Hell's Chicken Incoming

"...So this tent's poles are made of carbon fiber, making them incredibly strong and..."

My excited yapping cut off dead. Hmm. It was way too quiet around us.

Im Nana and Rika were staring at me like zombies, and the chat on the smartphone screen was plastered with ???.

Oh crap. I went full rant mode again.

This wasn't my channel. It was Rika's live stream. And right now was her historic face reveal moment. Yet I'd been blabbing about camping specs like an idiot.

...Reel it in. Get a grip, seriously.

I cleared my throat awkwardly and pivoted hard. "Ahem. Camping promo ends here... Everyone, first time seeing Rika in person, right?"

The chat exploded in an instant.

The reactions were fire. Some newbies, some diehards who'd stuck around for three years.

"What do you think? Super pretty, right? I thought she was a model when I first saw her."

Of course, not just any model. More like the type who'd look perfect parked on a motorcycle outside a convenience store. But I kept that thought locked down.

Rika blushed and waved her hands frantically at my compliment. "N-no! Model? Come on...!"

"Alright, Rika-chan time! Say hi properly to the viewers."

Nana jumped in with perfect timing. Live streams were definitely her jam.

Rika took a big breath, then stared straight into the camera ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lens. "Um... Hi! It's Rika-chan. Everyone shocked?"

She scratched her cheek shyly and kept going. "I wrestled with doing a face reveal forever. Kept thinking 'someday,' but didn't expect it'd happen like this."

Another deep breath. "But with Nana-chan and Arumi here today, I mustered the courage. Alone? No way I'd have done it."

Her voice rang with sincerity. The chat turned into a waterfall of cheers and praise.

The warm fuzzies kept ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠rolling until a sharp question popped up.

Fair question. Korean beauty YouTuber, Korean camping YouTuber, Japanese game streamer? Wild combo.

"Nana-chan and I met in high school. I knew some Korean, so I came as an exchange student."

"Right! Our class got a foreign exchange kid~ And her Korean was insane!"

"I loved volleyball, so I went to a match. Nana-chan was flying all over as libero! So cool."

"Psh, flying? Nah~"

"For real! I approached her first. Wanted to be friends. Turns out we were in the same class."

The rest was rom-com gold: Rika taught Nana Japanese, Nana shared Korean and culture. Besties for life.

Knew it. First time hearing it, I thought teen movie too.

The wholesome train kept chugging until a dagger question stabbed in.

Hmm... My turn. As I geared up to speak, Rika tilted her head. "Camberji? What's that?"

"Pfft! Oh, that's Areum's nickname. Father of Camping."

Nana cackled explaining it. Rika's eyes went wide. "Father...? But Arumi's a girl?"

"Means she's that serious about camping."

Damn. Forgot Rika wouldn't know Camberji. The nickname was comfy now, but saying it to newbies? Still embarrassing.

Rika still looked baffled, but... "Met Arumi yesterday! Came on trip with Nana-chan, said hi—she's super pretty and sweet!"

The chat froze. Then detonated.

...Did I go too far?

Luring a total stranger—foreigner no less—into the mountains to pitch tents. But hey, couldn't keep this bliss to myself, right? And if I hadn't brought her, no one would've seen Ogi's rare discontinued tent pitched!

Plus, prime chance to hype camping to the masses. Can't pass that up.

Good things are meant to be shared.

Then another chat caught my eye.

Dohyuk? Who? I tilted my head at the unfamiliar name.

Rika caught my expression and grinned sheepishly. "Oh, Dohyuk's my boyfriend..."

"Ah... that guy."

The teddy bear dude from her profile pic.

"Huh? How do you know Dohyuk?"

"Saw him scrolling Nana's SNS."

"Ah! My profile pic? Hehe."

Rika wasn't hiding a thing. Straight-up proud, even.

So a female streamer just drops she's got a BF on stream?

Heard most keep it secret to sell that parasocial romance vibe. But yeah, better to rip the band-aid off upfront than stress about leaks. Viewers seemed chill too—no toxic meltdown.

Heard Rika's stream wins on skill, not cuteness. Fans match that vibe.

After some solid chit-chat, the sun dipped low. Bit early, but dinner time.

With the stream on, slow-cooking would kill time perfectly.

"Dinner prep? Early, but we can take it slow—cook slow, eat slow."

"Yes! Starving!"

"Yup! Camping food hype!"

Viewers loved the outdoor cook-along.

"Tonight: beer can chicken and fried chicken."

I hauled prepped gear from the car. Two stainless beer can chicken holders airlifted from Korea.

"Normally you'd use a real beer can, but heating it releases environmental hormones. So we use dedicated holders. Health first."

Quick explainer as I set up the grill. Stacked charcoal like a pro, lit with the torch.

Whoosh.

Ignored the backhanded compliments and focused. Once the binchotan glowed white-hot, plopped the holders on.

Filled 'em with beer, skewered two pre-seasoned whole chickens.

Squelch.

The chickens perched on the holders... yeah. Don't think about it.

"Hey!! No weird comments!!"

Rika yelled, face beet red.

...Fuck. Expansion play? These degenerates.

And "possible"? What kinda freak types that? I thought the pose was funny too... but saying it out loud? Different story.

YouTube comments were tame compared to live chat spice.

Closed the grill lid, then grabbed a massive bag from the trunk. Grunted it open—revealed a huge cast-iron lid (wok dome).

"This pushed my checked baggage weight to the limit. But fried chicken needs the wok lid for peak flavor."

Griped as I set it on the fire pit. Pulled remaining bags from the cooler: four whole unprocessed chickens.

"Phew... Don't worry. We've got a stomach of infinite capacity here."

I grinned at Nana.

Then—

Ding-!

Mystery order donation. Then another—

Ding-!

Nana squirmed bashfully, giggling. "Hehe..."

..Don't be shy. That's not a compliment.

"No worries. Zero food waste. Bones get crunched if we're lucky."

Time to butcher. Grabbed the hefty Chinese cleaver borrowed from Rika's family restaurant. Blade gleamed in the sun.

Plopped a chicken on the board. Deep breath, raised the cleaver high.

Thwack!

Dull crack as bones snapped. Thwack! Thwack! Relentless chops. Flesh splattered, bones crunched—echoing through camp.

"...Areum? You okay? Not mad, right? I'll eat light..."

"Arumi...? Maybe chill a bit... that knife's scary..."

What... You gotta strike hard for bones! Not slamming on purpose...

But... kinda fun? Their freaked faces sparked mischief. Kept chopping head down, but flicked my eyes up at them.

My innocent face goes haughty and sharp when blank. Uptilted glare...

"...What? Mad I caught the chicken?"

Low growl. Icy stare. Cleaver dripping meat bits.

"Eek!!"

Rika and Nana clung screaming.

Too hilarious—I burst out laughing. "Puhahaha!"

Kept the fun going through butchering and marinating. Firing up again for frying was a pain... but for tasty camp eats? Worth it.

Pulled out big fire pit, loaded firewood, tossed in two white-hot binchotan chunks.

Minutes later: roaring flames. Set wok lid on, poured oil like a waterfall.

Too much? Rookie talk. Deep frying needs full submersion for perfection. Halfway touching bottom? Soggy mess from uneven cooking.

Four chickens too. Even split, huge batch. Wok's big, but not that big.

"Just watch. Oil disposal? Got coagulant ready—no sweat."

Normally it'd be a hassle, but I packed coagulant this time.

Waited for oil to heat over woodfire. Hmm, about ready? Dropped batter pinch.

Sizzle! Bubbled up crisp.

"Now."

Dumped battered chunks in. Shwaaaa! Fried scent exploded. Bubbling frenzy. Golden browning.

Rika and Nana zoned out staring.

"Whoa, that sound..."

"Smell's insane..."

Fished out perfect fried chicken, drained. Golden glow.

"Hehe, not done yet. Got special sauces prepped just for tonight."

Pulled bottles from bag—whipped up after Rika went to bed, with grandpa's okay.

Red-tinged sweet-spicy gochujang. Soy-garlic sweet-savory reduction.

And... the penalty one Nana and I plotted: karma sauce. assholethisishellspicyhowdoeseatthis.

Game? Tongue twister. Hard-to-say sentences. Korean janmalnori.

Yup. We were pettily targeting Rika.