Chapter 392: Heaven and Hell
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 392: Heaven and Hell
“I’m… back.”
“Kim Taesung, you…” Choi Seulgi muttered, staring at me as I returned home. I knew she wouldn’t be asleep, but I never imagined she’d be camped out right in front of the house. She was suppressing her killing intent as much as possible, but I could feel something constantly shimmering around her.
Her gaze was fixed on Ha Yuri, who was behind me. She looked like she was restraining herself from lunging at her at any moment; I could even see her hands and feet trembling.
Just as I was about to speak, Ha Yuri beat me to it.
“I’m only saying this just in case… but nothing happened. We ran into a group of bandits on the way, and all that happened was that your man helped me out. I have a husband I love, too, so this kind of misunderstanding makes me uncomfortable. I’m telling you this in advance.”
I nodded at Ha Yuri’s words. Choi Seulgi was still glaring at us with burning eyes, but she probably couldn’t see any of the traces she was so anxious about. Rather, she seemed more curious about why my magic had been dispelled.
And about why I had helped Ha Yuri, and why I had returned in my demon form. She was likely racking her brain, trying to figure it all out.
“I don’t know why you’re jealous of me… but your man loves you. It’s funny, but we talked for quite a while.”
“Who… who said I was suspicious? Huh? And I know that better than you do.”
“As long as you know.”
“More importantly, you’re being a bit informal, aren’t you? Hasn’t the situation changed a little?”
“Your husband was the one who told me to speak comfortably. If it makes you uncomfortable, I don’t mind using formal language with you. As long as you promise not to touch us… We’re the weaker ones here, after all. I’m prepared to endure it. But please, let it end with me…”
Choi Seulgi shot me a look, so I turned to her and spoke.
“She’s right. I won’t do anything.”
My words made Choi Seulgi’s expression twist. As she stepped slightly aside, I saw Ha Yuri hurry into her own house. She was clearly going to check if her husband was truly safe. She had been putting on a composed front, but it seemed that wasn't the reality of it. She was probably more worried than anyone.
She opened the door calmly, but a frantic voice immediately came from inside.
“You’re late. I was worried.”
“Haa… haa… You’re safe.”
“The city is still safe, you know. I’m just glad that you’re safe, Lady Yuri. But your body… How many times have I told you not to go out alone…”
“If you’re weak, shut up.”
“A hug isn’t bad, but this is rather sudden.”
“Sob… hic…”
It was quite a moving reunion. But unlike their situation, ours didn’t seem like it would be nearly as touching.
“You.”
“What…”
“Do you have some kind of married woman fetish?”
“Of course not.”
She threw a real fastball at me. She was probably thinking about how I had called her Choi Eunju, but I seriously didn’t have a fetish for married women. It seemed like a joke, but it didn’t look entirely like one, so I sighed and continued.
“I told you I love you.”
“I know that. I also know that nothing happened, and I know you don’t particularly like that bitch. Still, it’s just annoying. I’m not some sweet little angel, you know. If anything, I’m a much bigger bitch than you are. Have you forgiven her now?”
“That’s not it.”
“Looks like it to me.”
“Not at all. Want to go for a short walk?”
Choi Seulgi nodded at my words. She was quick-witted, so she must have noticed the complex expression on my face.
We climbed the city walls and went outside, where a dark, red plain came into view. Choi Seulgi stared at the scenery as I walked in silence. It wasn’t beautiful, but it was enough to make my already complicated feelings even more tangled. It was a depressing world, a depressing landscape.
Choi Seulgi was the first to speak. I shook my head at her question.
“Do you regret it?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you regret turning Ha Yuri into what she is now? Because you feel like you’re becoming the same as her? What is this, crocodile tears?”
“I told you, no. To be honest, it was satisfying. I definitely felt satisfied the last time I saw her. I was one of those people who thought revenge was sweet, and it really was.”
“But you don’t look very happy.”
“It’s because it reminds me of the old days. The way you and I used to live. Everything is coming back to me, one by one. It’s so complicated that I’m starting to think it might have been better to just kill her. It’s not that I don’t feel good about it now. The Sword Saint was an object of hatred, and that hasn’t changed.”
“Then isn’t that the end of it?”
“I wish I could think of it that simply. Remember the old days? When we were trying so hard to live.”
“Of course. You gave up pretty quickly, though.”
“Because there was no reward. No matter how much I struggled, it felt like I was just spinning my fucking wheels in the same spot. So I stopped moving. Right now, in Ha Yuri, I see the me from back then.”
“I get it, but it’s not something you need to agonize over. Are you… afraid you’re going to deny it? What you’ve created, what you’ve obtained… are you afraid you’ve destroyed it with your own hands?”
Choi Seulgi might be right. When I helped Ha Yuri, I was undeniably denying what I had created. It would be more accurate to say that I didn’t want her to feel the same things I had felt.
“Or are you that shocked that you helped Ha Yuri?”
“It’s not that dramatic. I didn’t think before I acted… I just didn’t like it.”
“Kim Taesung, you’re so fucking sentimental. That’s one of the reasons I like you, though…”
“I’ve never thought of myself as sentimental.”
“No, you’re fucking sentimental. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been hooked by a single gold coin and embarked on the adventure of a lifetime.”
Choi Seulgi was right. I was, in fact, sentimental. Even at this very moment, I couldn’t stop thinking about what might have happened if someone had given us a chance, if someone had helped us. I spoke quietly.
“Were we happy?”
“A little?”
“What if we hadn’t regressed?”
“We would’ve died there. A fucking unfair death. Still, it wasn’t a bad ending. It was annoying that we died right after getting together, but we should have had one celebratory fuck before we died.”
“Pfft. What do you think would have happened if Ha Yuri had helped us back then?”
“I don’t know. But I still would have hated her.”
“…”
“You don’t really regret it, do you?”
“Do I look like the kind of person who would?”
“A little… Not that I think you’ll turn over a new leaf or anything.”
“I guess I look like a bad guy to you.”
“Honestly, you’re a fucking bastard. Look back at everything you’ve done until now. You’ve killed hundreds of thousands of people, and you’re tormenting millions more. You might have had your reasons, but if you had to pick a side, it’s obviously the bad one. Everything you see here, you created it. It’s only natural for your thoughts to get complicated. I don’t really care, but honestly, I don’t want you to regret what you’ve done.”
“…”
“If you were to truly regret all of this, could you handle it? Before, you had the justification that you were doing it to survive, but that’s not the case anymore. What’s driving you now is the desire to climb a little higher. Like the old Ha Yuri… though not something as absurd as becoming a god.”
“You’re right.”
The old Ha Yuri and the current Ha Yuri—both of them were quite similar to the me of today. I spoke again. Our positions were now completely reversed, but Ha Yuri back when she was in the West was undoubtedly me now, and the Ha Yuri of today was me back then.
“So, do you hate it?”
“Why would I ever hate it? I’m on your side even if the sky falls. Thinking creatures are thoroughly self-centered by nature. Look at the elves. Can you believe those innocent elves are now obsessed with tormenting those Japanese bastards?”
“…”
“But it’s also strange to say the elves are bitches for it. They’re just exercising their natural rights. On this fucked-up continent.”
“Hmm…”
“Those Japanese bastards are more servile than anyone right now. They probably don’t even remember the sins they committed. They’re just suffering and miserable. If their positions with the elves were reversed again, do you think those bastards would sympathize with the elves? Absolutely not. Never. They’d probably get excited and violate the elves all over again. The reason Ha Yuri is a bitch is because of what she did to us. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that she did some crazy shit, but if we had been third parties, the old Ha Yuri would have been nothing more than a piece of gossip.”
That was probably true. No, I might not have even cared at all.
“There are probably bastards who resent us, too. I’m sure of it… There are definitely people out there sharpening their knives, cursing, ‘That motherfucker Blood Dagger.’ I try to think that I’m only crushing the worst of the worst, and I operate according to my own standards, but there are definitely people who get caught in the crossfire. Especially in my case… But I don’t deny you. I support you and sustain you. If you truly decide you don’t need any of this, you can just say it never happened and walk away.”
“…”
“If not, then just bear what you want to bear. And just say ‘fuck the rest.’ Why do you think we’re living so tenaciously in this second life?”
“…”
“We understand. We know that on this continent—no, not just here, but anywhere human bastards live—the strong are the only ones who get to choose. Giving up, maintaining, sympathizing, taking revenge, helping, comforting—all of it is something only those with power can do. And you have it. Don’t overthink it. You have it, so you can live however you want. Didn’t you say ‘Anai Tottka’?”
“You’re right.”
“It’s the same with Ha Yuri. I respect everything about you. I even respect your whims. If she pisses you off, kill her. If you feel like rewarding her for her effort and rehabilitation, then do it. You have the power to take responsibility for your actions.”
Everything Choi Seulgi said was true. The reason I was pushing myself so relentlessly was obvious. Only the strong have choices. I had constantly moved forward, seeking to become stronger so I wouldn’t be swayed by others.
“You’ve earned it, so enjoy it. Crush the bastards you don’t like, and help the ones you want to help. Do whatever makes you feel at ease. Don’t just get lost in your emotions; act on them. You have the right to act that way. This was a struggle to live like that. And that fight isn’t over yet.”
“Thank you.”
Nothing had become clearer. My mind was still a mess, and I felt incredibly uneasy. But it wasn’t a bad feeling, knowing that someone believed in me like this. I could understand why Ha Yuri said she was happy now.
‘Do whatever you want.’
Of course, actually acting like that wasn’t easy, but thinking that I had someone supporting me made it seem not so difficult.
I gently caressed Choi Seulgi’s cheek. It was meant to be a romantic gesture. But Choi Seulgi snatched my hand, licked it once with her tongue, and then muttered. She even started to slowly move her hand toward her lower body.
“So, have you decided? Are you going to kill her? Or let her live?”
“Neither.”
“Really?”
“I’m just going to toss it out there. How she takes it is up to her. I don’t think she’s paid for all her sins. She might even think that spending the rest of her life here is happiness. Ha Yuri…”
“That’s true…”
“More importantly, wanna do it before we go back?”
“Here?”
“Yeah.”
“…”
“There’s no one around, right?”
“Can’t hold it in?”
“Of course not. Because right now… you’re fucking sexy.”
I laughed at Choi Seulgi’s words.