Major Selection (Part 2)
In the original novel, the saintess Elysia Lumen dies. A development where she sacrifices herself to save the world? A tired cliché, but that's exactly why I ended up here in this hellhole, even going so far as to spam hate comments. It started off as a perfectly fine academy romance fantasy, but then the author lost his mind and swerved hard into grimdark territory. That brutal, no-holds-barred plot twist made my eyes spin, and I unleashed a torrent of bad reviews—next thing I knew, I woke up here.
They should've just written it as grimdark from the start. Why couldn't they keep the early vibes all the way through? ...Anyway, getting sidetracked. The point is, her existence is a bomb for me.
'Saintess or whatever, if I get tangled up with the heroine, my peaceful life is over. Even if I graduate safely, those lunatics could pull anything.' Flashes of the male leads' horrific fates at the original ending crossed my mind. A chill crawled up my neck.
"I'm honored you found it impressive. But that's all there is to it."
I met Elysia's gaze with eyes utterly devoid of waver—no, eyes screaming pure annoyance.
"It's just a lump of metal with nothing more to show or explain. So if you could kindly drop the barrier now, I'd appreciate it."
"But there are still people outside?"
"That's for me to handle."
My ironclad resolve left no gaps. Overwhelmed by my unyielding momentum, the saintess withdrew her outstretched hand with a strange expression, finally dispelling the barrier.
Paht!—
The moment it vanished, the blocked cacophony crashed in like a waterfall.
"Ugh! This is all because you muscleheads creepily chased her down—she got scared and ran!"
"What? You're the shady-looking creeps prepping binding spells first!"
Outside the door, the knight faculty and magic faculty were still bickering, blaming each other.
I took a short breath, then instead of fleeing, kicked open the chapel's heavy door with a resounding BAM!
"……."
"……."
The musclebound machos mid-spit-fight and the hollow-eyed mages all snapped their gazes to me. The marketplace bustle of the hallway fell into a suffocating silence, like a lie.
Breaking it first was the knight faculty's macho professor, his jaw bearded to hell.
"Kuhahaha! Better to come out on your own than hide! So you've taken a shine to our knight faculty, eh? Real men are born with balls and become knights—that's true romance! Heh, you get it!"
"Haa... Brains packed solid with muscle, every last one of you idiots."
Cutting off the macho prof's wondrous positivity loop, the magic faculty's female professor snorted.
"Obviously he's interested in our magic faculty, cradle of intellect, right? Isn't that so, cadet?"
Their manic stares poured in from both sides. Without a second's hesitation, I drew a firm line.
"No. I have zero interest in either faculty—not even a speck."
"Wha... You worm!! No shame as a man?! I'll carve romance into every inch of you by force!"
The knight prof bulged veins, declaring physical kidnapping.
Not to be outdone, the female prof smiled with spine-chilling sweetness.
"Hehe... A quiet chat with us, and you'll change your mind in no time."
Behind her, an assistant whispered slyly.
"Professor, hypnosis spell ready."
Hey. That's for interrogating suspects. You think I can't hear?
Recruiting newbies with blatant romance injection and mental brainwashing—this mad academy had me nearly bursting into laughter at the sheer absurdity. No point talking anymore.
I sighed deeply, swiftly drew my revolver from my belt, and fired straight up.
TAANG!!!
A deafening roar shredded eardrums. Birds exploded from nearby trees in panic, acrid gunsmoke curling from the barrel. This blatant physical threat should scare even them off.
"If you come any closer..."
But my dry warning didn't even finish.
"Ooh! So that's the rumored thing!"
The magic prof's glasses flashed as she shrieked in ecstasy. Staring at my gun, she spat eerily accurate analysis.
"Rotary cylinder looks good for exactly six shots! Assistants! Grads! Charge now! Special day off for every hit you tank!"
"Uuuuuh...."
"Vacation... day off...."
At her command, zombie-like grads with dark circles to their chins shambled forward, grinning vacantly. Their vacation-craving groans before my gun barrel were honestly a hundred times scarier than my shot.
"Hey! Can't let 'em have it! Knights, flex those pecs hard!!"
The macho prof bellowed back.
"Any pathetic fool hurt by that toy, I'll inject 'romance' personally! Aura up and bounce it with your pecs!!"
"UOOOOOH!! Roar, my pecs!!"
"Uhahaha! Romance is coming—!!"
Crack, crunch! They ripped shirts to shreds, laughing maniacally as they tightened the encirclement.
'...Is there no sane person in this school? Not one?'
Vacation-mad magic zombies vs. muscle-mad knight machos. Five bullets left in my revolver.
'I'll get nabbed reloading.' Not enough to neutralize them all. I was seriously pondering whose pecs or knees to shatter first when—
"The chapel forecourt, meant to be as peaceful as the Lord's embrace, is quite the racket."
A silken voice pierced the gunsmoke—gentle, yet chilling to the bone.
"……!"
"H-Hiiik! A-Archbishop!"
That one word froze the charging machos and zombies stiff, like crushed under an invisible cross.
Smoke cleared in the breeze. A pale golden-haired man in pristine archbishop robes stood with boundless benevolence. His holy power crushed the open space like a halo behind him; even the gunpowder stench vanished under thick incense.
'Of course. Saintess wouldn't be alone.'
The Church's youngest archbishop, another main male lead in this romance world: Lucius. Having read the novel to the end, I knew his true nature all too well.
That kindly, radiant smile? Pure calculated performance. Former chief inquisitor soaked in more heretic blood than any in Church history. Blind faith in God? Real. But he relished the slaughter, torture, deceit to prove it—a mad sociopath. Ruthless consequentialist, ends justify means. Even pure heroine saintess Elysia fell for the shell, truly revering him.
Students? I could dodge and run. But him? That smiling mad dog wielded legal power and force—a walking calamity.
Lucius glided across the dirt, crossing himself toward the knight prof.
"Professor Nuangman of knights, your passion for injecting romance is admirable... but persist in violence before the Lord's sanctuary, and I'll inject faith into your muscles myself."
"Kuh...! N-No, Your Grace!"
Easily crushing the macho, his smiling eyes turned to magic faculty.
"Magic folk prepping 'hypnosis' near holy ground? My inquisition's confession chamber has vacancies. Shall I grant eternal penance instead of vacation?"
"H-Hiiik! C-Cancel all casts! Retreat!!"
His smiling face belied dripping killing intent. That benevolent threat melted the nightmare encirclement like tide receding.
Silence crushed the chaotic clearing again.
"Phew. At last, the Lord's peace returns."
Lucius elegantly waved away the lingering smoke. Then—
Creeeak. The chapel's thick oak door swung open behind me.
"……Archbishop?"
A clear, bell-like voice. Saintess Elysia, emerging.
The moment she stepped out, I witnessed something grotesque. The chill killing aura and inquisitor slime around Lucius evaporated instantly.
"Ah, Sister Elysia. May the Lord's grace be with you."
He beamed with saintly warmth unimaginable from the prof-crusher. Perfect poker face—Oscar-worthy supporting actor.
Completely fooled by the vile shell, Elysia sighed in relief, smiling brightly.
"Glad you're here, Your Grace. It was so noisy outside—I was worried."
"When a lamb of the Lord is lost and hounded by wolves, the shepherd must intervene."
He glanced at me with merciful eyes. Every "lamb" and "shepherd" from that mad dog's mouth made my stomach churn.
She didn't know the wolf-banisher was a worse predator.
Situation cleared, Elysia nodded faintly to me and headed first toward the grand hall for the major fair.
The instant her silver hair vanished beyond the academy's tree-lined path—
Swish. Suffocating chill blanketed the clearing again.
Lucius's holy smile twisted into serpentine coldness. His gaze slid from dirt to me—precisely, my silver revolver still aimed skyward.
'Would a trigger pull work?' Instinctive tactics flashed, but I shook my head inwardly. Holy power space-domination monster. Five shots? I'd be crucified upside-down in inquisition by morning.
I holstered naturally, vigilance maxed. Click. The metallic snap echoed hugely in the hush.
His smirking eyes traced from my gun-hand to my face.
"Pleased to meet you, Cadet Flint. I am..."
I ignored the cold sweat down my spine, swallowing dryly.
"...the newly appointed,
gulp,
"professor of the Divine Faculty, Lucius."