Chapter 82: Bomb! (4)
82. Bomb! (4)
[System Notification: ....... s(・｀ヘ´・ ;)ゞ]
"What."
I was leaning against the second-floor railing, watching Han Seong-woo leave after his final retirement following his conversation with Joo Eun-chan, when that damn Sipsam kept trying to get my attention like this.
I'd been ignoring those notifications because I couldn't be bothered to check each one, but now the bastard was going all out with flower and aurora sparkle effects in his tantrum.
"Pretty decorations don't make your words any prettier."
[System Notification: But what if it's an unread red notification?]
You absolute bastard...
"What. What's your problem, seriously."
[System Notification: (Choking-on-sweet-potato reaction)]
"My votes got wiped?"
[System Notification: (Violent nodding until neck bones crack reaction) (˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣)]
I've been noticing lately—this punk's been getting way too invested in my idol journey. Instead of finding the damn regressor I asked for.
[System Notification: But! It's so unfair!]
[System Notification: After covering everything up, they even erased your votes! (ಠ‸ಠ )]
"Why do you look more upset about this than me?"
I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity, which made it spew red steam at me like this wasn't the time for laughter.
Oh really?
"Alright, alright, stop turning red. I have trauma seeing you turn red."
[System Notification: ....... (solemn silence)]
"And some things you just have to wait and see."
[System Notification: ......?]
I watched the revolving doors of the Miro Entertainment building until Han Seong-woo completely disappeared.
When I turned my head, Joo Eun-chan was coming up the stairs. He seemed to have spotted me, approaching with a slightly surprised expression.
"Hyung."
"Yep. Finished talking? Let's go eat. The others already left."
"...Ah."
At the mention of eating, Eun-chan's expression darkened slightly.
He hesitated for a moment before carefully asking me,
"Hyung... would you like to go out to eat with me today? My treat."
"Why? Today's company cafeteria menu is braised chicken."
"I'll buy you something better."
But I want braised chicken... Does he not like it?
Still, judging by his expression, the point seemed to be eating outside rather than the menu itself.
'Well, no reason to refuse if he's offering to treat me.'
Unable to resist that look in his eyes, I finally took out my phone and called Seo Tae-hyun, who was waiting for us.
—Why aren't you coming? I'm three seconds away from passing out from hunger. (Hyung... I'm seeing mirages...)
"Yeah, go ahead and eat first. I'm going out with Eun-chan today."
—Suddenly? You said you'd absolutely eat today since it's braised chicken at the cafeteria.
"Rich kid Eun-chan's treating me to something fancier. Bye."
—What? No, hyung. Stop extorting Eun-cha—
I ended the call right there.
There was a huge misunderstanding in Tae-hyun's last words, but since I do mooch off Eun-chan quite often, I didn't feel the need to correct him.
"I get to pick the menu?"
"Yes, whatever hyung wants to eat."
"Alright, let's go then."
On this gloomy day, there's just one thing that hits the spot.
As I took the lead, Eun-chan followed close behind.
Eun-chan stared blankly at the bubbling stew in front of him.
Between the sound of falling rain and the boiling broth, he felt some of the tension in his body slowly easing.
"On rainy days, you need something hot like this to practice well later."
"Hyung, sometimes you... really sound like an old man."
"Tch, this brat."
I may have regressed a few times, but I'm not an old man, punk.
The words almost slipped out, but I barely held them back. Hearing "old man" after regressing ten years made me inexplicably irritated.
"Just eat, you little lamb."
I piled a generous portion of the stew onto Eun-chan's plate. He looked slightly awkward as he stared at it before finally taking a spoonful of broth.
"...!"
"...What? Never had pork bone stew before?"
"Never really had a chance to try it. But this... it's good."
Apparently it suited his taste, as Eun-chan began eating faster. It's not like he's some chaebol heir slumming it.
'...Wait. Is he actually a chaebol heir slumming it?'
Well, it made sense—an 18-year-old trainee living alone wouldn't have many chances to try this kind of food.
I pushed some dipping sauce toward him along with a plate of radish kimchi before starting my own meal.
"So."
"...Yes?"
"Why didn't you want to eat at the company cafeteria? Tell me. It's noisy here, so no one will overhear."
At that, Eun-chan paused his eating.
I couldn't tell if everything showed on his face or if I was just unusually perceptive.
"......"
Eun-chan glanced around.
As I'd said, the restaurant was packed with office workers during lunch hour, each engrossed in their own conversations. Our table was at the very edge, with hardly anyone passing by.
The warm broth seemed to ease his tension, and Eun-chan began opening up hesitantly.
"I feel... really strange."
"Because of Seong-woo hyung?"
"I thought... Seong-woo hyung might hate me. He was pushed aside in the special class too, and he's older, so debuting is more urgent for him... and with people calling me a nepotism hire. It made sense if he did."
Yet despite the rumors, he'd been kind to me—so kind that I wondered if Seong-woo was genuinely good-hearted and understanding. Was I wrong for feeling uncomfortable and burdened by him? I'd even blamed myself for it.
"But after learning Seong-woo hyung was actually the nepotism hire... and seeing how the other trainees' attitudes changed overnight... I can't stop thinking about it."
Just yesterday, they'd been excluding and mocking me. Today, they approached me with pitying eyes, patting my shoulder and saying I must have suffered alone all this time.
When I'd denied the rumors, no one believed me. But the moment a different rumor spread, everyone suddenly acted like they'd known something was off and took my side.
Eun-chan couldn't make sense of any of it.
"I haven't changed at all... I don't hate the hyungs, but it just feels... off. It's uncomfortable seeing them now. We're supposed to practice together."
"......"
"I want to understand them, but I can't, and it's frustrating. If this was going to happen, why did they treat me like that before? Why me, of all people...?"
I quietly watched as Eun-chan lowered his head.
I carefully considered my words. What could I even say here?
What came out was a very old, worn-out story.
"I've been there too."
"Huh?"
"I've been ostracized before. At my old agency."
"...You?"
"Look at you making the same face as Kim Won-ho."
Is it that hard to believe I was bullied? I raised an eyebrow skeptically, and Eun-chan cautiously nodded.
"Though in my case... well, how do I put it. It was partly my fault too. Back then, I was... hmm."
My expression twisted slightly as I pieced together the fragmented memories that remained.
"I think I was more selfish back then. Not that I'm completely selfless now."
"......"
"I cursed way more, and I tried to do everything alone."
"...I can't really imagine that."
"Yeah? Well, I was a real piece of work back then. I've mellowed out a lot since. After that incident."
I remembered "that incident."
The first time I'd ever been rejected by people.
"One day, I went to the practice room, and no one was there. I thought maybe the others were running late, so I waited, but no one showed up. No one answered my calls either."
At the time, I just figured those bastards had ditched me again to goof off somewhere.
Even now, one memory stood out vividly despite the haze. I rubbed my eyes slightly.
"I went to complain to the manager when I heard voices. I followed them and found all the other trainees gathered in a different practice room. The smell of sweat, music playing—everything."
At first, I thought I'd just gotten the wrong room assignment.
I was about to angrily confront them for not telling me when one of the trainees—same age as me—slowly walked up.
"He told me: We decided we're not practicing with you anymore. Then he laughed with the others."
"......"
"I asked why they were suddenly doing this, and they listed every reason they hated me one by one."
Even though it happened so long ago, the memory left a bitter taste in my mouth.
I washed it down with water before looking at Eun-chan. His face was all scrunched up like he was the one who'd gone through it.
"That's when I first realized: Oh, I speak too harshly. I'm bad at considering others. Without even knowing, I'd been hurting people. I can't keep doing this."
That's when I understood how terrifying isolation was. How painful it is to breathe in a space where everyone hates you.
So after that day, I struggled to become a better person. I tried to speak kindly, to be considerate, to work endlessly at being part of the group.
But even so, even if I had my flaws back then—
Even if that experience helped me become a better person—
"Eun-chan."
"...Yes."
"Knowing the reason doesn't make it hurt less."
"......"
"Even knowing it was partly my fault... it still hurt."
The fear I felt back then never truly went away.
"After that, whenever friends talked about something I didn't know, I'd get scared. For a while, I developed a habit of scrutinizing people's expressions after I spoke."
"......"
"Just someone calling me out would make my chest tighten and my heart race. I'd wonder—did I do something wrong?"
Hell, even now, after living through four regressions, I still had nightmares about that day.
I smiled bitterly, remembering all those sleepless nights.
"So it's only natural that you feel wronged and hurt. How could you possibly laugh it off with them overnight? Don't let my words fool you—it took me years to get over it."
"...Really?"
"Of course. Hey, those guys—Shin Youngho and his crew, right? I know all about them. Ugh, pathetic bastards. If they had any conscience, they'd at least apologize. Don't even acknowledge them until they do. No, wait—make them apologize. Squeeze it out of them. Just say the word."
Remembering my own days in Team B got me unnecessarily fired up as I passionately ranted between bites of meat. But Eun-chan just sat there deep in thought.
I didn't press him further, quietly continuing my meal instead.
He was smarter and tougher than I thought—this much was probably enough for him to pull through.
"......"
After sitting silently with his thoughts, Eun-chan finally nodded to himself, his expression clearing up just as I'd expected. Smiling proudly, I asked:
"Feel a bit better?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then let's add the noodles. The broth's about to evaporate waiting for you."
At my perfectly normal remark, Eun-chan laughed this time—a relaxed, relieved laugh that anyone could see was genuine.
"Hyung."
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
"......"
"I wanted to say that at least once."
[System Alert: 'Joo Eun-chan' reacts to you. (Reaction Rate: 86%)]
['Joo Eun-chan' can be recruited.]
[Recruit? (Y/N)]
Along with Eun-chan's gratitude came the now-familiar—even welcome—Comrade Recruitment window.
But more than gaining another potential regressor candidate, I was happier that Eun-chan had come to trust me this much.
"...Yeah. You've had it rough too."
And just like that, I gained my fifth comrade.
And I was... genuinely glad about it.