Han Daeri Craves Transcendence
"It's time."
"Dinner, sir?"
"No. Time for my transcendence."
The Han Daeri you all know is actually a being who's grinded insane amounts of experience points through awakenings, transcendences, and promotions over and over.
I started out as Han Siwoo in the newbie village, then became Han the Newbie, Han the Assistant Manager, and finally reached Han Daeri.
"To the workshop. Ma Suri should've prepped my awakening item by now."
"Ah, got it."
S-man flung aside his blood-smeared telescoping baton and grabbed the wheel. We'd dealt with the thugs swarming the red-light district to catch us, stolen a car to escape, shaken off pursuers, and repeated the cycle—half a day had flown by faster than expected.
Back at Ma Suri's workshop, we stripped off our blood- and sweat-soaked outer clothes and flung open the door, where holy energy wafted thick in the air.
"I've been waiting."
Inside, all the furniture was shoved to the corners, leaving a vast empty space in the center where Ma Suri sat proudly. He was itching to unveil his half-day masterpiece, yet he'd properly draped it under a tarp.
"To be honest, this was a once-in-a-lifetime challenge. Me, who's spent my whole life carving magic crosses no bigger than 30cm... I never dreamed I'd craft something over a meter long."
"Even through the tarp, I can feel its ominous presence."
"It shattered all conventions. Processing wood without any magic... was horrifyingly tough. Anyway, this is a colossal weapon forged from hardwood phallic wood. No man but you could wield it."
Ma Suri wiped his sweat and gingerly gripped the tarp's edge behind him. With a dramatic whoosh, he yanked it away—and that's when S-man and I truly understood what a superhuman mega-cock was.
About a meter long, thigh-thick for an adult male, and at least 50kg heavy. The weight came from the steel core replacing the inner filling.
I gripped the thick handle of the inverted cross-shaped behemoth and took a deep breath, like King Arthur (not the girl one) before pulling Excalibur. Lifting this would make me not-Han-Daeri, even temporarily. In other words, it was a game-changer that'd shatter my identity.
Could I really wield this Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Phallus freely?
No, it's not about can or can't. I must!
Give me strength, Linkin Park!
"Kiryaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!"
Alpha Male Trait: Wields any weapon one-handed, no matter the weight. That's why alpha males don't use bows like fags. Bows are two-handed weapons.
"S-Sir, it's standing!!"
"Yes! It's up! Fully erect!"
Just as he said, I hoisted the physical cross straight overhead. With one hand! Like jerking off one-handed!
But this was just the start. For the official promotion, more steps remained. An alpha male's evolution demanded it.
"S-man! Play it now! It has to be now! I want to evolve with that!"
"W-What exactly, sir?!"
"You know! That thing from Pokémon that got outsold so they marketed it as adult dark fantasy! The one where the orange dinosaur gets force-fed and swallowed, turning into a bone dragon and going dark! I need that evolution BGM!"
"Understood!"
S-man shouted at his S-30 smartphone.
"Bixby! Play The Brave Heart! The 20-year-old dub version!"
Just say 'Brave Heart'.
"That could get us sued for plagiarism!"
Understood. Establishing plagiarism avoidance strategy for Master. S Corporation takes no responsibility for this.
As the familiar electric beat kicked in, power surged through my body. This was it. I'd lived this long for this.
"Han Daeri evoooooolveeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jesus Heaven Nonbelievers Hell!Jesus Heaven Nonbelievers Hell!Jesus Heaven Nonbelievers Hell!
"Han Gwajang."
Emerging from the blinding light, I was an even cooler man. Specifically, my business card now read Supernatural Phenomena Resolution Office Han Gwajang, not Han Daeri.
Assistant managers make mid-3,000s salaries; managers hit mid-4,000s. I'd become a superior human, a thousand units richer annually.
"This is a manager's 'power'?"
Aaah, I could do anything now. I could let the department head's nagging go in one ear and out the other. I could even pressure the cafeteria auntie with a glare for extra meat. This satisfaction! This omnipotence! This high!
I'd finally transcended assistant manager.
"No wonder everyone craves transcendence. I get the rung-jjin now."
Lifting the 50kg+ behemoth had me worried about a snapped wrist, but as Han Gwajang, it felt like a feather. Of course, like all things, this evolution event was temporary. After this job, I'd revert to Han Daeri.
But no regrets. I'd touched that dream realm for real, gauging my potential. This was enough for now.
"Incredible! Even I who made it am blown away! Among foot-technique cross users, you're the pinnacle of pinnacles. With all foot-technicians' respect, may I call you Full Foot-Technician?"
"Call me whatever. Let's go, S-man. H Group's top brass must be waiting necks stretched."
Acknowledged as Full Foot-Technician from mere foot-technician, I strode out shoulders squared, brimming with confidence. Alpha males don't ride shotgun like minions, so I climbed the pickup truck's bed to broadcast my presence worldwide. I banged the roof; S-man revved the engine with a jaunty exhaust roar.
Finally, I'd meet the H Group bastards who'd pushed this Han Daeri to the next level. And make them believe in Jesus.
"Not yet? Not yet? Not yet?!"
"Chairman, word is Han Daeri just returned to Seoul!"
"Knowing he's back means shit! Only matters if you drag him before me!!"
"W-We're tracking his route—he's heading straight here."
"...For sure?"
"Seoul's crawling with our eyes. Certain."
The planning director, ass still smarting from yesterday's beating, wagged his tail like a loyal dog before Park Han-jeong. The chairman ignored it utterly. Over a day of waiting, he'd downed countless whiskeys, beard twitching.
No one had stressed him like this since S Group's chairman. He stood rigid alone, gazing out the window at the moonlit autumn sky—no dozing like a sick bird, no senile ramblings.
This mansion was H Group's elite residence: Renaissance-style nobility facade, but peak H construction tech inside. All windows bulletproof, panic rooms and secret passages standard. Doors sensor-locked; unauthorized entry triggered traps. Paranoia from S Group's spy fiasco.
Over a hundred guards deployed. Even a big shot won't walk out unscathed.
Hell, no guarantee they'd walk out alive. He planned to crush Han Whatever, grind him to dog food.
"Chairman, he's entered the street."
"There he is."
His eyesight had faded, but this land was all his. The 'street' was vast, lined with buildings, but the path to the mansion was a straight imperial line. Any visitor felt the psychological crush: traverse this grandeur to reach the core palace.
"Proceed as planned. Drag him to me."
"Yes, sir!"
The planning director radioed orders; guards mobilized. Touching the royal family demanded heavy payment.