — until the day she barked at someone who had come to adopt one of them.
"I'd never heard Kkomi bark like that before."
Assuming Kkomi simply needed more socialization, the guardian doubled down on their walks. The fostering, of course, continued.
"Kkomi always got along so well with the dogs I fostered — just like she does with Janggoon now. But whenever people came to the house, she'd bark so violently. She'd even growl like she was about to attack. So whenever we had visitors, I had no choice but to put Kkomi in a room and shut the door."
Once she was locked in, Kkomi scratched at the door and barked. She scratched until the pads of her feet bled. And on those days, without fail, she would gnaw and chew at her own paws.
That was how the self-harm began.
Listening to the guardian's account, Yeo Un-hyeok asked a question.
"So it wasn't like this from the start. It sounds like it started after a few of the foster dogs had already come and gone."
"That's right. I think she was fine until the fourth one left. It started when the fifth found a home."
The guardian traced back through her memories, filling in the details.
"Now that you mention it, I think that's exactly it. Whether we were just lucky or not, the dogs I fostered after Kkomi all found good homes within two or three weeks. About four of them passed through our house that way, and then Kkomi suddenly started barking at the person who came to meet the fifth."
"It seems Kkomi was stressed by unfamiliar dogs constantly coming and going. She figured out that whenever a stranger showed up, a new dog would follow."
"I think so. That's why I've decided to just keep these two from now on. But I wonder if it's already too late. Now she does this not just with strangers, but with anyone who comes to the house…"
The guardian's voice trailed off as her gaze dropped to Kkomi's scabbed paws. She couldn't help feeling that Kkomi's self-harm was her own fault.
"Her environment kept changing, so of course she was anxious. She'll gradually get better from here."
"Will she?"
"Yes. And if we support her with medication for a while, until she can feel comfortable on her own, she'll find her footing that much faster."
Yeo Un-hyeok had reached the same conclusion: once Kkomi's heart settled, the self-harm would stop.
"I understand, Doctor."
"If Kkomi takes the medication and stops hurting herself at home, try taking her on walks with the other dog, little by little."
Yeo Un-hyeok's prescription made good sense. If a situation felt comfortable while she was on the medication, she would eventually be able to face that same situation without it and still feel at ease.
"Start with one minute right in front of the house, then gradually increase it. Keep that up, and you'll be able to bring both of them all the way to our hospital."
"Yes. I'll try, Doctor."
Hope kindled in the guardian's face as she left.
When Yoo Mu-hwan heard that Kkomi's guardian had left the hospital satisfied, a thoughtful light deepened in his eyes. Professor Yoon of the Behavioral Clinic said he was the student she had such high hopes for. Looks like he really does have the skill.
It seemed to Yoo Mu-hwan that Yeo Un-hyeok had found his place at Mongmong Animal Hospital — and that realization stirred a restless urgency in him. Then I need to find my place too, and soon. Yeo Un-hyeok's arrival had become a spur, a reason for Yoo Mu-hwan to push himself harder.
Five days after Kkomi's visit, the guardian appeared with Kkomi in her arms, her face drained of all color.
"D-Doctor, our Kkomi…"
Kkomi's paws were as bloodied as they had been the first time. Worse, there was blood on her tail as well.
"Kkomi bit her own tail."
The self-harm had gotten worse.
"Kkomi did?"
Yeo Un-hyeok carried Kkomi into the treatment room. Yoo Mu-hwan, who happened to be there already, looked up as Yeo Un-hyeok came in with the dog in his arms.
"Dr. Yeo, over here."
The two of them examined Kkomi's condition first.
"The paws should be fine with disinfectant and ointment, but we can't just leave the tail. It'll need sutures."
Kkomi had chewed her own tail to shreds. She had bitten down so hard that pieces of flesh had torn away.
"Director Lee is in the inpatient ward. I'll go tell him."
"No. I'll go and report it myself."
Yeo Un-hyeok answered Yoo Mu-hwan, then added,
"I'll leave Kkomi in your care, sunbae."
The look on Yeo Un-hyeok's face as he headed up to the second floor was grim. Kkomi's condition was part of it — but so was the doubt now gnawing at his own prescription.
In the brief time it took to find Lee Jun on the second floor, Yeo Un-hyeok's mind was a tangle. Was the dosage too low? Should I increase it? Or move to something stronger? No. Then she'd just go limp.
What the guardian wanted was not a Kkomi who drooped around as if half-asleep. She wanted the Kkomi who could be active again, whose behavior could be gently corrected back to what it used to be. Yes. That's the Kkomi she's hoping for. And so am I.
Yeo Un-hyeok reached the second-floor inpatient ward. From inside came Lee Jun's warm, affectionate voice — asking how much someone had eaten, where it hurt, and how. In the old days, hearing that voice would have left Yeo Un-hyeok split between two thoughts: that Lee Jun truly seemed to be conversing with the animals, and that it was probably just a habit. Not anymore. The only thought in his head now was that he needed Lee Jun's help.
Yeo Un-hyeok opened the door and reported.
"Director, Kkomi has come in as an emergency. She chewed her tail so badly the bone is completely exposed."
"Kkomi?"
Lee Jun hurried down to the first floor, Yeo Un-hyeok close behind. The moment he arrived, Lee Jun began treatment at once.
"Dr. Yeo, could you put Kkomi under for a moment? She looks like she's in too much pain to treat her awake. I think putting her to sleep would be better for her in this state — she's so agitated."
"You're right. I'll sedate her lightly, then."
While Yeo Un-hyeok prepared the sedative, he heard Lee Jun speaking to Kkomi.
"Kkomi. It's okay. When you wake up from a little nap, Mom will be right beside you. So just close your eyes for a moment and open them again, all right?"
Lee Jun's gentle voice seemed to soothe even the shock Yeo Un-hyeok had felt at the sight of Kkomi's injuries. Could that voice be what puts the animals at ease? The thought crossed his mind for only a heartbeat.
Yeo Un-hyeok administered the injection, and Kkomi soon grew still. Lee Jun sutured the shredded tail in what felt like an instant. Once the last stitch was in, Yeo Un-hyeok laid out the full situation — his own assessment, every exchange he'd had with the guardian during the exam, and every detail of the prescription, leaving nothing out.
Some of it Lee Jun already knew. Some of it was new. He listened in silence until Yeo Un-hyeok had finished, then asked,
"How were you planning to proceed with her treatment from here?"
"Well…"
Yeo Un-hyeok hesitated. If he kept Kkomi's case, what would happen? Could she actually get better than she was now? Other than increasing the dose or switching to a stronger drug, there's nothing I can do for her.
He did not overestimate his own ability. All he wanted was for Kkomi to find her smile again. He wanted the little dog sleeping with an IV in her vein to get well. Yeo Un-hyeok, who had become a veterinarian because he loved animals, looked at Lee Jun.
"If I continue as Kkomi's doctor, all I'll be able to do is prescribe a slightly stronger psychotropic or increase the dosage of what she's already on."
It was a confession: even if he kept the case, nothing would improve.
"Then I'll take Kkomi from here."
"Please do, Director. And I'm sorry."
Yeo Un-hyeok bowed his head.
"What is there to be sorry for? We all know how hard you've been working. Look at that — Kkomi's already awake. That's how precisely you calculated the dose. She came around right on time."
The Kkomi Yeo Un-hyeok had sedated had already opened her eyes. She stared at them, her pupils wide with fear.
"Kkomi, want to come talk with me for a minute?"
Lee Jun gathered Kkomi into his arms and headed for the director's office, pulling the portable IV stand along with him. Yeo Un-hyeok followed as if in a trance.
As they walked, Lee Jun said something to Kkomi. She whimpered back — a tiny sound, but Yeo Un-hyeok found it astonishing. She never barked once in front of me. Not even once. And yet here she was, responding to Lee Jun. It's like she's answering him.
He wondered if he was imagining it, but every time Lee Jun asked her something, Kkomi let out a soft ang-ang, a little whine. Even her face looks so much more at ease. Had Kkomi been soothed by Lee Jun's voice the same way he himself had been?
The strange current between Lee Jun and Kkomi continued even after they reached the director's office. For a little over ten minutes, Lee Jun held Kkomi and they seemed to talk back and forth. Then Lee Jun stepped out and went to the guardian waiting in the lobby. Yeo Un-hyeok followed.
The moment she saw Kkomi, the guardian — who had been pacing the lobby — hurried over as if she might break into a run.
"K-Kkomi."
"You've been so worried, haven't you?"
"…Yes. I was so happy she was getting better, and then, hng…"
The guardian answered through tears. Lee Jun settled Kkomi into her arms.
"Kkomi is going to get better from here, little by little."
"I hope so, but…"
There was no confidence in her voice.
"Kkomi really loves Janggoon, doesn't she?"
The instant Lee Jun said Janggoon's name, Yeo Un-hyeok tensed, afraid Kkomi would fly into a panic.
"…Yes. She loves him so, so much."
"Next time, please bring Janggoon along too."
The guardian started as if she'd been jolted. Yeo Un-hyeok was just as stunned — far more than he had been a moment ago, when Lee Jun had spoken the name that might as well have been forbidden. He swallowed hard and watched Kkomi. Her expression hadn't changed at all. She wasn't startled. She wasn't agitated. She was even grinning, heh heh.
Yeo Un-hyeok's eyes went wider and wider. She's… she's actually smiling.
Lee Jun went on.
"Kkomi and I made a promise. From now on, we're going to do her treatment together with Janggoon. Janggoon has wounds of his own, you see."
"That may be true, but Kkomi hates going out if it means bringing Janggoon. What if her symptoms get even worse…?"
The strength drained from the guardian's voice with every word.
"Kkomi is afraid Janggoon will disappear."
"What? What do you mean…?"
The guardian blinked at Lee Jun. Standing beside her, Yeo Un-hyeok wore almost the same expression.
"Whenever strangers came to the house, Kkomi's friends vanished. That's what terrified her. People she didn't know would show up, and then overnight the friend she'd grown so attached to would be gone. That's what she was so afraid of."
The guardian's face crumpled.
Tears spilled down the guardian's cheeks.
"K-Kkomi…"
She started to sweep Kkomi into a fierce hug, then saw the bandage wound thick around the little dog's tail and lifted her hands instead. She stroked Kkomi's head with fierce tenderness.
"I didn't know. Our Kkomi… I'm so sorry."
The guardian sobbed, Kkomi resting easy in her arms, and Director Lee Jun stood beside them with a warm, contented smile. Yeo Un-hyeok looked from one to the next, and his own face twisted. Th-that's impossible…
Hearing Lee Jun's explanation, Yeo Un-hyeok thought it couldn't be right. Animals typically grew stressed when an unfamiliar animal entered their territory. They hated having their space invaded, and they hated having their owner's love divided. That was why, when a new family member arrived, dogs and cats would stop eating, retreat to a corner, or sometimes turn aggressive. Yeo Un-hyeok had seen — and treated — any number of those cases.
I should push back. I should tell him that doesn't make sense… And yet, having heard Lee Jun's explanation, he found himself strangely persuaded. Another thought flickered through his mind. If our Bori had been able to meet someone like Director Lee, couldn't he have lived longer — and happier?
A sudden solemnity settled over him. That, of course, was purely personal — a private wish. At the same time, suspicion stirred. It sounds plausible enough. But how did he figure that out? Had the director simply spun a convincing story?
It was a reasonable doubt, at least for Yeo Un-hyeok, who had treated cases like this any number of times at school and had never once approached them this way. But he soon brushed the suspicion aside. No. I shouldn't just sit here doubting. Look at Kkomi. Looking at that face, maybe everything the director just said is true.
Watching Kkomi smile, Yeo Un-hyeok thought, Maybe this is Director Lee's secret — the way he reads an animal's feelings so well. I should learn from it.
He reminded himself why he had come to Mongmong Animal Hospital in the first place, and with a student's humility he committed every detail of Lee Jun and Kkomi to memory — every expression on Lee Jun's face, every gesture of his hands, and every response those things drew from Kkomi. Even so, the situation so thoroughly defied ordinary common sense that the suspicion he'd first felt did not vanish completely.
While Yeo Un-hyeok was still caught in that confusion, Lee Jun asked Kkomi,
"Kkomi, do you want some too?"
Kkomi smacked her lips.
"Just a second. Our Kkomi worked so hard getting treated today, so this is a present from me. Go share it with Janggoon."
Lee Jun held out a small pouch to the guardian.
"See what Sapsaree is eating over there? It's the same flavor of cookie. Looks like Kkomi wants some too."
Just before Kkomi had arrived at the hospital, Sapsaree, Hoesaegi, and Gkamnyangi had each been given a cookie treat. When Kkomi came in as an emergency, the three of them had been too worried to eat, fretting over her instead. Now that they could finally relax, they had settled in to enjoy their snacks — and Kkomi, watching them, had licked her chops.
"Thank you, Director."
"If you have time tomorrow, please bring Janggoon as well."
Lee Jun removed the catheter from Kkomi's front leg, pressed a cotton ball over the site, and wrapped it snugly with tape.
"Yes."
"Please take the tape off in an hour. Ah — and don't give her more than three of those cookies a day. If she eats too many, she won't touch her kibble."
"Understood. I'll come tomorrow, then."
The guardian left the hospital with a much calmer Kkomi in her arms. Watching Lee Jun smile at their retreating figures, Yeo Un-hyeok felt suspicion well up in his eyes all over again.
The story Lee Jun had told about Kkomi's circumstances had sounded almost fabricated — and yet Kkomi's face had looked so at peace that Yeo Un-hyeok had thought, Maybe. It does seem to add up. He had resolved to learn the secret behind how Director Lee had figured it out. And then, out of nowhere, the cookie talk had come crashing in. Not even a commercially manufactured product, but cookies made right here at this hospital he already found so suspicious.
Those cookies. There's definitely something off about them. I think there's a drug in them I don't know about.
What had been a passing suspicion about the cookies had, after today's events, sunk in far deeper. Kkomi's coming tomorrow. I'll know more once I see her then.
Yeo Un-hyeok found himself looking forward to the next day — to seeing how Kkomi would react after eating those cookies.