Chapter 88: Soccer is Played with Feet, Basketball with Hands (2)
88. Soccer is Played with Feet, Basketball with Hands (2)
Kang Hajin seriously asked the Yellow Team's assigned writer.
"Writer-nim, I have a question."
"Yes, Hajin-ssi."
"Is this really the image you were hoping for?"
The writer followed Hajin's polite gesture—like a waiter guiding guests at a high-end restaurant—to see:
Lee Doha, whose shoulders didn't fit even the largest size, unable to straighten his back despite fully unzipping the outfit.
Kim Won-ho with one pant leg rolled up to his calf and the top crisscrossed over his shoulders and sides.
Yu-geon with pants so short they exposed his ankles, half his face buried in the fully zipped-up collar.
And when turning his gaze, there was Kang Hajin standing right beside him, jacket half-slipped off his shoulders while staring back.
Frankly speaking, this sight...
"Ah..."
Was absolutely hilarious!
These fiercely handsome guys sprawled across the field in bright yellow training suits—what a visual!
"They look like... baby chicks?"
"More like ducklings?"
"...Ahh."
"Writer-nim, that reaction suggests you've realized something."
Fortunately, the team uniforms were windbreaker material with a yellow and white color scheme. While not as skin-tight as feared, even the writer admitted the visuals weren't exactly harmonious.
But there was a reason for this.
"I'd love to change them, but the only other option is black. The main PD said this team would look even worse in black..."
Hajin wanted to protest—"What's wrong with black? 80% of Korean men wear black!"—but held back. He completely understood Kwon PD's perspective.
"If they wear black, they'll really look like dark overlords..."
Between looking like actual gangsters... cute gangsters were preferable, right?
Finding no counterargument, Hajin moved to his next prepared point.
"But don't we need some balance adjustments? Our team seems stacked with only physical types..."
Team composition balance.
Even just one or two members with cute images could alleviate this severe visual dissonance. They at least had Seo Taehyun miraculously pulling it off—if they could swap someone like Dan Haru or Yuki in...
"Ah! That's fine. Taehyun-ssi is on the Yellow Team," the writer cheerfully replied, thumbs up.
Hajin shut his mouth at this enthusiastic response.
As someone who'd watched all of "Boyhood Under Heaven," Hajin already knew one fact:
"Taehyun-ssi is terrible at sports! (Famous since 'Boyhood' for running 100m in 18 seconds!)"
Ultimately gaining nothing, Hajin gloomily accepted reality and zipped up the bright yellow jacket.
'Well, since we're here, let's turn crisis into opportunity.'
If he couldn't avoid it, Hajin decided to enjoy it. He'd milk this for all it was worth.
Viewed this way, the combination didn't seem so bad.
'Raise Lee Doha's trust, reconsider recruiting Kim Won-ho, break the ice with Yu-geon.'
Achieving just one would make it worthwhile.
Broadcast time was guaranteed anyway. Hajin smirked slyly at Taehyun beside him.
"...What? Why're you looking at me like that?"
Taehyun, waving a balloon cheer stick, startled and leaned back at Hajin's gaze.
Undeterred, Hajin proudly patted Taehyun's curly hair just enough not to ruin the styling.
"Taehyun-ah. Grandpa believes in only his grandchild."
"Believe what? Stop staring like that."
"I believe our broadcast genius Taehyun will handle everything."
The broadcast was Taehyun's problem—today, Hajin would relax and search for regression clues!
Or so he thought!
"Team captains today have a special privilege—player selection rights!"
He'd planned to coast!
"Captains must field players for each event to secure maximum wins! The champion team receives tremendous benefits!"
At this, Taehyun's eyes gleamed.
"But this would be too boring, right?"
"Using my special MC authority, I've just added a rule!"
"For each event's winning team, their captain can choose one opponent player for the next event!!"
Nam Dawoon's sparkling wink shattered Hajin's happy delusion that "with four teammates, others can play instead."
The result:
"Hyung, can you play foot volleyball? Wait, it's always played with feet..."
"......"
Kang Hajin. (Age 20. Regressor.) Currently attending all five events consecutively (against his will)!
"Yah!!!! Kang Hajin, you said you were in elementary track!!!!! Are you even trying??"
"Oh~! Frustrated Yellow Team captain Seo Taehyun finally snaps at player Kang Hajin!"
"I've thought this since last time—Taehyun has impressive lung capacity."
"Indeed. We chose this remote location very well! Kudos to production!"
The announcers were more annoying than the fuming Taehyun.
Hajin clumsily lifted his foot at the clearly targeted ball, but it hit at a weird angle and flew wildly away.
Another point lost. Taehyun now clutched his neck, collapsing.
[System: The system expresses regret at the Fixed Regressor's hopeless foot volleyball skills... (;´ Д `)]
'You penalized my athletic stats—you don't get to comment!'
[System: That was a joke though? ( ㅡ_・)?]
This bastard...?
Seizing the chance, Sipsam thoroughly mocked Hajin before vanishing, clearly venting past grievances.
"Oh~! Captain Seo Taehyun requests a substitution!"
"Wouldn't subbing earlier have been better, commentator Nam Dawoon?"
"Since designated players must complete minimum playtime, this was Captain Seo's best option. But Kang Hajin's lost points will sting."
They're having too much fun.
Hajin glared at the commentators on his way back but lacked even the energy to scowl properly.
Returning, Taehyun handed him a towel and iced water with a sigh.
"This insults my 'Tumbling Captain' nickname."
"Taehyun-ah, life's too hard sometimes."
"Can't you see our scoreboard suffering because of you?"
"...I did my best, believe me."
To explain:
Hajin's athleticism wasn't lacking—rather, it was above average. His parents were athletic, and he enjoyed sports too.
Except ball sports. Specifically, "foot-based" ball sports.
'That bastard senior ragged on me for being bad at soccer.'
When your senior loves soccer, being bad is a sin. Thus, Hajin was a sinner. (Though spared being labeled defective since he excelled elsewhere.)
—You're so physically capable, why do you turn useless with balls?
A friendly senior often marveled. But Hajin had his reasons.
'When would I practice?!'
Hajin was the type who went to the practice room while others played sports at lunch. Occasionally trainees played catch, but those who skipped practice together wouldn't include him.
Unfortunately, every event so far required using feet.
'Who starts with futsal as a warm-up?!'
Admittedly, it was variety-style futsal—with soap bubbles on plastic sheets making players slip—but still!
Hajin's futsal performance got him nominated every match since.
He'd earned a nickname: Yellow Team's X-Man.
"Asked to play soccer, he hits home runs with the ball. Told to kick jianzi, he shoots..."
"Ah, sorry."
"Ugh, seriously... I'll let it slide since it was funny."
"Really?"
Fortunately, Taehyun prioritized broadcast time as much as benefits, so Hajin's variety appeal earned leniency. (Being hilariously bad had its perks.)
His earlier outbursts were likely acting (probably), as Taehyun now looked serene.
"Anyway, the team scores aren't far apart."
Taehyun glanced at the scoreboard:
<1st — Phoenix Team>
<2nd — Yellow Team>
<3rd — Lilac Team>
<4th — Blue Dragon Team>
Despite Hajin's epic trolling, Yellow Team ranked second overall!
And the MVP was currently in action.
"Oh~! Can Lee Doha receive that? Amazing!"
The fast, bouncing ball found perfect trajectory off Doha's header, set up for an easy finish. Kim Wonho whistled cheerfully before the winning strike.
"Finally!! Yellow Team wins!!"
"Lee Doha turned things around immediately after subbing in!"
"His performance today is incredible~ He's jumping around in acupressure slippers! Normally that's point deduction territory—each step should bring screams!"
Of course production didn't do ordinary foot volleyball.
Randomly drawn footwear assignments gave Doha acupressure slippers—normally torture devices making every step painful.
Yet Doha high-fived teammates with perfect serenity.
Taehyun pointed at Doha, supremely satisfied.
"Who knew Doha-hyung would be our ace?"
"...Indeed."
Lee Doha—son of a gym owner—had tried every sport before music.
His dominance today explained why opponents kept forcing Hajin to play—to contain Doha.
"We should've realized from his athlete concept photos. How can someone so athletic dance like that?"
Taehyun tilted his head in genuine confusion.
Hearing his senior's words echoed, Hajin awkwardly laughed while chugging mineral water.
'Those are completely different things, man...!'
Today was going to feel very, very long.