Oh Jeong-mi
Jeong Hye-yun's Perspective
February 7th, after Ian left the villa.
Once he was gone I stayed in his room a long while, burying my face in the bed and breathing him in. Again and again. The thick scent of semen, the air saturated with Ian's body and my own Chaehyang. I clutched the blanket to my nose, lay right there, and giggled softly to myself. Then I checked the clock, pulled on clothes, and went up to my own place on the fifth floor.
Back in my room I sprawled blankly across the bed. A text buzzed. I smiled wide as I picked up the phone—then my face fell.
Ah. Then I should have stayed with Ian longer…
Thinking of him, I typed a message of my own.
A relationship that started with sex at first sight, just like a movie. We hadn't even gone on a proper date or marked any anniversary. The thought of dating after sleeping together made me snicker.
I kept replaying the way Ian had looked so pleased when we recreated those videos. Wanting to know more before Monday's date, I went to Mom's room. I powered on her laptop, set it to reveal hidden folders, and sure enough one was there. I hooked up my own machine, dumped every hidden file and every video I could find by search onto it, then put her laptop back exactly where it belonged. In the living room I left a note.
Mom, I'm going to Yejin's place.
Laptop under my arm, I went back down to 401, stretched out on the bed, and breathed him in again. My pants were already dampening. The sheets were a wreck of semen and slick, but I didn't hesitate—I rolled around in it, laughing quietly for a while, then opened the laptop and checked the folders.
"Huh? What is this?"
The number of videos dwarfed anything on the living-room computer. The difference was that every single one was about women with women. "Mom…" And they were all lesbian SM, mostly shot from the slave's point of view. I lay there staring. Right now all I could do was think of Mom and try to figure out what any of this meant.
Is Mom a lesbian? Then what were the living-room files?
None of it was my taste, so I flipped through and deleted as I went. No spark, no immersion—only revulsion. Sniff. How could she leave something like this lying around… I pictured Ian's cock. My pussy grew wet. When I wiped with my fingers, thick love juice came away.
"Aheung…"
Who else would even use the living-room computer? No one. Before I realized it only a few folders remained; the rest of the videos were gone. Now I opened each file, watched the beginning and end, and deleted. Hmm, this one too…
Then I opened a folder labeled Diary and, for the first time, Hangul documents appeared. Erotic novels? Files numbered 1 through 28, sorted by name. When I clicked number 1 I briefly doubted my own eyes. The contents were… shocking.
I've lost my mind, Jeong-mi.
Today while bathing with Hye-yun I felt that fluttering excitement for the first time in ages. Then I was confused about where the feeling came from, and realized my eyes were on my daughter's chest and sex.
Lesbianism is one thing… but my own daughter…
I washed in a hurry, got out, and searched the internet, but found nothing useful. Every time I think of Hye-yun the motherly feeling slips away. I am seeing her as a woman. I am so confused.
I wasn't imagining it.
From that day on I have been unmistakably in heat for my daughter. Even when she walks around the living room in nothing but underwear my pussy trembles and love juice pours out. It is certain now that I see my daughter as a sexual being. What do I do? I am a failure as a mother. What am I going to do…
Hye-yun says she wants a boyfriend. Absolutely not. Not until I am sure of my own feelings… So I told her that once she is in university she can bring anyone home, and for the first time I took a switch to my daughter. By the time she reaches university my feelings will be sorted out. Rubbing ointment on her calves, I felt as if my chest were being torn open.
"Mom, really? When I go to university?"
"Yes."
I'm sorry, Hye-yun…
Hye-yun's errand. She asked me to bring her lunch box; after I did it I felt pleasure rising. I told my friend Suk-ja that doing something an object of desire asked of me brought sexual pleasure. She said it sounded like an M-tendency or something, and printed something off the internet for me. I filled out the simple test at home and the result came back: submissive orientation. What now—lesbian and submissive? Submit to my daughter? The more I think about it the more excited I get, and I hate myself for it.
I called sleeping Hye-yun "Master." Lately I feel like I am going more and more insane. The instant I cried "Master!" a massive sense of fulfillment and satisfaction took over my brain. Pleasure I will never forget. I ended up grabbing Hye-yun's panties from the washing machine, smelling them, and masturbating.
"Master!!! Hye-yun Master!!!!"
The only mercy is that I react only to Hye-yun.
Master has clearly rejected homosexuality. The movie I casually put on.
"Disgusting."
That single word of Master's drove itself into my chest. What is certain is that Master shows no lesbian leanings. Worry floods in.
"Mom! It's dirty. You know that, right?"
If I ever confess and Master says that to me, the despair that would hit… What do I do?
In the end Master has been accepted to university. More than five and a half years of my one-sided love is finally nearing its end. If she gets a lover, I will be able to give up, won't I? My chest hurts as if it is being ripped apart, but as long as she does not bring home a lesbian it will be somewhat bearable. Should I just offer my body to her boyfriend and casually suggest a threesome? This insane idea has been tormenting me for days. The odds look good. Master has a submissive streak herself, so if her boyfriend asked she would not refuse. But wouldn't that only put more distance between Master and me?
Suk-ja completely misunderstood and stocked the house with videos—mostly ridiculous Western stuff. She spouted some bullshit about wanting to teach me the joy of serving a Black master, so I cursed her out and sent her packing.
"The Master I met while researching SM because of you. You said you have a submissive streak, right? Master saw your photo and liked you. Already four years ago. I've waited long enough for Master…"
"Get lost, you crazy bitch. Let's never see each other again."
And while watching the videos my pussy reacted for the first time in ages. Before enrollment, for the first and last time, I am going to find the courage. If Master will not accept me… maybe I will end up serving the same master as Suk-ja.
"Master. Please accept me. I don't think I can hold on any longer…"
The more I learn about SM the more I understand that I am a body that needs a Master. I need a Master. I only wish it could be Hye-yun.
Suk-ja? Those American SM files labeled #1?
My feelings were a tangle, especially after the final entry, number 28. Suddenly the American #1 video floated up in my mind—the masked Asian woman, the Black man pounding her, the way he kept shouting "Suk-ja." It was the only file with Korean in it, so it had stuck. I opened American #1 again… and once I knew it was Auntie Suk-ja, it was obviously her. Body, voice, everything.
He's worse than Ian. No power, smaller size. Auntie Suk-ja even sounds like she's faking the moans…
Mom would serve a man that pathetic? At first the idea that Mom had been in love with me for five years only brought revulsion. Reading the diary never produced pity; instead I felt the distance between us growing, and it hurt. Then the short final entry made me fall into thought. Better to take her myself and offer her to Ian than hand her over to a man like that. And Mom had already planned to sleep with my boyfriend and propose a threesome, so she wouldn't refuse.
What if we serve Ian-ssi together?
A hot rush. The mattress was getting wet. I make Mom my slave, and I become Ian-ssi's slave. In that instant, without a single touch, I came.
"Aang! Aaaaaaaah!"
That evening I left Jeong-mi's diary open on the living-room table and waited for Mom while watching TV. Around one in the morning Jeong-mi finally came home reeking of alcohol.
"Sweetheart. Mom's late. I told you not to wait…"
"Mom, I looked at your laptop."
The smile that had been on Jeong-mi's face froze. She stood blankly watching me touch the laptop on the table and open the Hangul files.
"Mom, if you have something to say to me, say it. I have something to say too."
"Hye… Hye-yun. M-Mom…"
Thud. Jeong-mi's bag hit the floor. She was so flustered she couldn't even move, just stammered. I walked over and took her hand. My trembling mother looked pitiful. I stroked her fingers.
"Jeong-mi. I have a Master."
"Wh-what? …Th-that…"
Jeong-mi's face crumpled as if she were about to cry; tears already welled. Would she look like that if Ian ever dumped me? I shook my head. I smiled brightly and cupped Jeong-mi's cheek.
"Want to serve him with me? Then I'll be your Master."
Eyes full of rapture. Joy. Tears of a completely different kind filled Mom's eyes.
"…Really?"
The moment I nodded, Jeong-mi sank to the floor, sobbing, and clung to my thighs.
"M-Master. Thank you."
Formal speech. Why did my chest swell with pride and heat the instant my own mother used honorifics to me?
"Good, Jeong-mi. In return you have to serve my Master faithfully, understand?"
I rested my hand on Jeong-mi's head. The way she felt my touch and looked so happy in her gratitude…
"Yes."
I stroked Jeong-mi's hair and thought of Ian. A mother-daughter set. If mother and daughter served him together, Ian would never grow tired of me. The guilt that I hadn't satisfied him with sex alone. He had been smiling, but he only came once for every several climaxes I had.
I'm scared Ian will leave. He can make as many women as he wants now, but I'll never meet another man like him. I have to keep him.
The marriage registration form. The second he filled one out I planned to run to the district office the very next day and file it. And I had already decided I would never grant a divorce. Now that I had the mother-daughter combo as a weapon, I felt even more secure. Jeong-mi's body was a weapon, and her face was still beautiful beyond her years; Ian would like her.
"Then shall we take a look at our Jeong-mi naked? So I can check whether Ian-ssi will like her or not?"
"Yes!!"
1979 Miss Korea runner-up—first place in that year's Seoul preliminaries. Jeong-mi stripped completely and stood there looking shy, staring straight at me. One hundred seventy centimeters, 75F cups, hips that had widened after giving birth to me to a full forty inches. Long legs, a perfect figure.
I'm jealous.
As a woman I envied her body. I was still growing, but I had no confidence I would ever reach that, which only made it worse.
"Master likes a clean white pussy."
"Y-yes. Yes."
I remembered the way Ian had breathed against a bare white pussy, and looking at the naked Jeong-mi in front of me filled me with confidence.
Ian will never be able to leave me. Not when Jeong-mi and I come at him together.