Erection
"I was shocked when the first custom magic cross commission came in. Never thought anyone on this Korean peninsula would commission me—the last heir of the Ma family, the only lineage still carrying on the craft of magic crosses! I'm Ma Suri, the final successor of the Ma house, master of all magic cross creation. My distant ancestors holed up in the mountains, only to get their heads chopped off."
"A magic cross...? How exactly is it different from a regular cross?"
"Very different! Extremely so!"
Ma Suri showed them a standard cross that Christians carry and a sample of his specially crafted magic cross as he explained.
"Your everyday cross is a religious symbol for Christians, reminding believers of Jesus's sacrifice and teaching faith, sacrifice, and love. But this magic cross? It's a special artifact infused with pagan magic that absolutely cannot coexist with religion. Especially this one with phoenix feathers inside—it lets you withstand a burning building bare-skinned for a short while."
"Like a shamanistic blessing?"
"Not quite a blessing. A religious symbol can't hold any holy power other than sacred force, right? Unless it's twisted like something devil worshippers use. Our family just borrowed the concept."
"The concept..."
"If a straight staff was the old-school musket rifle, then today's magic cross is a fully modern assault rifle. Look closely—a cross has a structure like the human body, which makes it incredibly handy for people to wield. Similar structure means great accessibility."
Indeed, stand a cross upright, and it looks just like someone with legs together and arms spread wide. It seemed simplistic at first glance, but I got what he meant by "borrowing the concept." Following ergonomic design principles made the cross-shaped staff far more efficient than a plain straight one.
"Objects with similar structures make it easy to connect circuits, and once the circuits are linked, you can control them with your own will. Depending on the materials and crafting method, they boast wildly different powers. Our ancestors deemed this force too dangerous, so they decided to hide away quietly on the Korean peninsula."
"Fascinating backstory. But with a small cross like this, there can't be that many uses. Sure, some fire protection is handy, but..."
Ma Suri tsktisked his tongue, cutting off S-man.
"If it was just for that, we'd call it a talisman cross, not a magic cross. We call it magic because it actually casts spells. In our family, we don't call it magic—we say it's 'ki emission,' and named it erection. By the way, I'm a certified 15cm Erection Technician."
"The cm unit feels awfully suggestive."
"Don't misunderstand. There's a reason for it. But first, let me demonstrate. Hraaaaaah!"
Ma Suri gripped the magic cross, let out a massive kiai, and focused with bulging eyes. A faint aura-like energy emerged from the tip, shooting out straight. By eye, it was exactly 15cm.
"Erection Technicians can control this ki in their own way. The more ki you emit, the longer and thicker the erection gets, naturally amplifying its real-world impact. At my level, a mere 15cm erection can slice or pierce 1cm-thick steel."
"Oooh..."
"Whew, haven't done that in ages—tiring stuff. Anyway, since you've uncovered my long-hidden secret and commissioned a magic cross, I owe you the best damn product for customers like you."
S-man and I decided not to mention we'd just googled "good woodworkers" and stumbled here.
"The 5cm sample I just showed is for kids practicing. Adult models start at 15cm base. We can scale up by preference or power, customize materials too."
"Can you make one from peach wood?"
"Plain peach wood, or lightning-struck peach wood. Peach trees hold spiritual energy, so they're top-tier for magic crosses. Pricey accordingly."
"Lightning-struck peach wood for a 15cm magic cross. I worked at S Group, so electric attribute sounds good."
"Electric eel whiskers would be perfect filler. But lightning-struck peach with electric infusion? That'll make something extreme. You sure you can handle it? Hate to say it, but folks who obsess over one thing like that tend to die young."
"Lightning's positive energy—perfect match for my heavy yin nature."
"If you say so. Don't come crying to me if you get zapped later. No A/S per shop policy. And you, sir?"
I scanned the samples, but nothing fit my taste. The biggest was 30cm max—who the hell shoves that up someone's nose? I want big.
"Custom shop, right? Tailor to my tastes: minimum 1m length, at least 20cm thick. Bonus: tough enough to bash people or beasts without breaking."
"Magic crosses aren't made for bashing people..."
"Customer's king—that's the industry rule, yeah?"
S-man flashed a few ten-million-won bills, and Ma Suri nodded vigorously.
"Damn right! If the customer's not king, who is?! A fresh challenge into uncharted territory—no loss for me. For durability, I recommend merbau hardwood. Super high surface and structural strength—no snapping or cracking from a few whacks. Rot-resistant too; proper finish means no decay even with blood on it. Not called natural preservative wood for nothing."
"That'll do."
"No need for fancy fillers. Iron core it is. Feels more like a physical cross than magic, so weird fillers would dilute the point. Iron core nails weight, durability, and impact all at once."
Ma Suri sketched furiously, excitedly showing me the rough design. A massive wooden cross big enough for an adult man to shoulder—not crucifixion-sized, but plenty hefty as a blunt weapon. Honestly, a 2-3m true crucifix would be a pain to carry anyway. This compromise nailed portability and utility—no reason to refuse.
"Looks good. Go with that. Oh, and engrave the surface: Jesus Heaven, Nonbelievers Hell."
"...You one of those people?"
"Personal taste."
"No problem then."
Ma Suri finalized the design and whipped up S-man's custom 15cm L-pen on the spot. S-man, finally owning something longer than his S-pen, looked pretty pleased. My turn next, but the size meant processing and crafting would take time—earliest finish tonight.
We'd left early morning, so half a day wait. We headed downtown for lunch and some chill time.
"Why the sudden cross need?"
"Some bastard sent me nails, telling me to prove it myself."
"Malicious. Sending nails with 'prove yourself'—means get crucified like Jesus or stake your own heart."
"Must've pissed him off good. Probably thought he was showing mercy: repent and suicide, or grovel and apologize. Something like that."
"From what I dug up, nailing's bad juju even outside Christianity. Classic curse dolls with target nails, hair, clippings. Or sealing something, cutting its line. In the spirit world, physically nailing fixes the spiritual—never good."
"That's why I need the cross. He wants proof? I'll give it gladly."
Plus, mastering erection lets me double as mystic and technician—pretty cool.
I glanced in the car mirror at the black Starex stealthily tailing us.
Erection won't go down.