Flame Spike
“Whoa... it’s really huge.”
The rock octopus O Seokgyun had hauled up was jaw-droppingly massive. Each sucker was the size of a 500-won coin—no exaggeration. One wriggling tentacle was as thick as my forearm. This wasn’t an octopus; it was a full-on kraken.
“Holy crap, for real. How the hell did you catch this thing?”
“Beats me. It just felt heavy, so I yanked, and this beast came up attached.”
O Seokgyun was still buzzing with excitement, his face flushed as he lifted the octopus up and down like a trophy. But the joy was short-lived. Reality hit us hard.
“...Oppa. So, uh, how do we prep this thing?”
“Huh? Just slice it up and eat it, right? Raw sashimi or boiled.”
“No. That’s the problem.”
I pointed at the octopus’s slimy surface.
“See this mucus? Washing it off with just water won’t cut it.”
The key to prepping octopus is getting rid of that sticky slime. Fail, and it reeks of fish, plus the texture turns into total goo—worst combo ever.
“Usually, you smother it in coarse salt or flour and scrub like you’re doing laundry. Until no more bubbles.”
“Ah... really?”
O Seokgyun’s face fell. All we had was a pinch of salt from the lunch mission. Not nearly enough. Flour? Yeah, right.
“So what now? Just rinse it quick and grill?”
“Even direct grilling won’t burn off that slime—it’ll char, taste bitter, and risk food poisoning...”
We were stuck. Top-shelf ingredient right in front of us, and all we could do was suck our thumbs.
That’s when it happened. Crunch crunch. Footsteps in the sand, someone approaching. I didn’t need to look—the signature fishy chuckle gave it away.
“Heh heh, you two look like you’ve got some serious troubles.”
Ha Bong-seok PD stood there, hands behind his back, smirking down at the octopus all casual-like.
“Whoa~ Caught an octopus, huh? O Seokgyun, man, you’re a natural-born fisherman.”
“Hyung... I mean, PD-nim.”
O Seokgyun shot him a pitiful glance.
“Please, just let us eat it? A little salt and flour...”
“Aw, c’mon. You think I don’t want to give it to you? Of course I wanna let you eat!”
Smooth talker. But I knew the real meaning hidden behind it.
‘I wanna, but not for free.’
Ha Bong-seok PD beckoned, and a writer hurried over with a tray. On it: a bag of white flour and a tub of coarse sea salt.
“Here you go—prepped just for octopus cleaning, right?”
“......”
“Can’t just hand it over; that’d be no fun. Gotta squeeze out some footage.”
Yup. That damn mission. How many was this today? Tent pitching, cube stacking, hand-clapping games, plant foraging... My body was exhausted, but now my brain was fried too.
Couldn’t say no, though. Not with that octopus on the line.
“...What’s the challenge this time.”
“Let’s use some body this round. Simple one.”
He pinched his nose and threaded his other arm through—like an elephant trunk pose.
“Elephant trunk, 10 spins, then high-five your partner in 5 seconds! Three tries.”
“......”
The world went black. Elephant trunk? Ten spins? ‘Fuck, we’re screwed.’
No one knew my condition better than me. Human jelly. Trash stamina. Balance like a newborn. Not just spinning, but high-fiving after? Even healthy folks wobble from dizziness—me?
“Um... anything else? Quiz maybe...”
“Nah, you need to loosen up. You’ve been sitting all day.”
Ha Bong-seok PD was firm. O Seokgyun eyed me worriedly.
“Areum, you okay?”
“...Gotta do it. For the octopus.”
No choice. Grit my teeth and go. Silver lining: three chances. And O Seokgyun’s athletic—he’d cover for me, right?
“Get ready!”
Ha Bong-seok PD put the whistle to his lips. We stood about five meters apart, facing off. Pinched noses, bent at the waist. Blood rushing to my head already. Dizzy as hell.
“Go!”
Whistle blew. I started stomping spins. One. Two. Three.
‘Urk...!’
Just three spins, and the world spun. Sky and ground flipping, sea turning to mountains. Four. Five. Speed dropping. Legs tangling, body swaying. No balance, stamina, or endurance on my side. Total discord, screaming in disharmony.
“Six! Seven!”
Staff counts buzzed like noise. Eight. Nine. Ten!
“Stop! High-five!”
Finally over. I lifted my head. But everything distorted. Where’s O Seokgyun?! World whirling. Objects doubling, tripling.
“Areum! Here! Over here!”
His voice, but no direction. One step—legs buckled, as expected. Wobble. Splat.
“......”
Down like a tragic heroine, sand cushioning my butt. Silence. Just waves crashing. Shame tsunami incoming. Wanted to stand, but world still spinning top—could only brace and bow my head.
“...Fail!”
Ha Bong-seok PD’s gleeful shout. O Seokgyun recovered first, rushing over.
“Areum? You good?”
“...Don’t talk to me.”
Couldn’t lift my head. Wanted a hole to crawl into. Sob. My image...
“First try fail! Two chances left!”
Ha Bong-seok PD taunted annoyingly. I dragged myself up, staggering. O Seokgyun steadied me.
“Areum, new plan.”
Serious face.
“You moving makes it hard. You spin in place, stretch your hand at the end. I’ll run to you.”
“...Yeah?”
“Try it. I’m quick on my feet. You just stand.”
Sounded better. Him coming to me beats me stumbling over.
“Got it. Let’s do it.”
Positions again. Deep breath. ‘I can do this. Spin, then hand out.’ Self-hypnosis.
“Second try! Ready... go!”
Spinning again. One, two, three... Urk. Did this as a kid on the playground. Time’s cruel. Or this body is.
Five, six... Stomach churning. Gonna puke. Hold it. For octopus. Seven... eight... Legs shaking. Don’t fall. Endure. Nine... ten!
“Stop!”
Count done. Focus, Han Areum! Don’t move! You’ll fall. Stand, hand out!
Hyaap—!
Legs locked against collapse, full-force swing into empty air—like spiking a volleyball.
Then—blurry afterimage rushed in. O Seokgyun, charging full speed as planned.
And—Clap! Smack!
Crisp, heavy impact echoed.
‘...Huh?’
Why two sounds? Palm stinging. Success? Proper high-five?
Steadied my wobble, eyes opening. Vision clearing. First sight: staff jaws dropped in shock. Ha Bong-seok PD rolling on the ground, clutching his gut.
‘...What? Why?’
That surprising? Tough, but O Seokgyun nailed it.
Turned forward.
“Oppa! Did we suc... cess...”
Words stuck. O Seokgyun right in front. But no high-five joy. Head down, hand cradling cheek.
“......”
Shoulder trembling faintly. Between fingers... red, inflamed skin.
No way.
Dread hit. Two sounds earlier. Clap, then smack. One palms meeting. The other...
“N-no, tell me...”
O Seokgyun slowly looked up. Tears in his eyes.
“...Areum. Did you hate me that much?”
“......!”
Heart dropped. Stared at my shaking right hand. Palm red-hot. Then his face. Left cheek and jaw: perfect handprint. My size exactly. Jaw already bruising purple.
“Gyaah!”
I screamed.
“S-sorry! I’m so sorry! Oppa! You okay?!”
Rushed to him in panic. Staff explained: He finished spins fast, sprinted over. Timed for my hand. But I, dizzy mess, “stretched” into a full-power volleyball spike swing.
His speed + my swing = head-on collision. Legendary clash. Palms grazed for the “clap,” but main hit was the “smack” on his cheek.
“Puhahaha!”
Staff collapsed laughing. Camera guy couldn’t even hold steady. Ha Bong-seok PD pounding sand, tears streaming.
“Ow, my gut! Insane! Areum-ssi! You’re a powerhouse, powerhouse!”
“Stop laughing! He’s hurt!”
I yelled, face crumpling. But why so hard? My arms are jelly!
“N-no way I hit that strong...”
Muttering in shock, O Seokgyun rubbed his swelling cheek with a wry smile.
“Nah... I ran too fast... Just an accident.”
“Sorry... really, so sorry...”
I stomped in distress; he patted my back.
“It’s fine. I’m an action actor. Happens on set all the time. Tough hide.”
“Still...”
“And mission success, right? Palms touched.”
Thumbs-up. But swollen cheek made him look pitiful.
Filming paused. Ice pack, swelling patches, bandage—total beat-up look. I huddled beside like a criminal.
“...No face to show your wife.”
Dead serious. Ruining someone’s precious hubby. Apologized in my heart to unseen sis-in-law.
O Seokgyun chuckled.
“Told you, it’s okay. Variety gigs mean bumps. Not on purpose. Wife’ll get it—probably laugh her ass off.”
“Haa... still dying of guilt.”
At least mission counted as success. Ha Bong-seok PD handed over flour and salt, giggling.
“Here—traded for Areum-ssi’s ‘Flame Slap.’”
“...Shut it.”
Grabbed ingredients, heart heavy. Sprinkling flour on octopus, kept seeing his swollen cheek.
‘Octopus sashimi... gotta make it delicious.’
My only atonement. And...
‘Gotta train harder.’
Core weakness made me wobble. All my trash stamina’s fault. Watching slime wash off, hoped my guilt would too.
But my handprint on his cheek? Not fading anytime soon.
...Sis-in-law, truly sorry. I’ll visit later with treats. Till then, don’t hate me too much.
My hands rinsing the octopus looked extra forlorn.