Gazing into the Abyss
I looked around the sparkling clean room. Hmm, this is perfect. I'd scrubbed every nook and cranny, and now it felt like a brand-new house. I was sitting there, basking in a glow of satisfaction, when sunlight streamed through the window and reflected off the spotless floor, dazzling my eyes. Staring at it, a sudden thought hit me.
"......"
What the hell have I done? The room was clean, sure, but my heart felt even heavier. What good was a spotless room? My image was probably still getting roasted alive in the camping gallery right now, impossible to scrub away.
I recalled something a comedian had said on a variety show once. 'After my skit airs, I always ego-search. That's how you spot your weak points. Sure, the hate comments pile up, but you gotta humbly take it.'
...Hah. Fine. If I have to take the hits, better rip the bandage off quick and start healing. Let's see. Time to check with my own eyes just how bad the roasting is.
I steeled myself, but nerves still jittered, so I scooped up Maximus into my arms and plopped down at the computer. The ancient PC whirred to life with its usual racket, but today it felt mercifully quick. With trembling hands, I grabbed the mouse and clicked the bookmark for the camping gallery.
"Posts coming up are normal so far..."
Questions about camping gear, requests for site recommendations—totally mundane stuff. So far, so good. Meant the bait had gone stale, right? A YouTuber with under 200K subs stirring up drama? It'd fizzle out fast anyway.
Then one post caught my eye. A standard gear recommendation request, but the title mentioned a brand I loved. Figured I'd drop some knowledge in the comments if I could.
Gonna go solo camping, debating bigger tents. What's the move? Windows would be nice. Wanna gaze at the night sky pouring down and grab a handful of stars...
"...?"
What the hell was that last line? It felt like walking down the street and getting clocked in the back of the head by a stranger.
"...No way?"
I hit back frantically and clicked another post. This one was a campground rec request.
Heading to Gangwon-do with friends, each bringing our own tents so campground it is. Not too crowded, quiet vibe, but the starlight's chattering away loud. Yeah.
Fuck. Stars chattering? What the hell, you psycho.
We're screwed. Even I cringed at that sappy line, but looks like the ripple effect was bigger than I thought.
Clicking the cringe tab suddenly felt terrifying. It was already solidified as a template...
Did I really need to peer that deep into the abyss?
"Still... kinda curious..."
Humans are animals that want to see forbidden shit even more. I chose to gaze into the depths.
Deep breath. Tap the cringe tab.
And there they were—the crystallized essence of the abyss.
The night sky doesn't comfort me. It just silently mirrors my collapse.
Damn, bro. That hits deep. lmao
Dropping a kimbap line and dipping ^^;; @))))))))))
Moonlight stepped on my shadow as it passed. Countless footsteps brushing by, ignoring me. Yeah, guess I'm the lagging star again today.
That's the level for peak cringe...
As expected, legendary! Peak of CampGal cringe!
I upvoted 20 times cuz it's so bad AAAAAAARGH!
I'm losing my mind. Eyes wide open, but everything's going dark. I clutched Maximus tight and writhed in silence.
My line...! My dawn feels...! It's taken over CampGal!
Scroll down, turn pages—no end in sight. Occasional reactions to my live stream or Maximus cuteness posts, but every one ended with a twisted version of my sappy line.
"Fuck... template..."
I used to chuckle at template posts... Now I'm the template. It's out of my hands now. Too much to handle.
Just one more... One last check. This one's normal, right?
Watched last live and drooled in my sleep. 12-hour low-temp whole hog... Nuff said. Pic shows crispy skin, juicy inside—total legend. Even the slicing sounds were music... Where to buy that setup? TL;DR: Looked tasty AF.
But my heart... still starves. While the world sleeps, only I stay awake.
Hah... Just this once.
Upvoted for the last line.
Now I'm breathing careful...
Stealing this~♡
Feels like I could grab a handful of Maximus if I reached out...
Thud. I slammed my head on the desk.
How do you even describe this self-loathing? I remembered elementary school—face-down crying at my desk for some reason, and the kid next to me peeking underneath: 'Hey, hey. You crying? Crying?' Back then I'd have decked the little shit... Now I couldn't even delete the SNS post or do jack about it. Made me sadder.
I wanted to give up on everything. What was it that comedian said? Humbly accept it? Oh yeah, that guy tanked his career with a DUI later.
Fuck... Short-sighted. Hell, I felt like ditching it all and going full hermit in the mountains.
That's when it buzzed.
Vrrr. Vrrr. The smartphone on the desk lit up. Caller ID: BbitManho GodPresident.
Normally I'd think camping wrap-up check-in, but right now? Dread hit first. 'Someone said SNS is a life-waster—boss gonna chew me out?'
My heart dropped. If he demanded an explanation for this mess, what could I say? 'Dawn vibes got me'?
"At least don't call me a crazy bitch..." Trembling, I hit accept.
"H-Hello...?"
Areum! Camping go well? Your voice sounds off. You okay?
His voice over the line was the usual cheery self. Relief—he must not know about the internet apocalypse yet. I sighed, answering.
"Oh, yeah, President. I'm fine. J-Just did some cleaning, tired, y'know."
Haha, makes sense. Long drive's exhausting—rest up! Calling with good news, actually.
"Good news?"
Yep. That Rakgurakgu collab you hooked up—terms aligned, just contract left.
The Rakgurakgu collab I'd been waiting for... Wait, collab? Wasn't it just a PPL inquiry? Oh, maybe they call PPL "collab" in this biz.
"First PPL, kinda nervous. Gotta explain the gear right in one go."
Ahaha! No need to cram it all at once.
"Oh, multiple shoots then?"
Pardon?
"Pardon?"
Hold up, are we talking past each other...? N-No way...?
"Um, 'collab' isn't just ad filming...?"
Aha! Got it. You got a PPL pitch first, so yeah. We tuned content, got comfy—sorry, should've explained better.
"So then..."
Areum, you'll be their ambassador. They send new camping gear first—you review after using.
"Uh... what about my usual gear...?"
It's 'ambassador,' but not exclusive like others. Rakgurakgu's cool with it.
"Feels like product scouting squad?"
Spot on. Be their advance team.
Whoa... I knew he was capable, but landing this against a big corp...? Sealing that deal that day was a godsend.
Rakgurakgu loves you. Their marketing chief, Choi Sora, pushed hard.
"The one who gave me her card?"
Marketing chief... That super-friendly lady at the Rakgurakgu expo... She vouched for me? Oh yeah, the kid who followed me around was Sora too... But a boy named Nam Sora. Got his number from Grandpa—should hit him up later.
Yes. For final contract, when you free?
Oh right, mid-call.
"Your schedule, I match. Anytime."
Will lock date and ping you.
"Thanks."
Oh, wait.
Hm? More?
Your SNS post? I loved it. Super impressed.
"...Gasp."
Especially 'While the world sleeps, only I stay awake'—so romantic. Fits 'CampVirgin' image perfect. Tough camper with hidden soft sensitivity! Fans'll eat up that depth. Brilliant branding. Bye!
Click. His machine-gun spiel ended, call dropped.
...What.
I stared blankly at the black screen for ages. So...
"...Fuck, he saw it."
Not just saw—dissected it. Word by word.
And his take? Branding strategy? Layered character?
"Fuck, first boomer uncle, now emo midlife poet?"
My hand went limp; phone clattered to the floor.
Would've preferred a scolding... or even curses...