I Survived
“He’s back, that bastard!?”
The bowl that had held food shattered into pieces.
He’d been doing all right lately, and now that good-for-nothing was throwing another fit.
Gu Sajin, Moyong Gangcheon’s closest confidant, squeezed his eyes shut.
A high, thin voice cut through the sound of breaking crockery.
Moyong Gangcheon snapped back to himself at the sound. He waved a hand at the courtesans seated on either side of him.
“You two, step outside for a moment.”
One of the courtesans let her robe slip from a bare shoulder and gave him a coquettish smile.
“Can’t we play a little longer first? The conversation was just getting fun.”
“That’s right,” the other chimed in with a matching smile.
Moyong Gangcheon grinned idiotically and waved them off.
“Fine, fine. I’ll spoil you later. Now go.”
“All right. But finish quick, okay?”
“Heh heh. Sure.”
Gu Sajin was grateful his head was already bowed. If it hadn’t been, he never would have managed to keep his face straight through that shameless, lust-soaked display.
Even though we’re from the same house…!
After the family head of the Moyong Family had suddenly vanished, the clan’s factions had split around the three sons.
The eldest, Moyong Jinryong.
The second, Moyong Gangcheon.
The third, Moyong Ryu.
Moyong Jinryong was infamous for his cruel methods, yet as the firstborn—and the one who had driven the Hwangbo Family out of the commercial sphere from Liaodong all the way to Hebei—he commanded the support of the elders and the upper ranks, building a massive power base.
Moyong Ryu was equally ruthless and merciless toward his enemies, but he was known for absolute loyalty to his own people and for having fought on the front lines himself. That history had cemented solid support among the lower ranks.
Caught between them, the second son Moyong Gangcheon was neither one nor the other.
I backed the wrong horse.
Gu Sajin kept his head down and let out a quiet groan.
On the surface Moyong Gangcheon had a following of his own. But it was less a pure Moyong Family faction than a web of outside alliances. His debauched love of women, drink, and song, and his complete inability to separate public from private, were more than enough to erode the loyalty of his subordinates.
And now the illegitimate fourth young master has suddenly appeared as well.
In an already chaotic situation, another spark had been thrown onto the fire. The Moyong Family was quietly trembling from the foundations up.
That spark was the fourth son, Moyong Bi—long said to have vanished more than a decade ago along with the family head’s most favored concubine.
He had yet to appear in any official capacity, yet Elder Pal, the upright old man who had never so much as budged for the other sons’ advances, had declared his support for the fourth young master.
That much they could have lived with. The other sons would never have stood for it. Everyone had assumed the boy would be dead soon enough.
But Moyong Bi had been different.
The news that he had somehow escaped and successfully taken refuge at Cheonsubaekryeonsa was enough to make many people question the current flow of power.
From that moment on, Moyong Gangcheon’s pathological irritability had only grown worse. Already insecure about his own base of support, the appearance of yet another rival had filled him with a burning desire to kill the fourth son.
“What the hell is that little shit made of that he survived again this time?! Big Brother put his hand in, didn’t he? Did I get bad information?!”
Clang!
The teacup Moyong Gangcheon hurled in a fit of rage smashed against Gu Sajin’s forehead. Red blood ran down his brow.
Gu Sajin did not so much as flinch. He kept his head bowed and reported.
“It is one of the pieces of intelligence we obtained after two of our spies were eliminated. Its authenticity is certain. We have also confirmed that, through the influence of one of the Cheonsubaekryeonsa leadership who received the first young master’s patronage, the content of the ‘first’ punitive trial was swapped midway…”
“Then is the Moyong Bi who just walked through the main gate a ghost? I know Big Brother’s thorough nature better than anyone—how the hell did that bastard come back alive?!”
“That… I also…”
“Damn it, and this dense fool is my closest aide?!”
Moyong Gangcheon pounded his chest and slumped back in his chair.
“I should have broken both his hands back then. He was such a worm I showed him mercy.”
Gu Sajin hesitated several times before finally bringing up the matter he had originally come to confirm with his lord.
“Young Master, more importantly, there are points we need to confirm regarding the progress of the Ha-mu-gwan trials assigned to you this time…”
“How much money did I feed Executioner Lee Jasuo, and you’re still bothering me with that crap? Handle it yourself!”
Gu Sajin bit his lip.
The world people lived in was the same everywhere. No matter how airtight a place looked, as long as people lived there, cracks always existed. And money always slipped into those cracks.
People pointed fingers at bribes and cursed them, yet bribes continued to live and breathe for one simple reason: they possessed a power clearer than almost anything else.
“…Thanks to Lee Jasuo’s efforts, we were able to learn the contents of two of the trials in advance and prepare solutions. But he says the third trial is one you must resolve yourself, Young Master. Of course, we have already secured the details this time as well, so please do not worry.”
“Ha. I was supposed to drink with Eunhyang tonight. Annoying. Fine, then—”
That was when it happened.
“Young Master! Young Master Moyong Gangcheon!”
The door nearly flew off its hinges as a subordinate half-tumbled into the room.
“Where do you think you are? What is the meaning of this!” Moyong Gangcheon roared.
The subordinate’s face was deathly pale as he dropped to his knees in a panic.
“Young Master, forgive my rudeness! Urgent news from the main family!”
“The main family?”
At the words “urgent news from the main family,” the atmosphere changed completely.
The subordinate spoke as if he were about to choke.
“It concerns the Family Head. Young Master, you must go at once—!”
“Excuse me, guest.”
The inn sat halfway between the Spring-Autumn Hall and Ha-mu-gwan of Cheonsubaekryeonsa.
The waiter stared blankly at the figure standing in front of him.
It was the same waiter I had met the first time I passed the Chunmu Hall promotion exam.
He looked at me for a long while.
I looked at him too.
We were staring at each other for completely different reasons.
I was gazing at the man and the scenery around him with the eyes of someone who had never expected to see them again.
And the waiter—
“Even Beggars’ Sect disciples don’t wander around looking like that.”
—was staring with pure horror.
Damn it.
I understood completely.
I scratched my cheek with a finger and spoke awkwardly.
“That’s why I’m asking so politely right now. I’ll pay. But I’m so hungry I need food first. As for where I’ll eat…”
I gestured outside.
“I’ll sit on the veranda in the corner of the inn courtyard.”
“Couldn’t you wash up first? I can prepare bathwater and toiletries right away.”
I shook my head firmly.
“I need food and clean water right this second. I can’t wait even a little.”
I was done licking rocks and tasting moss. I wanted fresh water.
“Ah… yes. As for the food…”
“Anything’s fine. Wait—no.”
Suddenly I remembered the meal I had shared with Moyong Ryu.
“I don’t know the name, but… stir-fried noodles with green herbs on top, and duck meat, and things like that. The ones that…”
I still couldn’t bring myself to call him hyung-nim.
“…that Moyong Ryu, a fellow member of my training group, ordered for me.”
“Ah, yes. Recently that order has only ever come from Disciple Moyong Ryu. Now I understand. That won’t be a problem—our master knows it well. Please wait.”
The waiter nodded and disappeared.
“Can hair really grow that long in just three months…?”
He muttered something under his breath as he left, but I pretended not to hear.
I looked at the inn.
“…I thought I’d never see it again.”
Three months, he said.
Only three months had passed.
“Ugh. Disgusting.”
A female martial artist with long, glossy black hair pinched her nose and frowned as she walked past me.
“Ah.”
Only then did I fully register my own state. I hurried out into the well-ventilated courtyard of the inn.
I sat on the veranda in the corner.
It was a secluded spot; no one else came near.
White gravel covered the ground, and a willow tree swayed on one side.
…
Swaaaah.
As if nothing had ever happened, the inn of Cheonsubaekryeonsa looked exactly as it had the day I left.
“Nothing’s changed at all.”
It was a reminder that barely any time had passed.
Clack.
The waiter brought a tray of food.
…
I picked up the chopsticks.
Hesitated.
Lifted the rice bowl and set it down again.
Picked up the noodles.
Poked at them a few times.
Stirred the slippery sauce and oil around, then—
“Ah, right.”
Suddenly remembering, I placed a piece of meat on top of the noodles.
…
I couldn’t eat.
I just stared for a long time.
“Mumyeong, I…”
I spoke quietly in a hoarse voice.
“Honestly, I thought I’d never get to eat this again. Every time I screamed ‘I won’t die, I won’t die’ like I was thrashing for my life, but…”
[…]
“I really… thought I’d never get out. I thought I’d never see sunlight again.”
Mumyeong said nothing.
But I could feel that he was listening.
Swaaaah.
The willow swayed.
[You may eat.]
In his usual dry, emotionless tone, he spoke.
[Well done.]
Clack.
I picked up meat and noodles and put them in my mouth.
I couldn’t taste anything.
My sense of taste was so shocked by the alien flavors that it refused to respond.
I pressed each bite against my tongue, one by one, as if trying to wake it up.
For more than two and a half years I had eaten nothing but dry rat meat.
Over thirty months.
More than nine hundred days.
Nearly a thousand days.
In a place without a single ray of sunlight, I had clawed and struggled to survive while tearing at rat flesh.
“Hngh.”
I set the chopsticks down.
With both hands I grabbed meat and rice and began stuffing them into my mouth.
“Hic… sob… hic…”
Tears fell.
Tears and snot mixed together until I couldn’t even tell what anything tasted like.
Even so, I packed my mouth full.
I’m alive.
I really made it out alive.
No one was watching, but I really did fight with everything I had just to live.
“Hic… sob… hngh…”
I had overcome it all and returned, yet there was no one to boast to.
No one to celebrate it as if it were their own victory.
No family member to pat my head and tell me I had done well.
So this is what it means to be alone.
I had clearly come out of the cave.
The sunlight was warm.
And yet the feeling that nothing had changed—was that just my imagination?
The willow swayed.
A cool breeze blew.
When I left this place it had been the sticky heat of summer. Now the wind was already announcing the threshold of autumn.
Was it because the sound of the wind was loud?
Or because I was too focused on the food?
Or was it Mumyeong’s deliberate silence, refusing to interrupt this moment?
“Does it taste good, you moron?”
Beside me sat Jin Muje, pale-skinned and black-haired, arms crossed as he watched the swaying willow.
“Wh-what the—!”
I was so startled I hiccuped.
Food stuck in my throat.
“Did you choke? Pathetic.”
Thok.
Jin Muje extended his sword and tapped the water flask. With that subtle shift of balance the flask spun and came to rest in front of me.
I thumped my chest and drank.
While I was at it I deliberately splashed water across my face, as if by accident.
“It’s been so long since I drank water from a bottle that I made a mess.”
I wiped my soaked face and kept my head down.
It would take a while for my red nose to go back to normal.
“How desperately do you have to eat to spill water like that?”
“Thug of a Taoist.”
“What.”
Jin Muje didn’t even look at me. He kept his eyes on the garden.
I pretended to wipe my clothes and muttered,
“It’s been a while.”
He glanced at me and said,
“I’m not here right now. I’m just sitting on the inn veranda looking at the willow tree, and you just happen to be here too.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Coo-coo-coo.
A mountain dove hopped over, pecking at the rice grains and food I had dropped.
With one long white finger Jin Muje pointed at the bird.
“I’m talking to the dove.”
A beat later I remembered that he and Moyong Ryu had both been given solitary training orders.
As long as he was in Ha-mu-gwan, he was forbidden from meeting or interacting with anyone from our group—or anyone else.
Still looking at the dove, Jin Muje said,
“Looks like you finally caught on. As expected, you’re hopeless. Moron.”
He nudged the approaching dove away with his sword hilt.
The bird cooed but didn’t flee; it just circled nearby.
…
That completely natural act made any sense of joy evaporate. I wanted to kill him.
“I can feel you glaring. Want to die?”
“Wow, this place really does have great noodles.”
And so the two of us sat there, watching the mountain dove peck at rice grains while the autumn wind washed over us.
“So why’d you come?”
“You don’t know?”
Jin Muje frowned.
“I heard some idiot failed the very first trial and came to check.”
“…That so.”
In the waiting area, just as Eun Seollyeong had said, the young man who had handed me the first trial was gone.
Moreover, Cheonsubaekryeonsa showed not the slightest curiosity about who had given me that first trial. They had to manage the trials of several hundred disciples; the only piece of information they cared about regarding me was that I had failed to pass within the one-month limit.
Having returned after more than two and a half months, I was naturally recorded as having failed the first trial.
“And since you’re a member of the same group, I figured you should know this too. I came to pass it along while I was at it.”
“Something I should know?”
A cool autumn wind blew.
Watching the falling leaves, Jin Muje spoke.
“Master Pahwanggun has been imprisoned.”