You'll Save Your Friends' Lives
They would save the friends bound for Cat Star, and they would keep the friends bound for Dog Star from ever having to go. The better they acted, the more friends they could save.
Just receiving Lee Jun's praise had been enough to send their spirits soaring — and now they were being told they would accomplish something as grand as saving their own companions. The three animals trotting after Lee Jun walked with steps lighter than air.
La-la-la. A bounce. A sway. A wiggle. Falling into step with one another, the three of them soon opened their mouths and sang.
Aeo-hong, eu-heh-eu-eh~ ong.
Nyao-eua, nya-eua, nya-eua~ eolsso!
Meong-meo-reo-reo-reo, woof woof woof!
Kwak Suho, who had been filming the three of them two-stepping along with their tails ticking from side to side, spoke up.
"They look like they're in a fantastic mood. Like they're strutting around yelling, 'Everybody out of the way! I'm the best!'"
Go Gi-jin was one thing, but Kwak Suho too — he had to be able to understand what the animals were saying. Kwak had captured the three of them so perfectly that Lee Jun almost wondered whether his own gift for communicating with animals was actually a common one.
"That's right. How'd you know?"
"How wouldn't I? Anyone can see how happy they are."
Kwak Suho snickered.
A short while later, they arrived at a room tucked into the corner of the second floor — a multi-purpose space that served as a seminar room, a conference room, and a staff break room all in one.
Sniff sniff sniff. All three noses went to work at once.
Yeah-eh~ oh-yeah-ong! Kwang-kwang!
Their voices brightened even further as they sang about how good it smelled.
"These guys really do have a dog's nose. Ah — and a cat's nose, too, I guess."
Basking in Lee Jun's praise, the three of them headed into the far room, their tails rolling like waves. The moment they stepped inside, a rich, toasty aroma came fluttering up into their nostrils, and ripples ran through three tails that could no longer keep still. At the same time came the wet sound of lips being smacked.
"You guys want it that badly?"
Nod, nod. They couldn't even answer. They just bobbed their heads.
Lee Jun laughed and lifted one of the trays from the table, setting it down on the floor.
"Alright then — pick one each. We'll eat first, then get started."
The three of them sniffed over the treats arranged on the tray, tails flapping with delight. They were in heaven.
Kwak Suho's expression, on the other hand, was not.
"Jun, this is a little weird, isn't it?"
"It is, isn't it?"
Not what is? — it is, isn't it? Lee Jun had already seen the question coming.
"Why is this stuff here? What if they eat it?"
Kwak Suho jerked his chin toward a plate heaped with plump, glistening grapes. The plates beside it were even worse. One held garlic. Another held chocolate. Fried onion rings were sitting right there in the open. Kwak had been tilting his head, hunting for an explanation, when his face turned fierce in an instant.
"Hey, Jun. You're not seriously testing them with this, are you?"
"What kind of question is that?"
The complete opposite of Kwak's bristling tone. Lee Jun looked thoroughly pleased as he turned to his friend.
"Try some."
"Try what?"
"This."
With that, Lee Jun picked up a clove of garlic and ate it. Kwak Suho stared at him, speechless.
"Dude, telling them to eat this is crazy enough — but you've got chocolate and grapes sitting right there, and you pick the garlic?"
"This? It's not garlic."
"It's not? Then what is it?"
Wearing the face of a man about to start a fight, Kwak Suho picked up one of the cloves Lee Jun had just eaten.
Soft.
"Huh?"
Frowning at the strangeness of it, he picked up another and ate that too.
"That's chicken breast."
"You're right. I thought something was off… Are the others like that too?"
"Yeah. These two seem to be made of egg, and this one's carrot, I think?"
"Whoa, this one's a plot twist. This is jerky. Jerky. A little bland, though."
Of course it was. They had to be able to eat it. Lee Jun popped one into his own mouth, tasted it, and smiled. Chef Joo really outdid herself.
Kwak Suho quickly chewed and swallowed the chocolate-shaped jerky, then let out a sound of genuine awe.
"Wow, this is incredible. You made all of this out of stuff they can actually eat? Whose work is this?"
"Yeah. Our Chef Joo put in quite a bit of effort."
"Man, she's amazing. This isn't just food — this is art. Art."
"I think so too."
"But why make all this? You're not practicing to sell it, surely…"
He couldn't keep up with Lee Jun today, not even a little. Kwak Suho looked at him and asked,
"They're going to demonstrate it themselves."
"Demonstrate what?"
"Eating it and collapsing."
"Eating it and collapsing?"
"Yeah. The subscribers for this video aren't people — they're dogs and cats. Animals. The goal of this video is to show them firsthand what poison looks like, and teach them they must never eat it."
At that, Kwak Suho's mouth opened and closed soundlessly. He had already decided he couldn't follow this conversation — and then a twist like this came flying out of nowhere.
"Are all geniuses like you? There's not a normal bone in your body. Not one."
Watching Kwak Suho insult him under the banner of calling him a genius, Lee Jun grinned.
"What kind of nonsense is that? Anyway — were you surprised?"
Gulp.
Kwak Suho swallowed hard and answered.
"Of course I was surprised, hearing something that bizarre. How did you even come up with a video that ridiculous? …Then again, it's you. It's Lee Jun. With Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree around, of course you'd think of something like that. Of course."
He asked the question himself and answered it himself. Lee Jun neither stopped him nor cut in. He simply looked at the three animals with proud, fond eyes. Yes. That's exactly how I feel. Having cats and a dog this gifted and not using it — that would be the real crime. A crime.
Lee Jun glanced at Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi, the two acting instructors who had been coaching Little Grey and Mungchi, currently inpatients, on their performances. Both of them looked dazed, lost in the agony of choosing something delicious. Sapsaree was no different. They really do listen so well.
They had remembered Lee Jun's words — pick one each — and still hadn't managed to choose. The moment they reached for one, they wanted another; the moment they settled on that one, something farther away looked even tastier.
Lee Jun had a surprise gift for the three who listened so well.
"Pick one more. Eat two."
Yeah-o-ho!
The three of them cheered and each clamped two snacks in their mouths.
"Whoa, Jun, I think they actually understood you. They each grabbed two snacks. Then again, they're geniuses. Geniuses."
Once again Kwak Suho conducted a conversation entirely with himself, all while filming the three of them munching away with obvious bliss.
When they had finished, Hoesaegi smacked his lips, savoring the aftertaste, and spoke.
"Hyungnim-ong, that was so, so delicious-ong."
"Yeah, it was really, really tasty. I want more."
"Me too, I do. I wanna eat more, I do."
Sapsaree dragged his tongue across his lips.
"You can have more."
At Lee Jun's words, three tails went swish-swish-swish.
"But there's a condition."
Three pairs of eyes sparkled. They would do anything.
"What's this?"
Lee Jun picked up a piece of chocolate. To be precise, a piece of jerky shaped like chocolate.
"It's meat-ong. So delicious-ong."
The other two bobbed their heads in vigorous agreement.
"Then what's this?"
This time Lee Jun opened a drawer and held out a piece of real chocolate. Three noses twitched and worked, and then, quietly, all three of them took a step back. They seemed less startled than they had been by the castor oil meal fertilizer.
"That's what Strong Hyungnim likes-ong. Eating it is a disaster-ong."
"That's right-ong. If you eat that, you end up like this."
Gkamnyangi tensed every muscle in his body and trembled all over, acting out a seizure. They had been shown it only once, on video — and he had reproduced it exactly. It was beyond anything Lee Jun had imagined.
"Well done."
At the praise, Gkamnyangi grinned and pushed his head forward under Lee Jun's hand. Pet me. Lee Jun stroked Gkamnyangi's head as naturally as breathing.
"Hyungnim-ong, what should I do-ong? Should I do what Gkamnyangi just did-ong?"
"I-I wanna try too, I do!"
Hoesaegi and Sapsaree jumped in with enthusiasm. Lee Jun laughed inwardly. Their competitive streak is catching fire. If it kept going like this, the results might turn out far better than he had expected.
"And this?"
Lee Jun held up the jerky chocolate again.
"It's delicious-ong! So, so delicious-ong!"
The corners of Hoesaegi's mouth stretched all the way to the tips of his ears, and his eyes curved into crescents as if they might meet his smile. Pure delight at how delicious it was overflowed from his face.
"Excellent."
At that, Hoesaegi put on a look of supreme confidence and shoved his head under Lee Jun's hand, just as Gkamnyangi had done. Lee Jun stroked Hoesaegi's head, then went on.
"But you know… don't these two look similar?"
In Lee Jun's right hand was the real chocolate; in his left, the jerky chocolate. Three pairs of eyes darted back and forth, comparing what he held in each hand.
"Th-they do-ong. They look similar-ong."
"Huh, you're right? They do look alike."
"Hyungnim, I do. Then we shouldn't eat this one either, I do?"
At Sapsaree's sudden question, both cats jumped.
"Is that what it is-ong? Then I'll end up like this too-ong?"
Hoesaegi launched into the seizure performance Gkamnyangi had just given — only his was far more vivid. Lee Jun put the real chocolate back in the drawer, set the jerky chocolate on the table, and clapped loudly.
"Excellent."
In that instant, Hoesaegi's and Gkamnyangi's four eyes met in midair.
A spark.
Their gazes ignited. The souls of the two who had thrown themselves heart and soul into coaching acting two days ago had just come roaring back to life. Lee Jun caught the current of rivalry running between them at once, but he pretended not to notice, turning his eyes away as he picked up a grape made of watermelon. Then he took out a real grape.
Unlike a moment ago, Lee Jun was tense. I believe they won't eat this — but you never know what might happen. He held the real grape not on an open palm but in a loosely unclenched fist. In the end, he needn't have bothered.
"That's what Mongi ate and suffered from-ong."
"That's right-ong. It's terrifying."
"I know too, I do. You mustn't eat that, I do."
All three of them turned their heads away without the slightest hesitation.
"You got it right. But can you remember this smell?"
"Of course-ong."
"Yeah."
"I can, I do."
"Good. Later, tell your friends about the smell too."
Lee Jun walked the three of them carefully through every forbidden food — the smell, the appearance, and exactly what happened after you ate it. They soaked up every word he offered, like a bone-dry sponge drinking water.
"Hey, Jun, once this video goes out, these guys are going to blow up."
"Amazing, right? After seeing this, dogs and cats won't eat that stuff, will they?"
Lee Jun was certain they wouldn't. When the video was filmed, the three of them would explain it with their bodies — and with their words, too. To people, of course, it would just sound like meowing and barking.
Three pairs of gleaming eyes waited for Lee Jun's next instruction. He opened his mouth.
"One more left."
"The thing Gamja ate and threw up-ong?"
Sharp-eyed Hoesaegi got there first.
"That's right. We're doing that."
"I'll do it-ong."
Looking unmistakably nervous, Hoesaegi shot one front paw straight into the air.
"No. I'll do it."
Gkamnyangi wore the exact same expression and raised a paw of his own. But Lee Jun chose Sapsaree, who had been staring blankly at the two cats.
"No — I think Sapsaree should do this one."
"Me, I do?"
Sapsaree asked, looking thoroughly bewildered.
"I'll do it-ong. Sapsaree doesn't know-ong."
"I can do it better. I saw it myself."
"I saw it too-ong. Twice, even-ong."
They locked horns, each insisting it had to be him.
"That's enough. Sapsaree's doing this one. Accidents happen to dogs way more often than to you two."
Lee Jun had thought that was obvious. But Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi raised their voices.
"That's not true-ong. Plenty of our friends have gone to Cat Star too-ong."
"That's right. Our Bluebird Park cats too. When you're too hungry, you might eat it without realizing."
He hadn't expected that. The hungry angels of the street certainly might.
"Gkamnyangi's right-ong. When you're hungry you eat anything-ong. And that terrifying stuff looks savory and tasty-ong."
"Right. So we have to warn our cats."
"That's right-ong. It hurts so, so much-ong. I wish they wouldn't eat it and wouldn't hurt-ong."
"Yeah. I wish our friends wouldn't hurt."
At the cats' words, Lee Jun changed his mind.
"Then all three of you do it. But Sapsaree — watch what I show you carefully first, then do it."
"Got it, I do."
Three pairs of eyes shone brighter and brighter. That Sapsaree. He was just staring blankly a moment ago, but it looks like his hyungs' acting inspired him.
Lee Jun was thinking something completely different from the three of them. The three of them were in the middle of a contest over who could collect the most head pats from Lee Jun.
"This many-ong."
Hoesaegi spread a front paw wide. Five strokes.
"Heheh. I got more than you."
Gkamnyangi stretched his right paw open and held out his left in a tight fist. Six.
"That's a whole lot, I do. I'm over here, I do."
Sapsaree held out both front paws, fists clenched so his claws didn't show. Two strokes.
"Huh… what's the quality on these guys? They're even practicing whether to unsheathe or retract their claws when they collapse."
"Delicate acting is their specialty."
Lee Jun added, recalling how he had coached them down to the finest details. It was a scene of completely crossed wires — but the practice proceeded smoothly all the same.
While the two of them kept talking, Hoesaegi gave the fake castor oil meal fertilizer a lick. He tilted his head. Then, still insisting it smelled savory, he ate it. A moment later he went staggering, his whole body weaving as he walked. Gkamnyangi watched, then spoke.
"That's not it. Walk like this."
Gkamnyangi staggered along beside him.
"Like this-ong?"
"Yeah. That's it."
Hoesaegi walked a few more steps, then mimed throwing up — as if he had been standing right there in the treatment room watching Gamja retch.
"They really are something, copying that."
"That's why they're acting geniuses."
"True enough."
Every note of their hyungnims' admiration slipped straight into the two cats' ears, and they threw themselves even deeper into the performance. Thanks to that, Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi put on a display so fine it no longer felt like practice at all.
Gkamnyangi was the same. How could the acting of cats who had had to stand by and watch organs melt away in agony possibly fail to look real? With their whole bodies they were saying it: watch this video, hear this message, and please, please do not eat this fertilizer.
"You guys are amazing!"
Lee Jun pounded out a passionate round of Fist Applause, fists tapping together in a rapid, silent ovation, marveling at the two of them.
"Hey, Jun, once this video goes out, these guys are going to blow up."
The excitement in Kwak Suho's voice was unmistakable.
"Amazing, right? After seeing this, dogs and cats will never eat that stuff."
The message the three of them carried was that powerful. They were strong when it counted. If practice already looked like this, then when the cameras rolled, a fierce charisma would come pouring off them.
"Well, I don't know about that — but I can guarantee you one thing. Hollywood's going to call trying to scout them. Oh, absolutely."
Ah. So that's what he meant.
"Hahaha. If you tell them that acting means a mountain of food for their friends, they'll perform with fire in their eyes."
Kwak Suho, who knew a cat's nature well, laughed along with Lee Jun. That was the end of practice. All that remained now was the real thing.
"In just three nights, everyone will be head over heels for how cool I am-ong."
"I'll be the coolest."
"I'm cool, I do."
Each of them utterly convinced he was the greatest, the three threw themselves into rehearsal. Whenever they had a spare moment — no, every moment except mealtimes — they practiced, and practiced, and practiced again. Word of the three of them spread through Mongmong Animal Hospital in an instant.
The dogs gathered in Inpatient Room 3 were in full bloom gossiping about them.
"Hoesaegi-hyung's gonna win."
Jamong, a devoted Hoesaegi fan, said it like a boast.
"Hmm, young Hoesaegi is impressive, but young Gkamnyangi's no slouch either. Hard to pick a winner, I'd say."
"I'm of the same mind, I am. Aigoo. The hyungnims acted so darn well — they all did great, they did."
"Hyungnim Hoesaegi is the coolest."
Little Grey cheered for Hoesaegi.
"What are you talking about? Hyungnim Gkamnyangi is the best."
Mungchi took Gkamnyangi's side. And while they argued, the day of the shoot drew near.