Real Combat! Survival Camping!
"...I'm fucked."
With a face drained white as a sheet, I muttered at the utterly unreal sight before my eyes. I stumbled back into the tent in a daze. My mind went completely blank. No, it was just that everything in front of me was pure white.
What do I do? Can I really just tough this out?
I'd once camped through a three-night, four-day ordeal where the nearby village flooded, but was this the same situation? Damn it. And it was freezing my ass off again...
How the hell does this much snow pile up overnight... no, in less than half a day!
I panicked and rolled around inside the tent like a lunatic. Then, my eyes caught the blank screen of the smartphone in my hand. Reflected there was some bombshell beauty on the verge of bursting into tears.
...What the hell are you doing right now?
Sage mode hit me like a truck.
Yeah, snap out of it! You're no rookie. You've got fifteen years of camping under your belt! This level of crisis... crisis... yeah, it is a crisis. Shit...
After putting on a one-woman show drumming and cymballing away to myself for what felt like forever, I finally regained my senses. Right, first things first—wake up the peacefully snoozing human in the tent next door. I trudged through the snow toward Im Nana's tent. I brushed off the thick layer of snow piled on top and yanked open the zipper.
Seeing her dead to the world, she'd probably sleep through me carrying her off, I felt a weird surge of annoyance. So I decided to amp it up.
"Nana! Get up! We're in deep shit!"
"Mmm... Areum... five more... five hours..."
What? Not even five minutes—five hours? In five hours, we'd both be snowmen!
"Get up now!"
I bellowed, and finally, there was rustling from inside her sleeping bag. The zipper crawled open like a sluggish caterpillar, and a bleary-eyed Im Nana poked her head out.
"What's going on...?"
Im Nana rubbed her sleep-crusted eyes and crawled out. Then, at the sight unfolding before her, she lit up like a kid on Christmas.
"Whoa...! Areum, it snowed! It's so pretty!"
Ah, what am I gonna do with this sunshine girl. But that wonder didn't last. Her gaze shifted from the scenery to my car, half-buried in the white drifts.
"Uh... Areum?"
"..."
"Are we kinda screwed...?"
Yeah, now you've zeroed in on the real problem. Screwed doesn't even cover it. Stranded at a campground in early November snow? It's so absurd it wouldn't even make the news.
"First... we gotta do what we can..."
I waddled unsteadily to the trunk, sinking deep into the snow with every step. Emergency field shovel. Grand name, but really just a big metal spatula.
"Gotta clear the snow around the car first. If the muffler gets blocked, it won't even start."
I gritted my teeth and started shoveling. But the moisture-laden snow was heavy as cement.
Whoa, an igloo out of this would be so aesthetic...
No, fuck that. Not the time for daydreams. I shoveled like mad, but the weighty wet snow meant Human Jelly Areum could barely nudge it along. After a few pathetic scoops, I flopped face-first into the snow.
"Haaah... haaah..."
Im Nana, watching, chimed in.
"Areum... aren't you kinda out of shape?"
"I... haaah... know... that..."
"I'll help!"
Im Nana grabbed a copot lid and started scooping beside me. Hnng...! Ungh...! Grrk. What was this, Sisyphus-level snow-shoveling hell? No matter how much we cleared, it never ended.
How much time passed like that? Finally, we managed to clear around the car somewhat. Hands shaking from cold or exhaustion—or both—I opened the door and turned the key. Thank god, it started.
"Get in for now. Even if you're hot now, you'll freeze fast."
"Ughhh...! Whew, bending over like that wrecked my back..."
We piled into the car, soaked in sweat, and thawed out in the heater's warm blast. Outside the window: our hard-fought excavation scars and endless white fields.
Haa... We dug out the car, but how do we get down? Even a four-wheel-drive would struggle. And mine was a beat-up rear-wheel-drive SUV... Wait in the car for rescue, or find another way?
"Signal's worse than yesterday, probably the snow... Can't even send KakaoTalk..."
Anxiety flickered across Im Nana's face beside me. Yeah, this trial's too much for a camping newbie.
"Hmm..."
"We're really stranded, huh...?"
"Huh? Stranded...? Stranded?"
Stranded... Thinking about it, is this stranded? It's a campground, right? The manager must know... Ah, damn. Was I still half-drunk this morning? Why'd I do something this stupid...
Gulp. I heard Im Nana swallow dryly.
Whoops, gotta ease her anxiety first.
"Nana."
"Y-yeah!"
"We're YouTubers, right?"
"Y-yeah?"
I grinned, and she tilted her head, eyeing me like I'd lost it.
"What's up?"
"We keep filming."
"What? Aren't we stranded? A stranded vlog?"
"Pfft, Nana, this is a campground. They'll come get us anyway. Why so scared?"
"Then why'd you dig snow like your life depended on it?!"
"Th-that was..."
Im Nana's glare sharpened. Kinda scary...
"Youuu...! Just thought of that now, huh?! Toying with me like that?!"
Smack! Smack!
Her tiny palms hammered my arm, loaded with righteous fury. Should've been cotton-candy soft, but damn, it stung. Huh, Nana's got spicy hands.
"Ow, it hurts! Nana! I'm an injured back patient!"
"The hell! An injured back patient digs snow like that?!"
"That was survival instinct!"
"Survival instinct? What am I then?! I was scared shitless thinking we were done for!"
"Aaaah! That hurts! S-stop! Sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Areum, you deserve more!"
Smack!
After the merciless one-sided punishment—with no victim resistance—the steamy car air needed venting, so I cracked the window.
"Whew."
Im Nana let out a satisfied sigh, her face finally relaxed as she turned back to me. I felt wronged but shut up since I'd taken my licks.
"So? What're we filming?"
Her tone still had an edge, but curiosity sparkled in her eyes. Perfect opening—I launched into the idea I'd brainstormed.
"Straight-up 'Snow Survival Camping'!"
"Survival camping?"
"Yep! Some campers skip tents or go off-grid for survival stuff. This vid's for them! You can't film this anytime. It's an opportunity!"
"Uh, opportunity...?"
"No! Unless you hike into a blizzard on purpose, you can't get this! A YouTuber can't pass it up!"
I ranted passionately, and I could feel her 'let's see' stance crumbling into fluster. Yeah, push hard enough, what can you do?
"R-really? That good an opportunity?"
"Totally! Especially stuff only doable in wet snow like this!"
Pinned by my momentum, Im Nana finally nodded. We set up the camera and stepped out.
"Alright, time for the 'Real Combat! Snow Survival Camping' lesson?"
"Woo..."
Her soulless applause scattered into the snowfield.
"With wet snow like today's, here's something special: building a quinzhee snow shelter!"
"Quinzhee? What's that? Like an igloo?"
"Similar. Igloo's stacked hard snow blocks; quinzhee's piled snow hollowed out. Even newbies(?) can do it easy."
I emphasized 'newbies' and side-eyed her.
"One of these beats any tent for cozy warmth. True snow camping romance."
I picked a spot and piled snow with the field shovel. My back throbbed, but no pain face on camera.
"Nana, help out. Pile it high, dome-shaped—that's key."
"Okay!"
Im Nana scooped with her copot lid, but it looked more snowman than shelter.
"Areum, can I add twig eyes and mouth?"
"S-sure... it'd be cute..."
Yeah, better than dry explanation—gotta have fun. After piling a massive mound, phase one done.
"Whew... Let it sit to harden naturally. Meanwhile, other prep."
"Other?"
"Yeah, gather sticks for inside."
"Why sticks?"
"I'll explain later. Grab long ones first."
We collected snow-buried branches and returned to the mound. I picked the longest sturdiest one and explained.
"Now we hollow it. Dig wild, it collapses."
"How then?"
"Keep walls even thickness. Mark with sticks first."
I stabbed it 30cm deep into the pile all around.
"Stick 'em everywhere. When hollowing, stick tip shows—stop there. Safety line."
"Oh... no collapse worries then?"
"Just make entrance and dig carefully from inside. Wanna... do the digging, Nana? My back..."
"Sigh, fine, fine. Patient privileges."
Grumbling but game, she grabbed the small shovel and wriggled into the narrow entrance. Soon, her muffled voice echoed.
"Areum! Starting!"
"Yeah! Stop at sticks!"
Instantly, furious digging sounds erupted. Thunk! Thunk! Shwoosh—
What the—? No portable drill here? Snow dust blasted nonstop from the entrance.
As I marveled, a heavy engine rumble faintly broke the forest silence far off.
"...Huh?"
I fixed on the sound from downslope. Orange lights flickered through trees.
"Areum, hear that?"
Im Nana poked her head out, having heard too. Engine and lights neared. A massive plow blade led a vehicle, shoving snow aside effortlessly. The snowplow barreled up unstopped, halting right at our site. Engine quieted; driver's window rolled down slow.
A friendly-faced campground manager grinned at us through the glass.
"Well hey, ladies! Snow got you bored, huh? Building a snowman? Dang, that's a big one!"
"..."
"..."
Our ambitious 'Real Combat! Snow Survival Camping' content morphed into snowman playtime in a blink. Deflated, I glanced aside—to Im Nana, equally spaced-out, staring back. Her hair... was dusted white with snow powder.