Madmen Recognize Madmen

Madmen recognize madmen. The night before the trip. I sat in front of the monitor, scrolling the mouse wheel. The screen showed an article titled "Precautions for Using Pet-Friendly Pensions." Since this was my first long-distance trip with Maximus, I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wanted to check if there were any etiquette rules I might not know about.

But the more I read, the stranger it felt.

...The further I scrolled, the more absurd it got. These weren't precautions—they were basic common sense for any human being, right? Of course you clean up poop. And who the hell throws their dog into water? Do they really need to spell this out? I clicked my tongue and went to close the window, but a chill ran down my spine.

Wait a second. Warnings like these only exist because that crap actually happened in real life. Signs saying "Do not lean against subway doors" are there because someone fell out when the doors opened. Even that urban legend about "Do not put cats in microwaves" came from some idiot who actually did it.

So that means...

"There are people out there who actually ignore this stuff."

Goosebumps prickled across my skin. Real humans who visit someone else's business, leave dog poop everywhere, and toss their unwilling dogs into pools? I could hear my faith in humanity shattering like glass.

I brushed the chicken skin off my arms. The world is wide, and there are all kinds of weirdos, but just imagining it was horrifying.

I can't risk it. Better safe than sorry. I opened the search bar again and jotted down the locations and phone numbers of 24-hour animal hospitals near Gapyeong in my notepad. Then, a thick padded vest in case Maximus got cold. An attachment blanket and his special addictive cushion to help him sleep in a new environment. Emergency meds, his favorite treats, extra pee pads—you name it.

"Alright, this is perfect."

Thorough preparation. That's the mark of a 15-year pro camper.

"Heh heh."

...Was I getting a little excited too? It's been ages since I stayed at a pension. Eh, it'll be fine.

The next morning. I opened the trunk of my trusty Galloper in the underground parking garage. I set up the camera and hustled to load the gear.

"Hup...!"

I grunted, heaving a heavy box. When would this pathetic stamina of mine improve? Stacking everything like Tetris, I suddenly froze. Wiping sweat from my forehead, I stared blankly into the trunk.

"...Why the hell did I pack all this camping gear?"

The trunk was stuffed with tent, tarp, relax chair, fire pit, firewood—the works. Our destination was a luxury pool villa, not some wilderness site. It had beds, sofas, a fully equipped kitchen. They even said there was a top-grade BBQ grill ready to go.

So why did I bring the fire pit and firewood?

"Sigh..."

Habits are a scary thing. The word "trip" must've flipped my body into camping mode automatically. Should I unload it?

Nah. You never know.

To a camper, "you never know" is like a magic spell. The villa might suck, or I might crave some fire gazing in the yard, or hell, the world might end and I'd need to survive in the wild. Might as well bring it all since it's already packed.

I eyed the neatly stacked gear wistfully and shut the trunk. I buckled Maximus into the passenger seat.

"Maximus, ready to roll?"

"Wang!"

With his hearty bark, I turned the key. The rough engine vibration hummed through my butt. Yeah, that's the true start of any trip.

We hit the national highway toward Gapyeong, leaving Seoul behind. My phone, connected via Bluetooth, rang. The screen showed [DIY Kim Seontae]. I hit the button on the steering wheel.

"Hello?"

A global YouTuber with 4 million subs fretting over lodging costs. Definitely down-to-earth folks.

Soon, the nav announced our arrival.

"Whoa..."

I gasped at the view through the windshield. Way grander than the photos. The three-story modern building gleamed with floor-to-ceiling glass for insane natural light, fronted by a soccer-field-sized lawn. There was even a slide and swings for kids.

The scale is insane...

I parked, got out, and unclipped Maximus's leash. He bolted onto the grass, tail spinning like a propeller.

"Wang! Wang-!!"

Watching him sniff and zoom around filled me with warmth. Then the front door flew open, and a little kid waddled out.

"Unni!"

She looked like a baby penguin in her thick puffer jacket. I braced as she charged.

Perfect. Time to show off.

All those sweat-drenched PT sessions at the gym. Muscles might not show yet, but my core was steel now. I'd scoop her up dramatically for an epic reunion shot.

"Areumie! I missed you, unni?"

I bent at the perfect moment, hands under her armpits, and hoisted with a grunt.

"Hup!"

She floated up. Flawless so far—her beaming smile, my cool expression. But a second later...

Uh...?

A sharp twinge shot through my arms. Then they started shaking like leaves.

She's heavy...!

She looked fluffy as cotton candy! Was she solid bone? Carrying lead weights in her pockets?

"Unni? What's wrong?"

Little Areum tilted her head in my arms. I forced a grin.

"N-nothing... You've been eating well, huh, Areumie? So sturdy..."

My arms were giving out. Drop her or snap my back—one or the other. Cold sweat trickled down my spine.

Crisis. Then salvation bounded up.

"Mung!"

Maximus dashed over from the grass. Little Areum's eyes locked on him.

"Wow! A doggy!"

She squirmed to get down.

"I wanna see the doggy! Put me down!"

"S-sure? Haha."

I set her down faster than anyone, hiding my arms behind me and flexing my fists.

Phew... Close call on the embarrassment.

Maybe beg the PT trainer for more torture. Little Areum squatted in front of Maximus. He wagged over, and she extended the back of her hand patiently—letting him sniff and explore.

"Mommy said kids smaller than me get scared easy, so approach slow!"

She beamed proudly. I gave her a thumbs-up in awe. Perfect upbringing—and she actually does it.

Then Kim Seontae and Choi Miyeon approached.

"Areum-ssi, you made it? No traffic?"

"Nah, wide open on a weekday."

"Thanks so much for inviting us. The place is amazing—we're stunned."

"No biggie."

We exchanged pleasantries and headed inside. Even flashier than outside—high ceilings, marble floors, massive fireplace in the living room.

If I make bank someday, I want a villa like this.

We assigned rooms and unpacked. I gave the biggest second-floor one to the Kim family and took a first-floor room—still bigger than my studio.

After sorting gear, I stepped into the yard. And blinked at the sight.

Little Areum on a bench far off, holding a white fluffy blob. Bringing it to her mouth.

"...?!"

My brain went blank. White fur. Round shape. No way...?

Areumie?!

I barely swallowed a scream.

No! No matter how cute Maximus is, you don't eat him! The fur looks like cotton candy, but it's real fur!

Heart pounding, I was about to yell and sprint—

Tap, tap.

Something nudged my ankle. Maximus rubbing against my leg, tail wagging.

"...?"

Wait, you're here? Then what's that over there?

I looked up. Little Areum was chomping a cotton candy stick like a champ.

"Nom nom."

Sugar dusting her lips, pure bliss. Relief hit like a wave.

"Ah..."

Choi Miyeon chuckled beside me.

"We got her cotton candy at the amusement park recently—first time. Now she begs for it every outing. Packed some this morning 'cause she wanted it by the pool."

"Ah, gotcha."

I scratched my head sheepishly. Duh, kids don't eat dogs. Overreacted.

"Haha... Cotton candy's irresistible, huh? Looks yummy."

I babbled to cover my embarrassment, petting Maximus.

Then Kim Seontae emerged from unpacking.

He hesitated, then ventured, "Um, Areum-ssi."

"Yeah?"

"If you're not too tired... could you film some content with us?"

"Content?"

"Yeah. Seeing Maximus sparked an idea. I wanna make him some toys..."

A 4-million-sub YouTuber offering custom toys for my dog? Refusing would be idiotic. No reason to.

"Whoa, really? Hell yeah. Maximus will love it."

"Great. I'll grab materials."

His face lit up. He headed to his pickup truck in the lot. Curiosity pulled me along.

DIY channel—probably got cool carving knives or a small saw.

But when he opened the bed cover...

"......"

It looked like a construction site. Portable welder. Mini grinder. Impact drill. Massive toolbox crammed with wrenches and hammers. Even a mini generator.

Whoa...

...A family trip, and he brings a welder? What a maniac.

A man possessed by creation. Soul sold to DIY. The epitome of a crafting madman. No wonder he hit 4 million subs. Impressive.

"......"

Then it hit me. My badass Galloper's trunk, demurely packed with gear. 4-person dome tent. Cast-iron fire pit. Bundle of firewood. Field bed. And the axe, just in case.

And I realized: To outsiders, I'm the camping maniac.